>start doing something difficult and prone to causing injuries

>>1209508
>wife asks me to do something at home
>Get the stuff off the top of the cupboards and wipe them down
>list how it violates various OH&S standards, such as the fact I don't have a harness or safety tether
>Loudly exclaim she could lose her job as housewife over this if the guild ever finds out
>Also explain I am not part of the housewives' guild and my labour would be considered as scabbing, in direct conflict with their code of ethics


One time she wanted me to remove a trellis from inside a grapevine bush bigger than a man.

>>1209512
Explain these women to me, why continue to be with them outside of nogging?

>>1209529
They mother your children, you can't abandon your children to the doom of a single mother household. So you put up with some shit.

>>1209597
YOU BREED?!!!

the worst bit is when they tell you HOW to do the thing they've never ever done, and you've done a dozen times.

The one thing I can never figure out is how to find a woman that instead of acting as your personal workplace health and safety representative, comes up to you and says "Looks like this calls for the 2lb sledge" and then hands it to you

>>1209613
>How to get into a marriage ending argument for the sake of getting a 13mm wrench.

>>1209613
TFW I'm moving and my mother is literally a WHS officer in her workplace.

>>1209508
>Doing something difficut and dangerous that requires concentration
>Woman teleports behind you
>Nothing personal, anon
"Are you sure that's safe?"
>Get distracted and cut open your finger
"I told you that was unsafe! You never listen to me!"

>>1209622
>Hey dear can you hold the ladder
THATS UNSAFE!!!!
>I know thats why I want you to hold the ladder while I climb down
>THATS UNSAFE!!!!!
*wind blows
>ARRRGHHGHHHH!!!!!!
*wife hires contracter while youre in hospital
*3k bill

I always thought it was a third world problem
Glad to hear it was universal

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>>1209508
Its just that when you do something that needs to be done, its all too difficult to live with.

>Car broken
>Pull engine out
>Replace worn out bits
>Stick it in bathroom while waiting for more bits to arrive
>EEEEEEEEE! its dirty
>Stick it in laundry
>EEEEEEEEE! its dirty there too
>There is nowhere else except the bedroom, pretend its in a happy safe place
>Shrieking intensifies daily
>Engine is actually cleaner than the day it left the factory after a few litres of degreaser
>Pick it up, stick it in the kitchen behind the door and hide it under some towels
>Goes unnoticed for two weeks

>ask woman to go get a specific product from the home center
>brings back something different than what you wrote down
>"the guy said this one does the same thing, and it was cheaper"

better yet

>woman asks you to fix something which you have zero experience with
>"can you just look at it? I don't know what is wrong with it"
>say okay and try to identify the issue
>5 mins later
>"so why isn't it working?"

>>1209602
Nah, the worst is when they talk out their ass about the ridiculous dangers they've made up about what you're doing, THEN tell you how they'd do it (most often, they're call a pro or leave it alone; who really sees that gaping hole on the wall, after all?) despite having no germane experience.

>>1209627
>Working at home center
>Clueless woman wants something her man sent her for
>Has only a vague idea of it's description, function, and intended use
>Give it my best shot

Just go yourself, it saves time, I promise.

>>1209625
The solution is simple you apartmentfag. Also top tier pic my dude.
>>1209642
Ha, my wife actually tried patching the wall while I was hunting once. She put duct tape over the hole and then smeared 3 litres of plaster up and down the wall. I sorted things out and made sure she watched, I felt like a dick but atleast she knows how to do it now.

>>1209644
no no no, it's not like you say "go get a thingamajig", you write down the exact product, but even though they have no idea what it is or what it is for, they reserve the judgement to pick something else because it's cheaper

>>1209600
How else will I advance the future race of brown people?

>Wife asks me to do a simple task like mow the yard.
>Tell her I will do it in 2-3 days
>"BUT IT'S EASY AND WILL ONLY TAKE YOU 30 MINUTES JUST DO IT NOW IT IS TOOOOO LONG WE LOOK LIKE HUMAN TRAAAAASH"
>"If it is so quick and easy you can do it."
>Proceeds to huff and be angry for the rest of the evening doing nothing. Like, yeah, I didn't expect her to mow, but she doesn't even clean or make herself useful in order to show how much busier she is and has no time to mow the lawn and I should.
>Mow yard two days later

>living with women
Why would you do that

This thread is my goddamn weekend so far. How did YOU know?

