Pitch me your silver/bronze age Superman idea; Reminder it can't

he kicks a super-villain

>>93871292
Jimmy Olsen turns into a giant macy's day parade float because he accidentally shot himself with Superman's inflato-ray while sneaking around in a private room in Superman's fortress of solitude that Superman told him not to go him five minutes beforehand. Superman punishes him by selling him to a snack company parade sponsor, but it turns out the whole thing was a ruse so Superman could infiltrate Brainiac's secret plan to mind control all of Metropolis with nano-chipped confectionary treats.

Superman starts eating the other members of the Justice League and Batman has to get him to swallow some sort of Kryptonite pill or some shit in order for Supes it vomit them out.

>>93871333
could use more work. Why can't he use his arms in this story? is it a kryptonian holiday about a guy with no arms??

>>93871391
perfect. you're hired

>>93871439
too edgy. switch it to a Red Kryptonite story where superman turns into a giant space whale

>>93871292

Superman can't work out who the criminal terrorizing Metropolis is, so builds a replica of the city on the moon with robot duplicates of all its citizens, and secretly swaps humans and robots one by one until the crimes change location.

Superman fakes a gorilla invasion of Earth where the gorillas kidnap him and put him in a cell made out of Kryptonite bananas because the Legion of Super-Heroes needs to take their job more seriously. Except it turns out that it's actually a ploy to find Gorilla Grodd's long lost time travelling grandson and stop him before he takes over Marzal Island and turns the whole population into mind-controlled gorillas so that they can become his new subjects.

Lex Luthor opens up a lemonade stand and Superman works himself to the bone trying to find Lex's angle when it seems like a normal, if juvenile, business venture. He goes to the farm that supplies Lex with lemons and finds out they're secretly Kryptonian-hybrid lemons Lex has created in hopes the seeds would turn to some sort of Kryptonite. The lemonade stand eventually goes under once the lemons become too Kryptonian and got too sour in our sun's light. Lex is upset and ditches the plan entirely as Superman says 'Looks like someone grew too close to the sun'
Superman takes the trees and starts a lemon tree grove in the fortress of solitude.

>>93872254
Otto Binder is that you?

Jimmy Olsen learns a magic spell that allows you to swap bodies for 24 hours and uses it on mild mannered reporter Clark Kent as a harmless friendly prank. Little does he know that now he has a power of Superman! Can Superman in Jimmy Olsen`s body hide the fact that Clark Kent is Superman from Jimmy for 24 hours?

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>Bizarro #1 is banished from Htrae when his other doppelgangers ambitiously decide that they're more qualified to take on his role than he is, accusing him of losing his edge
>"order" ensues in his absence when every other Bizarro tries to sort out who's the new "#1" by increasingly weird feats of destructive, backwards logic nonsense
>meanwhile, Bizarro #1 fucks off back to Earth and decides to make an honest effort to reform... but ends up accidentally starting some crazy counter-culture super villain movement as he unsuccessfully attempts to seamlessly fit in with Earth's status quo
>Superman can't even comprehend the scale of bullshit his doppelganger's stirred up by complete accident in his reverse-redemption arc, and resolves both of their problems by going back to Htrae to explain just how much trouble the true #1 has caused without even trying, and they cut their loses and accepts him as their leader again since he's the only one among them that doesn't have his shit straight

>>93871292
superman punches a hero

>>93874081

A fellow superhero has supertoothache, and Superman tries everything to try to help them knock the tooth loose.

Superman creates an army of Superman robots to protect Metropolis, but what happens when those robots go on strike?!

Cover Description: Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen in the background, while Superman robots are holding up signs in front of the Daily Planet. Superman is flying on the upper right corner of the cover

Dialogue: Lois Lane: Those robots have gained free will and want fare wages!

Jimmy: But Superman doesn't want to negotiate with them!

Superman: There is only one way to stop this strike, by throwing Metropolis into the Sun!

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superman saves santa from a villain who intends to use his toy delivery one christmas as a cover for mass bombings in some countries, and drug pushing in others.

on the surface it's a christmas special where he delivers toys at the end to good boys and girls of the world but especially Americans, but between the lines it's the issue that confirms the bible for truth and canon in the universe, because St.Nicholas birth of christ etc etc.

Metropolis and Gotham have switched places? Batman wakes up to find Gotham has vanished and has been replaced with Metropolis! Now he has to deal with Superman's enemies while Superman gets to deal with his enemies!

Cover: Batman pleading with Superman, who's lifting Gotham in the air

Batman: Please! I swore I would protect Gotham!

Superman: You can protect Metropolis, Gotham is MY city now!

>Cover: in the midground, Batman is holding a chunk of kryptonite, and Superman is in the foreground reeling from its effects. Robin is in the background, theoretically terrified but instead looking mildly concerned
>Robin: How could you betray Superman, Batman? How could you do this to your own BROTHER!
>Batman: I have no choice, Robin! I must do this BECAUSE he's my brother!
Interior: After Batman helps Superman put Luthor away once more, they shake hands. Superman thanks Batman and Robin for their assistance and offers to share with him a slice of apple pie back at the Fortress. Batman of course accepts. At at the Fortress, Batman is surprised to see that Superman's pie recipe is exactly the same as his own mother's was. Talking further, they come to realize their mothers have so many similarities, they might have been the same woman from alternate dimensions. Which would make Batman and Superman half-brothers.

At the revelation, Batman grabs a sample of kryptonite kept for study purposes and vows to destroy It, lest it be used against him. He escapes, leaving Superman and Robin dumbfounded.


In his cell, Lex is delighted at the news. He is listening to the conversation through a device he planted on Batman's cape. Batman being half-kryptonian makes sense: he was using his powers subconsciously. Lex has been developing a ray that can attack specific individuals based on their "atomic structure," but he needs a sample of them for it to work. Superman is invincible, but if Lex stole a sample from his half-brother Batman, the ray should work. He breaks out of prison back to his lab, where a sample of Batman's hair is waiting. Returning to Metropolis with his super-weapon, he causes havock, trying to lure out Superman. A fight with Lex, Superman, and Robin ensues. Luthor fires his superweapon at Superman, and it hits. (Advertisement)

>>93875038
But somehow has no effect! Superman smashes it and takes Luthor back to jail. Turns out, Batman only pretended he and Superman were brothers to trick Lex into basing the ray on Batman's "atomic structure." The kryptonite was a fake, intended to further convince Lex. This way, the mad scientist would think the technology didn't work, and would abandon it. He needed to be tricked, because otherwise the ray would render Superman's secret identity useless. Explaining all this to Robin, the Boy Wonder is happy the two weren't really fighting, but is a bit sad they aren't really family. Superman laughs, and says that they are a family in all the ways that matter.

>>93871292
Lex uses red Kryptonite to turn Superman's arms into Tenatcles and he has to rape Luthor to stop him from blowing up the tri country area

>>93872098
As close to perfect as we will get in this imperfect world.