>NBD Please tell me this is a shop. Please tell me we don't

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Wow Nick Shore was really dedicated to the cause.

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>>93625866
>OP's face when.

>>93625918
This.
Yeah it's stupid, but Peter is 15 now isn't he? Teenagers say stupid shit like this all the time.

>>93625895
The snapchat idea is not bad from a business standpoint. It would indeed be neat as part of a viral marketing campaign.

>>93625935
Nobody on this planet uses NBD.

Fucking shills

>>93625866
Cry more, old faggot.

>Flash is a manlet cyber bully (who cares about his race)
>Cop out "MJ" love interest who acts nothing like Mary Jane (who cares about race again)
>Spidey is afraid of heights
>No Spider-Sense (look it up)
>No punching
>Cringe vlogging
>Stupid "I don't need gadgets to be a REAL hero" storyline that isn't important for the character

You CANNOT defend this movie

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>>93625866
>Old Man Shouts at Periodical

>>93625935
no one gives a shit about tough mudder except for faggot rednecks, and literally no one uses """NBD"""

Smells pretty shilly in here.

I'm pirating this movie. Fuck you Sony.

>>93625895

Beat me to it. They literally took his advice.

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>>93625866
please cry more loser

>>93626074
>83 reviews

Yeah that is in no way skewed at all

>>93625866
>literally have 10 cousins under 18
>none of them texts or speaks like a retard
Thank fuck.

>>93625866
I thought Peter was supposed to be smart. Smart people don't send texts like that.

>>93625978
Is this bait? We've seen spider sense (in Civil War, when he notices Bucky throw the sign) and we see him punch in the trailers for god's sake. The other stuff is up to taste, and I haven't heard about this "caring about race" stuff so I can't make a point about it.

>The Aunt May movie is going to happen

I'm not supporting this shit. We need to spread the word.

>>93626120
He doesn't punch in the trailers

>>93626124
Normiebook is pretty good for getting things to go viral.

>>93626120
Jon Watts said that they use the Spider-Sense all that much because it's played out, which was clickbaited into "SPIDER-MAN DOESN'T HAVE THE SPIDER SENSE AT ALL! BOYCOTT!"

>>93625866
Even as millennial

This is trash

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>>93626036

>>93626165
>don't use

>>93626124

Then don't see Spider-Man Homecoming.

This movie looks so bland. The only thing which looks halfway decent is Vulture, but it's Marvel so Michael Keaton will have nothing to do anyway.

Also a man with the last name Toomes somehow has a daughter with the last name Allen

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>>93625866
APOLOGIZE

>>93626184
Thx Italy for embarrassing dancing Spider-Man

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NOOOOOOO STOP MAKING PETER A HIPSTER

GOD DAMN

>>93626195
Her mother's maiden name is "Allan" and they never say it in the movie. Just like Ned is never referred as "Leeds".

>>93626184
So this really is the sequel to TASM2

>>93626230
You don't know what a hipster actually is, do you

>>93626165
So it's better that they don't use a power Spider-man is known for, because paid writers found it too difficult to write?

>>93626141
I may have been misremembering that scene with him stopping the robbery, so I'll concede that. I don't see why not punching makes or breaks the movie, though.

>>93626266
Don't make fun of the Retarded Kid, that's his best meme he's posting.
Just pat his helmet and move on. The (You)s will only give him a tummy ache.

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>>93625918
>`IT'
>....
>two watermarks

That pic is complete garbage, I had to say it.

>>93626097

What did he mean by this?

>>93625935
>Peter is 15 now isn't he?

Peter was never fucking "in".
No, not even after he became a normalfag was he ever into the retarded modern trend of his era. He wasn't a hippie, he wasn't a college activist, he didn't go to the disco regularly nor was he a huge rock 'n roll fan. In fact, he was put in contrast to his peers or Flash or sometimes MJ to show how much OUT OF ALL THAT he was.

This is just the demented fanfic of some idiotic exec >>93625895

>>93626165
It actually sounded more like the has it, it's just not visually emphasized beyond things like his lenses widening. That's good for me, the less ramping and slow mo the better.

>>93626326
A summer blockbuster with only 83 reviews recorded reviews on RT?

>>93626335
>the less ramping and slow mo the better.
THIS
spare the the "wubba-wubba-tingle" shit.

>>93626355
See: every summer blockbuster pre-release.

>>93626355
That's incredibly standard at this point.

