Has being /diy/ ever gotten you laid? Mandatory sex from the

File: oh wait.jpg (57KB, 291x372px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 291x372px

>>1071826
>Mandatory sex from the wife does not count.

At least she likes me a bit more when I fix stuff

Yes.
> worked for dominoes. Fixed pizza oven on the sly one night. HOT South african (woman naturally) manager gave it up for that.

> fixed co-workers ac one arvo. She put ac to work for me

> fixed her car a while later. Ac used again

Basically i could go on. If you fix their sink, they fix yours

>>1071827

Has she ever initiated sex because you diy-ed something around the house?

File: bike wont start.jpg (97KB, 499x699px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 499x699px

>>1071829
Yeah, its better when we fix stuff together though, she likes learning things. Except that one time with the clogged mysteries of the sink S-bend, that just initiated vomiting.

>>1071826
Nope, but it did get me jokingly invited to make a foursome.

>>1071826
>Mandatory sex from the wife does not count.
Damn

File: my waifu.jpg (88KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 1024x768px

>>1071826
with a woman? No. But i manage to diy it.

Kinda? It was a mix between owning a car and DIY. In college I took a girl to walmart to pick up a desk she bought. We got back and I put it together. We went back to my place, watched a movie, and fucked.

I dated her for 3 years after that. I really wish none of it ever happened.

>>1071893
>I really wish none of it ever happened
Was the desk that bad?

>>1071897
you could say that the desk liked to hold other people's books and materials as well.

>>1071902
I hope you replaced it with a better desk, then.

>>1071897
It was a walmart desk, what do you expect?

>>1071902
Not my post, but yes, our relationship ended when she started fucking some other guy.

She was also a bitch.

>>1071904
It took 5 years of shitty dates and shitty sex with girls from dating sites, but yeah, I'm with a good girl now.

>>1071897
It used pocket holes.

>>1071826
>Mandatory sex from the wife does not count
Hmm. Well in that case I actually helped my then-future-wife fix her washing machine in return for a date. That was 8 years ago so I'd say it worked.

>>1071826
i think so, but i'm pretty sure the few times it happened the fix it job was just an excuse to get me over to her place.

>>1071826
It's easy to use it to your advantage so long as you just know, and can somehow easily display, a /diy/ craft that you're actually good at (ex. checkout these pictures on my facebook of yada-yada I made). There was one time a girl asked if I could fix her car stereo because she'd seen my multimeter in one of my facebook pics and when I showed up at her place I literally pulled it out of the dash, pointed at some wires, went "nope look at that this all needs to be replaced", then we had sex.

I guess it also depends on which way you tip the scales as far as the handy-mascu-craftsman versus autist...that's probably a huge part of it.

if you're constantly told you're like a big brother, than I've got some bad news for you.

>>1071826
Yes. Especially if you're in the current generation of young people because so many of us, especially early 20s women, are helpless as shit and find the slightest act of fixing shit really impressive. I fixed a chick's sink (some really mundane leak in the faucet, basically just hand tightened a collar) when I woke up to piss after a ONS, and when I came back to bed she straight up said, completely unironically, "did you just fix my sink? that's so fucking hot" and we boned again.

There are also a lot of girls who find, I don't know exactly how to say this, fatherly attributes attractive? Like they're not baby crazy per se but things that make you seem like you'd be a good dad get them wet.

Of course, it doesn't work if you go too far into it and become a leatherman holster reddit IT guy.

No, I'm still a kissless virgin unfortunately. Besides most of the favors I do are for men.

>>1071874
What do you use that for?

>>1072602
>it doesn't work if you go too far into it
Is this why non of my tesla coils and singing flyback transformers have got me laid? I always show them off when people come over but I think might be too weird for most people.

>>1072628
But I think it*

File: 12356676_1179415932085943_7484162156752010711_o.jpg (182KB, 1080x1350px) Image search: [Google]

182KB, 1080x1350px

>>1072594
What if...
She knew she wanted to fuck you before she invited you to work on her car...

Changes the whole equation.

>>1072628
Because electricity is the school chess club or matheletes of the diy community, in womens' minds.
Bitches wanna see you chop some fucking wood, or jack up and roll under a car, or get up to your fucking forearms in grease and metal shavings.

