Your parents have been horribly murdered and you need to exact

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>>94011817
Coke Can Man
I will, umm, clean the bathroom that is this city from the filth that is crime!

>>94011817

>The Binder

I'll punch holes in people and throw them in storage.

Doesn't sound too different from batman, really.

>Toilet paper

Fuck.

They call me.... BLACK COFFEE

>black bear beanie baby

...huh.

Come to think if it, we don't have a lot of bear-themed superheroes, do we?

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>>94011817

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>>94011817
>Upton Sinclairs "The Jungle"
I guess I can now transform into a giant Lithuanian with meat packing skills. Based in the stockyards of Chicago I fight corrupt businessmen, and the villains who manifest from the slums. However, I can never change society, as I refuse to alter the status quo because I believe I can make it in America if only I work harder. I shall be known simply as "The Hog"

>>94011817
the niu mug
I pour stuff on people

>>94011817
>A lamp
I'll blind them with my pale, white light, then smash there face with a lamp

>>94011817
A Glass of Pickles

>>94011817
CELL PHONE MAN
Iphone for your ass

>>94011817
>A beverage coaster
Aww fuck
>It's a promo item of a band https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg0DLUO9-Pw
>On the flipside is ad for their tar liquor
Melancholy and suit with flask in pocket, only grim sadness will follow me and it will reach the bastards that caused this. It will not end well, not for anyone.

>>94011817
>a shot glass

I become Glass Cannon, which would really just be a shiny guy with a gun.

>>94011995
>Upton Sinclairs "The Jungle"
That's what I have, get the fuck out of my room.

>>94011817
>my embroidery
Most I can think of is using human skin as a canvas

>>94011817
>Paper
They shall fear the wrath of Paper Cut Man.

>A Newton's Cradle

I fight crime with physical and pendulums.

>>94012190
Did you know the Japanese had an execution method where they paper cut a victim to death

>a hair brush
Well shit, I've got nothing.

>>94011817
The empty half gallon jug!

>>94012217
Actually i didn't, was it like the death of thousand cuts as to inflict as much pain as possible?

>>94011817
There are many objects to my right, I'll let you guys pick for me.
>Fish hooks
>Deoderant
>Tissues
>Loafers
>Water bottle
>Notebooks

>>94011817
The object to my right is the aluminium foil left over from a roll of Rolos...

Erm if I hold the foil at the right angle I might just be able to use the sun to dazzle my parents' murder and on cloudy days showing him the foil might make him feel bad I ate all the Rolos

>a toilet


FUCK

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>>94011817
>Who are you?
>I'm your number one fan.

>>94012296
>>Fish hooks
Baitman, the hero who lures villains to their doom with inescapable attractions in elaborate traps.

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A delicious sandwich dipped in au jus

>>94011903
>>94012331
We should team up.

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>>94011817
>Clock
Hope you're ready for time puns.

>>94011817
>read op
>quick look to right
>can of change and toilet paper

fuck it no vengeance for me

>>94011817
>blank piece of paper

Yes, Father. I shall become......the Canvas!

>>94011817
The Flip Phone, an acrobat with powers of telepathy.

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I think I'm a shitty knock off

>>94011817
>Object to my right
>Only thing there is my sleeping, much younger brother and a wall

I become The Brother. Guess I can try to help people out as much as I can, lead them and mislead crooks to good decisions and paths, and avoid killing or seriously hurting people. Giving them a proper beating if they really fuck up is fine.

Doesn't really work with my vengeance MO though.

>>94011817
>The Kapo

I have a supernaturally strong grip and can hold on to moving vehicles and crush people's skulls and necks.

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>>94011903
>>94012331

>>94011817
If I rolled a cardboard box, can I be solid snake?

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Bass guitar, I basically become Jack Black's video game character. Or El Kabong.

>>94011995
You forgot the part where you embrace socialism in the last 3 pages and everything's gravy. Reading the book I understand why people focused more on the food part of meatpacking rather than the workers plight. Sinclair spends entire pages dedicated to vividly describing the unsanitary conditions of the plants while the socialism meeting is deus ex machina tier

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>>94012916
kek

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>>94011817
>Ctrl+ F
>Dresser
No Finds

>Co i am disappoint. I am therefore Dresser Man!

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>>94011817
>wall
>The Wall
I can make this work.

