Dark Avengers Storytime (Part 3)

the action lines on thor made me think the cover was a hammer and sickle

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And since it's been a few weeks, a recap on what happened in the arc.

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Before anyone asks, the reason I took a brief break from storytiming? Persona 5 came out, and I didn't trust shitposters to not spoil the game for me.

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Man, you just don't get shit like "The Awesome Android" in comics anymore, played completely straight like this.

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>>91884370
Well, it IS a hammer, I suppose, so you're not wrong.

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>"I've got my own book, too."

Yeah, shame how that book ended up defining you as a fuck-up for years, innit?

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Aw, lil Apaec...

>>91884550
McCann >> Fraction.

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>>91884593
I STILL haven't read that series yet, although I did finish my Doctor Strange reading over the break.

>>91884593
boooo

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Wait, who's recording the Reed-Ben argument? It doesn't look like the Iron Man armors got back yet.

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Wow, things really went to shit for the FF in this universe.

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I love how Ben doesn't even seem surprised that he's got another Hulk.

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>the Fantastic Zone

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So Apaec can see magic? That's convient.

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This was before Time Runs Out, when we saw how a Hulk vs. Captain Marvel fight would be expected to go.

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>"I don't care what she's wearing, I know Karla Sofen's energy attack when I see it."

Also convient.

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>"Who do we know that arrived by water?"

>>91884807
This

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So is Sue supposed to be moving ALL that water, or does Namor just randomly have hydrokinesis for a show of force?

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>"... while I'm holding billions of tons of the hudson."

Yeah, that is all Sue. Holy crap.

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>"Never understood why everyone was so fixated on this place."

You'd think with Marvel's love of diversity books, they'd try to have some of their new heroes in OTHER cities, but I can count on my hand the number of new creations who didn't at least start off in New York.

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Nobody listens to Apaec...

>>91884878
Damn Sue.

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>"When you kill a magic user, their spells are broken."

Off the top of my head, there's Yandroth from Busiek's Defenders, who proves that to be bullshit. Or maybe "curses" are different.

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Dun dun dun!

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I'm sure this is probably supposed to symbolize something, but honestly, I'm just too tired to figure it out.

>>91885017
Hail.

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So has Marvel ever tried to explain away the random "cosmic rays", or is that just one of those "it's good enough, don't make it more complicated than it needs to be" things?

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Shit like this and some of the post-Hickman Maker scenes makes me understand why someone would think to make a Fantastic Four Body Horror movie.

I mean, it ended up being a train wreck, but I can see the logic.

>>91885033

It's pure prime Lee/Kirby so you can't touch it

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>>91885032
Fuck, that reminds me, what was good today? I haven't read anything.

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This is one of those rare instances where Karla botches her bluff roll.

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>>91885070
That's a surprising amount of restraint I wouldn't have expected.

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Remember, Stark is literally controlling Pym with an implant in Pym's head, that's also preventing him from manipulating Pym Particles perfectly...

>>91885076
Elektra, flash 21 action comics and Old man Logan.

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... But June managed to alter the implant though, so that Hank obeys HER instead.

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Man, Janet really did have a rough couple of years for a while, didn't she?

>>91884322
Hey.
Welcome back.
I'm probably not going to finish tonight. I'm super tired. But thanks for running.

The new Iron Fist series is pretty good, but I'm kicking myself for taking two days to realize that the End Boss being The Wolf might be an origin reference somehow.

>>91885199
Still janet is almost gone. Thank to nadia sadly the book is shit.

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Oh god, what did Peter do this time.

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>talking shit about knock-offs
>while wearing little Batman ears

That's just fucking great.

>>91885225
Spider-Island

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>>91885210
>The new Iron Fist series is pretty good, but I'm kicking myself for taking two days to realize that the End Boss being The Wolf might be an origin reference somehow.

Honestly, if his champion ends up being that one villain who's deal was literally "I was one of the wolves who ate your mother" it would immediately become one of my favorite Iron Fist books.

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>Misty Knight, Hawkeye, Shang-Chi, Iron Fist, Daredevil, Spider-Man, and Colleen Wing

Fuck, I'd read this book.

>>91884484
>>91884522
That Digital Clock 4 is pretty novel.