>>93626216
NBD!
Did you know about the "web" pun?
To be fair it's one of our most retarded commercials ever.

>>93626269
But they do use it. Just not a lot.

Which is what Raimi and Webb did anyway. The Spider Sense only works when it's plot-relevant.

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>Peter texting like a retard and using slang

I hate everything about this.

>>93626329
There's a difference between what you describe and slang that everyone uses.

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>>93625866
BRING BACK RAIMI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSW0m2cGRUg

>>93626329
This is the problem with putting him in a school for only geniuses. He's not an outcast anymore for being smart.

>>93626431
You're still at it shill?
They already answered you before, go away, you're not getting your Hot Pockets today.

>>93626431
Peter wouldn't use retard normie slang like that. Did everyone on the fucking planet forget he was an /r9k/-tier genius outcast faggot?

So.

What's NBD mean?

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Now this is sad.

>>93626480
No Big Deal.

>>93626431
Being only a few years out of high school, I can tell you that only idiots use that kind of slang. And only a minority of them at that. It's not common at all. You're more likely to see it coming from moms who recently discovered texting.

>This much sperging over an Entertainment Weekly cover

Need I remind you of the "meow" shitstorm.

>>93626484
oh that's right Baby Driver is out

I should go see that

Theres a Elsa cameo, they arent taking things very seriously

>>93626484
To be fair, it's the only one not playing right now and people don't usually buy their tickets a week in advance.

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thank god Amy Pascal is onboard

>>93626567
>a week in advance
It's out in 4 days.

>>93626459

he's not autistic, just skinny and nerdy before getting his powers

>>93626591
Still.

>>93625965
Nah, people do, but not so much out of context the way this guy thinks teenagers do

>>93626567
>>93626604
this

don't worry based marvel will crush it on Friday $200 million opening at least

we really should be expecting records to be broken and actual ones too not those BS ones DC has

>>93626329
To be fair, his smartphone shenanigans are his own video journal, not a social media effort, so it doesn't really count.

>>93626197
tbqh i didn't mind james garfield as spider-man. i thought he was a pretty decent "spidey" but the material he had to work with was complete trash.

it's like val kilmer getting shit on for his batman movie being awful even though imo he's the best of all the live action bruce waynes and batmen and i'll fight anyone who disagrees with me.

>>93626419
>texting
I have not seen this once in the movie

>>93626595
Have you read those old comics? His inner thoughts were full Elliot Roger-tier autism.

>>93626706
Man you didn't even try with that rebuttal, shill.

>>93626675
It's OOC even if it's only between him and himself.

>>93626750
Not really.

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>spiderfags still delusional enough to think this movie won't be gay.
I don't get it. Marvel makes plenty of great movies, why are they excited for the only shitty one?

>>93626074
All these well received comicbook films seem to get the same damn rotten tomato score, even down to the same average rating.

>>93625866

Why are you surprised? Have you sen the marketing for this film? All of Amy's retarded ideas are in it. There's nothing of Spider-Man saving anybody all the posters are him lounging around or riding on top a train with giant headphones on. This is a Spider-Man ripped of all urgency and worst of all responsibility. I'm angrier about this than I really should be

>>93625866
Holland is not that tall. There's a lot of shopping here

>>93627057
He's 5'8. An inch shorter than RDJ. Two inches taller than "Flash Thompson."

Daily Reminder: Sony is in charge of all the marketing of this flick.

Whatever issues you are basing on posters, trailers, and clips, just know they are 100% on them. So any DCfriends who want to take jabs at Marvel with them, just know Marvel has nothing to do with all that nonesense.

>>93626750
>It's OOC even if it's only between him and himself.
OOC for who? Your expectations of how every Peter Parker in every universe should behave with zero deviation or or the MCU's Peter Parker?

>>93626567
>and people don't usually buy their tickets a week in advance

America is so far behind in some ways. I can't believe you guys don't pre book

>>93627103
Spiderboy was a mistake. I don't want him shitting up the MCU with this retarded crap.

>>93627103
>>93627103
>So any DCfriends

Oh fuck off you pathetic sack of shit

>>93625866
Pretty cute. Nice to see some personality.

>>93627103
How can one person be so wrong?

No one is friends with DC and this movie is marvel all over

>>93627186
>personality
are you making quips anon? Holland is the blandest mother fucTker in the whole damn MCU. Jesus christ, RDJ's Stark and Evan's Cap have personality. This is pre-packaged stereotyped millennial shit designed by committee.
Real millennials don't act like this this is what Amy Pascal and her friends are just out of touch.

