Remember when Green Lantern was pretty much Swamp Thing, Batman was a wrongly convicted black man inspired by a bat he befriended in prison, the Flash was a woman injected with hummingbird DNA, and Superman was an alien cop that came to Earth by accident?
>>92723125
Yes.
>>92723125
The future will sort of remember.
>>92723125
Storytime?
>>92723293
pls
>>92723125
What fresh hell is this?
>>92723215
Batman was never real. Just a dream of a boy from Gotham.
>>92723125
Nope
someone do this >>92723293
>>92723964
A dream he dreamt as he slowly bled out in the cobbled alley, gasping through the hole in his lung as he tried to reach for his mother's hand.
>>92723293
>>92723526
>>92724019
Guess I'll pick up the slack. Buckle up, boys. We're about to enter the weird world of Stan Lee's DC Comics.
I'll post the Batman issue and keep going ONLY if you guys commentate, because otherwise it's just boring.
Can't be Batman without at least one dead parent
Literally every issue of this series has great art, so it's a fine art showcase if nothing else
Well that's gratitude for ya
>>92726654
>Handz Horgum
Truly a character for the ages with a name like that
>HANDZ NO FEET
>>92726872
"I've been threatened by hands"
Say that out loud and realise how retarded that osunds.
He literally didn't do nothing
>>92726911
Dindu nuffin
>>92726909
It should be mentioned this is considered by far to be the worst of the one-shots.
>bats eating bread crumbs
lol
I like how this guy went through all the effort of framing the one guy just because he DARED to save his girlfriend's life
>>92726968
Really? That's odd. Like, it's hard to call any of these truly bad. Yeah, Stan's flowery ass prose and other writing quirks are a bit in your face, but none of it's a deal breaker or anything.
>>92726968
It's technically alright. The actual writing quality isn't bad, but the concepts are so bad they're hilarious.
If you want more commentary, though, maybe you should do the next issue in a separate thread and link to this storytime in the OP?
>>92727077
I personally think Superman is way worse
>>92727124
I'm fine with how much you guys are commentating so far, I'm not expecting it to blow up or anything, just a few posts here and there to keep me company, otherwise shit gets dull fast
The /fit/ Knight
I have to admit, I do like the idea of a Batman who trained in prison
>>92727255
Oh, and both parents are now dead, natch
>>92727134
Stan's Superman is... kind of a selfish asshole. Dude is really only trying to improve the world so people will stop spending money on wars, and start spending on space programs so he can leave. Though personally, I find that way too funny to be mad at it. It's so Silver Age.
>>92727288
Is Reverend Dark supposed to be anyone from DC?
>>92727124
>but the concepts are so bad they're hilarious.
I don't quite agree.
Not for all, at least- I think Batman is probably the one that works less, but Spacecop Superman, Aztec Wonder Woman and Earth-2 Green Lantern are good ideas.
and Hummingbird DNA isn't any weirder than "Raised by Condors" or "Mangusta Blood"
>>92727314
There was a Dr. Darrk that Batman fought, but I'm fairly certain it's just a coincidence
>>92727255
Reverend Darrk always struck me as the weakest part. I understand a common theme\enemy for the continuity, but it wasn't interesting.
>>92727430
>He's the only one that can finger us!
Fucks sake Handz you're making this too easy
>>92727310
>>Stan's Superman is... kind of a selfish asshole
so, Silver Age Superman?
I like how he's both a nice guy AND a selfish asshole at the same time.
Dig the stache
>>92727458
I'm unsure bread is a healthy diet for that kind of bat
This is when the story gets kind of weak IMO, when it turns into a poor man's Spider-Man
>Spider-Man
>looks nothing like a spider
>Batman
>looks exactly like a bat
What did Stan mean by this
>That's a cute outfit
>>92727343
>Aztec Wonder Woman
See, despite her issue being just okay, I feel she has perhaps the most potential, since Mesoamerican mythology is pretty rarely explored in fiction. Sure, every now and then you'll see Coyote or Quetzaquoatl, but that's about it.