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>>94011817

>>94011817
>An Allen wrench

Well shit, Allen Wrench isn't any worse than Coriander or any other punny superhero names. And think of the gadgets, the sweet sweet gadgets.

>>94012789
How uncreative. Here, this is a way cooler use of piece-of-paper powers.
https://youtu.be/M0wFIjq30h8

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The Chair Man!

A Vending machine
>I have myself delivered near my enemy's residence
>Disguise a poison as their favorite beverage

>Towel Boy
With a little water, I can either towel whip or waterboard my foes

>>94011817
Kleenex Man, swiping off the (s)cum of the Earth.

>>94012480
But wait, wouldn't that make my earlier post...

...I'm so sorry...

>>94011817
Altoids. They make me curiously strong to refresh the breath of this city getting rid of criminals.

>ear buds
I guess I'm Buddy. And I can listen to sweet jams while fighting crime.

Scissor Man! I cut down Crime.

> wooden floor
welp, as they say, in Soviet Russia the floor hits the bodies

The Mechanical Pencil.

I stab you with a mechanical pencil. And I write poetry.

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>>94011817
fear me, for I am

Empty Bag of Pretzels Man

>>94011817
>a pillow
I will go around in a pillows armor to choke criminals to death.
I am vengeance! I am the night! I am... Cushion Man!

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>>94011817
>Deodorant
Oh Yeah!

>pretzel lid
I pray to God that the plastic holds and he keeps his gun in a large lidless pretzel jar.

>>94011817
>Stapler
That sounds horrifying

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>>94011817
...Well. At least it's fitting.

>fidget spinner

>>94014349
Behold, BOY MAN BOY.

>>94011817
>companion cube plush
I bring comfort to people

Your friendly neighborhood Pillow Guy

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>>94011817
The Chair

Come to think about, that's actually very useful. Chairs are everywhere, they never cause any suspicion and are actually quite dangerous in right hands.

>>94011817
Matress Master
I can pick up a mattress with 1 hand and swing it effortlessly

Theres just a wall to my right.

Wallman.

I guess it could be worse.

Phone Man. I guess I could call the police.

>>94012076
Same but Android.

>>94011817
>magazine article about how to massage a cat
I'm drawing a blank. It's attached to a shelf though, so I guess I could be Shelf Man and just sort of fall onto enemies and crush them. Then after they're arrested I can go to their house and massage their cat.

>the dreamcatcher
cool

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>>94013454

Printer Man. Foes will be copied, scanned, and printed to their defeated!

>>94011817
> a piece of chicken
I AM THE RED ROOSTER!

>>94011817
>A Broom and Dustpan
I shall be come the Janitor, and I shall sweep these Streets free of the Dirt of Evil! They may try to sway my hardened Heart with begging and Bribery, but in the Filthy container they call a soul they know it will be futile, Becuase they will know that
>He does it for free

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Hm

>A Radiator

You know depending on how I play this that could be pretty badass.

>>94014327
Man that is some shit taste in the other tabs

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>>94011817
>Your parents have been horribly murdered and you need to exact vengeance
Implying anyone here actually cares for their parents. I love my parents but i'm sure im the minority here

i am Piss Jug Superfan

>Driving Theory Test/Highway Code Book
I will be Highway Test, and I will manipulate signs, tamper with roads, hack cameras and tinker with auto-mobiles so that there will be only one way to pass: into the Afterlife.

>>94016727
I wonder how the "no-killing" policy will work on him.

>>94016809
I love my parents.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc7c7Cdfjik

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6Qok3_XdQ8

>>94011817
Watch Man
Time is on my side

>Charger
I'm basically static shock now but with wires

Dayquil Guy.
My parents won't be getting avenged any time soon.

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>>94011817
>Your parents have been horribly murdered and you need to exact vengeance. The object to your right is what you base your hero identity off of.

maybe I should take out the trash.

>jazz bass
By the power of the moves and the grooves, I am Bassline!

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>>94017082
I'm pretty sure your superhero name is FLCL.

>>94011817
>Payphone man
I huck change at my foes

>>94017270
why the fuck is there even a payphone near you

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>>94011817
>Futon
I AM BED BUDDY! SLEEP ON ME!

>>94017304
Waiting for the train

>external hard drive filled with a terabyte of tokusatsu

It will be done.

>>94011817
>hardcover of Bandette
Looks like I'm a master theif.
Question is, do I dress up like Bandette too?

