You wake up one morning to find out you're now AKU, THE

>>92195897
Literally destroy Earth. In SJ there are tons of alien cultures and homeworlds, so I can just pick another home planet.

The downside to that is the gods might finally be bothered once I start destroying planets outright and they'd come smite me.

>>92195935
>Destroying your capital, and the planet that you have been grooming for centuries, basicaly stealing the resources of other planets to make you more powerful

>basicaly rage quitting

Bad idea. Really bad idea.

aku could have destroyed him already but SJ isn't the most coherent in terms of plot so id probably just talk to my psychiatrist and wait for the final showdown

>>92195897
I'd fuck the brains outta that thick high priestess desu senpai

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>>92195897

i would kill him

>>92195897

do I really have to destroy the foolish samurai?

>>92195999
To be fair that foolish samurai is hellbent on killing you

Ah, how should I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself! And when it arrives, AH HA HA HA! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!! It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT, I tell you! Genius, I say!

>>92196064
Yzma get out, you're fired.

>>92195897
Send all of my best assassins at once, preferably after some teamwork building exercises, instead of one of a time like an idiot.

And have them go all out from the start instead of slowly increasing their level of threat over the course of the fight, like Demongo should have done.

>>92195897
Turn into a girl, seduce him, marry him and bear his children, lulling him into a false sense of security.
Then wait for him to die of old age.

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>>92195897
>What would you do to destroy that FOOLISH SAMURAI forever?
nothing I wouldn't even give him my place as the ruler of earth

and then I would focus on banging hot chicks and laughing at foolish samurai desperately fighting against a monster even more powerful and dreaded than me: beurocracy

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>>92195897
Waifu that Samurai

>>92196132
>Then wait for him to die of old age.
But he can't

>>92196181
i think anon just wants to bang jack for all eternity

>>92196181
His aging is more than certainly a mental problem. If he has peace of mind he'd age normaly.

>>92195897
Trick him into thinking he's found a time portal when it's actually a dream machine that will make him think he won and gone back home. While in real life, he's in a catatonic state who will be all too vulnerable to a single beetle drone.

He won't age...can he be trapped? Aku had his best shot with the Neptunians but now neither will Samurai be as trusting nor any group will be as compliant.

Maybe use time portals as a lure. It should be trivial to simulate the CN like effect of the beginning of a time portal with a cantrip. Foolish Samurai jumps in, suddenly lava floods the "time portal". Would need to cultivate rumors for some time though.

>>92195897
Send a flock of angry robot birds to peck him to death. That or shapeshift myself into someone he doesn't recognize and go about on an overly complicated plan to convince him to let me borrow his sword.

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>>92196158
>the unspeakable evil Aku unleashed was bureaucracy

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>>92195897
Call in a sick day.

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>>92195897
Shitpost on 4chan all day and complain about the samurai.

>>92196098
Aku tried to zerg rush Jack multiple times and send multiple armies after him.

Fucking Demongo has an infite respaw of might warriors.

>>92195897
Keep spying on Jack, that sword is the only thing that could kill me

The moment he loses the sword, I swoop in and murder him and everything around him in a five mile radius

>>92195897
I turn into Ikra and force my vagina on his cock against his will.

>>92196358
Yeah, but if he had gone all out on Jack from the start, without revealing how his powers worked, he would've gotten him eventually.

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only one way

>>92195897
Impregnate Ashi and once she gives birth make her barren, thus destroying him emotionally.

>>92195897
Create a daughter from his own seed without him knowing, manipulate events to make the two to be more romantic and eventually fuck. Then when we meet for the last confrontation present him a box full of pictures revealing the truth and watch in ectasy as the fool cuts his tongue with his own sword

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>>92196397
Then make the samurai pay child support, financially ruining him forever.

It's foolproof.

>>92196468
No I just really want to rape him over and over in Ikra form infact I will stay in Ikra form and shove the hilt of his sword into my pussy then put it back into his hand while he is sleeping so he wakes up he will rub my vagina juice on his face.

>>92195897
Throw a rock at him.

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Confront the Samurai in a a comfortable house. Where servants will give him food, drink and entertainment.

Tell him that if he ever leaves the house, his new home - all the children in villages from several different kingdoms will be immediately executed.

He will be too honorable to leave, too just to let innocent children die, and since he's not in mortal danger he can't justify any sort of escape.

House arrest forever.

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>become Ikra
>have babby
>Jack can't kill you now because babby needs a mom.

