So, I've been looking at houses lately and may start the

>>1114234
You hire an inspector to look with you...

>>1114237
if i can spot deal breakers before i pay a few hundred for an inspector, that'd be neat

>>1114234
I remember from a house-flipping show that pink gummy substances on the walls or ceiling usually means the house was used as a meth lab.

>>1114241
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hr7XMcEffkw

Skip to 3:10

If there are air freshners it could mean the house is naturally stinky and they are trying to hid it. The last owner had pets who urinated all under the couches and we didn't notice until they moved everything out. Had to rip out all that piss carpet and install wood floors. Hot water heater was old af and when it ran it sounded like rocks where bubbling around inside the tank so we had to replace it. Run the hot water on a faucet closest to the tank and listen for it to bubble as the water lowers. If you hear rocks it means calcium deposits are inside and it's time to replace. If the house is two story look at the ceiling under where the bathrooms are. If the ceiling is stained it could mean a leaky pipe. Both of ours leaked and I didn't notice until after. Is there a deck outside? Is there mud on the edge or around a suppport pole for the deck, or possibly mud up on the house? Means the topography is causing rain to pool in that area and all the muddy rain water is getting on the support beam or whatever. The yard will need to have adjustments made to let the drainage flow elsewhwere. Any trees causing too much shade and not letting the grass grow in any areas? There goes your yard washing away when it rains. Got an oak tree? Have fun battling the damn runners. Gotta remove the tree if you want them gone. Pressure wash the driveway AND sidewalk, it gives your house curb appeal. How's that AC working? Better hope she's good in the summer. Heater ok? Better hope so. FYI change your filter each month on the first of the month. Squeaky floors? Gonna need to get that kit to pull them down tighter. My house was missing the toilet paper/towel holders and I didn't even notice until it was too late. Dryer vent in good shape? Don't want mice getting in. Check around the house for any mice holes or anything. Check toilets make sure they flush ok, one of ours didn't and I didn't notice until it was too late. Check all the windows for cracks

>>1114240
If you are getting a mortgage it's a fee built into the mortgage costs...

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>>1114244
Oh my god! How ever did you survive that tragedy? I hope you got counseling.

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>>1114234
Bring one of these.
Check every outlet, light-switch and water faucet.
I swear my house was wired by a pack of monkeys. I didn't know until after I moved in that 14 light-switches and 3 outlets didn't work.

What's the light switch situation? Is there only one light switch for the living room, and it's by the door and not a second one in the kitchen so that when you leave the kitchen you can turn the living room light on or off?

Make sure the doors have a good seal on the sides AND bottom so the air/heat doesn't get out and earthworms don't come inside when it rains. Where is the TV hook up located, is it in a funky corner where it makes no sense and would be a bitch to rewire? Then you're just going to have to put the TV where it makes sense and just use Netflix or Amazon fire stick and not have cable. Where are the outlets located? Will you be able to put your bed where you want it and still be able to plug your phone in by the nightstand? Or are the outlets really far away from where a nightstand would usually go? Are there's smoke detectors and CO2 detectors? If the house is gas place a CO2 detector by the stove, heater, hot water heater, etc. to see if there are any small leaks at the connection points. Check the backsides of doors to see if there are any holes in them from people closing them too hard and crashing into a door stopper. Obviously cracked tiles/walls are a sign of a bad foundation and the house shifting. Check the outside trim, even around the chimney. If any paint is missing that means wood is exposed to the elements. That would probably be gray wood and it could rot so make them repaint it. Check for areas that need touch up paint. Get them to touch it up or take a little of the cost of the house for someone else to do it

>>1114246
I bought a lemon and found out the hard way. Everything looked so good, or looked like it would have potential. But I didn't truly understand that when something has potential, it means it needs work. And having to work to fix stuff that you paid six figures for FUCKING sucks. But it's all been a good learning experience I guess. I swear I should buy stock in Home Depot and Lowes.

>>1114257
How old was the house?

>>1114264
>>1114264
1986. Not knocking being a homeowner or anything, it also depends on if the last owner gave a shit or not. Just be realistic. I had retaining walls in the backyard made out of railroad tie wood and cockroaches liked to hide there so that had to go. There was a piece of shit shed that needed tearing out and I had to rebuild a new one. The bathroom cabinets inside are made of some funky particleboard that flakes everywhere. So when I store toilet paper under the sink I have to brush off the flakes every time I take it out. The sink faucets were cracking apart on the underside of the handles so in go new ones. I don't know man I could go on for days, I've put a shitload of money into this place. But it's half decent now and it feels good to accomplish stuff. If trees are too close to the house raccoons can climb up them and they'll get on your roof and chew a hole in it. Happened to two of my neighbors. Or if lightning hits a tree it can fall on your house. Too much to list but there is a start. Best of luck bud

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>>1114248
Thanks for the advice. Hardware store was still open.

>>1114274
Yikes, well sorry about all that. I'll make sure to carefully inspect everything. Have you made many improvements?

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>>1114275
Return that and go buy this kit from Lowes. Multi-meter, non-contact AC voltage detector and receptacle tester for $30. You'll especially need the non contact detector so you don't fry yourself when doing repairs

>>1114275
Scratch your dogs chin for me.