>>1072755
I work in an office of 98% women and have fucked in an empty office on more than one occasion. Pick of the litter kind of place. I promise you, it gets a certain kind of attention from some of them that wouldn't otherwise take notice of me when I'm the dude standing on desks checking lightbulbs and readjusting the window alignment and such to make a lady's day better. Shit isn't even my job, I'm an accountant. Think about that.

File: DIY-Adjustable-Standing-Desk.jpg (44KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 500x375px

>>1072758
Also computer stands. Pic related is from Google, but I'll be goddamned if I haven't made a hundred of them by now.

>>1071826
diy will rarely get you laid. I say this as a hardcore DIYer. Fixing stuff is beta as hell.

DIY cause you love it, not because it's going to get you laid.

>>1071826
>Mandatory sex from the wife does not count.

Screw OP lets have those too.

>>1071839
wow a cuck

>mandatory sex from wife

Someones never been married.

>>1072934
Exactly - who has sex with their wife anyway?

>>1071826
oh god yes. Especially in theater. (The only straight guy in a theater troupe? WELL GUESS WHAT...)

and wife sex is not mandatory. That shit will get your ass divorced.

>>1071826
>be me, med school, about 15 years ago
>co-ed dorm
>girl I knew asks me to fix her phone

complicated , basically I had to use some thin nose pliers to bend a needle in a certain way to pull a button to make it usable)

>one thing led to another, we became fuck buddies for about 6 months
>6 months while I was trying to woo another girl (not really interested in me)
>6 months while another guy was trying to woo her

>be me, present day
>every time I fix something around the house, my wife either complains that I make to much noise or too big of a mess or spend too much
>sex is good though

>>1072934
>>1072937
When does it end anyway lads? About to be hitched soon.

>>1073017
As soon as you get married.
No but seriously why the fuck would you do that

>>1071831
This picture makes me so mad because that EXACT FUCKING THING happened to me.

>>1073017
Ignore them. I've been married for 12 years and we bone at least 3 times a week on average.
They're just shit at relationships.

>>1073057
Either you're lying or you found a unicorn

>>1073057
My gf of 15 years basically has to hold me down and rape me... and she's actually hot. I'm just meh on sex.

What keeps you guys fucking?

>>1073062
Not that guy. But 'Bed Death' is 90% attributable to being too 'comfortable.'
Studies have proven this.
I hate to sound like a movie, but you have to keep things spicy. Not just sexually. Carry her inside from the car. Surprise her with shit. If you act like you've been married forever, you'll feel like you've been married forever.
t. Therapist

>>1073069
Don't be sedentary. I'm an adrenaline junkie and she's a runner.
I don't know if that's it, but our friends are the same from what she's told me.

>>1071874
Just the one tit? Times must be hard.

>>1072934
/thread

>>1073055
So get a boyfriend who is a better conversationalist then.

>>1073110
>that EXACT FUCKING THING happened to me
>Implying she wasn't the motorcycle

>>1073017
When you let it die mate.
Most women are emotionally high maintenance creatures that do need some stability in their life, even good AK47 tough soviet wife that can work when covered in mud and half frozen will need a cuddle after a long day battling through life.
>hence I'm up at 5am here
>soviet wife pregnant
>she is cranky and noisy
>which is good, silence is a very bad thing...

>>1071828
I think you may be good looking and that was the reason they fucked you, not your /diY/ skills.

File: MGTOW.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x2448px

>>1071826
>Mandatory sex from the wife does not count.


Wife sex is the lowest form of sex there is.
There is nothing more pathetic than some guy at work bragging about fucking his wife.

>>1073428
Says the handholdless wizard.

yep, and i still laugh about it. a while back i stopped to help out a couple pf ladies on the side of the road, they'd run their ute dry. they got some more fuel but it still would start. i offered to take a look but she wanted her "mechanic" friend to look at it, so i gave them a lift home and my number just in case. as it turned out the "mechanic" friend couldn't fix it so she gave me a call, she was pretty desperate because she couldn't afford to have a real mechanic fix it. long story short i got it sorted fairly quickly and ended up getting laid instead of paid and got some spare parts

>>1071826

Well, it does keep me from having a sexless marriage. That's got to count for something, right?

>>1073448
No, he's right, if a man has to brag about wifesex he's clearly not getting enough.

It's the married man who doesn't bring up sex that you know has it made. It's such a constant it isn't worth mentioning to him.