>>93627261

If he's 15 isn't he gen Z? I'm 28 and technically a millennial.

>>93627261
Didn't Kevin Fiege want Asa Butterfield or something and Sony wanted Holland?

>>93627330
>Asa Butterfield

He would have also been shit. the short list was fucking awful

>>93627330
Asa was on the shortlist but apparently dropped the ball and boasted nabbing the role before it was a done deal. There's also hearsay RDJ vetoed him for being taller than him.

>>93625978
>No spider sense
>Probably needs Spidey to shout out loud about his spider sense tingling to know it exist

Literally hold your breath.

>/co/ still this assraped because Homecoming is a critical success

HAHAHAHAHA, best days of my lfie.

>>93627382
Lol, if that last bit were true, the Avengers would look like the Lollipop Gang from Wizard of Oz.
I call bullshit.

>>93627414
Between this and Marvel-style Wonder Woman raping the Kinoverse, it's been a good Summer.

>>93627420
RDJ had no power over the Avengers casting but apparently had say in the Spider-Man casting since they interact so much.

>>93627082
>he's 5"8'
>I'm taller than Spidertwink
Never thought I would get an ego boost like this.

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>>93627414
>yfw Justice League; the Whedon Cut is a huge critical success, and the word "funny" appears in the first 6 words of the RT review.

I have no face, I'll be busy using my telescope to locate my sides.

>>93627477
To be fair, you are probably 3x his weight too.

>>93627142
Yurop here, I don't think I've ever booked a film ticket.

Shit, man, how often are cinemas truly packed out anymore?

>>93627481
>Batman not in the center of the Trinity shot
Fuck it really has gotten that bad.

>>93627494
In muscle maybe. Even MCU Steve Rogers had more muscle before the super serum.

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>>93627349
What about Charlie Rowe?

>>93627537
You're not the Kingpin, lardass.

>>93627547
Charlie Rowe probably would be able to deliver a quip well, unlike Holland.

Biggest problem is Tom's voice is too high. No one wants Spider-Man with a deep voice, but no one wants him to sound like Justin Bieber either. And the guy is 21. It's not like it's going to change.

>>93625866
>people moaning over a Entretainment weekly cover
shut the fuck up retards. it doesnt reflect what will be in the movie.
If the cover for Logan had bubbles of him saying "back in my old days i bla bla bla" would you say logan is a piece of shit?

>>93625935
>Teenagers say stupid shit like this all the time.
only the lil faggots

>>93627547
Charlie's look reminds me a lot of Garfield. Guy even played young version of Garfield's character in Never Let Me Go.

>>93627589
They likely want to eke 3 teen films out of Spidey, I don't see a big time-skip in the MCU.
Best not to go with an actual 15-16 yr old.

Why do people pretend like this isn't exactly how Spider-Man would be like in modern times? He's a teenager, stop trying to self-insert your 23 year old self into a 16 year old.

>>93627547
Looks like Spectacular Peter.

>>93627103
How fucking pathetic do you have to be to be this much of a company war fag?

>>93627590

Yeah man. It's not like all the other posters are cringe shit or anything

>>93627616
Yeah, but Spider-Man isn't supposed to sound like that. And there are loads of teenagers who have a Josh Keatonesque voice.

>>93627590
No because they wouldn't print something like that for Logan, because Logan wasn't that kind of movie. The ad campaign is supposed to be reflective of the mood of the movie. It's why they used Johnny Cash's Hurt instead of Uptown Funk. This vapidness captures the kind of movie Homecoming is.

>>93627679
>vapidness
jesus christ

>>93627623
Nigger, no intelligent 16 year old uses NBD

>>93627623
see
>>93625918
Peter is probably supposed to be geeking out on G-1 Transformers and Pepe-posting.

>>93627548
More /fit than you, faggot

>>93627623
Because I graduated high school last year, and I know for a fact a kid like Peter wouldn't do that.

>>93627692

He's right. This IS a soulless cash grab film that wont be rewarding at all.

>>93625866
People still read magazines?