With normal Wondy, the cliched Greek elements have been spammed to oblivion, and have become uninteresting, but Aztec stuff is relatively fresh. It'd be nice to see some of that.
>>92727527
Yeah, I think it would have worked better if his wrestler career was the main theme for a while.
He goes Convict->Wrestler->Superhero too fast.
>>92727561
I'm also undecided about his costume.
I think he should have had at least two, one as wrestler and one as superhero... or at least a progression of the design.
I mean sure, you can't have Batman without the money, otherwise he won't last long, but there had to be a better way of solving that problem than doing Spidey's origin again
Also, I'm pretty sure wrestling with giant wings on your back ain't kosher
>>92727644
Aang?
Errr, can you really become a millionaire overnight just by being really, really good at wrestling?
>>92727035
Cute, but yeah, do a little research Stan!
You didn't need to break the poor guy's skylight, man
>>92723634
DC heroes as written by Stan Lee.
Am I the only one who could never take the whole "I will strike fear into the hearts of criminals by evoking the image of a bat!" thing seriously?
I'm sorry, but bats are adorable. Most of them eat fruit, make cute little squeaky noises, and sleep by hanging upside down. Yeah, they carry diseases, but unless any given batperson goes around biting people to infect them with shit, they ain't scary.
This is when >>92727642 's point becomes very valid, Wayne gets a whole new costume so it looking the same doesn't really make sense
>>92727561
That costume looks so fucking terrible
>>92727824
Yeah, but if a human-sized bat came at you in the dark of the night, you bet your ass you'd shit your pants
>>92727644
it's a nice twist on Spidey's origins, though, Wayne being actively successful.
So its just Spider-man origins
>>92727880
Huh, good point. Never saw it that way
It's a shame Stan's DC villains are so weak
>>92727642
>>92727848
The cape and mask is cool, but he needs more to his base outfit.
>>92727753
that's why I think it would have worked better in a longer format.
Have Wayne having a dual life of wrestler and vigilante for a while, showing he keeps getting money while learning to investigate and being a vigilante- hell, have him using the wrestling costume as vigilante playing on the fact it would be crazy for the Real Batman to be a vigilante, so it's a mythomaniac.
>>92727824
we are talkihng about AMERICAN criminals of the 30s. Most of them probably though bat were envoys of hell
>>92727839
>Bats aren't bulletproof... but there's no reason why YOU couldn't be.
This line always make me laugh.
Literally the ending of Burton's Batman
>>92723125
Pedro, is it you? are you buying the smash TPB?
>>92727969
>and mask is coo
Disagree. That's the weakest part imo
>>92728034
It isn't brilliant, but I like it, bit on the nose perhaps.
>>92727969
>>92728034
IMHO he needs some color to break the black(like, I dunno, a yellow utility\champion belt?) AND a more stylised(but not too much) mask
The bat-head is nice and gives good panels like fourth here >>92727928 but it's otherwise too complex.
>>92726537
Thnx senpai
>>92728146
No problem
Alright, next up is Stan Lee and Jim Lee's Wonder Woman!
>>92728242
Thanks, I think I never managed to find a physical copy of this
I'll be skipping the intro page since it's the same for all the one-shots.
This and Sandman are probably the more Kirby-ish of the lot. WW especifically almost reads like an Aztec Thor
>>92728267
No problemo
>>92723125
First the Tangent thread, now this. You really do love these "in name only" universe.
Fun fact: Steve, Lois Lane and Dinah Drake are the only DC civilian identities present in this universe
>>92728396
It does read a lot like the Tangent OP now that you mention it
This does beg the question as to why he's telling his daughter about how her mother died just now
Nice, Stan
dude wtf
Dead parents again! Gangsta style!
Mate, I don't think he'd mind if you killed her
>>92728733
People die when they are killed
>>92728817
I'll kill you to death
This guy is cartoonishly evil
>>92728858
Remember when I said I would kill you last?