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>>1209623

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>>1209939
buy a cattle prod

maybe get women that so stuff, or dont do stupid shit?

>>1209939
I understand if your waiting for the grass to be a little bit longer or for the weather to be good for a couple days, but pushing back the mowing date because your lazy is pretty damn degenerate.

>>1209627
https://youtu.be/P22Q46dIwug
Read the description.

>>1209646
>The solution is simple you apartmentfag

Hey, at the time I was young, needed somewhere to live that wasn't complete shit... and cheap!
>and spent all my money on fancy cars and rubbish women

>>1210080
in an alternate reality grinders are not used for cutting

>>1210057
Mowing the lawn is one of the least important home chores. Best one to procreate on.

>>1210110
Yea, theyre also use for grinding retard.

>>1210117
Also the most fun.

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>a million things around the house to fix
>Started two new projects this so running into the regular acclimation problems
>Leave home early
>Get home late
>Something else in the house is broken
>Car starts giving problems
>Truck starts giving problems
>Borrow friends truck
>That starts giving problems
>Machinery and equipment on both sites start failing
>Close family member comes to me with a wrecked hand needing a ride to the hospital
>25% of the workforce calls in sick
>I know it's because of a party, these bitches are fired
>I am so stressed I feel like I am going 87 mph sitting still
>Get home one evening after manhandling a fucking loader bucket for the afternoon because the fucking service crane snapped a new cable
>Wife asks me why I haven't put up those cute floating shelves she saw on Pinterest yesterday

Or, a woman that does not believe in your DIY skills

>anon, would be nice if we have an extra power outlet on that wall
>shall we call your dad?

I've repeatedly shown capability, yet somehow she has zero faith.

>>1210149
Even worse; a woman with a father who is an electrician.
>'dont you fucking touch that outlet im calling my father who is over 120 miles away to come over and just take a look at it'
I'll never be a man in her eyes.

>>1210183
Even worse, she always calls her brother to do diy jobs and he has literally no idea what he's doing so you have to redo it and then it's somehow your fault for not waiting for him to come back and 'finish' it.

>come home from work
>pile of branches next to door
>honey what are these branches for
>decoration, she says
>they have bugs clearly still living on them
>i want to hang them on the wall, she says


Why do women always want to fill house with driftwood?

>>1210219
you reminded me, i need to get some driftwood, but no beaches near me ever really have any.

>spring time.
>time to get the evap cooler cleaned and ready for the summer.
>ask wife to stick around since I've never done this before but knew my hands would be to shit to take down dimensions and parts list.
>wife hangs around
>not interested in what I'm doing and browses facebook
>ask her to start writing down things
>she does
>sends it to me in an email when I'm done
>doesn't put anything in the subject line
>rEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sorry for the boring story, but it turns out I have an awesome wife for diy. She's not perfect though, she regards me as a voice activated autopilot when we drive, to places we've been to a million times...

>>1210219
Wife got into gourds. They carve and burn them and do all sort of crafting shit.
>oh I'm going to sell them on eBay and make some money on the side
>uh huh...
She was really good and finished a couple and sold a few, maybe like 500$
That doesn't cover her tools though
And she went and bought like a hundred bucks of raw gourds a year to work on

Now she has no time for it. And we just have like ten boxes of gourds and gourd tools

>>1210251
Wow, sounds like she's really out of her gourd.

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>>1210219

>Driftwood

Jesus holy Christ. They absolutely latch on to shit.

The recent worst is

>Shiplap

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Did somebody say shiplap?!?!

>>1210394
whats wrong with driftwood? its a natural contrast to a plant in the room and is symbolic of the the circle of life. if you have no taste and have a clutter of ornaments i imagine it would look shit though.

shiplap interior looks terrible though, one of many faux beach house designs and styles that look bad (in fact thats just typical french beach house design overall)

>>1210400
also adding about shiplap.
while its a weak design choice it serves as an intermediate step away from cozy design aesthetic. perhaps the choice is also suggesting a desire to move away from the place as shiplaps ecstatic look sways from the notion of a cozy home.

>>1210400

>whats wrong with driftwood?

Ask me that again when the third word in every sentence out of an interior designers mouth is fucking "driftwood".