File: 1337782519362.jpg (37KB, 526x482px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 526x482px

>all these married men vehemently defending their once-a-week wifesex
OP hit a nerve I see

>>1071874
>ripped one of her boobs during the hot secks
you animal, you

>>1071826
>mandatory sex

Could somebody please tell my wife about this , I don't think she knows

>>1074093
Someone needs to Google stats on married sex versus single sex. We married guys tear it up in the times per week department. Sure, it's the same woman, probably over thirty, and she had a couple of kids, and we're both tired as hell... Shit. You know what? Fuck you anon. I was a happy married guy till your post.

>>1074216
They usually send the yearly memo around December, just in time for christmas.

>>1074437
Being diy handy is how I met my husbando.

I was working at an office, one of three guys. He was saying he needed his oil changed but was tired of paying good money to have it done. I was gobsmacked he had no idea how to change his own oil and offered to teach him.

At my place we replaced his oil, lubed up all the joints. Discovered the A-frame bushings on the driver side were shot to fuck. And that most of his break pads were shot. Replaced all those. Dropped it off for an alignment. It was already too late for the shop to do it that night so we left it there and went out for drinks. Back at my place was showing him my knife collection that I'd made, and all the furniture inside that I did as well. Showed him my platform bed and next thing I know he's pulling at my jeans and I got the single best blowjob I've ever had in my life.

Been together for 12 years now.

>>1074461
Not to rain on your parade but I think it's easier to impress guys with /diy/ skill because they can appreciate what goes into them in terms of knowledge and skill. To most women it seems trivial because they never tried fixing or making anything.

File: 1449612037197.png (26KB, 273x200px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 273x200px

>>1074464
So much this.
Those lucky fucking faggots have no fucking idea how good they have it.
Lucky fucking pricks.

>>1071826
LOL love the screw picture xD

Upvoted and saved! xD XDDD

>>1074600
kys

>>1074464
all that women are are holes they arent even people they dont think they just take dick and money

i wish i wasnt straight i wish i was a faggot jesus christ

>>1072937
My point exactly.

>>1073428
>Wife sex is the lowest form of sex there is
lower even than beating off really
after a few years of marriage, having a bit of time to yourself to look at porn becomes hot as fuck.

>>1073017
As soon as your first child shows up.

File: images.jpg (6KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 259x194px

>>1074731
dont let the babby in
for the love of god no babby :(

>>1074093
>>all these married men vehemently defending their once-a-week wifesex

Get old enough and that will be too much like work.

File: brooke-birmingham-bikini-photo.jpg (69KB, 371x600px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 371x600px

>>1074941
>mfw the wife wants sex but im not inna mood

>>1074994
wifebelly

>>1071826
>>>1071826
>diy will rarely get you laid. I say this as a hardcore DIYer. Fixing stuff is beta as hell.
>
>DIY cause you love it, not because it's going to get you laid.

Hell yeah. I fix shit 'cause I love to do it, and it gets me that sweet money. I get laid for other reasons.

>>1071826
>>>1074464
>all that women are are holes they arent even people they dont think they just take dick and money
>
>i wish i wasnt straight i wish i was a faggot jesus christ

Being half faggot is a great thing, man.

>>1074731
I know a guy with 6 of them so it didn't seem to stop them. The wife still looks girlish after all of them too.

>>1075234
gross

File: IMG_1860.png (20KB, 626x551px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 626x551px

>>1073407

>>1073448
Found the guy who gets shitty starfish duty sex once a month!

File: IMG_2036.gif (493KB, 250x186px) Image search: [Google]

493KB, 250x186px

>>1072602
>leatherman holster reddit IT guy

Fuck me if that isn't accurate

>>1075234
>with 6 of them
>6 childbirths
He better /diy/ his wife a new vagina.

>>1075948
Kegel, ye /fit/ 'em enough, yer cunt's tight as an arse hole.

>>1073590
That's how you get STD's

>>1071826
How is this still alive?

>>1076441
Even the shittiest thread can survive a week on /diy/. Hell, most of them manage to cling to life for a month or more.

File: OP is a DumbASS.jpg (24KB, 299x450px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 299x450px

>>1071874
You are a sick Bastard!!

inb4 6 axis sex robot

>>1076428
Thats why you wear rubber. Still worked out well i ended up making a profit

>>1073428
"Oh, Al"~

>>1071829

Not guy from above, but I'll chime in.