I lied
>>92728911
A lot of these villains are evil mcgangsta
>>92728916
OOH-LA-LA
See? She even gets a staff. Totally Thor
He may be purple Hulk, but he still gets to travel first class, y'know?
Nooooo, Steve
She can fly thanks to her weapon, again, just like Thor
Also, it's invisible, I'll let you figure out that reference for yourself
>>92729119
Oh, and her costume turns into a bracelet
I'm kind of amazed at how many WW references Stan is sneaking into this
Now we get a Superman reference of all things
>>92728733
I like her spirit! She's fierce!
And here's the lasso, or rather "cable"
>>92729323
Protip: a cable has two ends.
Or... you could turn back into the goddess and fly back home. But I guess America can't have enough superheroes
Are you serious right now?
>>92729413
using God Power for selfish reasons? She's not a GREEK\ROMAN Goddess!
>>92729440
That's amazingly silly
>Goddess!
Great Hera, even
>>92729440
No, Stan. No.
>Stan Lee has almost certainly never had to interview for a job in his life
Oh right, there's a Diana Prince as well. Not sure if this is meant to be Carter Hall
>Saunders
As in Speed?
You know what, silly ending aside, I really dug Stan's Wondy
Anyway, onto Lee and Buscema's Superman!
The greatest tragedy of this one-shot being, of course, that John Buscema would have been one hell of a Superman artist
>strange sense of impending doom
Those are the worst
Well, he's no Lex, but he is bald, so I'll take it
Is every story going to start with a death?Yes
Damn, Man of Murder straight up going for the kill
>>92726537
REV UP THOSE FRYERS AND WHIP ME UP A DELICIOUS FRIDAY NIGHT!
>>92730007
I really like this costume.
>>92730061
I like how they kept the S-shield and the colors, that's a nice touch.
That wrist communicator better not go "zee-zee-zee"
>>92730215
This is so silver age
I like to think these two are the Flying Graysons
>he could have called himself Peter Parker
Fate has a funny way of working out like that.
>not naming the comic "Action Comics"
if stan lee's superman is strong because of the gravity of his previous planet are strong wouldn't his power degrade over the time he stay on earth?
correct me if i'm wrong
This is when the comic starts to go off the rails, although it could be argued that happened as soon as Salden made it to Earth.
>>92730487
Maybe, I'm no physicist, but it was the explanation for Superman's powers before they brought over the yellow sun stuff, so...
I can't tell if these are government stooges for real or just plain oportunistic retards.
See, now this is a cool reference
>Nintendo
Oooooh no, bad idea, Lois, bad, bad idea.
Up, up and away!
>>92729356
How many ends did you said?
Geez, settle down, Lois
>>92728303
>>92728333
This is actually pretty cool. Wish Aztec shit would get more play in modern comics
Stan Lee cameos even in his own comics.
>>92730998
Agreed, the Aztecs had swagger
OK, now this is just an overload of referencesLove it
Finally, that AC reference I was waiting for. And a Zatara one too!
You guys up for one more story?
>>92731118
YES PLEASE
>>92731057
>that card
10/10
And there are people who think Stan isn't a good writer.
>>92731118
You're good people anon. These are some fascinating concepts that I would love to see someone pick up again (After some severe redesigns for everyone except superman)
>>92730998
>>92731028
You know they're not Aztecs, they're Incas.
Totally different groups. Incas were in the mountains of Peru while the Aztecs where in the jungles of central Mexico.
>>92731146
>>92731492
Alright, let's wrap up this session with Lee and Gibbons' Green Lantern
>>92731689
Egg on my fucking face. I actually knew that when I first read it, I just got so used to calling her "Aztec Wondy" because everyone else did. But yeah, you're right, she's Inca Wondy.
