I've got 3 hours to hide 30k in $50 notes, using only the

yes, but you need to bury it in the woods or something and cover with leaves, disturbed soils near your house are prime suspect

>>1056133
>are we possibly aiding and abedding by commenting on this?

Whatever. If you stuff the money in there, it will not rot like other paper, as long as the container is tightly closed and relatively dry. Empty out the gas and use some form of air pressure to speed up evaporation of the rest. Your cash might stink of fuel later, but it will be dry.

Also as >>1056136 says, don't give it to a friend, neighbour or bury it at your usual haunts or in obvious "he'll probably bury it here" places. Try to be original.

>>1056133
Btw, police have money sniffing dogs, if they search with those near your digsite you're fucked.

>>1056133
>pack notes into Ziploc bags
>make rice packets out of uncooked rice and coffee filters
>seal the money bags and rice packets in your high-density poly container
>burry the container for 6 months

Your best bet is to use a PVC pipe instead of the poly container, but you probably don't have sections of PVC pipe laying around. If you prepare the poly container as I described above it should work fine.

>>1056142
I have PVC pipe but no end caps or glue so I can't seal them

This is just a McGyver hypothetical thread for shits and giggles I'm sure.
Or maybe someone brainstorming for a presentation or examples to teach.

In attic, go to a vent stack for a toilet. Go as close to the floor of the attic/ceiling of the room below (under insulation batting if possible), saw pipe, place netting or coat hanger wires across bottom in a way to make sure nothing will fall down into the sewer, then stuff waterproof containers of money up vent stack, preferably with air path to allow some venting to still work (thinner pipe shoved inside or wrap and set bills into a hollow cylinder shape, perhaps in baggies bent in a C shape), then realign pipes and duct tape back together, put insulation back in place.

Even if they brought them into the attic, dogs wouldn't pick up any kind of odors in a vent pipe against the shit sewer gasses.

More risky/ possible they might check, find furdowns in attic above cabinets. make sure there's insulation inside, put some in there to line it in case some bright asshole decides to drill into furdowns from below. Then place baggies of money in furdown, add more insulation from far away in attic, then cover with original insulation.

Attics are standard places to check, so don't just place shit up there in boxes, under boards, or regular places between ceiling and insulation.

If it's 2 stories, or the attic has a floor, remove ceiling duct vents on ground floor, don't place inside duct (obvious place they check) but envelope sized packs in any space between duct and drywall.

Go under cabinets, hope for escutcheons around pipes, check for large gaps around pipes and stuff shit into wall through there then push escutcheons back. (no new holes, sawing, etc that would give it away)

main rule is to not cut into any walls, ceilings, etc. don't disturb paint, don't place inside ducts or walls that act as ducts. Nothing under carpets/floors etc.

No signs of anything disturbed anywhere, they will check those

>>1056133
Go hiking with a shovel and the cash

>>1056133
So you have 600 notes to misplace.

This gas can idea is decent but i have a feeling that some of the other ideas in this thread are worth considering. Check to see if any local bitcoin exchanges exist and see if you can find anything. Use opsec no google and try and use coffee shop wifi. This could dissolve currency with ease if you are in a metro age. Good last ditch effort imo

>>1056133
Put a dessicant in with the money for good measure.

If this scenario were happen irl, the suspect would already be under surveillance. Leaving the house for any reason will be monitored and look suspicious no matter what.

So, my theory remains that OP in scenario must remain inside the house.
Further points:
Do not hide inside things easily moved or searched: books, tvs, computers, toilet tanks, behind/under appliances, duct work,under carpets, etc
Do not damage or alter house in ways that can be found: paint, sawing, caulking, gluing, etc.
Insides of electronics are seized or searched by default, tvs, monitors, computers, toasters, phones, speakers, lamps and so on.
Light switches/electrical boxes are often taken loose as well.

I still go with the idea of putting into walls, pipes, foundation, conduit. Things that cannot be carried away or searched.