I have 22 month old twin boys. They have separate beds. They have recently taken to pushing them around but I don't really worry about it because I figure if they flip them on themselves they won't do it again. Anyways I went out for a cigar with a buddy one night and got home at 11 to find they had been pushing and flipping their beds since like 7:30.

So I went in there, turned on the lights, sat them down on the edge of their beds and made them watch me screw the beds into the wall.

Then I stood there as they tried to push the beds and were unable to. Naturally I encouraged them to push them to ensure they would be unable to. So they both started to cry and I turned out the lights and left.

Got a lot more sex than I was expecting that night for such an incredibly simple fix. Evidently my wife was so far at the end of her rope she had not even considered the option.

My wife gets upset easy when stuff breaks and she is so frustrated she can't fix it. Hell she jumped me in the kitchen because the coil to the stove came undone and just needed to be plugged back in. Pretty much helpless animu wife.

>>1071831

Thanks, just sent this picture to my wife.

>>1072775

Accountant here as well, I can vouch that these things do in fact happen.

>>1077587
>she jumped me in the kitchen
Let's be frank here, you would have gotten that sex regardless, this is why OP stated it doesn't count.

>>1071874
hot

>>1071874
SPOILER THIS

>>1071826
fixed a friends cupboard door (hinges snapped off). Paid me back in sweet and a bj

>>1077587
>I have 22 month old twin boys
Why the hell didn't you start using protection after the 10th one?

File: 1414527857182.gif (2MB, 304x254px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 304x254px

>>1077862
made me jej.

>>1077587
No one wants to hear about your retarded wife sex.
Go get some real pussy and get back to us.

File: 1444861416384.jpg (91KB, 535x508px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 535x508px

>>1071826
>Mandatory sex from the wife does not count
But it does, Anon. My wife loves it when I fix simple things around the house like a leaking tap or a dragging cabinet drawer, it makes her feel safe and secure, and in return she sometimes literally drags me by my dick to the bedroom and gives me a blowjob. We have sex like 6-7 times a week, but maybe it's only because we've been married for 3 years, though we've been together for 6.

>>1071826
>Has being /diy/ ever gotten you laid?

I'm a mobile car mechanic and a couple of times I've fixed some chicks car and we've ended up dating, I've only once had a chick offer to fuck me right after I fixed her car, I took her up on the offer and gave her mates rate on the repair, good day all round I'd say!

Nah fuck you OP, I nearly always nail the wife after some /diy/.

If you can't be handsome, might as well be handy.

>>1079450
>I've only once had a chick offer to fuck me right after I fixed her car
What, like, right there on the road?

>>1079487
I'm a mobile mechanic, I usually go to peoples homes and fix their car in the driveway or on the road outside their house, you are thinking of emergency mechanics, I do a lot of servicing jobs too, it's way cheaper to have me come out and service your car in your driveway than to take it all the way down the dealership, and unlike at the dealership, people can check the work has been done by watching me work, I got no problem with someone watching me while I work, you wouldn't believe some of the shit I've seen dealer mechanics try to pull.

File: 1341893121020.gif (186KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 200x200px

>All these people saying /diy/ got them laid

Being /diy/ didn't get you laid.
Being attractive and charismatic got you laid.

>>1072624
>not getting "wood" for your "post hole"

>>1079661
And paying, don't forget paying!

>>1072777
I welding my stands together. A lot of potential

File: Emo-boy-with-guitar-emo-boys-32868092-393-500.jpg (15KB, 393x500px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 393x500px

>make custom keyboard/guitar amps
>all dat boipucci

>>1073070
obviously you are not married. or not american. i would guess the percentage of married men who can physically carry their wife in from the car at like 5% and that 5 % all just got married in the last few years

File: 63106618.gif (415KB, 480x238px) Image search: [Google]

415KB, 480x238px

>>1080349

>>1080365
what in the fucking hell...
isn't that a rule of thumb? a grown man should at least be able to carry his wife.
i mean, as long as it's not a hamgalaxy... what man can't carry 50-80kg (110-170 burger units)?

File: 7417.jpg (67KB, 964x543px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 964x543px

>>1079381
no
one
cares

What part of "wifesex is no better than masturbation" are you not getting?

