>Peter, my yoga class tonight got cancelled. Can you be a

>>93202297
Remember when the Aunt May in the last Spider-Man movies talked about how much her character and those movies sucked ass and she just did the movies as a favor?

>>93202297
eh i wish she was gray.

I approve of hot Aunt May. She's lonely after Ben passed

>>93202297
First Martha Kent now Aunt May. What the hell happened to the two most iconic capeshit mother figures?

>>93202297
Do you think Ben was just as young as her or was he an older guy with money that got a trophy wife?

>>93202524
Tony is his Uncle Ben

>>93202503
Advances in medical science led to healthier longer lives and younger bodies.

>>93202503
They realize that they're mother figures, not grandmother figures

>>93202297
Young Aunt May bothers the shit out of me. Completely ignores how her old age and failing health were a huge source of conflict in the source material.

>>93202297
>can i smell your farts this time Aunt Meme?

>>93202297
No way, fag.

>>93202597
Eh, she'll just get some disease at some point. Hot younger May bothers me too but it's mostly just "not muh".

>>93202597
I remember that in the 90s cartoon Peter wouldn't
tell her about being spiderman cause he feared
that she couldn't take the surprise and get a
heart attack or somethin

>>93202418
Remember when the Aunt May in the first Spider-man movies was amazing?

>>93202597
Why most aunts aren't 40 years older than their nieces. If anything it makes sense for her to be young.

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>>93202297
>>93202790
uh oh

>>93202297
wait a second, yoga class at night? where the hell does she live that there are yoga classes at night? all the ones in my area are only between 8am and 12pm with 1 at 5am on Friday morning; I checked

On one hand, I get that it's more realistic for Aunt May to be in her 50s instead of a little old lady. But it still feels weird.

>>93202418
And she was absolutely right. Those movies were shit.

>>93202790
Yeah, Rosemary Harris was a gem in those movies.

>>93202891
why did you check that

>>93203009
The woman I'm in love with (my aunt) does yoga and I stalk her.

>>93202297
So it's one of those patreon porn games now. Ok.
>Peter, my yoga class tonight got cancelled. Can you be a sweetheart and help your dear old aunt stretch?
> - Sorry, I have too much homework (Lie, -10 rel)
> - Yeah sure, be right there in a sec (2 hours, +10 rel)
> - I'm gonna stretch you with something old alright. ( 30% chance, +10 love, +15 rel)

Which one will /co/ choose?

>>93202597
>Young people can't have failing health

>>93202891
NYC definitely has late night yoga.

>>93202597
How old are your aunts? Mine are barely approaching 60 and I'm 29. I never got why Aunt May was always depicted as an 80 year old when Peter isn't even out of highschool.

>>93202450
She is but you can't see it.

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>>93203189
But I wanna see it.

>>93203009
yoga is a good way to build strength and muscle tone without looking like a fucking freak

plus you meet hot people like, constantly

>>93203030
Pics or gtfo

>>93203142
I just assumed Peter's grandparents had his dad when Uncle Ben was an adult or something.

>>93203142
>29
>still visiting 4chan

>>93202597
You know, that source material that has been adapted twice already. The one where, currently, Aunt May isn't even important anymore and where she actually died once.

>>93203298
>he doesn't know.

How old are May and Ben supposed to be in 616? I remember reading that they're like 20 years older than the other kids' parents.

>>93202503
To be fair she's his aunt, not his grandmother.

Plus its CURRENT YEAR afterall, advances in medicine and cosmetics mean people can look younger for longer.

>>93203298
I'm 29 too. What's that statement of yours supposed to mean?

>>93202597
You mean how she would constantly be resurrected at the expense of Peter's character as an adult? Fuck off Anon.

>>93203274
You'll never make it with that kinda attitude brah.

>>93203298
I'm 30 last month.

>>93203338
I tried looking, but no definitive number.

>>93203404
/fit/ please leave

>>93203333
Bless him. He'll learn.
DO IT FOR HER

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>>93203333
>>93203384
>>93203412
>>93203467

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>>93202297
Sure thing auntie, ehehehehehe

>>93203475
Nah, I've had sex a few times. Wasn't all that great

>>93203298
>I'm 28
>been here since 2004
The ride never ends

>>93203298
>implying no one over 24 ever visits this site

Get a summer job, kid.

>>93203515
Did you loved her?
In my experience, hookers doesn't feel as great as someone you feel something, I got depressed the day after because of it.

>>93203298
I'm 70 year old neet virgin who is waiting for parents to die to get their money.

>>93203587
What will you even do with that money? Buy more diapers, prunes and loli doujins?

So who would you cast as Aunt May? Because I would've gotten Laura Roslin's actor.

>>93203298
>that moment when your 15 year old son already grew out of comics
I don't know who is more dissapointed of the other.