Liner/insulation of water heater between outer sheetmetal and inner tank is hard to use, but if you can get to it without showing evidence of access (screws moved, paint on seams not lining up) that's a very rare one

Altered/ sawed walls, duct work, chimneys, flues, paint cans, those kinds of things are easy to search.
I'd look for access to existing hollows in walls, foundation, plumbing, below cabinets behind toe kick, old wall or floor furnaces not being used.
To access later, cut drywall and then cover with fake vent, outlet, coax or network plate.

Bathtub or shower is a great place with easy access to existing hole in wall, behind single handle valves. Bathtub overflow, take off cover and move overflow pipe to side and show into hole between tub and wall.

I'm having fun with this hypothetical mcgyver shit.

To later transport from house:

You'd have to arrange for someone with a pickup to come and take your chosen random "broken" appliance (after you buy new one publicly, maybe even putting box of new one next to trash) from curb next to trash. Best if they already have a load of scrap/junk and look like scrappers. Ideas: lawn mower with cash inside engine cylinder, microwave liner, shaft of weedeater, inside power tool (handle or around motor) like drill, sawzall, that kinda stuff.

You could even buy some new power tool type thing to do it with. Use it for a while, and after a week or 2, your friend asks to borrow it and picks it up or you drop it off.

Hollow framed things like folding tables, weight benches, broken folding chair, tall lamps, outdoor or lawn equipment

Those are all things that a "scrapper" would pick up for the metal.

...and I'm done.
Spy type LARP ideas are fun

>>1056133
I would say lift toilet up and place behind the donut in a ziploc bag if the toilet is not siliconed to the floor.

Hopefully you remembered to delete your computer history OP

As someone who cleaned out several trashbags worth of lint from an old dryer a few years back, a dryer. All you need is a flat metal spatula or drywall knife type thing to wedge into the prongs and open that bitch up, there is a ton of empty space in there.
This was a 90's front loader, so I don't know if current ones are different.

>>1056133
Take out some bills. Change all but a few $50s for singles. Burn the singles in the fireplace and stir up the ashes well, so they can't do a good analysis. Singe the $50s you set aside and get them caught in the chimney half way up.

Hide the rest of the bills using one of the other suggestions listed.

When they go looking with the money sniffing dogs, they'll find the $50s up the chimney, the ashes and figure you burned the rest. The important part is to get them to stop looking.

>>1056404

this is fucking stupid, nobody steals money and then burns it and the cops know this and will know its just a decoy. just shut your fucking face

>>1056591
He's got a point though...
>The important part is to get them to stop looking.

>>1056595

but they wont. cause the cops are not going to think you stole all that money to just burn it away. not ot mention if they FIND traces of it then they have cause to arrest OP.. so leaving traces of it around even burnt would incriminate him.

>>1056596
I didn't say burning was a good idea, just that "get them to stop looking" was sound advice.

Calm down, kiddo - not everyone on the internet is looking for an argument.

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>>1056605

>>1056591

But what if he ACTUALLY burns all the $50's? They'd never suspect that.

>>1056133
Quick! hide your money in my bank account!

>>1056143
You could heat the ends and fuse them together

>>1056133
safe deposit box
grandma's house
inside bags inside old electronics
inside air conditioner vents
inside couch cushions
under your mattress
taped under counters/above drawers
stuffed inside walls through lightswitches
sage for being 2 hours too late

>>1056650
Destruction of federal property.

>>1056133
If you have one of those old cathode ray TVs crack it open, gut it and put money inside.

>>1056133
Put it in air vent like walter white

>>1056591
>steals
OP never said stolen.
>the cops
OP never said cops.

It could be an ex-wife coming over to negotiate a property split. In that case "I sold it and burned the money" might be a perfectly reasonable response.

>>1056191
Bathtub surround is one of the first places they'll look.

Post it to yourself in the future.

