is there anything i can do to unfuck the exterior looks of this

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The only thing I can think of that suits overhangs like that is Tudor style wood/plaster work. Even as a façade it's probably expensive as dicks. Could really look aces though, especially with the brick. Like a proper renaissance-era London home.

>>1103778
that's actually what i was thinking, covering the second story with stucco and having tudor style accents. the cost wouldn't be that bad, more than siding, but not prohibitively expensive.

the major problem i saw is the extra load from the stucco. 4' x 10' sheets weight 100lbs, and i'd need about 10 of them per side so i'm talking about 1000lbs of extra load that is overhanging 2'. i just feel like that would cause deflection sooner or later.

the alternative i guess is to use vertical siding panels and alternate every 4th or 5th panel for a dark brown colored one, but it wouldn't look as nice.

Why would you? It's such a nice building, whatever coverup you do it'll loose its dying dreams flair

>>1103789
Your structure is built with lightweight in mind, don't niggerengineer it and you will be fine, i.e. keep it to paint or light weight cladding.

That said, 1000lbs should be fine. The problem I see is how you actually put it on and make it stay.

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>>1103858
>dying dreams flair
wat

>>1103871
it would be ~1000lbs per side. the front and back would be less since the building is rectangular, and also the front and back are flush with the original brick first floor, so at least in the front and back supporting that weight wouldn't be as big of a problem.

also, i think the pic in the OP makes it look nicer due to the angled shot and the greenery from neighbors plot. this is what it looks like head on.

>>1103876
Your building is overshadowed so anything you do will look rather shit, I would just paint the whole thing white to brighten it, also plant some random flowers below it to add colours.

It's not worth doing much more than that.

>>1103878
wouldn't painting it all white make the awkward top larger than bottom silhouette even more apparent?

the flowers are definitely a good idea.

>>1103882
That is not awkward, also, it already is apparent, and it will always be, and there is no way you can make it otherwise.

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>>1103778 here

I think it could look really cool but you'd really have to use a keen designer's eye to make sure it's not corny or weak looking. I think with some heavy accents (liek bigger window sills, for example) it can look pretty cool. Maybe even paint those white bricks a darker color to match the shingles or something too.

>>1103878
>>1103897

no no no. you never paint the bricks. never.

>>1103905
Why not?

>>1103906
seals in any moisture. the mortars alkalinity will make it peel and look like shit really quick. once you paint brick, its a point of no return.

>>1103905
I was just referring to the dozen or so little white ones but it was just an off-the-cuff remark, it's a not consequential at all either way.

>>1103906
bricks are stone not stucco.
>>1103907
its cheap and tacky. besides this house doesnt need all that. you could get the same affect by painting a dark green on the siding with dark brown accents on the overhang. new windows would be easy too.

build a lil garage/carport where your driveway is itll take the focus off it

>>1103776

you COULD start by posting a bigger fucking image where we can see some larger detail and see whats actually going on in this pic

>>1103923
i don't think that's doable with the required easements.

>>1103957
this is the best i can do with google maps.

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>>1103959

>>1103776
I actually think your weird fupa house looks kinda cool. If you wanted to hide the mini cantilever you could hang plants from the overhang, let ivy grow up, make decorative faux-gussets, or paint the top a red-brick color. But I like it and think you should emphasize it. Anything to eliminate or hide those gutters and external electrical conduits would help a lot.

Paint would do wonders, even if it's just an interesting color on the (currently white) trim. You're lucky that house would work with funky colors or a real modern vibe.

Landscape it. Those little sections of lawn are kinda shitty and useless. Make a victory garden, or some kind of hangout spot, pant native plants (they're lower maintenance and bring interesting birds/butterflies), build a nice fence, etc.

If you wanted a big project you could build a deck/shed/garage thing over the driveway. You could also rip up the part of driveway for more lawn or patio space. Also looks like you have a section of south-facing roof: consider solar?

>>1103959

google maps... dont you own a goddamn camera? I mean shit even your phone has a camera... or are you one of those poorfags using a flip phone?