>>93203298
Don't worry. In ten years you'll wonder how is it possible you haven't left this place yet. Your life will go on ( I got married, have a full time job, etc) yet you can't seem to escape the grasp this place holds on you. Still better than going to reddit though.

>>93202891
where do you live? the countryside?

>>93203764
>I got married, have a full time job
Prove it.

Is there a reason they decided to make Aunt May a hot young woman?

>>93203298
Why would I want to ever leave? This place is fucking hilarious. There's always some shit happening that you can always count on people behaving like retards about it. If I'm ever down, I only have to enter here and find a thread and in 5 or 10 minutes I'm laughing my ass off from all the retardness. It's great.

Now, spending all your day here on the other hand, that might be sad.

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>>93203901

>>93203872
She's not that young, just less ridiculously old as classic Aunt May.

>>93203298
Teenagers shouldn't be allowed on the Internet. You cause all the problems.

>>93203943
>>93203939

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Did someone ask for sexy aunt may?

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>>93203298

>>93204279
It's Ultimate Universe canon!

>>93202764
Yup, that's actually from the source material too.

>>93202831
>>93203142
I have Aunts that are around 30-40 years older than me. It's not that uncommon in large families, especially when divorces are involved.
Her being 60 is a little weird, but I could buy it depending on the family tree.

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Best Aunt May. She still looked old but was also hot.

>>93204551
Thats an ugly chin

>>93204571
At least she has a chin unlike you, fatty

>>93204601
If I was a fatty wouldn't I have multiple chins?

>>93204722
Your neck ate your chin. That's why you grew a neckbeard

>>93204759
I wish, hate shaving, but hate facial hair more.

>>93202418
She wasn't wrong though.

Also hot May is hot, but that is fucking stupid. Rosemary Harris is the true Aunt May.

>>93202297
>your dear old aunt
>old
You don't get to play that when you cast a woman in her late 40's who looks like she's in her late 20's

>>93204809
She does not look like she's in her late 20's, unless she aged prematurely.

So will they do the "Peter's parents used to be SHIELD agents" thing now that they're connected or sweep that aside? Because I hope the latter.

>>93203052
It's more likely in old age and it makes it easier for Peter to hide his identity because Tge disparity in age makes it easier to bullshit and also makes it feel more like betrayal if May finds out he's lying.

>>93203587
How did you make it so long without a job? Lived off your parents the entire time?

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>>93202297
Is this canon?

>>93202297
In a film from the fifties, she could have played a teenager. How times change.

>>93203298
>>93203475
summer was a mistake

>>93205226
it was considered scandalous back then. Hollywood still does it today, only with teenagers in high school. They never get 15yo for 15yo or 15yo, 16yo for 16yo, they get 20 year olds or older because of "muh acting experience" and "you can't show young people having sex and taking drugs, but you can show 22 year olds pretending to be 16 year olds doing the same thing!"

>>93205455
I even forgot they did that in this fucking movie. That's how prevalent it is. 21 year old plays a 15 year old.

>>93204279
no, no one asked for trouble

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>>93202297
Stay away from my nephew.

>>93204601
>>93204759

Savage.

>>93202503
She's supposed to look like a teenager's mother not you're mother. oldfag

>>93205455
There's also that pesky thing where teenagers legally can't work the same amount of hours as an adult and the issue of school work/travel.

>>93205019
In my heart it is

>>93204279
>condoms in 1950's
Yeah, nah.

>>93206615
That took place in the 1980's

>>93203030
Peter?

>>93202790

Raimi's Spider-man just generally had all around fantastic casting. Everybody felt perfect in their role.

>>93206615
Amusing detour, people have had 'condoms' since way back in the antiquities.

Mankind really likes to fuck, and not always have it result in children

>>93206793
Yo, that's why the Romans made that contraceptive plant extinct.

>>93206766
Bullshit. MJ was awful, and Peter was way too quiet and reserved
Stop acting like they had no flaws.

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>>93202297

>>93206615
Yeah dude, no way they had condoms in the 1950's! Also there was no color in the world until they invented it in color-TVs!

>>93204551
Came here to say that.

>>93205019
>a NORMAN JEWISON film

>>93207565
director of MOONSTRUCK, which is an excellent film

>>93202418
>the Aunt May in the last Spider-Man movies

That literally who? Why would anyone ever remember that oscar-winning actress?

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>>93202297
>Oh yeah that's it, Peter. You're doing so good...

>>93202297
If May gets preggers with the baby of Peter how could that be named??? His niece-son???

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>>93207835
>His niece-son???

>make superhuman incest baby
>its a mayonnaise.

>>93203298
I'm 30 with 14 year old niece. According to "not muh" I should be a bumbling old man by now instead of a /bwg/ fit man slut.

>>93202297
I'd eat her wheat-cakes.

>>93208128
>14 year old niece
Pics or gtfo.