>>1056861
in an old style tiled in pressed sheet metal tub? Or even a one piece fiberglass insert tub/shower?

I could understand under jacuzzi that has panels, but would they really tear out tile and tub, or break open a wall "just in case"?

>>1056881
You'd be surprised by the level of destruction the police can do when they are looking for something they know is there.

If it isn't the police looking then no matter where Op hides it they will just beat it out of him.

Pull the panel off your breaker and put it in there

>>1056886
desu... this :(

>>1056143

Buy end caps and glue with some of that 30k.

>>1056139
I've heard if you bury a dead dog 3 feet above whatever you're trying to hide most police will not dig deeper. Can any anons confirm?

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>>1057023
Probably just a myth...but op kill your dog just in case

>>1057023

Only if they dident shoot the dog that was buried.

>>1056133
So how did it go OP?

>>1056133
If you have hollow core doors in your house then you could drill a hole in top of one (nearer to the hinge is better, less likely to rattle when door is used) and stuff the money down into the door, plug the holes up with whatever you have on hand (I have some wine corks) to stop anything from getting there and chewing on the cash, then in six months you can bust the door open and get your cash.

This is basically a variant of this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nAw5_NrgvE

>>1057050
This is probably actually the best practical one so far

>>1056143
seal the ends with wadded up aluminum foil and melted wax, then duct tape to protect the wax

>>1056133
Who is likely to be coming when the three hours are up, police or someone else?

What type of dwelling is it, a house or an apartment?

will you be gone from the dwelling for the whole six months or does the money just need to be "gone" for that time?

The reason I ask this is because I have several pieces of furniture with hidden compartments in them, if I had to vacate the place I live then mt furniture might be sold off by the landlord to cover my back rent, in which case I would go with the idea of burying my valuables.

BTW, another good place to hide the money would be in a ziplock bag held to the underside of the bath tub by magnets, I did this one time at my old apartment, I undid the bath panel and stuck the bag on the far side of the bath with some powerful magnets, you couldn't see it unless you got right under bath with mirrors and flashlights.

Another good place is under the kitchen sink, there is a gap between the sink and the false drawer front on the front of the sink cabinet, using glue, double sided tape or thumb tacks, it's possible to secure a plastic bag there without it ever easily being seen.

>>1056802
But it's for ART! So it's okay.

>>1056864
Lol not bad. Just drop it in the mail with your own address and put Postmaster: mail on or around xx/xx/xxxx

I say pull a spark plug from your lawn mower and stuff the bills in there. No one is going to check the combustion chamber of a lawn mower for money. Then to get it out, just pull the plug again and start the mower up and it all comes flying out in a money fountain.

>>1057023
>>1057027
Might work if the dog wasn't just killed an hour ago.

>>1057231
Tell cops ATF was just here and got the money.

>>1056404
ALSO THEY HAVE YOU FOR EVIDENCE TAMPERING

>>1057023
YEAH BECAUSE EVER ONE HERE HAS A DEAD DOG LYING AROUND

Hollow out a bowling ball.

>>1057023
Why not just put it inside of a dead dog?

It doesn't have to be your dog, just a dog you know that is loved and will be buried not cremated.

>Kill the dog.

>Push rolls of money up its ass.

>Let the owner discover the dog. They morn it and bury it.

>Dig up there dog when the heat dies down.

So, OP you complete faggot. How did it go?

>>1056133
I've actually got some friends and family that I could go leave this with and know it will still be there when I come for it.

>>1056133
when i have buried money in the past, i rolled it up and put it in a thermos flask, then buried the thermos. it was ok there for four years til i got out of jail

Do the money in poverty pipe idea, but to bury it cut a circle out of your greenest, lushest, and wildest grass the same diameter as the pipe, and put it aside. Force the pipe into the ground, then put the grass plug back. The ground won't look disturbed. The plug may wilt after a couple of days, but it buys you time

>>1058263
Pvc pipe, not poverty pipe

>>1056133
If you do plan to bury something like this then you shouldn't do it in your own back yard, you should do it on land you can get to and will not be observed doing so, also make sure to bury it deep, at least four feet deep to stop some cunts pooch digging it up while he takes out for a walk to shit, dogs will dig at recently disturbed earth, put some broken glass in the hole to discourage animals from digging it up.