>>92196087
t. Kuzco fag

>>92196215
[Spoiler]Jack is pure you aku fags[/Spoiler]

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>>92196348
>Be me
>Be SHAPE-SHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS
>unleash and UNSPEAKABLE EVIL
>Some foolish NEET steps forth to oppose me
>Get my ass handed to me on evil Aku damned precious stoned plater
>Studyingtheblade.jpg
>gonna finish me off
>*tears open a portal in time and flings you*
>realize that I'll have to face him again in the future
>Shitpost on /Aku/

What do anons?

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>>92196653
here's a hint anon

ctrl+S to spoiler your shit.

>>92196752
Just fling him farther into the future next time you see him

>>92196158
>>92196309
>the unspeakable evil Aku unleashed was bureaucracy
top kek

>>92196752
Just Eyebeam the fool

Turn into a hot chick and fuck him.

>>92196752
Start building robots now so you'll have a shitload of them when you face him.

One of them has got to get a lucky shot, right?

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>>92195897
kill ashi

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>>92198512
>Rape Ashi in front of Jack
or better yet
>Rape Jack in front of Ashi

>>92198548
I like the way you think

>>92195897
I take a descendant of Jack's clan, mindbreak them to my side. Train them to become the ultimate samurai and name them Ronin.

I then give to Ronin a magical sword of Darkness made from me to counter Jack's sword and send him out into the world to kill Jack and do whatever the fuck he wants.

Ronin vs. Samurai

>>92198480
Should I make a scat-singing robot?

>>92195897
Corrupt innocents like I did with the goats but on a massive level. I'm talking women, children, entire towns. As Jack slays the monsters they revert back to corpses of innocent people, plaguing him with guilt.
He will direct this anger towards me as I have now become a true monster. After this I will send one of my loyal human subjects to seduce him and gain his trust. When he confronts me with her I reveal the truth, chances are he'll have turned her to his side but that doesn't matter as BLAM she's a monster now. The Samurai now has to kill the one he loves as I fly away and laugh. He can never get close to anyone as if he does I corrupt them and turn them into my own minions.

Years of forced isolation and guilt will wreak havoc on his mind, driving him to madness as he has to fight robots day after day all alone.

Eventually he'll make it to my lair, no doubt wanting to finish me off completely. We will fight and he'll likely get close to killing me but when he does I will TEAR OPEN A PORTAL IN TIME AND SEND HIM INTO THE FUTURE.

I may not be able to kill the Samurai but I can drive him mad. The constant cycle of anyone you communicating with being killed and being sent so far into the future everything you did was for naught will eventually drive him to commit seppuku. He can not get close to killing me and any time he tries he will slaughter anyone he comes into contact with.

>>92195897
turn him into stone

>>92195897
https://i.4cdn.org/f/it%26%23039%3Bsbeen50years.swf

>>92195897
The Samurai? Fuck him, I'm going to get some runback on the three deified jocks who ganged up on me.
We'll see how they like it when I gather every demon in existence to run a train on them.

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>>92198548
The Samurai FINALLY has a weakness

To destroy him, Aku must ANNIHILATE Ashi's hips

>>92196752
throw a rock at him

>>92200737
Get out Killer Croc, you're useless.

>>92195897
Do the Ikra scheme again under a different guise and stab him in his sleep.

>>92195897
GIVE ASHI THE FEMTO SPECIAL

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Give that chicken wizard a call.

>>92196158
>>92196309
LOOONG AGO
AT THE DMV
I
A FAT BLACK LADY
UNLEASHED UNSPEAKABLE WAITING PERIODS
BUT A SIXTEENYEAROLD,
WIELDING A LEARNERS PERMIT
STEPPED FOURTH TO PROCESS HIS PAPERWORK
I TWOAH OPEN SOME SASS
AND CAST HIM INTO LINE C
WHERE MY REDICULOUS WAITING PERIODS ARE LAW
NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO GET HIS LICENSE
AND UNDO THE FUTURE THAT IS
DRIVERS ED

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Hire a bunch of assassins I guess.

>>92195897

Pretend to be some ninja warrior girl and have Jack fall in love with me, only to stab him in the back at the final scene, breaking him.

>>92198548
Go to bed Gordon.

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>>92196591
>trusting Aku to keep his word

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>>92198480
Hmmmm.....yesss, this shall solve my problem. He won't know what to do with these new metal monsters.

>>92195963
Aku's gotta be evil the whole way through.

>>92200981
I can relate to this. She rode with me and told my parents "I don't know how he did it but he passed." When I came back 10 years later to get my D license. I went back to tell her I passed it and she straight up said "You want to take it again?" I told her I passed it; she raised an eyebrow and told my to wait somewhere else.

She's just so memorable.