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>>91885219
I could've sworn Janet was a big part of one of the Avengers books. I distinctly remember her being in Uncanny Avengers for a while, at least.

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By the way, the character I'm reading now that I finished Doctor Strange?

Shang-Chi. I should know quite a bit about him by the time we get to Secret Wars.

>>91884550
Barney being blonder than Clint bothers me, but Lord Demonpimp is the best demon name I've heard in a good long while.

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Even tiny, Apaec is still creepy as hell.

>>91884586
See, for maximum marketing appeal they ought to have run with this, but limited his dialogue to "I am Ai"

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Looks like Peter went full Totem in this timeline.

All quiet Spider-Man, all the time.

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Nobody make the comments I know you're going to. Resist the urge.

>>91884612
Barney, she's a mad scientist with a proclivity for self experimentation, of course she was doing unethical testing on all of you.

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>>91885370
>but Lord Demonpimp is the best demon name I've heard in a good long while.

It really is a great name though, isn't it?

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If you considered Karla the best Thunderbolt... you wouldn't be wrong.

>>91885261
Dude, that's 90% Catman's costume

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Well... fuck.

>>91884726
Now that's a name for a strip club.

>>91885340
I remember comicbeat making a complaint article about marvel replacing janet. http://www.comicsbeat.com/ever-wonder-why-marvel-doesnt-talk-about-janet-van-dyne-much/

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>>91885472
I think his complaints are more "time and a place" than "the nerve!"

I mean, you'd expect a mad scientist to experiment on a super soldier and an asgardian, but you'd also hope she'd do it when they aren't at risk.

>>91885286
Yeah, that would be great. Especially if Danny's reaction was "God damnit, another one?!"

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Uh oh, Reed's doing sneaky science. The bad guys are fucked.

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And from the sounds of it, we now have their identities.

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Come on Danny, you'd do it if it were Luke.

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>>91885583
I was thinking the SAME one, since I don't remember her name, although a second one would be even better.

But that is unlikely since nobody at Marvel reads older comics.

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>>91885550
The reason Marvel is replacing Janet is because everyone reduces her and Pym to "Slapee and Slaper."

Freaking Millar's Ultimates didn't help.

>>91884946
She beat the Hulk once, if you didn't know.

>>91885340
>>91885550

she was a big part in that she was there a lot. she was never like an important member though really. Stern's run she shines some.

it really sucks Jan's one of the few silver age women heroes and she's just bad. there's some fertile territory with her too! and she was young as fuck when the avengers started which no one remembers or cares about

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Maybe it's because I've been playing SMT lately, but all I could think while re-reading this was "So Spider-Man picked the Neutral Path".

>>91885695
She is also dead in the mcu.

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>"I didn't say they lied. I just don't care about saving what's left of the world."

Matt, you are a TERRIBLE hero.

>>91885673
Well, I think the Wolf Champion is already established as male, so Fera/Ferocia wouldn't work I don't think.

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Remember this page, Anons. It'll be relevant later.

>>91885695

oh man ruined them both forever!!!

Trail of Yellowjacket is a great story which makes it even sadder it's reduced to that

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Has Pym ever gone full Frankenstein, yelling "IT'S ALIVE!" while using lightning to power an AI?

>>91885728

c'mon she's lost in the microverse

or whatever they're calling it because legal issues

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Welp, looks like things are going pear-shaped for AIM.

>>91885101
She's got a negative modifier on the roll because the "look like Carol" spell is adding compulsive behaviors.

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>>91885728
>>91885802
They can probably just do a version of the last Bendis-Avengers arc, where they went into the Microverse to bring Janet back after people gave him shit for killing her in Secret Invasion.

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>>91885832
I'll have to re-read Reed's run to see if that lines up.

>>91885851

which was hilarious cause even Simone was like "Glad that bitch is fridged"

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>>91885717
>>91885775
So basically what I'm hearing is that after Shang-Chi, I should read all of Avengers?

>>91885311
If Misty weren't a barrel of toxic waste of a character at the moment, it'd have been a good Occupy Avengers team.

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>>91885877
I think she explicitly said something more like "some women deserve to be fridged".

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Okay, the fuck is that sword supposed to be?