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>>93625866
Why Spider-Man Doesn't Have Spider-Sense In The Marvel Cinematic Universe

>The goal behind the new Spider-Man, the one making his feature-length debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe with Spider-Man: Homecoming, was to deliver something different
>He's a sophomore in high school. He was recruited by an Avenger. And he has a tricked out suit, designed by Tony Stark
>Tom Holland's Spider-Man doesn't appear to have a Spider Sense. I asked Homecoming director Jon Watts about it, and he told me
>"I feel like we have seen a lot of Spider Sense in the previous films, so we didn't really lean into that as hard as they have in the previous films. But I do think it is a really interesting thing to explore."


http://comicbook.com/marvel/2017/07/03/spider-man-homecoming-spider-sense/
http://www.cinemablend.com/news/1676620/why-the-mcu-spider-man-doesnt-have-a-spider-sense

>>93626329
>Peter Parker needs to forever be a beta loser just like I was in high school!!!

Does this shit not become embarrassing for you to type out. Or do you just lack the self-awareness to know how this sounds.

>>93626459
There have been many examples of Peter being a angry bullied nerd but not the socially inept complete outcast your talking about. Besides this is based on Ultimate not the 60s version.

>>93625866
I don't care what /hm/ insists, this dude is fugly.

>>93627524
Forget Batman, I can't get over how shitty Cyborg looks. You know how in first grade you'd draw a robot, then add a shit-ton of unnecessary lines and shapes to fill in the empty space until you had an overdesigned monstrosity that looked completely terrible? That's what they did to Cyborg.

>>93628298
So it's something that develops over time. Not the worst thing. It gives him more of a challenge.

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>>93628369
At least the mole is gone.

https://youtu.be/cKW7NSgiCFo

>>Almost 5 million views.
Why is Parker so awful now?

>>93628298
Didn't Peter specifically dodge something coming from behind in Civil War? Or when he said "Something's wrong" before Ant-Man kicked him?

Watch this and try not to cringe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdDFpmNmor4

>meow! - Black Panther
If /co/ wasn't such a shitty board this thread wouldn't have this many replies.

Bunch of retards all of you.

>>93628604
Yeah, his eyes got bigger and he spun around in time to dodge the sign Bucky threw at him, and he started looking around and said "Hey guys something's not right" before Ant-Man flip-kicked him.

I think what they're saying is Spider Sense won't be a big moment in the movie, it'll just be Peter managing to dodge stuff normal people wouldn't have the reaction speed to. Everyone's making a big deal out of nothing.

>>93625866

It's NBD, just a magazine cover.

>>93628316
But Peter Parker was a beta loser in high school, that's his character.

>>93628076
This. If you fuckers had a clue then you'd know only retard 35+ year olds buy fucking Entertainment Weekly and this is a passable impression/stereotype of a millennial to shill to them. Who gives a fuck. The only person I know who still buys magazines is my mum and she only buys those tabloid things full of bullshit like Tom Cruise being gay and the Kardashians all being secretly pregnant.

t. 18 year old

>>93628975
Keyword is "was". He immediately normalfagged up as soon as he got super strength.

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>>93625866
>>93626197
#NotMySpideys

>>93627261
>Holland is the blandest mother fucTker in the whole damn MCU
Doctor Strange.

>>93626569
How can they be this retarded

>>93629112
Bring it, BEYonce

>>93628792
Well, the Civil War camera footage already contradicts Civil War.

>>93627547
Only Tom and Asa actually auditioned.
Asa doesn't look the part, but he was very awkward in Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children and would've fit the role better.

>>93627589
>>93627616
His voice is really fucking bad, and that's just how he regularly speaks too.
Even with his normal accent.

>>93627623
Nigga I'm 18 years old, I graduated last month.

>>93629193
False. They auditioned Tom Holland, Charlie Rowe, Charlie Plummer, Judah Lewis, Matthew Lintz, and Asa Butterfield, Asa was the frontrunner until he broke his non-disclosure agreement on Reddit. The two finalists were Tom Holland and Charlie Rowe. Sony wanted Rowe and Disney wanted Holland.

>>93629067
I love how you haven't even read that post and just started projecting at that anon to avoid your own issues, even after almost 2 hours.
Talk about embarassing.

>>93629058
It's still being shilled all over the Internet so it's clearly meant to be marketed towards everyone. Also what fucking middle aged woman cares about Spider Twink?

Fucking shill.

>>93629067
No he didn't. Read some comics shill.

