Think of a villain, can be a cape, can be a non-cape You now

>Morbius
It's fine, I wasn't using that blood anyway.

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>Share an apartment with the Joker
>I dress up as a giant bat and brutally rape him

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>>93517755
>Darkseid won't get off the fucking couch
>Everything I try to vacuum he just fucking sit there
>He won't move even when the delivery he ordered came to the door. He literally use a mother box to boom the pizza in
>I can't say shit because he Omega Sanctioned the guy who had the lease before me
>He doesn't even plan any sinister shit, he just sit there looking like a potato 24/7
>He just sit there menacingly watching the Home Shopping Channel and wait for deals on recliners

>Doom
>Every conversation devolved into how Reed Richards sucks
>Saw his Room once and the wallpaper is RR face littered with obscenities
>He never takes a shower due to the armour and so always reeks of something that can only be described as if someone pissed on iron

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>>93517941
>You can't sleep because he literally boom tubes everything

>Venom
>Creepy couple, the sticky black shit even tried making a move on me
>If you don't respect his pronouns of them/their he gets pissed off at you
>Drools fucking everywhere, so I have to constantly mop the kitchen

>The Dark Incal

He's kind of a downer, but when his twin visits he's always a bro

>>93517755
FUCK, I'm dead.
I'm so dead.
Cain (the strange Talent of Luther Strode)

>Come home from work
>Open door and immediately notice bloody foot prints all over the floor
>sigh
>walk into living room, see Cains manservant wrapping ANOTHER serial killer in bandages and nailing him to our wall.
>Shake head and just ignore it as I walk to my room.
>As I'm heading out of the living room feel a wet spray hit the back of my neck.
>Reach back an touch the back of my head
>It's covered in blood
>ANGRYJACKMAN.gif
>Just start screaming out curses, and bitching that the house is a mess and the corpses are always drawing flies and creating maggots.
>Bitch about his bondage buddies, and how they're always here but never chip in for shit.
>Bitch about his cunt girlfriend and how she's always talking down to me but doesn't seem to be good for much other than sucking his dick
>Bitch about how...
>Tooth shoots through my fucking skull
>Should have taken that room that non binary attack helicopter wolf kin was renting.

>>93518285
Lol

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>>93517755
>Professor Zoom

Hey now!

>Every conversation somehow ends up being about how much Barry sucks.
>Zoom eventually decides our room is shit, kills some other dude and moves us there.
>Threatens to erase me from existence if I bother him when he's doing Speed Force experiments.
>But at least he makes a mean cup of java.

>>93517755
Lobo
>constantly plays Motorhead and Metallica 24/7
>computers are full of Dolphin Porn
>fucking Bike Parts everywhere

fucking Lobo at least he pays the rent

>>93518466
>He takes ages in the shower in the morning
>Even though he could literally do it in 10 seconds
Fuck that guy

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Tonight on a very special episode of Manta and Me:
>Manta's turn to cook tonight, makes a FANTASTIC Maryland crab soup
>Kind of a pain in the ass I have to keep signing packages containing new exotic fish for his saltwater fish tank. The asshole ends up killing them every other week in a pissed off rage because of whatever Arthur story he tells me
>We had to get a new apartment that was beachside, and far away from a school zone. Shit isnt cheap, but the guy does pay his share of the rent. Apparently the landlord takes ship salvage
>Used to be piss pants afraid of him, but after one "Fuck Aquaman" comment hes pretty chill

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>Deathstroke

Oh boy...

>come home from work
>it was a productive day, and progress on that cool new start up idea was made
>open the door
>see Slade, naked, watching the news while sitting on my couch and eating boiled broccoli
>like, not with oil or lemon or anything, just... boiled broccoli
>"uh, do you think you could put some pants on, cause Alexandra will be here soon enough"
>Alexandra is anon's girlfriend
>"...yeah, sure"
>go to my room to plan ahead
>take a nap
>go to the market
>come back
>Slade's gone
>"huh, guess he's a swell guy after all"
>cook... for a couple of hours
>everything's ready
>waiting for Alexandra to arrive
>any minute now
>time passed
>I call
>no answer
>get worried
>go to her house
>nobody answers
>go back home
>eat alone while sobbing
>go to sleep
>morning comes
>the door creaks
>Slade enters
>"where have you been man"
>"on a job... and then with a girl"
>"oh, uh, cool"
>"she was supposed to meet someone here, but... regardless, how did your night go? I was kind enough to clear out..."
>realization hits me
>I got Slade'd
>by Slade's 10 inch cock
>turn around
>head for the window
>jump
>I now have 10 broken bones
>Slade is still there, Slading Alexandra
>mfw

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>bird shit is fucking EVERYWHERE and I have to clean it
>AC is turned low for him and his penguins so it's always cold
>his birds are always knocking things over
>constant smell of raw fish
>forces me to recite passages of Shakespeare with him
>he's obviously getting the quotes wrong but I can't say anything
>can't bring friends over since they'll poke fun at him and end up suffering horrible deaths
>can't bring women over either
>can't even complain since he pays for everything and pulls me out of any trouble I get into

Sigh, could be worse. At least he is out most of the time and he keeps to himself.
At least I'm not living with The Joker.

>>93517755
>Be me
>25 year old LSP.
>Move in with these two lesbians.
>I don't judge, but one of them is green, the other has a weird clown fetish.
>Every night, I hear those two going at it.
>The green one keeps on harping on about how we need to save the rainforests n' shit, then complains when I don't eat my vegetables.
>Finally get close enough to the clown girl to talk to her. She aparently got out of an abusive relationship with some clown dickhole over in Gotham. Don't know why she still acts like she really likes him if she eloped with the green bitch.
>One night, me and Clown get wasted and I ask her if Green's pussy tastes like lawnmower clippings. She offers to let me try.
>Green agrees. She was surprisingly nice about this... Indeed, it does. Clown makes me eat her out too.
>Suddenly, Green telIs me that she wants to experiment. I find out that all of those plants she was growing weren't just organic home-produce.
>Next thing I know, i'm getting ass-raped by a giant plant monster.
>After ages, i go back to my room to cry. Those two laugh their tits off about it.
>Those two moved out after one night. I think it had something to do with the cops. I miss them, but jokes on them, guess who has their own plant-based ass-fucker and a brand new fetish?

>Slade
>tfw get STROKED two chapters in
Aw yis

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>>93517755
>Looking for flat-mate, see this ad "Older gentleman looking for apartment. Must like animals." sure I like animals, so I take him in.
>"Older Gentleman" looks about 70 and I think is a pedophile because he keeps talking about getting beat by some 10 year old boy.
>"Must like Animals" means he moves in with an entire fucking menagerie. He has taken over every single fucking room in my flat, except my bedroom, but I suspect that his termite collection is somewhere under my bed.
>Can't get into the TV room because of the fucking snake-cages, can't get into his bedroom because he's got some giant mutant fucking frog in there, kitchen is over-run by rats (Like that Pixar movie, only unhygienic as fuck)
>He's alright to talk with, but if you get him drunk and all he will do is talk your fucking ears off with useless fucking animal facts. I swear to god, if this guy tells me one more time that "Ants are indigenous to every continent except ANT-Arctica" one more time, i'm gonna swing for him.
>Not all bad. Guy REEALLY loves his hookers and usually buys one for me. I find it weird that he insists on calling one of them Gwen and even more offputting when I hear, from his room, him shout "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, TENNYSON!!!" at the point of climax.
>Dude has issues, but I've kinda grown to like him. He's an asshole, but dammit, he's my asshole.