>>92195897
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqEbk8QaPzo

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>first need to fuck pic related
>fuck him until he reaches climax and cums
>Kubo dies after losing his magical power
>cum
>mix my cum with his cum
>magic happens
>the drink becomes so dangerous that jack will explode
>throw naked Kubo into a sea
>disguise as a female milk seller
>show Jack my "milk"
>"It's a milk that comes from Serbia. It tastes good."
>Jack tastes it
>"Mmm."
>Jack explodes and becomes a gory mess

>>92195955
Nah.

Earth is a shit hole, and Jack can't breath in space.

You win if you just give up some progress, which is a fair trade.

>>92206441
> The gods then allow Jack to breathe in space

>>92195897
>What would you do to destroy that FOOLISH SAMURAI forever?
But Aku doesn't want that, he only thinks he do. He's too evil to just kill Jack and if he did he might get bored, so he prefers to be lazy and just have Jack being miserable forever.

Keep sending him into the future, repeating the process every couple of millenia, for all eternity. I guess that at some point he will get to the end of time and just

DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE

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>>92195897
Fling him onto an island of nekkid women

>>92206615
Space is huge as well, he'll never find Aku.

>>92196132
>not filing for a divorce and then claiming costody of the kids and then fucking him over for the rest of his life causing him to fall into a great depression eventually killing himself

>>92195897
Keep a constant an eye on to him
>see him fall into his depression
>recreate Mad Jack
>fuck it Mad Jack needs some friends
>create Sad Jack and Guilty Jack to help Mad Jack out
>wait for one of those three to either kill the samurai for him to kill himself

>>92206983
The Jack Force?

>>92207331
I like it let's make a season 4.5 fill in those 50 years.

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>>92202089
>Aku's gotta be evil the whole way through.

>>92195897
Fling him even further into the future.

>>92195897
Set up a fake and booby trapped time portal

>>92206774
>Spinoff series about Jack traveling the universe looking for Aku

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>>92200751
Well, now wait just a moment FOOLISH ANON. Perhaps if Aku throws a sufficiently large rock at the Samurai.

>>92195897
I'd send him into the future where my evil is law, except instead of future I'd send him to the cold vacuum of space where my evil is law.

Wait, why doesn't Aku just rape Jack?

>>92209301
I'd watch it

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>>92210436
It would be extremely lewd.

>>92210851
You're a big shapeshifting master of darkness

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>>92195897
TRAAAAAAAANSFORM INTO A WOMAN AND SAMPLE THAT

EXTRA THICC

SAMURAI DICK

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>>92195897
Start my own reality show to corrupt the children so they beat up the samurai or something.

>>92195897
Why would I even want to destroy him? First thing to do is to meet Jack and explain the whole situation of me becoming Aku, fix all of the mess he made and send Jack to the past if he wants. When that's done I will go back to our world and enjoy the rest of eternity with the awesome powers that I now have.

Destroy the baka samurai WITH MY RAGING HARD PENIS

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>>92195897
>find some old ass temple
>dig really deep hole
>make a time portal illusion at the top
>Jack finds it and jumps in headfirst
>breaks neck on the ground
>Samurai Splat

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>>92206983
Suicide Jack team-up when?

>>92196158
Are you Trurl?

>>92195897
One word.

GUN.

>>92195897
I turn into a hot sorceress and seduce the hell out of him because I can, repeatedly. I can run my empire from another body.

Destroy him? I get lulz and sex.

Tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, repeat it 10,000 years from now.

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Someone link me promo, plis

Allright hear me out.

Open up time portals.

The enterances and exists are all facing eachother ala Portal (tm)

Do this for thousands of years until it goes full circle.

FLING THE SAMURAI IN

>>92195897
Nothing. Jack's fairly reasonable, I could tell him about my origin and we could work together to undo Aku-Prime's fuckery.

Or, more fun:
>be me
>suddenly be Aku
>Realize I'm the absolute sovereign of Earth and probably some other places too
>I have vast magical powers
>I'm immortal
>The people are already conditioned to fear and obey me
>The time has come
>destroy crime in the areas I directly control, establish reasonable law and order
>Centralize control over areas ruled by my warlords, dispose of them as outdated and potential threats to my newly enlightened rule
>Work on feel-good shit like poverty reduction, education, health and sanitation improvements
>by the end, the places under my rule should be less anarcho-jetpack-feudalism and more clean, shiny reason and science-oriented Star Trek (with an absolute overlord)
>the enclaves resisting my rule will fall one by one, first through defection (you can live in squalor or you can accept Aku as your lord and savior and be healthy and prosperous) and finally through overwhelming force (to establish I'm still not someone to mess with)
>As Emperor of United Terra, I launch a Great Crusade against other neighboring worlds, spreading the Imperial Truth
>Create Prime Warriors to lead my armies, including an heir, just in case something happens to me
>Eventually, the entire galaxy is my control
>I've even driven the gods back to their Immaterial home
>Nothing could go wrong

Become a good leader eradicating poverty, crime and war, so Jack have no option other than leave me be.