>>93627783
>>93629263
>B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B--B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BUT MY BOSS SAID THAT THE ANALYTICS SHOWED YOU WERE LIKE THAT!!! PLEASE DON'T MAKE THEM TAKE MY HOT POCKETS AWAY!! PLEEEEEEEE

>>93629441
>No he didn't. Read some comics shill.
Yep. He even wore the glasses until Flash broke them and he figured he didn't need them anymore.

>>93625945
Get out

>>93629487
>Normalfags dont wear glasses

Shill are you even trying?

>>93628379
Cyborg really does have that unfinished look with the sharp edges and all. Makes me think he was designed by Michael Bay. And his energy core is red when I always thought it was blue like in the first Teen Titans cartoons. That one Brother Blood episode where Cyborg goes all "it's not the machine, it's ME" and reassembles made me think he was cool as fuck. This is just sad.

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>>93629193
>Asa doesn't look the part
Yeah, but that's mostly because of his eye color. If he wore brown contacts, he'd look a lot more like Peter.

>>93626197
This guy is so gross looking, that fucking neck man.

>>93629564
Maybe if Holland had a neck he could be as tall as the real Spider-Man

>>93625866
Awful suit design

>>93629608
He'd need like 12 inches of neck for that!

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>>93629620
ASM 2 suit was the best suit.

>>93625978
>>No punching
So it's true to the 90s show?

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>>93629564
Eh, that's just the angle and hairstyle. He looked better when his hair wasn't spiked up all Edward Culleny

>>93625918
The Simpson's is honestly such a great show, at least until the 8th season.

Also, totally would've saved that pic if it wasn't for the retarded watermark.

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>>93629385
Wasn't Logan Lerman on the shortlist too?

>>93629745
>He looks better when his hair is hiding most of his features.
Ok

>>93629644
His twink ass probably gets 12 inches every night. Sinister six on both sides

>>93629782
He was rumored along with Dylan O'Brien, but I'm fairly sure those were just choices fans wanted and not the studios. Hell, rumor may have started here.

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>>93629788

>>93629385
No, only Asa and Holland auditioned. Fiege or RDJ confirmed it back when it first happened, I can't find the article now, the other actors were just rumored.

>>93629563
His hair is too dark too.

>>93630384
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/spider-man-hopefuls-screen-test-798995

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>>93630401
Better?

>>93626569
>12 billion in profits over 5 years
Fucking kills me everytime. How do these people get to be in such high positions while being so fucking stupid?

>>93630569
Perfect actually. Looks like a better Peter than Tom.

>>93626432
Can't tell if it's nostalgia or if the original Spider-Man movies really were as good as I remember them

>>93627589
>>93629239
My God. The voice is absolutely the worst part of Tom Holland's Spider-Man. He sounds like he just inhaled a tank of helium.
>And the guy is 21. It's not like it's going to change.
shit

>>93626569
you know this one in particular was fake right?

>>93630641
The movies were good, but Tobey's performance does not hold up. He's significantly better than Holland, but not as good as Garfield. Unfortunate thing is that Tobey- who was not a great Spider-Man- got a great script and production, and Garfield- who was actually pretty good- got neither.

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>>93625866

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>THIS is still the most accurate on screen portrayal of Peter Parker/Spider-Man

>>93630805
Please tell me this isn't real
>COMICS

>>93629666
My nigga.

>>93626531
It was pretty good.

It's definitely worth checking out at a theater with good sound.

>>93630988
>Cast him as quicksliver
>use him in one movie then killed him off

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>>93631488
His friend was a better Quicksilver.

>>93629666
Damn right, Satan.

>>93630569
WIth the blue eyes and black hair, I'd see him as Tim Drake or a younger Dick Grayson.

>>93626303
Perfect.

>>93625866
Wow... It's almost as if Peter Parker is a teenager or something...

>>93632080
Probably 1% of teenagers talk like that.

>>93629819
Either of those two options would have been pretty good.

>>93632158
If you say so, grandpa.

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>>93625866
For a moment I thought it was going to be a pic of image related.

>>93633962
Photoshop job is comparable to the original cover.

>>93632158
He's a new Yorker. Always on the cutting edge of being trendy

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>>93635145
When I went to New York years ago, I was told that a common phrase for cool was "beast." Is that true and do they still say it? Can't be weirder than the freaks in San Francisco who say "hella."

>>93625866
He looks like he's sending lewds to Tony.

>>93625895
>extreme forms of experiential exercise
>veganism

Sure, grandpa. Also, has that mail been confirmed as legit? If so, I didn't know suits behave EXACTLY like they are portrayed in parodies.