>>93208128
>>93208222
I agree, pics are needed.
You can't just say that and expect people to do nothing.

>>93206919
Those bastards.

>>93208500
At least they're all dead now.

nice...

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>>93202891
>where the hell does she live

>>93202297
Peter helps,
Gets flustered by Aunt May Cleav,
Fractures her leg in 6 places because of reactionary spider strength.

I'm 40, have 2 nieces who are 17 & 18, respectively.

Their girlfriends think I'm hot.
I expect Peters friends want to bang his aunt, just like my nieces friends want to bang me. (Or act like they do anyway).
What I'm saying, is that I'm basically the male version of Marisa Tomei.
It's so hard not to act like a dirty old man. So damn hard.

>>93209428
>2 nieces who are 17 & 18
Pics or GTFO

>>93209428
please leave

>>93208222
>>93208314
>wanting pics of the neice and not the "/bwg/ fit man slut"
What are you, straight?

>>93202503

It's 2017 dude. That's what 50something women look lime nowadays. She is still the exact right age to be his grandmother. Get out of the house you neckbeard!

>>93209549
You don't think he's tried?
Do you know where we are?

>>93205019
Man, that young Tony CGI was so fake.

>>93202891
>where the hell does she live that there are yoga classes at night?

Do you live in the middle of nowhere? Are you smackdab in the middle of Bumblefuck, Kansas or something?

>>93204322
Wait, really?!

>>93207835
It would be his son (or daughter) and his 1st cousin.

>>93208643
They wouldn't be if they didn't use condoms!

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Remember when Spider-Man movies had scenes like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wes8IR-yGrU

>>93203298
>Under 18
>Posting on 4chan

The things you spergs get mad about. The color of Superman's underwear and the color of Aunt May's hair. I've said it before and will say it again, pleasing nerds is fucking impossible and completely not worth the effort.

>>93203298
What the fuck is wrong with kids these days?

Go learn how to wipe your ass properly.

>>93210934
Or you could just get THE FUCKING COLOR RIGHT!!!!

rrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>93205019
does this mean the wrestler is also canon?

>>93210934
. Young May isn't even the worst part, the real problem is Tom Holland's shitty Spider-Man portrayal.

>>93210934
HIS
ARMS
ARE
NOT
BLUE

>>93210877
Shit scene
Fuck Emo Peter
I hope Tom Hiddleston is good as Spidey

>>93207835
Weren't May and Peter non-blood related?

>>93211079
don't ruin it for us

>>93211079
>implying Trouble isn't canon

>>93203142
I'm the youngest of a sizable family, and my dad was the youngest of a big family. So my aunts are ancient

>>93207122
MJ had PERFECT casting, the character was written like shit

>>93211182
This is proof that opinions can be wrong

>>93211182
Who cares about that if the script and direction is shit

>>93203298
You poor poor deluded fool. See you in ten years.

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>>93202297

>>93209036
Does NOBODY own the DVD?

>>93211540
>2015+2
>owning physical media

>>93202891

t. flyover country

>>93206288
> you're mother. oldfag

Oldfag I may be, but at least schools back in my day could teach me how to spell properly.

>>93202790
>>93202987

Is she still alive? Don't tell me she's dead

>>93211297
I fucking hope she's dead and not wasting my taxes.

>>93203298
anon.

how many levels of passing the sun are you on...?

your like a baby.

this anon is 38.

seriously oldballs.

>Mhmm Oh god Peter you're so much bigger than that manlet Tony Stark!

>>93203298
Im 28 and have lurked since Rozen Maiden, or whatever it was called, spawned desu posting.

>>93203298
I'm 28 but I came here late, just like two years ago.

>>93212469
Go on

>>93211412
This can't be real. It's a shop or something.

>>93209794
No, I'm a lolicon.

>>93202418
Just like everyone involved in that shitshow except for Andrew Garfield who got BTFO the most.

>>93202597
MCU Peter is like 15 years old it doesn't make sense for his aunt to be an octogenarian.

You're just crying >not muh.

>>93203035
>not going the Uncle Tony route
Shit taste.

>>93216541
what if Uncle Ben liked older women?

>>93203298
4chan itself is like 15 years old. People who were your age (>18) back then have grown.

>>93211032
>Mikey Rourke went onto became Whiplash
>Bonesaw had a match with him somewhere along the line before being fucked up by Peter

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>>93211071
>Shit scene

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>>93206766
>Raimi's Spider-man just generally had all around fantastic casting

>>93216664
He said Raimi's Spider-Man, anon. The Venom shit was forced by Sony.

>>93204358
Peter isn't from a large family though

for those who are skeptical about mainstream may's age compared to peter's, I'm kinda in a similar situation
>father was around 15-20 years younger than oldest sibling
>I was born when my dad was 31
>by the time I'd be 16 (peter's age), oldest uncle would be around 60s

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>>93216647
We've had whole threads that were nothing but posts like these

>>93216747
Were there any other kids between your uncle and your dad though?