>>1056133
GIVE IT BACK JAMAL

>>1056650
Which would suck if he stole it and needed to pay restitution...

>>1056802
For which no one has ever been arrested for... Like hundreds of laws in the USC...

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>>1056404
Or, put it in the ash cleanout under the chimney

>>1056139
A dog's not going to smell the money if it's inside a used fuel can

>>1058554
What if someone decides to make a fire one day and burns it all up, don't forget that in OP's scenario he might not be around for six months, how fucking bad would be to get back home after six months and find all your cash burned up?

>>1058555
Get a big bottle of bleach and put a tiny pinhole in the bottom, then put another pinhole in the top and walk all around the area, the smell of the bleach all over the area will fuck up the dogs sense of smell.

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>>1056133
best thing i can think of is put them in sealed bags and weigh them down with rock. place in shallow pond or river and cover with more rocks. you may lose a bag or two to water damage but most should survive. should cover the sent and be pretty safe

>>1058561
If he had any dry sand then he could put the money in the gas can and then fill it up the rest of the way with dry sand and seal the lid, it would now sink into the pond/river and the money would stay bone dry as a gas can is designed to seal liquids in/out.

>>1056133
old man my gramps knew did something like this, he bought a bunch of mason jars and put his money in them, he sealed the jars and added a silicone gasket to them all around the inside and outside of the jars.
he then buried them in various places in his yard at varying depths. He keeps this info hidden away somewhere. I assume behind an electrical plug.

Do the police have to pay for destruction of your property if they start tearing down the walls of your house? If so, I'd say after you do whatever you're going to do with the cash, go do some fresh painting on some part of the house you hate, then let the cops tear it up then have them pay to remodel it.

>>1056133
you need to place your money where nobody WANTS to search, in a really smelly bin or in a vacuum bag full of disgusting stuff like used cat litter or something.

I can guarantee that even though its their job to search through your stuff if you make it unpleasant enough they will try to do a cursory search at best.

I once had a similar experience when going through an airport terminal, I hadn't showered in 3 days due to hiking/hitching round the countryside at that particular time and even though your supposed to be searched flying in and out of the country i managed to not get searched on both sides of my journey and my bag was only given a cursory search as it was full of dirty clothes and damp.

Just shows nobody wants the smelly jobs, if you had time id suggest getting a skunk to spray your hiding spot and just sit back and watch your money remain undiscovered

>>1058561
Series could have ended so much better if Gendo had just shaved off his beard in the beginning so he wouldn't have been a miserable cunt the whole show.

>>1058829
Only if their case fails.

>>1056788

>stuffed inside walls through light switches

This

600 bills isn't that large or difficult to deal with. If you can't leave then that's your best bet. If there are any over sized switch plates around that'll make it easiest because you can shave off a little drywall to make space to slide bills in under the electrical box.

If you have a brick chimney there may be spots where the brick meets wall studs that you could pass bills through into the wall cavity below.

Dishwashers pull out easily, you could hide it behind there.

The washer & dryer supply/drain box is often a recessed surface mount, you could get cash into the walls there too.

30k isn't that much though, I doubt police would put that much effort into finding it under most circumstances. That isn't really their job, they just want to arrest you, they don't care too much about returning the cash. They'll look some and question about it but just because it gives them evidence, they don't actually care about returning it, they'll probably pocket most of it and say they only recovered a portion.

>>1058264

PVC piping is poverty piping. My sewer pipes are exclusively made of 24k gold. Yours aren't, pleb?