>>1114275
>>1114280
Fondle his balls for me

>>1114248
>>1114248
Question about this: can I plug it into a live outlet or will it fry it?

i always check the year first. Then when i walk through i look at the obvious plumbing to see if its copper or galvanized.

Check out the ridge vent and any other possible venting for the attic/crawlspace.

check the grading of the yard around the house to make sure water doesn't flow towards the house.

>>1114313
>Check out the ridge vent and any other possible venting for the attic/crawlspace.

Just looking for water issues? Water is my main concern, I live on the coast.

>>1114274
I'm guessing you should have stayed a city dweller...

If the previous owner was named either Kemp or Obama, walk away.

>>1114325
It is possible to maintain your house in the country, dumbshit.
>>1114329
Drown yourself.

>>1114334
So you were a city dweller. Can always spot them.
So how many HPS lights did you put around your house?

>>1114234

Something that would make me think twice is if there have been heavy smokers inside, dont underestimate how difficult it is to remove the smell.

If you plan to install extra services then note the ground floor type, wood floors make for easier pipe runs ect. But can be more of a pain if you wanted to tile

>>1114244
This list is pretty run of the mill really.
Even if the house you're buying is brand new, some stuff will be screwed up. If it's not new, more will be screwed up. Look for the expensive stuff, not a litany of small pissant things. And yes, everything in that list was pissant.

>>1114309
It's made to test if an outlet is live/wired right so the circuit will need to be on

>>1114248
Far more important — although I don't know how expensive they are — get one of those moisture detection tools and check wooden window frames and sills. Or basically anything wooden while you're at it.

>>1114255
>Make sure the doors have a good seal on the sides AND bottom so the air/heat doesn't get out and earthworms don't come inside when it rains.
>Where is the TV hook up located, is it in a funky corner where it makes no sense and would be a bitch to rewire? Then you're just going to have to put the TV where it makes sense and just use Netflix or Amazon fire stick and not have cable.
>Where are the outlets located? Will you be able to put your bed where you want it and still be able to plug your phone in by the nightstand? Or are the outlets really far away from where a nightstand would usually go?
>Are there's smoke detectors and CO2 detectors? If the house is gas place a CO2 detector by the stove, heater, hot water heater, etc. to see if there are any small leaks at the connection points.
> Check the backsides of doors to see if there are any holes in them from people closing them too hard and crashing into a door stopper.

Some of these are things that a real /diy/er would use to lower the price of the house and then fix himself. The real worry with houses is the big stuff.

Like these:
>Obviously cracked tiles/walls are a sign of a bad foundation and the house shifting. Check the outside trim, even around the chimney. If any paint is missing that means wood is exposed to the elements. That would probably be gray wood and it could rot so make them repaint it. Check for areas that need touch up paint. Get them to touch it up or take a little of the cost of the house for someone else to do it

>>1114274
>I had retaining walls in the backyard made out of railroad tie wood and cockroaches liked to hide there so that had to go.
This sounds like sort of a pussy move.

Tree stuff is so true though. Just don't ever plant trees up against a house, people. The leaves in the gutters is only the start of the problems.

>>1114234
And one BIG thing so many people just don't do:

Walk around on the grass when you view a house; don't just look at the lawn or walk up the pathway. You're looking to feel soft or soggy ground. If it's really a problem you'll notice it straight away. You can then have someone look into it if you like the property, but it's usually best to just walk away.

>>1116456
and know how to use it. They also trigger off any metal (like flashing).

>>1116458
>>Obviously cracked tiles/walls are a sign of a bad foundation and the house shifting.
Every house shifts. Find a house without any settling cracks, and I'll show you a house you just have to wait a little longer.

>>1114245

No it isn't, you pay an inspector to look at the house after making an offer and putting it under contract. I wrote a check to our inspector the day he came over and we did the walk through.

>>1114682
Are you mentally handicapped?
You're implying that buying house in a rural area should come with the assumption that it's falling apart. I grew up where there's ~5 people in a square mile, but because we weren't dumb rednecks, the homes there were well taken care of.
>>1116588
Depends on where you are.

I bought a 285,000 fixer upper in a neighborhood of 350-400k houses.

Buy the cheapest house in the most expensive area you can afford. Don't buy the most expensive house because you're buying the top of the market and it will be harder to sell.

I swallowed buying ours at the price because it had the potential to be improved in a big way without hiring contractors. I've re-finished wood floors, installed tile, fixed drywall, re-wired sections of the house and I have a lot more plans in the works over the next 5 years.

Buy a house where you have easy access to all the systems if you plan on doing work, electrical, plumbing, etc. Ours has a huge full crawl space and attic so I can easily get to every section of the house.

>>1114234

missing the blindingly obvious.

location, check what the upper value of the street/neighborhood is, and make sure your neighbors don't have obvious signs of being scum.

being in a bad area can effect housing enough that a "bargain" can actually have fuck all potential value wise and living next to idiots can ruin your life.

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OP here, got under contract on a fixer upper. Guess I'll be spending a lot of time here if the inspection goes well. Thanks for the assistance bros.

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>>1114234

Real estate agent here.

Each property listed on the MLS should have a disclosure form unless it's a foreclosure or transfer due to loan default, etc etc. Sometimes a seller can claim "no representation" on everything, but don't worry, you can still get an inspection done during due diligence (but you might lose the due diligence)

>>1116869

...might lose the due diligence if you find out some things and back out of the contract.

Sorry got overzealous there