My mom is 56 and I'm like 10 years older than Peter. She's more than in the right age.

>>93216822
around 9. 3 died in the hospital

>>93203475
It stinks!

>>93202891
>at night
>it's clearly daytime outside in the OP

>>93216869
So the age gap makes sense, meanwhile Ben and Richard didn't have other siblings, which is why people think it's off that they made him look so much older originally

Dammit, /co/! I don't wanna fap tonight!

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>>93207835

>>93216929
my point's that it's not impossible for it to happen, it just doesn't happen often with family's like that

then again, there's not a lot I've seen that explores their childhood. do we really know if they have no other siblings? or if they did, but they're dead by now? iirc, the parker family IS a military family

>>93202418
source?

>>93203298

I'm 24, and thank god I'm at work all day, the amount of time I spend here has dramatically decreased, I don't mind hanging out here like 30 minutes every day, that's totally fine.

And that's the best you can hope for, buddy. There's no leaving this place until it gets wiped out of the internet, I've been here since at least 2008 (I remember the welcome to>>93204358
obama's republic of hitlerstan threads)

>>93207726

what the fuck is this from

>>93205455
>"you can't show young people having sex and taking drugs, but you can show 22 year olds pretending to be 16 year olds doing the same thing!"

yes and?

>>93202790

She made me cry with her sentimental speeches.

>>93203298
2006er 33

>>93203298
you gotta go back

>>93202891
>yoga classes at night
i've seen that porn

>>93203500
hey Beter

>>93217071
www dot hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/sally-field-slams-amazing-spider-876119

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>>93211182
MJ and Gwen were literally cast the wrong way round

>>93202297
Worst Aunt May.

The other two were far better. Especially Harris.

>>93211071
>Tom Hiddleston
Isn't he Loki already?

>>93212017
Alive. She'll be 90 this year.

>>93216664
>that scene where Venom goes mental on the Oriental
How did Raimi get away with it?

>>93220751
goddamn
she's right though, they didn't give May anything decent to work with at all

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>>93202297
>December 4, 1964 (age 52)
Too old.

>>93204807
It never really made sense for Aunt May to be ancient. I mean, how old were Peter's parents supposed to be when he was born?

>>93220813
It's Loki pretending to be Peter who is pretending to be a dangerous vigilante named Spider-Man.

Another more cynical point about having a young Aunt May, if you're in it for the long haul then you don't have to worry as much about her dying.

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>>93202297
Will MCU Doc Ock be getting a piece of that action?

>>93202503
If the franchise goes for 10+ years and an extremely important character who is supposed to make many appearances dies due to old age, it could cause problems.

Look at Scarlett Johansson. She could drop dead any second now.

>>93203274
>looking like a fucking freak
oh no, I accidentally doing 1 set of pull up, now I get this wierd flying squirrel lats

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>>93221206
>52

>>93202579
They're Milf figures tho

>>93204807
Old Aunt May never made any sense.

>>93221206
>he said in a board full of old people

>>93220758
ywnb in the middle of a sandwich with those two

>>93204322
No, it's not. It's Millars fucked up fanfic.

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>>93202297
>>93203215
>>93204551
>>93207151

>>93223506
Fuck

>>93202891
it is fucking new york. you can find 24h stuff of pretty much anything. that is the truth to every megacity on this planet

>>93208128
I'm 21 and the uncle of a 25 nephew, and nieces of 21 and 19 respectively.

>>93220758
Jesus Christ, Dunst's lazy eye is really noticeable here.

>>93206288
Yeah "supposed to" despite being clearly an old woman in the original comics.

>>93202503
Why would a 15 year old have a 90 year old aunt?

>>93203298
>being so new you don't even know about wizard status

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>>93208128
>man slut

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>>93203298
anon

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>>93203298
wew lad

>>93202831
Ehh.... My father is the youngest of 7 siblings, and I the youngest of 4, there is a ten year stretch between his eldest sister, and a 9 year stretch between myself and my eldest brother. My parents also got busy at a legal age, so yeah, I have an aunt 40 years older than myself. Granted, this means that in peter parker's case, his grandparents either had a kid, waited twenty years, and had another, or his parents were like... 40 when they had a child, but stranger things have happened.

>>93203298
see you in 10 years faggot

>>93203298
41. Here from the beginning, dickweed.

You really do have to go back.

>>93204807
Rosemarie Harris is a random grandma.

We have yet to get a perfect Aunt May.

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>>93221206

>>93203298
PUT ME IN THE SCREENSHOT

>>93203298

24 years old, been here since '09.

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>>93203298
>first visited 4chan 4 years ago
>surprised there were 30 year olds here
>now 27
>see this