I'm looking to make a barrier to keep a baby from accessing

>>1126420
High voltage electricity.

>>1126420
too late, clapton

>>1126420
what about barbed wire?

>>1126420
collar and leash

>>1126420
a turret.

>>1126420
How about proper parenting? You know, actually keeping track of the baby the entire fucking time.

>>1126420
Just put a chain around its neck and
Attach it to the shower cutrian rod. I'm sure the toilet will pay better attention to it than you are.

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>>1126420
>baby barrier
>cat spikes

>>1126420
I have experience with that OP. In fact, from my experience I started that joke: What's red and white and can't turn around in the corner?

Tl;dr Don't use a spear through your baby to keep it in place.

>>1126473
>>1126477
You've never dealt with kids in your life.

>>1126546
kid =/= baby

OP said "BABY". You never let a baby out of your sight. EVER. Unless you don't mind your gene line terminating.

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>>1126420
Sorry anon if you want advise on how to be a negligent parent you will have to look elsewhere.
"parental neglect. n. a crime consisting of acts or omissions of a parent (including a step-parent, adoptive parent, or someone who, in practical terms, serves in a parent's role) which endangers the health and life of a child or fails to take steps necessary to the proper raising of a child."

>>1126544
These aren't very sharp spikes, though.

>>1126420
landmines.

>>1126432
This made me laugh.

>>1126420
flame fence, dig a trench and fill with gasoline

>>1126420
Just do a parallelogram fence attached to the other side of the door frame. I installed four of them when our son was born. You unlock it, lift up the one end, pivot it out, step through, close it behind you.

He's ten years old now and they were so handy that we still have two redesigned versions of them installed to keep the dogs out of two of the rooms when we want

>>1126420
Get a damn baby gate what the hell man

make a hamster wheel but baby sized
put some bubble squooshies on it so it can float

>>1126949
Pic?

>>1126563
Did the mother ever get in trouble for the whole Harambe incident? You must be a colossal fuckup to manage to traumatize your kid, kill a endangered animal, and start a shitty meme all at the same time.

I don't get what people are so upset about. It's not like the baby will get injured by the spikes. At most it will get a small prick on its hand or something and then will avoid the spikes.

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>>1126420
just use some planks with a shitload of nails

Take apart an old bug zapper and run two wire from the electrodes along the top rail attached to insulators. A couple good snaps on that fat lil hand will send a fast direct message to your drooling retarded offspring

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>>1127098
Not him but this is the best I could find. Attach the ends of the bars via pins and you'll be able to pivot it out.

Otherwise I think he means a pinned lattice; think garden trellis, but front and back bars pinned in the middle of the bars instead of screwed together. . That way you can pull it back and forth.

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>>1128406
And a trellis to show you what I'm talking about. Put a catch/lock on both ends so you can keep it shut firmly, and keep it out of the way when you need to.