>>1074703
Sounds like you might be on your way

>>1080533
i wish

>>1071831
This made me laugh sooo hard

What about blowjob from the wife? Or anal?

Since sex is mandatory I demand her to eat my cum

>>1081048
>>1081048
This is your right. She must comply if you hold up your end of the bargain.
You just dont get to brag about it anywhere because its not an accomplishment.
Deal?

>>1080469
thanks friend :3

>>1080512
not everyone has such a skinny wife anon

>>1081787
>skinny
wtf, 80 is already huge, anything above that is hamplanet-tier. i'm a 1.85m guy and i weigh 85kg

Yup.

Used to work at golf course made me redo the landscaping at my Moms house.

Widowed neighbor saw results and hired me. I liked her but she was a JW and was always a fairly reserved person. She a good rack on her and skiied, jogged and hiked

I got an invite to dinner at her place and we got talking till quite late. She phoned me the next day and when I went in and locked the front door when she called out to just come on in, she was in her living room, in a merry widow with candle burning in the room. Had her on the couch and then talked for a but and went to her room and stayed the night.

We had sex even after I had girlfriends for nearly 15 years. We took some vacations together like San Diego and Seattle

>>1071910
should have bought a Huusle

>>1082025
How much older was she?

>>1071920
Levels of joinery:

Shit Level: Nails

Crap Level: Screws

Decent Level: Pocket Holes

Fair to middling: Lap Joints

God Level : Mortice and Tenon

>>1073428
Wives know EXACTLY what your hot spots are:

Gently touching your testicles while giving oral?
A finger up my bum while I stuff her Missionary?
Wearing some sexy bra and panty set and letting me know when we go out that she ahs it on underneath?

>>1082033
Wow you are a boring human.

>>1082230
Stop being so edgy and go to bed Kevin.
Also: virgin detected

> be me
> be handy
> co worker corners be getting coffee
> says if I can fix her desk at home theres a special reward for me
> screw loose, fix it in a heart beat
> her husband hands me a tenner
> fix screw, get screwed

>>1082281
not even a tugger?

>>1082027
73

>>1082281
Husbands always ruin everything

>>1079661
Nope, more that they were desperate and short on cash. Its strangely arousing

File: 1325291683437.jpg (19KB, 368x355px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 368x355px

>>1083425
>desperate and short on cash
>arousing
you sure have high standards...

>>1084935
I mostly do, I won't fuck trash. Its that house wife/single mother living on a tight budget and suddenly they can't drive. How are they going to take little Timmy to school and practice? How are they going to get the grocery's? They don't have the money to pay, you can see the stress and emotions. When they break down crying I get slightly hard. I get even more hard when they figure out the easiest way to pay is to whore themselves out. Its a bit of a turn off if they try to offer it up with out an internal battle and some tears. And yes I have been told I'm an asshole for doing this to people

File: 1475431222907.jpg (6KB, 240x240px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 240x240px

>>1086078

This anon gets it.

>>1086078
there is porn of this

>>1086088
Thanks mate, there is an art to it and potential victims don't come up too often. Usually I jack the price right up, and offer a temporary fix for a little less. Then I go for a root in the back office where I've got the camera set up and just charge for parts. If they get the temporary fix, I get them to come back for another one and usually don't do any actual work on it the second time round

>>1086078
take me as your apprentice

>>1086362
I find this highly believable and it most certainly happened.

>>1086419
Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, jealous anon?

File: 1478647338869.png (111KB, 615x425px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 615x425px

>>1086478
Here, this image will clarify my intentions.

>>1074703
hahaha just take your own share of dick and money

>>1080365
What the actual fuck? What kind of man can't carry his wife? ...ohhh you're American?

Pro tip: just don't marry a whale

>>1086865
There is only whale to marry if you are blue collar.
Skinny women marry rich guys or go on tv

>>1087528
you're delusional.

>>1071826
I occasionally do cosplay and hang out at conventions. I spend most of my time talking to cosplayers to hang out with other DIY folks. Normally scope out a couple girls who i think are really into the craft and then I start talking DIY. Get a nice lay and breakfast in the morning. Most of the time cosplay girls have a few daddy issues so theyre kind of easy. Granted i met my current GF at last year's comiccon and then struck it back up with her this year.

>>1086480
Fair enough, you don't believe me and short of uploading a video I couldn't really prove it.