>A can of peanuts
I'm the Nutcracker. I hit villains in the nuts.

THE WALL...IS CLOSING IN ON CRIME
NO CRIMINAL CAN TEAR DOWN THE WALL
THE WALL SUPPORTS DONALD J. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT.

>>94011817
>USB cable
I got nothing

>Record Player with the Ray Charles Ultimate Collection

So uh...

I am now Blind Nigga Disc-ninja

>>94017504
You know the answer.

>>94017728
USB. You make humans interface with things. Painfully.

>Copy of the book Neuromancer

So, I either become The Paper from Read or Die if I take this literally or I become a cyberpunk hacker. Both good.

>>94011817
Trashman
Time to take out the trash!

>>94017189
Oh dear. Still haven't watched this. Gonna have to bump that to the top of my list then. Thanks, anon.

>>94011817
Uh a Lion shaped necklace? I dunno if thus is cool or just stupid. I guess the necklace give some sort of power like super strength an stamina. I would avenge my patents with the power of a lion. Call me the necklaced lion-man

>>94017776
>So sir i'm gonna transfer your mind to this toaster
>Alright
>Bend over
>.-.

>>94011817
THE UTENSIL. I PIERCE EVILDOERS WITH MY FORK OF RIGHTEOUSNESS AND THEN CUT THEM WITH MY KNIFE OF VENGEANCE.

JUSTICE IS SERVED.

>>94011817
a ruger sr9c
I guess I'm gun man

>>94011817
>Another computer

I ummm... I dunno... become another lame computer based hero? Hack and do IT for other heroes?

Honestly I just would probably just put CP on the computer of whoever murdered my parents and let the FBI do the rest of the work.

>>94018288
You must rebuild those who murdered your parents into idea computer cases.

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have a heavy duty industrial vaccume that you wear like a backpack (which we nicknamed "ghostbuster")and a I.V pole

I'm a creature of this dark city, surviving only on morphine drips and liquid potatochips.
I Believe myself as a champion of justice fighting the evils of man and beast along with the supernatural equiped only with my ghost/demon sucking wet/dry vaccum he's making this dark worl a litttle bit cleaner

..when really I'm just some crazy guy with a vaccum serving justice while living in a delusion

>>94011817
Chair, so I call myself The Chairman

I shall become Ipad/Bed Man!

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This book.
Its perfect!

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>>94017668

>>94011817
>A Gorilla Grodd Lego figure holding a small lego banana

um guess I either make a gorilla suit out of Lego's or I attack people with Lego's

>>94011817
The supervisor. I'll give tasks to my incompetent minions in the hopes that they won't mess up my plans that get simpler and simpler with each failure.

>>94011817
>a toy dino and gun
GUNOSAUROUS REX

>a slipper
La Chancla

>big reheated bowl of mom's spaghetti
Well, this is going to be awkward.

>>94018710
I'd buy every issue.

>>94011817
>right hand man

But I'm a lefty

>>94011817
Ok same premise but this time you have to base your identity on the last computer program you closed, no web browers.

>Captain SolidWorks
>fights crime with his amazing Auto-CAD redering skills

>>94011817
>Window
The Defenestrator! A vigilante who kills people by throwing them off windows

An empty mug.

I'll call myself The Mugger, stealing from the poor to give to the poor.

>a USB Xbox 360 controller
I'd be The Controller, and would be able to control evil with a hyper modified gaming controller.

>why are you hitting yourself?
>why are you hitting yourself?
>why are you hitting yourself?

>>94011817
Bootleg DVD-R Man!
I take vengeance on the MPAA for C&Ding my father and mother for pirating movies.

By like... tossing discs at people.

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>>94014382

>>94017315
Criminals get too comfortable to commit crime. It's genius!

>>94011817
My comic book collection.

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>>94011817
>crusader statue
DEUS VULT

The Leg Press

I have amazing leg strength, I guess.

>>94011817

The cheap computer mouse I bought off amazon?

>>94011817
> Jeep
I become Jeep Man

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>>94011817
>Wall Man
I'm okay with this.

>>94011817
Powerade Man. My whole comic is just an advertising campaign for Powerade.

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>Skull Man

WELP.

>>94011817
>a plug

I'm drug dealer man

>>94011817
My wallet. At least I've got cash.