I have run into about 5 of these driftfag designers and honest to god it has really gotten to me

>>1210411
do tell me how they use it, there should be one large piece total, non central but still the highlight in a neutral room. 2+ interior plants. just do it once it the house. i think a horn works better but then you're shifting towards gothic style moreso.

its a cliché at thia point. when a design latches on so heavily its best to avoid it. sure not everyone is going to have a 1.5m piece of driftwood in their house. when they do that scaled down put it on the shelf thing it annoys me. it also shows that the person is unwilling to stick with one thing, and fears being different when they do things like that

>>1210117
>procreate

>>1210411
Found a piece of driftwood that looked like a hen once, brought it home and wife hated it. She tolerated it because it was driftwood and her friends liked it.

This was like 10 years ago, dunno what happened to it now.

>>1210505
drifted into the bonfire

>>1210117
So you mean procreate on a freshly mowed lawn, or procreate on a running lawn mower? Can you do this with condom/pill or is pregnancy part of the fetish?

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>>1210329

>get hired by some single mother to fix shit around her house
>really don't like taking on small jobs but I come on very short notice cause I'm nice like that
>she complains about the noise I'm making because she's trying to watch TV

>>1211279
so were you quieter?

>>1211297
He was while he stopped to add an extra zero to the bill.

>>1211300
if you were making more noise that necessary, come on.

>>1211279
>>she complains about the noise I'm making because she's trying to watch TV

So we're prepping a house to be painted, but the housewife cannot decide which of the fucking seven samples we put on the front (at her request) is the best shade of yellow. They were all pretty much the same, but nobody ever believes us when we tell them that we could use any one of the seven and they'd never know which one unless they compared it to the swatch.

Anyway, she stalls for at least two days while we drag on caulking microscopic cracks to give her time. At one point, she comes around to the back yard and asks us to turn off the radio "so I can concentrate".

On the third day she gives up and calls her mom. Mom comes over, walks up to the house, says "number 3", and gets back in her car and leaves. That was the whole conversation. Amazing that such an imbecile could have a normal mom.

>>1211297
>>1211301
the only noise I made was from drilling into a wall to hang up shelves, frames and curtains.
>>1211300
in all seriousness though, I usually charge people who don't look like they have alot of money less but I charged her in full

>>1211319
so drill quieter (slower) or use a screw driver.

>>1211340
shit I should have spun the drill like I was trying to make a fire in the wilderness and charged by the hour

>>1211340
Tits or GTFO

>>1210148
>everyone should know all the distress i go through everyday and tend to me.

>>1211318
I can see how one could grow into an indecisive idiot with a parent who "just knows the best", arbitrarily (and accuse daughter of making wrong choices whenever she makes one).

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>>1211348

>>1210561
Pregnancy is ALWAYS part of the fetish.

>>1209939
At least admit it's a guy thing, and you just don't feel like it. Don't act like there's a real reason to put shit off. A good wife will have a tiny bit of respect for your honesty. Sounds crazy, but try it.

>>1211360

That was my dad. Luckily for me, recently, while I have issues making a decision on buying nonsense shit, like a videogame can take me months, I have no issues making decisions that matter at work or in emergencies. The actually call me the "firefighter" at work as I do pretty well with problem solving. Outside of work if I don't keep the momentum going I can end up totally procrastinating everything in my life.

When it comes to my decision now, if anyone does more than make a suggestion or, dare them, criticises it I have a hard time wrangling my rage.

I used to be real fucking bad with decisions as a teenager though. My dad use to scream at me if I followed his instructions perfectly but the outcome wasn't what he imagined. Which was often because he is a ridiculous asshole. That probably did affect my work now that I look back at it because co-workers used to get pissed at me trying to decide where to simply place a sheet of paper that did not really matter in the slightest. I used to almost spin in circles.

I had written up about 10 different greentexts but I keep rambling so imma leave it there.

>>1211371
would smash

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>>1209627
>"can you just look at it?"

This line right here.

>A/C breaks, compressor fucked
>landlord needs to deal with insurance company
>pick up cheapo window unit in meantime
>tell roommates not to open window or it will fall out and break
>not even one day later, female roommate opens window
>it falls out
>it breaks
>"anon, it's hoooooooot"
>"why can't you just fix it?"

reee

>>1210117
We need more details. And possibly pics/vids.

>>1211356
>wife doesn't know the distress her husband go through everyday

fuck off roastie

>>1211904
what would even compel someone to open a window with an A/C in it

>>1211904
Ah, this reminds me of a story of my father and the rental house he was the landlord of, even though it was my mother that wanted the house, thinking it was a good investment.