Put up a mirror for one ex and she blew me in front of it so we could both watch as a reward.

Swapped out a thermostat in another ex's car. Watching me work was apparently a huge turn on.

Fixed a display skeleton at current girlfriend's work. One of the arms was off and the skeleton was wearing a lab coat (the arm was basically propped by putting its hand in the coat pocket). Told me it's been like that since she started working there and that one of her coworkers said it was stripped. Opened up the lab coat and the fucking screw was mostly undone. I carry a Swiss knife on me all the time, so I simply screwed it back on. Nobody ever thought to look at the fucking thing.

>>1088153
How does that work? Unless the mirror was under your balls?

I feel pretty fucking short changed now all the stuff I did and got fucking nothing in return.

>>1088179
It was a decent sized vanity area and the mirror was for that room. It worked out.

>>1088179
just bee be urself

>>1082033
>Wives
>touching your testicles, giving oral
>A finger up my bum
>Wearing some sexy bra and panty set
>she has it on underneath
Fucking lol.
Oh, you're serious, aren't you?

Okay, you need to separate the fantasy of a wife from the reality.

>>touching your testicles, giving oral
Oral becomes a treat. Unless she has an oral fixation and it turns her on like crazy, oral sex tapers off VERY quickly after marriage. After all, you can't even accidentally get pregnant through oral, it won't give her a baby, so why should she do something so selfless, even going so far as to massage your balls (most women find balls gross or just whatever, by the way)? Otherwise, oral sex only happens if its your birthday or you've done something really special for her.

>A finger up my bum during sex
Most women have no interest in anal play at all, let alone playing with a GUY's anus. If she has to hear/smell your farts regularly, and see all the skidmarks in your underwear when she does your laundry, there's no way she wants to go anywhere near your butthole, ESPECIALLY not during sex.

>Wearing some sexy bra and panty set
>she has it on underneath
The sexy lingerie doesn't come out NEARLY as often as it used to. A wife doesn't need to go the extra mile for your approval, commitment, and attention anymore. She can just wear her granny panties and you'll still get an erection and fuck her anyways. The lingerie becomes a bargaining tool. She'll strut around in it to ask you for some kind of favor, promising hot sex as a reward. Lingerie is extremely uncomfortable compared to normal underwear, and women hate wearing normal women's underwear as it is. There's no chance in hell your wife would choose to wear her lingerie under her clothes all day, due to both discomfort, and the risk of damaging the lingerie, which is also delicate and ungodly expensive.

Sure, wives may know what your hot spots are, but they aren't nearly as dedicated to your pleasure as short-term relationships.

>>1088639
spot the "hubby bubby"

Dude I used to work with usually went out to service our main account (massive company with tons of locations). He fucked a few of the employees at various locations. He always joked about how awkward it was when he went back.

I never tried. I don't shit where I eat.

>>1088643
You think I'm speaking just from personal experience?

I have a long-term girlfriend, but we're not getting married for a reason. These data are collected from friends, family, acquaintances, even strangers. The stories I'm told, the things I've seen.

Even if you do have a super kinky and sexy wife, eventually the sex will get boring because it's the same thing. The same fetishes, the same positions, the same two people with the same two bodies. No matter how hot you find her, no matter how hot she finds you, eventually sex just stops being new, exciting, or rare. It becomes routine, to the point that even YOU don't really want to do it some nights, and you'd rather just masturbate to porn. Sure, there's no tits or ass to grab and you have to use your hand instead of a pussy, but the orgasm feels the same, you get exciting novel visual stimuli, and you don't need to have a shower afterwards.

By all means though, get yourself that kinky, crazy, hottie who has the wildest sex with you. Get married to her, and see for yourself how she doesn't try as hard once she's locked you in, and you start to look past her body once you'd had sex almost every day for years and the sex becomes trivial, only to find a personality that you wish you weren't so blinded by sex to notice before, for better or worse.

File: 1479884018344.png (487KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

487KB, 540x960px

>>1088655
Degenerate.

>>1088655

Speak for yourself. I'm 5 years into my marriage and still love the sex. The secret is moderation. Fucking like rabbits is for kids and a good way to burn out like you described. I still find my wife incredibly attractive.

>>1088639
>>1088655
as a youngfag these posts make me feel hopeless

>>1088669
Yeah. When I had been 5 years together with the mother of my children the sex was good to excellent. Now at this point...