>Drawing tablet
I'll draw dicks on your computer and shove the tablet pen up your ass

>>94011817
The Grape Slush. Deploying my brain freeze power at all evildoers.

>>94019295
>Honey Select
Illusionsoft Kamen! Has the charisma to bring any evil-doer back to his hotel room before they can commit crime.

>>94020750
Anon, why is there a skull directly to your right anyway? Are you posting from some kind of anatomy class? Morgue? Old Timey Sex Dungeon?

>>94011817
>What have you become?
The Doorman.

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>>94021026
>Mastering all of life's doors

OP as fuck.

I'm a member of the Plastic Cup army. Disposable, but useful nonethless

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>Arctic Zone Batman

Couldn't have gone better

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>>94011817
I am Spore Man!

I'm basically Beast Boy on LSD, and also I mostly turn into Penis monsters.

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>>94011817
oh man. ohhhh man.

I will carefully choose my words to befriend my enemies and make them fall before my swift, caring personality. I will befriend their friends, and bring up several conversation topics to the table. to plot further, I will cordially invite them over to my house, and have them sit on my most comfortable seats available. I will provide only the finest of snacks and beverages, and procure myself to be the finest of hosts. small talk here and there, casual peptalk and the such. sooner or later I'll have to go to the kitchen to bring more snacks.

that's where it all goes down.

I reach into my pocket, and bring out my tool. just as they're watching their favorite episode of Doctor Who. nobody suspects a thing. Bam. House MD. bam, Law and Order. bam, tele offers. bam, Victorious. bam, Steven Universe. bam, MasterChef.

if I insist enough, my plan will work swiftly and they'll leave slightly annoyed, without further interaction if possible. I will make their night so horrible they'll never want to be my friends ever again.

it's perfect.

>>94022142
holy s h i t

A hard hat
My back pack
And Ozark trail mug with water.

I hone stay have no clue.

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Aw man, I can't wait to be "two part, air drying, non shrinking epoxy man."

Actually, that might be pretty neat. Could be like Clayface mixed with Mas y Menos.

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RUN TIL' YOU DIE SUCKERS

>>94019295
>photoshop

guess i have semi reality warping powers via photoshopping shit?

>>94011817
...How far right?
Cause the closest thing to me is my ergonomic mousepad where you rest your hand on some titties

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>>94011817
>Beats
Can I be this guy from Amazing Spider-Girl?

>beauty and the beast(cartoon not LA) pillow
im already a pillow princess so that should be interesting

>a 3D printer
I can make plastic objects on a whim

Scot tape or a folding knife?
.
.
./
Scot tape man it is.

Couch Man

Move over, Darkseid. This seat's taken.

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Old Chihuahua Man! I will drive my foes insane with my incessant need for food and to be put on the couch only to jump off a second later!

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>>94023523
>sits on your face

>>94011817
Cleanlaundryman

>>94011817
Why use Gronks pic for a dark thread, OP?

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>>94011817
My desktop, I guess I'm COMPUTING MAN

>>94011817
the helix sword Damascus edition from heroes?

shit i do not know i guess i'm kite man now

>>94011817
The Slipping Gear. I have a modified Honda Civic and my armory is made of repurposed auto parts

Headphones

S O U N D W A V E

>>94011817
>Television playing Big Bang Theory
I'll have them clawing their faces to shreds within the first minute.

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Purple geisha with slime powers.

>>94011817
>an ink stained sock I use to clean my whiteboard
boy that sure will command respect

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>fidget spinner
I guess I'm autistic.

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>>94028336
Just stay away from Mark Waid and you'll be a decent career criminal.

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>>94011817
>Lovecraft anthology
first i thought may get ancient powers incomprehensible to mortal men but it would be more like: behold, I'll recopile your most representative/popular crimes in a single book at a convenient price!

>>94011817
tooddler man... im pretty fucked

> a fucking pillow
I am now apparently pillow man, who spreads fear among criminals by suffocating my victims with pillows as I watch with glee as they die slowly before me, their panicked and desperate screams slowly fading away as they take their final breath.

>chewy chips ahoy

The cookie KILLER

Oh wait a hero.

The Cookie CUTTER

>>94011975
Came here to post this

>>94018869
Mexicans fear this villain.

>Books
Y'all niggas about to be educated in justice.