Not much commentary from me here because a) I'm tired and b) there actually aren't any references I can see in this story. I guess Stan isn't a big GL fan
>>92731787
Man, Gibbons did a lot of Green Lantern, didn't he? I mostly only know him for Watchmen and Broken Sword, and was surprised to realize that he was drawing so much of the Green Lantern Corps book in the 2000s.
Hell, it has been a fascinating experience seeing how artists change over the years
>>92731828
Peak Gibbons was Watchmen imo, the way he inked himself there was masterful
I guess this is sort of a reference to the cosmic aspect of Silver Age GL and Golden Age GL's magic lantern, but... meh
Oh, and despite the OP mentioning Swampy, there's no mention of the Green here. Huge missed opportunity but I guess that was a bit after Stan's time
>>92731787
No worries Anon, since you're a good person and storytiming...here's a character you'll enjoy.
Freedom Force had a Aztec version of Captain Marvel (Shazam) named after the Aztec snake god, Quetzalcoatl.
http://freedomforce.wikia.com/wiki/Quetzalcoatl?file=File%3Aquetzacoatl.gif
>>92731946
Neato. Underrated game too.
Damn, now I wanna see a Jaguar-Man Mayan dude just to complete the trifecta
I can't tell if these books are set in the 30's, 60's, 90's, or all three at once.
Stan sure does love Ye Olde English, doesn't he?
He's more Captain Planet than Swamp Thing in some ways
>>92732075
I like to think it's a weird Earth that never moved past certain old-time tendencies while still moving forward technologically wise
Can't help but be reminded of Doctor Manhattan
We /m/ now
>>92732103
There's an interview where he says that Thor was his favorite character to write because of the Shakespearean English. Not sure where it's originally from, it was in the first Thor omnibus.
>>92732535
Yeah, that sounds about right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUUGDRxJnFU
>>92732505
There we go. Stan and his flighty femmes.
Subtle Gil Kane nod here
No idea who this "Kevin King" guy is, kind of a missed opportunity to reference the other Lanterns
He does remind me a bit of the protagonist of Comix Zone, so he's not that bad
Well that's just silly
Alright, that's it for tonight.
If I decide to continue, next time we'll meet the Flash, the JLA, Robin and Shazam!
>>92732808
thanks, man! Fun read
>>92732808
Cool shit bruh
>>92732808
No Aquaman?
>>92730487
A story about a superhero that gets weaked each day doesn't sounds that bad
>>92723125
This already sounds better than regular DC.
>>92729792
I love Stan's footnotes.
>Stan Lees DC
I know we've all got our own personal Hell, but I didn't realise mine was marketable.
>>92731288
Stan wrote a few funny books in his time - stuff like "Not Brand Ecch!!" and his "Stan Lee Meets" one-shots shows he has a great sense of self-deprecation
>>92731828
He's also written a few books for DC, including the rather disappointing Elseworlds graphic novel Superman: Kal
>>92731893
>respected archaeologist
>discussing the ancient aliens theory without rolling around laughing their head off
Pick one.
>>92732015
>Your lecture TURNED me on...
Fucking hell, Stan... I know you're old, but come on!
WE WUZ BATZ N SHIET
>>92727824
They were associated with Satan and considered demonic. Batman single handedly changed that image which is why you find it remotely silly.
A modern equivalent of Batman would probably be covered in blood, spitting hellfire, and practicing cannibalistic berserker rage upon the criminal populace.
>>92735567
No, he'd just be gay.
>>92723125
Earth 6.
>>92727310
Silver surfer. Early silver surfer was pessimistic about humanity.
It was common for liberals to write to negative characters who think everything is qausi pointless.
>>92736969
A gay muslim scientist.
>>92723125
>creates speedster who gets powers from mongoose blood
>creates speedster who gets powers from hummingbird DNA
Stan Lee has weird ideas on how speedsters get their powers.
>Flash gets doused in random chemicals and struck by lightning bolt that turns out to be him from the future
Uh...never mind, Stan. You do you.
>>92726537
why Batman?
the Wonder Woman one is the best.