>>1072937
Dang. I must be beta as hell: Older, married 19 yrs, many $ worries = way less sex.

>>1088669
>married 5 years
>acts as if that's a long time
el oh el

>>1080512
Wife put on weight for child X yrs ago; she outweighs me by 25-30 lb. but oh the smothering sex...

>>1088669
this happens to simple people sometimes but most humans are bored as hell with wife sex after five years of marriage.

>>1088904
You really dont want to develop fetishes like that anon. eventually it will end with looking for black guys on craigslist to bang your wife while you hide in the closet,

>>1088905
>not having a competent /diy/ wife
A little creativity goes a long way in a relationship

>>1088926
How the hell does that make a woman sexy?
A good partner ? Ok but sexy? It simply does not translate. In all honesty if on your list of what makes your wife sexy is that she is "competent " , you have already lost .

>>1088972
no, you win.
i wish i would love ugly women, life would be so much easier

>>1088903

You do know we just didn't meet and get married that day right? We've been together for 10 years.

>>1088669
>The secret is moderation. Fucking like rabbits is for kids
>I'm not having much sex, b-but that's a good thing!

Something about grapes etc..

>>1089011

It's okay, anon. You're either tired of your wife and/or not getting laid at all. We've heard similar complaints from couples we know. We will just keeping fucking a few times a week and not have to experience any of the misery a lot of you pathetic fucks are experiencing.

Must suck.

>>1089055
>Must suck
More than your wife at the very least.

>>1089055
Nothing more pathetic than an old married couple bragging about their vanilla sex life.
You dont have enough imagination to realize how lame you are.

>>1089056
>>1089058

I've uncovered a huge salt mine. Hahahaha.

Faggots having to compensate for why they married uggos and are now burnt out or why their wives are fat or whatever. Not my fault guys; look in the mirror or blame your parents for shafting you on the genetic lottery. Try marrying up next time.

>>1089062
Not a married cuck there Mr Vanilla.
Would never be dumb enough to buy a cow.

>>1089064

>implying you're in a position to buy anyone or anything worth a shit

Good philosophy though.

>>1089066
>>1089066
>>1089066
>>1089066
Regardless of my personal situation, marrying women is pants on head retarded.

>>1089075

Not really. DINK master race. Make sure you go upstairs today and spend some time with your mom though. It would mean a lot to her.

>>1089076
>DINK
Just another format of cuck.

>>1089114

Your insecurity is showing anon.

>>1089128
My insecurities are irrelevant.
The fact is that marriage is a very bad deal for males.
Any man that gets married in this day and age is just not doing the math.

>>1089137

My wife has huge tits and an onion ass and makes more money than me. Her pussy gets so fucking wet it's like Crisco oil down there.

I did the math. I won.

>>1089147
You sound like a simpleton.
These types can sometimes make it work out.
Good for you. Glad I dont have to be there when you get cucked though.

Show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I will show you a guy who is tired of fucking her.

>>1071826

I'm maintenence worker at a apartment complex. It sure has worked for me.

>>1089154
I guarantee your stories are far more interesting than some married guy that fucked his fat wife.
Care to tell us any?

>>1089153

Your fascination with cuckoldry is very telling. Fucked up man. Probably from your obsessive porn watching.

Absolutely haram you degenerate.

>>1089165
Your need to believe that it is a rare occurrence is even more telling anon.
Ignorance is bliss I guess.
For as long as you can maintain it anyway.

>>1080530

All of it, because that string of words is fucking retarded.

>>1089179
The truth is hard to hear anon but you will see.
Once you understand you have two options. Live the lie or tell the truth.
Many married anons choose the former and get fucked over anyway even though they perpetuated the lie.

does sex with a washing machine count?

>>1089182
At least its better that fucking the same human female day in and day out for decades...

>>1071831
I felt like this when my shitbox wouldn't pass smog

>>1088639
lol only if you marry a dud

>>1089314
This is wrong, It is far more likely than not. its not bad luck but rather basic biology

How many of you fuck sticks commenting on marriage are actually married?

I'm 29 but most of this generation has no fucking clue about meaningful relationships. This generation is all about instant gratification. Porn and all that shit.

Apparently fucking my wife 3 times a week makes me Mr. Vanilla but I guarantee a large majority of you either a) can't get laid or b) can't get off to your wife anymore.