>>91885899

I read them all up to like Heroes Reborn and it was something. Wouldn't push against it actually.

i keep debating storytiming it but no one cares to hang and talk in silver age comic storytimes...

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>>91885919
Has Spencer done literally ANYTHING with her besides making her fuck Sam?

>>91885922

you could probably argue the slap was an original fridging. or Hank's first wife for that matter...

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It's not a Bad Future in Marvel until Spider-Man gets murdered.

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Okay, so Strange is the Sorcerer Supreme, Clea is his student, and Tigra was fast and strong enough to kill Spider-Man before he could react...

And Wong's got a spear. I like Wong, and I know he could probably mess up some faceless mooks, but with Shang-Chi and Iron Fist there, he's kind of useless.

>>91885695
When has Mark Millar's anything ever helped?

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>>91885949
I remember reading all of Heroes Reborn, because I was reading PAD's Hulk, and that was involved, and got utterly confused at the last crossover.

>>91885944
>>91885961

is it supposed to be Illyana's? it kind looks like it

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Well, look who's back at full power!

Seriously, when you actually take the time to write down all of Moonstone's powers and abilities, she's broken as hell. But then you read the books, and it never occurs to you.

>>91885695
>Panel 1

Well now, that's certainly cropable.

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>>91885972
Did Marvel ever decide if that one Modok that claimed it was his wife was or wasn't his wife? You'd think that would come up, now that Nadia is a thing.

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>"Before we were all at war for no reason."

So do they really have no idea why they're still fighting?

>>91886065

Imo Waid's been planting/planning some more stuff about her past so.....

but no idea about the Maamodok

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>>91886041
You know, now that you mention it, it could be.

>>91885717
The fact that so often Jan exists as part of a duo with Hank really ends up working against her for a lot of her history, in that she ends up being his girlfriend who keeps flirting with everyone/his ex and victim of his abuse.

There's plenty of fertile ground though- she's the young one, she's the one that understands branding (which Tony Stark didn't so much back in the day), she's a reasonably capable leader because she's a people person....

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>>91886023
I'm sure there's people who like his Swamp Thing.

Personally, I hated it, because it started by basically wiping out the entire supporting cast of the previous runs, which is a personal pet peeve of mine.

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Somehow, Karla, I don't think Walker has a thing for "bad girls".

>>91885743
That's Mike.

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And there goes Pym, his last words being his wife's name.

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Thor (clone) vs. Iron Man, Part 2!

>>91886127

at least with Swamp Thing there's precedent.

>>91886117

100%, understanding branding would actually give some support to people trying to brag that she named the Avengers like it means something. I think Remender kinda wanted to touch on that kinda stuff in Uncanny but it got lost in the shuffle

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And this fight looks about as one-sided as the last time this happened.

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And in case you were wondering why Stark didn't unmask when Pepper asked him to? Here's why.

>>91885017
Lady justice, fucking with the scales.

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>>91886165
My god, a world where Mike Murdock never sacrificed his life. That could change EVERYTHING.

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Danny no, you should know better than trying to pick a fight with the sorcerer supreme head-on...

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I can't tell if Clea is holding back laughter (because she's evil so of course she's laughing) or about to vomit from the vore.

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Damn it Ben, make up your mind! Do you hate him, or is he your friend?!

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>another Captain America shield

Oh shit, that's REALLY handy.

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>>91886264
Fair enough, sounds like Karla.

>>91886219
>100%, understanding branding would actually give some support to people trying to brag that she named the Avengers like it means something

Yeah, between that, being a fashion designer, and the whole poor little rich girl part of her character, she could easily be a less intolerable Celebutant kinda thing.

The key is making her not cynical about it, like 102% of stories of 'celebrity superheroes' always are.

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>Captain America's shield reflected Doctor Strange magic like it's the fucking Legend of Zelda

I feel like this shouldn't work, but whatever, I'll allow it.

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Wait, what?

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Wait, so your poison does THAT? Fucking hell.

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>"There's less than an hour left on the sliver!"

And now, before everything else, there's a ticking clock on the line.

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>>91886383
Marvel doesn't really know how to write books about grown women. Even when they technically do, they're written like they're teenage girls.

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OH SHIT, SON!