My father advised against it, time and time again, but she still went through with everything and bought the house.

Anyway, he and I worked together to install a heavy duty air conditioning unit in the living room window. It was a very large, old A/C unit, and we built a wooden frame for it that was mounted on the outside of the house. When her stay there was up, the tennant, we discovered that somehow, the frame was completely missing from the house, and so was the a/c unit. We were both quite... not dumbfounded. But... Just how and why did they remove the frame that was screwed into the side of the house with 3 1/2 in torx screws? She left without a trace, and we don't know where she went, or what happened to any of the appliances we had with the house. Tennants in rental properties invariably suck, no matter how nice of a landlord you try to be, it seems.

>>1210148
So talk to her, m8.

>Ex doesn't care for my 3D printer
>Gets annoyed by the (barely audible) noise
>'Stops' it in the middle of the night
>Actually pauses the print
>Printer is set to keep heater running during a pause sits there, all night, cooking filament
>Breaks up with me because I spent an hour rebuilding the hot end instead of watching some awful romcom with her

I should have ended it when she left my desiccating box open, ruining 5kg of nylon filament which then resulted in a ruined oven because, while I was drying it out, she turned it up to bake a chicken breast. Apparently, it was my fault she ended up with chicken nylon bleu.

>>1212647
>be female
>notice top of A/C unit looks dusty
>Open window to clean
>A/C breaks
>not your fault, he shouldn't have left it dusty

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>>1214373
>chicken nylon bleu.

Thank for this thread brehs.

I have no siblings but a competent mother.

When my gf disagrees with me about shit I think I'm in the wrong, despite her logic being incomprehensible.


Good to know most women are fucking useless.

>>1214373
Sounds like she has a mental disorder.
Don't put your dick in crazy, etc.

>>1210505
>that looked like a hen
Shoulda held onto that bud

>>1214624
>Don't put your dick in crazy, etc

he got to put his dick in and she left, so it's all good

Am I the only one forced to explain why decent tools are required to do decent work? Over and over again?

>>1214624
>Don't put your dick in crazy

the only way to do that is to gay or not have sex at all, because all women are crazy.

>>1214359
That's why you rent commerical buildings. Longer lease terms, you are only responsible for the wfalls and roof, the law favors commerical landlords more than residental. Eviction is FAR easier because it isn't someones residence. However, permits, inspections and things like are generally more expensive for no other reason than a commerical buildings owner must have lots of money.

>>1214732
just hide the receipts

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>>1214373
>>1214540

>>1216294
Good point.

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>be me
>renovating rental property
>girlfriends parents are in town from out of state
>"my mom wants to meet you and see what you're up to"

NO

>200%mad.png
>her mom shows up with a truck full of tools, straps on a tool belt with nicer shit than mine and walks in with a case of beer

Pic related

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>>1216300

>>1209529
They don't actually hate women, and it's not a problem
That's why this is a joke thread you literal autist

>>1209508

>work two jobs
>one in a factory, one in a hospital
>skin my hand or get a decently deep gash in my arm, put a piece of tape over it and continue working as long as the bleeding stops
>get booboo level cut at hospital
>omg anon you need to report that injury, you apply for workman's comp, what if it gets infected and falls off

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>>1209508
want to start a garden on my property.
>hey can I borrow your tractor I want to make beds ?
>sure just use the showel
spend 2h totaly wasted with that tractor
girlfriend comes over and asked how I made this
drunk obv.
>YOU COULD GET INJURED etc
but srly I love her bantz

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>>1216333

>>1216321
Gee I wonder why a hospital would want you to cover open cuts with a proper occlusive dressing. Couldn't possibly be for infection control purposes.

>>1214732
But you are wrong, Anon.

>>1216321
hope i never end up at your hosptial

>>1216296
What did he mean by this?

>>1216321
You are the guy who hides the zombie bite and fucks everyone over in the apocalypse. That being said hospital boo-boos infected with MRSA or any number of antibiotic resistant super bug are neat

>>1210415
>being autistic
huh

>>1216300
The first time I met my wife's mother, she rolled out form under a pickup and asked me if I owned a pickle fork.