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>>92195897

>>92195897
Pretend to be good till all my enemies die of natural causes, do enough good that everyone loves me, slowly devolve the world into evil over thousands of years.

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>>92195897
Destroy/hoard all the planets vaccines and unleash a plague the next time he visits one of my cities. Have my killbots proceed to kill every living thing within the city that doesn't cooperate in the "cleaning".

>>92201203
Aku isn't ashi, if he was he woulda let Jack commit sepuku.

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>>92196443
delet this

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Here's what's going to happen:
>Ashi and Jack get separated for some reason
>Jack finds the Guardian and learns that the portal is still intact cuz the Guardian hid it from Aku or something
>rematch happens
>Jack wins
>Jack learns that Ashi was kidnapped by Aku
>He abandons the portal to go rescue her
>to be continued...
>tumblr has an even bigger meltdown
screencap this

Send him a couple centuries further into the future and deal with him then.

>why doesn't Jack just rape the UNSPEAKABLE EVIL that is Aku?

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>>92213559
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1wmYyDLSLrg

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>>92213752
>"or is that what you want?"

>>92195897
Make an ingenious plan where Jack can develop cancer.

>>92195897
I'll calculate exactly where Jack will appear in the future, and then I'll fill that area with inescapable Death Traps so as soon as he appears, he dies.

>>92211921
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_LZnx1-tB8

i'd probably get every single army I own and send them to attack Jack all at once, when he starts to tire i'll join in and finish the fool off

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>>92195897
Shoot him.

>>92215228
where's that Aku Gun picture? anyone have it?

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>>92215347
Have the gun? Yes, Aku. I do.

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>>92215398
FOOLISH SAMURAI, That gun will have no effect on me!

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>>92215422
Oh. I see. I suppose I will have to use my sword, then.

Goodbye, Aku. I kissed your daughter.

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>>92215422
>Aku's face when the gun shoots mystical swords

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>>92215483
I'LL BE BACK AGAIN SAMURAI...YOU'LL SEE! HAHAHAHAAHAHA!

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Get better at my shapeshifting skills and keep on trying to catfish the Samurai

>>92195955
sunk cost fallacy

>>92196171
kinda already happened lol

Tentacle dick him for an eternity.

Anybody ever think about an alternate universe where Aku And Jack have switched roles, Shape-shifting Master of Light vs Foolish Ronin Warrior?
Aku sows seeds of chaos and destruction upon Jacks Utopia.

Fling him another thousand years into the future. Then he's a problem for New Millennium Aku.

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>force my top scientists to invent magnets
>disarm foolish samurai of his magic swhord through my wicked cunning
>twoah open a portal in time, and fling his sword into the future, where my evil is still law

>>92212486
Stop tempting me anon

>>92218661
I wonder why he never tried that.

>>92195897
just keep flinging him into the future.
death is too good for the samurai.
AAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
otherwise, I suppose a fake portal that drops him into the sun would suffice.

>>92211084
He wouldn't believe you.
sending him back would result in your death.

>>92212052
see>>92223706

>>92195897
How about instead of sending him to earth in the future, I just send him to a different planet in the future?

I keep throwing him into the future each time he seeks me out. Also make sure to always seek out those he helped, and make their deaths painful and slow. Each time jacks seeks me out he got forced to pass giant screens showing all of this. Show him how pointless his quest is. Laugh when he finally takes his own life. And then I bang my harem.

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Tear open a portal in time and use it to travel back in time myself to when Jack is 5 years old. Rape and impregnate his mom and then sodomize his dad to death while he watches. Then throw him 9 months into the future to watch his baby brother born, then throw him another 10 years into the future so his brother is now 5 years older than him. Then I let his older baby brother bully him for the rest of his childhood and make him into a little bitch with no confidence.
Last, I travel back to the present day and keep on enjoying being Aku. Maybe get together with Ashi and the Priestess and watch some TV.

I'll just open another portal in time, fly in telling him it's to the past where I'll kill his pops; after he jumps in, I'll reveal it was even further into the future, and laugh as I fly back to my time.

How about I Ego Trip him and bring 3 other Akus into this tineline and we just gang up on him?