That's not the fault of society or even the norm. That's on you. Try to belittle or explain it away by making fun of the next guy. At the end of the day, I'm not the one having trouble getting off to the naked bitch next to me. Maybe next time you should try to sow your oats before settling down.

Buncha beta bitches.

>>1089501
Marriage is a bullshit empty promise for the majority of men who engage in it.
You have years to go before you can call your marriage a success.
Just don't try to convince single people that it's a good option because it's not.

>>1079661
your right, i';ve had women come up to me in lowes multiple times asking for help on some trivial thing that needs repair, then again i've been offered home cooked meals by women in the frozen foods section of a grocery store too.

>>1089523

It's a good option if you find someone worth a shit. Money and looks aside, I have a blast with my wife.

You sound like the kind of guy that lacks the self confidence to land a winner like that. The type of asshole that explains away his inabilities in life by putting it squarely on those who aren't burdened by being a complete twat. I feel bad that you'll never experience the great life I have.

>>1089535
Quit trying to make this about individuals.
Marriage is broken anon.
If you defend it, you are an asshole adding to the misery of others.

>>1089536

Real talk, are you a virgin?

>>1089542
Kek, nope, pua.
But notice once again you are making it about me.

>>1089581
Derp, you're making about yourself (or at least about you opinions) by insisting that marriage is a trap for all. At worst, it's 50/50.

>>pua

time for me to 'ave a kek. I used to think like that too; shortly afterwards i turned 25 years old

>>1089153
>women are only good for fucking

>>1089581
>pua
confirmed 20-22 year old virgin

>>1071827
>>1071826

Nothing gets a woman wetter than a man whose handy, masculine and can fix shit. I've had quite a few gfs and they've bragged to others how I do stuff and fix cars etc.

>>1089811
>Can program well
>Can cook well enough
>Can do basic /diy/ stuff around the house
>Automotive knowledge is shit and I couldn't tell a radiator from an engine
It's the one skill I regret not having so my girl can brag about as well.

>>1089837
automotive knowledge is
1. useless
2. fucking easy
if you don't have it, don't bother, but acquiring it isn't a big deal

>>1089938
Damn the stupidity of this post is almost painful. Go fuck your wife.

>>1089956
elaborate?

>>1088655
Holy degeneracy batman.

Tell me my hopelessly porn addicted friend, what exactly is a male's sex life supposed to be like? Hardcore sex scenes with a new bimbo every day until you die at 80 with no children, no family and no legacy?

>>1090680
That would be the ideal for me actually. I wish I could be hefner but without ever having had kids.

>>1090680
>no children, no family and no legacy

>[current year]
>caring about this shit

>>1090680
>Hardcore sex scenes with a new bimbo every day until you die at 80 with countless offspring, a vast harem of females, and a legacy the will live on forever in the form of your potent genes
Exactly as evolution planned.

>Help next door to put together an ikea desk
>Oh you're so nice anon let me thank you
>Gets down on her knees and unzips me ...welp my dick disappeared
>Came buckets

She was 30years my senior but GOAT blowjobs.

>>1090777
NIce work lucky sevens anon.
I bet you were smart enough not to marry her as well.

>>1088655
I'm not with my wife because of sex

Sounds like you are with your girlfriend because of sex though

I'm with my wife because I legitimacy prefer spending time with her

>>1090777
Who are these women that just give out blowjobs to strangers? And where can I meet these strange alien creatures that most assuredly exist?

>>1090973
I would die in a relationship like that.

>>1091105
I'd like to die in a relationship like that.

>>1091110
Way to set the bar low for yourself.
Well attainable goals are a good thing I guess

>>1090978
you clearly didn't read the post
women don't just give out blowjobs for free
they do it in exchange for goods or services

>>1082030
I don't know who Mortice and Tenon are, but they sound like faggots.

Supreme True God of Everything Level: Gorilla Glue

>>1074994

I can relate to this

>>1091110
i am sure you will.
die inside that is

>>1071828
>south african
black or dutch?
Yes, it matters

>>1091397
Blutch

>>1075209
This should not exist.
This is why you should never ever make a babby

>>1071826
>Mandatory sex from the wife does not count.
Shouldn't it be with the wife, not from the wife? Because if you fuck like you receive a blowjob, there is a problem with the way you fuck. Or why you rarely get a bj.