>>1217538
Sort of one of those things you don't have 90% of the time, but you sure need it when it comes to ball joints
Mother in law is a dentist... thank god she lives in another country

>injured self with a drill once
>early on when dating wife-to-be, she saw it happen
>8 years later, wife behaves as if drills are super deadly and I'm going to hurt myself every time I use one

She's a peach though. She likes to learn stuff from me, but she knows when she's out of her depth and lets me go. She trusts me with fire, electricity, chemicals, and all sorts of whirling death machines. But the handheld drill, man, it's a killing machine. Sometimes she'll stand there and watch me use it, just in case.

>>1217555
She sounds lovely, post a pic.

>>1216366
>>1216823
>>1216833

I work in the basement two floors from the closest patient you autistic nerds. I'm talking about scratches that don't even bleed while working on stuff that never gets close to any sick people. My floor is badge access only and my job is to work on panel boards and other electrical nonsense on my floor. The point was that the women that do our clerical work see this shit and freak out because they never do any physical work and have never experienced so much as a callous before.

>>1214737
Queer here,
We're not any less crazy. Men are just as irrational, just about other stuff.

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A bit off topic but some people here are married, how is marriage like? I'm not going to get married soon but I'm really worried about getting married and having to deal with a divorce. I don't want to loss half my stuff.

>>1217762
Don't worry, you'll only lose a quarter of your stuff in the divorce. She'll throw half out when you get married

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>>1217768
Too true for comfort

>>1217762
Marriage is retarded.
Get a long term relationship and never marry.
Is someone pushes for marriage it's because they want an advantage.

>>1216321
>getting injured at work and not reporting it immediately
You're fucking retarded.

>>1211356

If your partner doesn't know the shit you go through on the daily, that means she's really not your partner. My wife knows on Friday's we're always short two people, so I have to bust my ass even more. Come home to always find icy hot, cold six pack, her waiting to suck my cock, cause we talk, she knows the shit I have to go through. Sorry if your partner is that boring to hold a conversation with you, doesn't care enough to know how your normal day goes.

>>1217762
Ignore 98% of what you hear about it on 4chan.
This isn't exactly a haven for normal people.

>>1217646
Yeah, we get it, you're a man. Seriously though, you're below the pay grade to be ignoring people like that. Swallow your pride and acknowledge the fact that you're a blue collar worker.

>>1217966
Check your local laws. You might have into a common law marriage, and she might be able to get whatever a real married wife would get from you if she really wanted.

>>1218123
I'm safe in my state, but common law marriage is not something I considered

My gf wanted to get married, and it went like this
>I want to get married
>why?
>why not?
>what would it change between us, other than imposing legal penalties on me for us splitting up?
>....I dunno

3 years later, and we just bought a house together. Marriage is stupid.

>>1209877
I don't like people who are against the advancement of humanity.

>wait for her to leave so I can wash muh microfibers in the washer in peace
>halfway through the first load the car pulls up and even before she opens the door she already fucking knows.

How the fuck do they do it?

>>1210399
>Brand new counter tops, new floors, french doors, shutters, lighting fixtures.

>>1211899
>half a day of trying to figure something out
>"have you tried [something stupid and completely unrelated]"

>>1209875
They never show the guy the paper.

Especially if it's s written in blue marker on a piece of paper you tore off a titty calender from current year -2

>>1217762
Don't marry , unless there's a DISTINCT and NECESSARY reason to it.
And i'm talking about an actual down to the law mariage.
We decided to have a *fake* marriage just as an excuse for the big ass cake.

>>1209875
you look it up on your phone and screen shot the product page from the stores website then send it to them.

Raised success rate to nearly 70%

>>1217762
Marriage is fantastic
Having a child was the most amazing thing in my life. I didn't get started until my thirties and I feel betrayed by my society and parents because no one told me how great it was. It was always hurrr breeders dumb baby poop on the walls phbflflft. It's not that bad

Sometimes I really wish I could fuck a rando though. But sometimes that also seems like a nightmare.

Is she a feminist? Is she woke to men's rights issues? Is she grateful? Is she going to stay home and take care of the kid for 6-8 years (unless she makes 100$/hour or more then you can stay home)

>>1218312
>Having a child was the most amazing thing in my life.
>It was always hurrr breeders dumb baby poop on the walls phbflflft.
it's like 50/50
>fantastic
>It's not that bad
excellent summary

>>1210411
I was looking at some trendy home design thing but instead of driftwood it had shitty oars that are probably 10 years old just lying around in random spots