>>1103961
i'm not entirely sure how i feel about the cantilevers. on one hand, i think the house could look nice with a tudor style facelift or at least a new facade, but on the other hand as is i think it looks goofy.

landscaping will definitely be a must. the driveway actually leads to a garage in the backyard, and the house has a ~200 sq ft balcony in the back and a ~300 sq ft deck. i actually like the idea of having an extension of some sort on the side, but due to the easements i don't think i could extend it all the way to the fence line, and if that's not the case the driveway would then be too narrow to use making the garage in the back unusable.

use thick pieces of timber like pylons at the corners?

then you can fill the gaps with something if you want

>>1103965
i'm not at the house, and even if i were i'm not sure what other detail i could show you unless you want a picture from the back.

>>1103957
>>1103965
what the fuck man your level of apparent mad about the pics is fucking retarded.

>>1103971

you missed the point of all this... posting a shitty ass tiny pic instead of a bigger one to get a better idea of whats going on in the pic as you described

tard

>>1103970
on another note

if the concrete is part of the driveway and too narrow you could try adding a car shelter or something from the side of the house to try and hide the overhang

>>1103960
God I hate when the meter is right on the front of the house like that. My house has it too. I even offered to have a new pole put up on my property so I could put it on the side but "IT HAS TO BE AT THE SPOT CLOSEST TO THE POLE!"

>>1103970
yeah i considered that. i figured i could have plants hang from them.

>>1103977
the thing is that i don't think i would be allowed to have it extend all the way to the fence line, so then the uprights would have to be somewhere in the middle of the driveway blocking it.

>>1103980
if you add pylons it may close off the space enough and give the impression it looks flushed

or you could even add lattice and/or some climbing plants or even just put some plants in a planter box or pots to grow there (maybe even grow herbs or some tomatoes or something idk)

the car shelter may be a bit tough without supports on the opposite sides unless you can build something light weight and have it hanging from the side of the house, but then you have to consider it may get damaged in a storm or if you get really strong winds/rain where you live

>>1103776
House looks like a skull wearing a Chinese hat
Paint the place black and put red lights in the windows
Build a large Pirate Galleon in a pond in the front yard, Skull Island from Peter Pan, you can get a crocodile as a pet and hang out in front pretending to be Captain Hook
Good luck
Pretty cool

>>1103905


Wrong.

I'm a contractor and there are some scenarios where painted brick looks better than normal brick. And it's usually when the house was built in a shit way and painting the brick is a fix.

>>1103776
Cantilever car port or
Plane off 2 feet of the upper storey
If it matches the rest of the houses in the area then do nothing

>>1104075
i thought about it, but the inside is too nice to justify fucking with the structure itself just to improve outside looks.

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paint the hole thing black

it would be cool to have a wrap around balcony.

>>1104198
Hideous.

>>1103978
Bribing people works in first world countries too.

>>1103980
>the thing is that i don't think i would be allowed to have it extend all the way to the fence line, so then the uprights would have to be somewhere in the middle of the driveway blocking it.

Call an engineeer. You might be about to build one with a free standing side for much less then you think. Nothing touching the ground on your fence side.

>>1103776
Cover it up with ivy. It's shadowed and near trees anyway, no?

>>1103789
Check out Exterior Insulation and Finish System. That would remedy the weight issue.

>>1103897
>10,000 hours in MSPaint

>>1107698
almost but not quite

>>1103776
hey op, it might be ugly, but remember, you live on the inside.

2 layers of tarpaper.
Beadboard foam secured with screws with a 2 inch washer nomore then 12" between screws. Sand it smoothish. Get some vynil siding in 5" widths. Oh first put the sticky stucco finish over the foam. Then it'll look tudor like. And hardly weight anything.
Im from the USA, not sure what its called. I called it fake stucco. DId it for a couple months when I was 20.

Add cornice brackets around the house to dress up the transition from brick to overhang instead of hiding it, mak it a feature. Or make some latice panels and mount vertically in front of house and begin training climbing plants/ivy to grow up and hide part of the brickwork.