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>>93635564
It's real.

https://wikileaks.org/sony/emails/emailid/93948

>>93627537
Have you seen Holland without a shirt? The guy's a dancer and made his own stunts in the movie

>>93626097
>WOW DEFINITELY PAID REVIEWS
>WW HAS A GOOD RT SCORE MARVEL BTFO
Cringe

>>93633420
Faggot there are literal teens ITT who debunk your claim.

>>93630991
It's real, and it's Jeph Loeb.

In two years we will see Spidey with a spinner.

it's going to be garbage, but they paid off the journalists on the idea that it's marvel not sony

SPIDERMAN RULEZ!

Why are you guys acting like this is stuff Spider-Man said and not just some bullshit copy editor for a sad magazine?

>>93625866

>"Iron Man and totally fight this guy looks like Birdman"

It's stunning, in a way. Sony and Kevin Feige have managed to do the exact thing that Stan Lee was trying to avoid when he created the character of Spider-Man.

Turned him into a wannabe teenage sidekick.

Ah well, what do they care. The movie will make a ton of money because it's another Marvel Studios production. Those guys could shit in a box like deranged cats, and people would run up to have a whiff while paying fifteen dollars.

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DAMM İT british scums are making american movies bad.....and no im not american i just think ....."MR.STARKKK" you remember this line...if you watched civil war this will give you ptsd why do they get such a bad actors this new spider-man is more annoying then andrew...and thats saying something

>>93626197
Sorry for not being happy Voldemort.

>>93626531
Do it. It was fun.

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>>93626569
>2 billion off of Sinister Six

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>>93625895
>humble-brag
Wittels is rolling in his grave

>>93626197
I actually enjoyed ASM and its costumes. Would of have been better if he had a belt like the one in the videogame version.

>>93625866

>Taking selfie
>looking at non-diegetic camera instead of phone

DROPPED

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>>93639593
Yeah but at the same time, original Spidey was harsh as hell. That's one of the main ways every film version of him has been wrong. Peter was a smartass to everyone in and out of the suit. He'd tell Flash Thomson to fuck off out of costume then tell Iron Man to mind his own damned business as Spidey.

>>93635174
Beast was like 7 years ago.

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#ForeverMySpidey

>>93641235
Man, that Spidey looks like shitty.

>>93642637
Kirby was never able to draw Ditko designs

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>>93627623

>your 23 year old self
>check 2017-23 on pocket calculator
>people who were born as recently as 1994 are now literally being referenced as too old to understand teenagers

>>93641961
#ImwithTugboat

>>93625895
>day in the life of me
I bet that's the origin of the opening sequence in Homecoming

>>93626604
shill.

>>93626569
How could the replies to this email have been anything but "how much coke have you done since that 5PM note?"

>>93626774
>>93627186

sony shill.
>>93627103
marvel shill.

>>93627414
faggot

>>93627590
Logan is a piece of shit.

>>93642756
This place is a cesspool if shills and summerfags

even wednesdays suck sometimes when the YAfags are shilling insufferably.

>>93629385
Sony can't choose anyone or anything even if they wanted too because they just foot the bill and handle distribution also it's not their cinematic universe which they zero authority over it.

>>93626184
>tfw peter converts to atheism

>>93625866
Sony fucking ruins everything
If he was a social outcast he wouldn't text like that
Sure he'd send shitty memes to friends but not fucking emojis o NBD
Fuck Sony and fuck their executives and fuck the stupid bitch with her stupid ideas
Literally the only working idea was Snapchat
The fucking shitty acronyms and emojis and even considering shitty techno dubstep music to pander was fucking cringeworthy
Fuck any pascal, I hope her fucking neck snaps in a car fire

>>93627785
>IS
>won't be
You're mixing your tenses, fuckshit. Is there a reason for that?

>>93644573
Pete was never that level of an outcast. He was well put together and well liked.

Your notion awkward Steve Urkle version of Peter is entirely formed by Sam Raimi and that was not at all how Pete is shown to be.

>>93626432
>My cousin saw him building a nest in the Lincoln Centre Fountain
Oh Raimi, you're so funny.

>teenager acts like a teenager

whoa

wow

>>93628792
I wouldn't be so sure Anon. Optimistically speaking, it just means we won't get "whoa look he can see the fly buzzing before Flash punches him" scene and he'll just dodge attacks or cars or whatever.