>>94012590
>a delicious sandwich dipped in of juice

>>94019295
One finger death punch man

>>94011817
>a router
>and another router
but my personality is already based around being an enormous dork, as evidenced by the router, and the other router

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I am Carpet Muncher.

Delicious crime.

>>94011817
>Tie between headphones or a comforter
Either sound/music-based bullshit or comfiness, so capturing villains and making them too comfy to commit crime.

Curtains, I'm curtain girl, ready to cover up and uncover anything, just think about my presentations by uncovering stuff under curtains and always getting audible gasps from everyone.

>>94029537
Either way, your hero is waifu bait.

>>94017270
you call them from the past
when they say "1987 just called and--" no one will ever take them seriously and they'll be unable to gather minions or co-villains for major crimes

>>94016862
you'd be surprised what you can live through

A clothing iron...
>Iron Man
Fuck yeah

>>94019071
you make villains' knees weak, their arms are heavy

>>94018446
your superpower is to fuck up China for about 30-40 years

>>94029694
But anon, he isn't opium.

Armed with the power of the sun, I will shine the light of truth on all those who seek to hide from justice, for I am... the delightful D-Light.

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I should clean my room

>>94011817
>An Android phone
Aw hell yea, I's The Android

>I got an Ar-15

Do I win?

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>A pair of shitty headphones
Fear the power of my harmonies and counterpoint, for I am Baroque Man!

Two american flags.

Captain America?

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>Voyager Optimus Prime

Time to wear a metal bra and commit mass murder for FREEDOM

>>94011817
I am a large sketchbook.
I call myself
>PAPERCUTz
200 pounds of pure paper, I have no mouth or eyes or ears but my spiral bound sides can split apart and stab my foes
I can fold myself and I am 10 feet tall

>>94030005
Better Double Captain american

>>94011817
>satin pillow

I lure, seduce, and asphyxiate my enemies in an underground sex dungeon. My costume is pink satin lingerie, heels, and gloves. I also have various satin covered/suffocation related tools such as pillows, ropes, whips, duct tape, clothespins, and head cover bags.

>Printer
I'm the mighty Printman master of high resolution, fear my tax and employe forms

>>94030093
I hope to god ur pillow shaped

>Wii U gamepad

I am Touchpad Man.

Please look at the gamepad SO I CAN PUNCH YOU STRAIGHT IN THE NOSE

Touch me with your stylus

TOUCH ME

TOUCH MEEEEEEEE

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Upgrading my right arm with the latest in Vengeance-Tech, I have become Handroid!
With my slightly outdated, yet hip with the kids, robotic hand, I will face-time your crimes and candycrush any chance of villainy!

>>94011817
Hash (vape) Pen
I'll protect Colorado, right after I eat these pizza rolls.

I am... FLESHLIGHT-MAN!

>>94011817
TV-Tony
Power: I throw a big-ass grandma tv on you.

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>>94011817

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>>94011817
> A Young Girl Defending Herself against Eros

As Bouguereauté Man, I piss off avant-garde artists of the impressionistic style with my licked finish, financial success, and general lack of taste! Eventually my connections to and power over the rich allows me to hunt down and torture my parents murderers though a capitalistic system that favors the well-connected!

BEWARE EVIL DOERS, I WAS A REAL FUCKIN' MAMA'S BOY!

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>vintage Skeletor action figure

fuck yeah boys we skelethor now

I'm Toasteds Cracker Man,
NICE TO WHEAT YOU.

>>94011817
>Paper Shredder
Things 'bout to get brutal, man.

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If we're talking any object, even fixed, it would be a window so...

>I cause people to run into me and get concussions

Otherwise it would have to be a window fan
>pic related

>a space marine motorcylce without the space marine on it.

Guess I use a big-ass motorbike the size of an suv

runner up is a big studio microphone for my failed livestream

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I am The Humidifier; Here to steam the competition and keep justice moist.

A rosary gifted to me after my registration at the Saint Ignatius of Antioch church.

>>94011817
> My HP 50g calculator
Miscreants will cower and void both bowel and bladder at the very mention of the name Calcularius.

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>>94011817
I am The Amplifier. Boss of Bends, Regent of Rock, Marshall of Music, Sultan of Sound,
here to melt the easy listening faces of evildoers with the raw power of the darkest of Metals.