>>93629666
Fuck yes Anon. It was beautiful.

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>>93625866
>but teens actually talk like that
Nobody cares or wants to see teens acting like they actually do, ever. In most movies involving teens they don't act like they do, get killed when they act like teens, or it's a shitty drama marketed towards teens. The fact is that teens are shit no matter the generation.

>>93644717
Early Pete was an asshole. If you're going to bring him into modern times he'd be that kid who thinks he was above all of this texting and social media stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv8Wp0Dcvc0

This got me pretty excited.

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>>93644963
Early Pete was based af.

>>93643076
Holy autism

>>93645098
That still proves my point, he's acting as if he's above it all by going against what's popular. Modern Peter wouldn't be texting like on the cover

>>93645194
He's going against the protesting idiots because they're morons, not because it's contarian. Just look at his chosen group of friends who clearly agree.

>>93626074
>does whatever a second reboot can
Its crazy we live in such an uncreative time a second reboot is common enough to have defining characteristics.

>>93645062
12 year old fuck off

>>93645263
Are they? I can't think of any. It's just wordplay on the cartoon's song, it's there because critics thought the movie feels fresh enough to justify its existence

>>93635688
HAHAHAHA

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>>93625866
>Please tell me we don't live in the darkest timeline.

anon, if I denied that, I'd be forced to lie.

>>93646752
You don't realize how angry I am.

The infinite being Eternity can't measure how much angry I am.

>>93629067
>I don't read comics at all, everything I want to do is shill for MCUck
gtfo

>>93639713
>Capital i
You certainly are a Turk my fellow roach

Why is Peter suddenly a hyperactive fanboy?

>>93625918
>>93625866
>>93625935
You guys realize this is not how teenagers talk like? This is some 40-year old EW editor's idea of how teenagers talk like. This sounds painfully forced and stiff.

>>93641961
LOL

>>93626432
Bring back Raimi, Garfield, Stone, Simmons, Dafoe, DeHaan, Molina, Banks, Dunst, and Church.

>>93649065
That's what I said. this isn't script from the movie, its what some bullshit EW editor thought was clever

>>93645098
>they're protesting tonight's protest meeting
Other than that, this is horrible.

>>93647954
They turned him into Miles.

>>93651357
No they didn't. If they turned him into Miles, he'd have no personality.

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>>93625895
I know this is gonna suck to hear, but it's their job to come up with how to appeal to the new generation. It was our job to grow out of cape shit and video games and leave them to the generation of kids and teens after us. We weren't suppose to stick around to watch our heroes get passed around like the money making sluts they are.

>>93626329
>Peter was never fucking "in"
I remember seeing book titles in Peter's room about existentialism and Kierkergaard. He was always a little bit of an outsider who was thoughtfully working through things about life.
He also had these spider powers that made him, if not super, definitely superior to the average joe. That this obliged him to fight the darkness resonated with me as a kid.
Now he's a gadgeteer like Stark and reeks of focus group and market research.
Of course he's on his phone.

>>93652648
MCU Peter doesn't have a personality.

>>93652648
Miles is lightweight a fanboy since he tried really hard to be an Ultimate and his whole what would Peter do.

>>93629263
Ayyye I gradutated two months ago congratulations

>>93653001
Were you able to lose your virginity?

>>93625895
here is an idea
milenials dont like watching other milenials on movies

>>93653026
He's here so what do you think ?

>>93653026
Uh not yet but i will soon?

>>93652725
under rated post.
people not growing out of capeshit is what made them go all dark and grim to stay "serious" so 30 years after Frank Miller's Dark Knight we get a confused Batman vs Superman mess that doesn't know who it's aimed at.
Manchild critics ruined what they loved by being manchildren.

>>93652648
The entire plot of Homecoming is taken from the first few Miles comics.
And Ned Leeds is Ganke. They even made Midtown a private school, has any Spider-Man went to a private high school besides Miles?
first few Miles comics
>I need to prove my worth to black Fury, that I can be Spider-Man and do things on my own
Homecoming
>I need to prove my worth to Uncle Tony, that I can be Spider-Man and do things on my own

>>93653067
You will soon, like, you have a girlfriend or something? Or a girl is interested in you?

>>93653202
I don't have a girlfriend or anything like that for now and right now i'm not really intersted with anyone at the moment I'm just enjoying my summer when i mean soon i mean in college.

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>>93625866
True milenial peter

>>93653266
okay, good. stay safe.

>>93653359
Yeah man stay safe in these streets as well

>>93629507
>shill shill shill shill shill
Are you retarded

>>93653335
iLOL'd out loud

>>93625866
What the fuck is GLOW?

>>93627623
Because he fucking wouldn't
There is not one goddamn teenager who isn't an absolute mindless drone that actually talks like that
The overuse of emojis, the blatant narcissism isn't just out of place for a teen, it's out of place for a character like fucking Peter Parker
Stop fucking acting like you suddenly know exactly what teenagers or children think
>HOHO JIM I DARE SAY THEM KIDDOS SURE DO LOVE THEMSELVES THAT UH EHATS THAT THING CALLED AGAIN
>OH YES THAT THING MY CHILD DOES IN HIS ROOM, HE SAYS HES DOING PEWDIEPIE
>YES JIM ALL THE KIDS ARE DOING PEWDIEPIE NOWADAYS
>HAHA MAYBE WE SHOULD MARKET IT TO THEM
>YES THEYLL LOVE GREAT IDEA JIM
>HAHA REMEMEBR WHEN WE PUT REPETITIVE POP SONGS IN EVERY MOVIE THAT WORKED OUT GREAT
>HAHA YES JIM IT DID
fuck you

>>93653757
Boxing show with Alison Brie.

as a long time spiderman fan I gotta say...

This movie looks like ass and I'm going to go see Baby Driver instead.

Fuck you Sony

>>93625866
As a man of now 20 who grew up with the times and still isn't that much different from the average 16 year old anyways considering it's the same media we're all consuming, let me correct this and translate it into how a regular "meme surfing" teen would say
The speech in the photo is usually relegated to extremely stupid teenagers, drones, the basic retards that clutter up everything, as well as "scene" girls and womanlets who think they're tough, or Latinas and black chicks
An actual teen would say
>What the fuck
Not OMG like a spastic retard
Nobody fucking says NBD and that sounds narcissistic as fuck, which doesn't fit the character or the average teen
>All those emojis
Fuck no
It takes a special kind of retard who grows into an adult still being a retard to use those emojis, that's the aunt who posts laughing crying face emojis on every post and calls people sweetie when they disagree
That's sassy black girl shit
Doesn't fit the character, doesn't fit a teenager
>The use of the word totally
What the fuck even
OH MAN I TOTALLY ATE SOME RAMEN
is Peter conceptually retarded, like in theory is he retarded because that's what this poster sounds like, and if he's a fucking superhero he wouldn't be such a narcissistic douche about it he'd be in awe at the fact that he can do all this shit and meet all these people
This stupid fucking poster even contradicts the character in the fucking movie
>Aunt may
Why does he refer to her in third person?
Why is this speech so fucking awkward?
Who is he even fucking texting?
>The fucking emoji at the end if the sentence
It's not fucking hieroglyphics people don't convey emotion through emojis fucking sony you absolute babbling retards
>The fucking overly energetic acronym speak
BTW DID YOU DO THAT THING THAT HAPPENED
no
Nobody fucking emphasizes things with caps mid sentence unless they're actually retarded
>Like WOW like I ATE a bowl of SPAGHETTI and it was GOOD
Especially not about a topic mundane as show info

>>93625866
HOW DARE THEY MAKE PETER PARKER/SPIDER-MAN A CHEEKY TEENAGER! THIS TOTALLY SHITS ALL OVER AND RUINS THE CHARACTER!

>>93625866

>the genie is dead
>princess Leia dead, her mom who was in Singing in the Rain probably killed herself a day later.
>prof. Shape is dead
>the father of Frank Face is dead
>Sale is dead
>trump is president
>marvel is on auto-destroy
>Alison Brie showed her tits. From afar after significant weight loss.
>we are spied on by the things we buy
>we get involved in wars not to ensure safety or prevent attacks, but to ensure private interests that depend on inspiring attacks
>a Texas-wide death-zone exists in the middle of the Pacific, because of how much trash concentrates there, in its center it so dense you could stand on the isle of trash and for hundreds of miles around than microscopic plastic particules permeate the water so that there not even plankton

Seriously, if you didn't know by now....

>>93630991
oh fuck you made me look
>i'm still clenching my teeth and cringing over that

oh boo feckin hoo it's just a damn rag cover

>>93636273
MODS MODS WE GOT AN UNDERAGEB&