>SQL Workbench

When a radioactive database took a byte out of mild-mannered Miles Manners, the timid college student had no idea that it would enhance his data management abilities! With the power to store data in his mind, The SQLite can use whatever info he's stored to blackmail his parents' killer into surrendering himself!

pencil
might as well draw dicks to save the day

I am Nooseman, with an uncanny skill at tying knots, supernatural control over ropes and a predisposition towards terrible puns I shall be unstoppable!

>>94011817
A plate of grapes.
So, um, I'm kinda like Cap America. But my shield is made of glass and I'm more squishy.

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>>94011817
I am the Tea Knight

I ride around in full plate armour and a horse, but instead of a sword or lance I just carry around a cup of very hot tea I throw in my enemies faces, not at scalding hot melt your face temperatures but it's a thoroughly unpleasant feeling that will probably give you a first degree burn

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Cotton ear bud man. A dark, unforgiving vigilante who snuffs out criminals by puncturing their brains with his weapon of choice.

>Bug spray.

Guess I breathe an odorless spray that kills on contact and "keeps on killing".

Also flammable.

Huh... not so bad.

>>94011817
An mtg deck. R/U/G if it matters.

Some form of wizard? Deck based magic user?
Could be cool. Thoughts?

>>94011817
Mirror man? It's a start.

>Pillow Woman
This seems like a weird lesbian joke and I'm cool with that

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>>94017860
>>94017074

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I am more than alright with this. She was just next to Kat as well and Cortana as well, and either would have been perfectly fine.

Being an insane DFC possible-trap that blows everything up with endless destructive fervor to avenge my parents would be amazing. I'd read it, watch it, buy the film, and all the merch.

Shame there's no damn good merch of mai waifu out there.

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Crime better get ready

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>>94011817

>>94033594
I don't play much video games, elaborate pls. She looks like a cutie!

>>94033650
>>94033650
This, my friend, is alllll you need to know. She's basically Riot Games personal Harley Quinn.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nlJuwO0GDs&t=4s

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Oh.

"Doc Marten" Kicking crime to the curb

>>94033669
This game got comics? Like that one Overwatch game? I would play but seeing as I got a kid and another coming along the way and my job as an ER nurse is demanding... I only got time for one hobby and comics and cartoons are all I got for now.

>>94011903
I don't think I've ever seen toilet paper on the right side , it's always left.

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>>94012296
>I WILL BLOW YOUR NOSE!

>Ivy
I ama male Poison Ivy, I guess

>>94011817
>Portable Pub

...I... become a master of Drunken Kung-fu?
I can deal with this.

>>94011817
Warhammer 40K role playing game gm's screen
This could be very good, or very bad

>Harry Potter book

Become a wizard and defeat LORD MOLDYBUTT

It's a bunch of Rainbow Loom bracelets and and a woven rubber glove, made them with my little sister last summer.
> team up with my sister
> make huge loom bands to use as bounds for our enemies and climbing equipment
> woven rubber masks and costumes
> smaller bracletes and bands with hidden unstrechable garottes
What should we call ourselves? Rainbow Doom Duo? The Looney Loomers?

>Antidepressants
O-oh..

>>94011817
Fold-able table

Guess i'm basically a wrestler

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>can of pepsi
https://youtu.be/q_9SsX7HJhE

>>94011817
Nokia phone, unfortunately not a brick.

I call myself Eness Anderson. I eavesdrop on all phone communications to bring my enemies down, using their secrets against them.

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>D-Arts Izanagi
Got that school shooter look on point.

>aloe vera drink

>>94011817
Obese Lady Man doesn't exactly roll of the tongue.

>wired xbox 360 controller
We Ex-Aid now bois

>>94011817
I am The Living Dakimakura. I can shapeshift into any waifu, but in doing so, I will be rendered immobile. And fluffy.

>>94011817
I shall be "Used-Tissue-Man"
I fight crimes the police are too disgusted to try. I stop the criminals by forcing their bodies to sense a raised sense of pleasure, followed by telekenetic jerk-offs and fingerings, they orgasm so violently they pass out.
My weakness is llamas and my trusty steed is a boar I call Painal.

>>94036041
Who among you shall be my rival?

>Beware the power of Bragi, the Wireless Headphone super hero.

I make people lose the will to fight and gain the will to groove by playing some chill jams with my Bragi™ The Headphones™ Truly Wireless Headset™ now available at your local Best Buy™ or Sam's Club™

There's a microwave to my right, I'll use its radiation to defeat my enemies