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Last issue of the night, Anons!

>>91886065
Cutting out here to ride the mattress express.

Will finish tomorrow, I guess.

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So in-universe I guess a day passed.

>>91886483
This is true, and my own concept would almost certainly doom it to some kind of faux reality show format complete with to camera confessionals, so I don't rightly know that it could really work well anyway.

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That's two bald of them that are bald now. Three if you count Apaec!

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>>91886534
See you then, Anon. We're almost done!

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>>91886558
>my own concept would almost certainly doom it to some kind of faux reality show format complete with to camera confessionals

Remember when Bendis's Avengers did literally that for an arc?

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And of course, Karla takes the time to talk shit.

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Wow, holy shit, Clor.

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Not gonna lie, Tony. Dick move.

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Oh, no. That sword may have been Skaar's this whole time.

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Speaking of Bendis's Avengers, remember that stupid fucking Time Travel arc at the start?

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So I guess Stark just killed Namor and sue off-panel?

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Oh hey, remember Jan? How her problem was that she could only go to two extremes in size?

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Yeah, get fucked Tony.

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>"Yes! Even Clint couldn't have hit that!"
>"Yes he could have."

Trickshot just can't win, can he?

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Wait, so AIM just flies the fuck out through a building? Not even a teleporter or something?

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Wait, hold the phone! Where did the other 4 come from? How'd they get there so quickly?

>>91886822
this is why you don't fuck with people who WILL Kill your ass when they catch you when you have no power to back it up.

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And there you go, AIM's time sliver is completely gone now.

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Before you ask, no, Clor and his alternate Mjolnir haven't made a single appearance since this book.

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And Apaec had no other appearances either, for obvious reasons. As far as Marvel's concerned, June just killed him, while using her powers to control Walker's mind.

>>91886876
he didn't deserve that at all.

considering who and what he is, he was pretty fucking good team player.

File: Dark Avengers 190-020.jpg (1MB, 1920x2951px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1920x2951px

That's it for Parker's Thunderbolts, Anons. See you tomorrow, as we step back a bit, and see what Danny Rand has been doing while Luke led two teams at once. See you then!

>>91886915
Again, given what he is, there's no guarantee he's dead. He could just re-appear somewhere else with the justification being "I'm a god, I'm not that easy to kill."

>>91884905
Kate is in LA, right? Maybe a New West Coast Avengers could happen.

>>91886969
Hell it shouldn't even work since thanks to Pym Particles he should have retained his normal size god strength and durability

>>91884322
Welcome back, anon. I've been having withdrawals.

Thank anon. Needed my Thunderbolts fix.

>>91887106
Same guy. Karla is from LA iirc.

thunderbumps

late bump

While I think Dark Avengers was a rough ending and the Thunderbolts never got a proper conclusion, this run still has a lot of heart.

>>91886933
Thank you.

>>91886933
And this is what everyone has been doing after this run
>Ragnarok: MIA
>Moonstone: Somehow ended up in Pleasant Hill
>Toxie Doxie: Last seen in the last couple of issues of Avenger Assemble. Where she had Spider-woman, Spider-girl and Black Widow after her, also got a new power from a Inhuman
>Apec: MIA
>Clints Brother: I think he showed up in Hawkeyes solo run
>USAgent: Last seen getting his ass kicked by Sam because of Hydrasteve

>>91886048
>she's broken as hell
Not really, she has the standard superhero pack with intangibility and the power to change her clothes at will.

But her strength levels is below that of even Doc Samson.
>>91886876
and of course Karla wants to sleep with a Ragnarök

dark bamp

>>91884667
> the universe doesn't extend beyond our solar system

Was this a Hickman reference? Parker really got the jump on that I guess.

>>91891229

>>91892979

>>91886933
I found this ending pretty lame. None of the characters got a resolution aside from Ragnarok, which would be great if literally anyone had acknowledged him within a year of this issue coming out.

Apaec might have been in Spider-Verse? He obviously gets killed off by that spider-hunter person, but it might have been the Apaec of another universe.

>>91885771
Yeah, I remember guessing this twist coming. Kinda, the only way Tony's tech could possibly pogress by this point.

>>91886862
Does Parker have something against luxurious male manes? Both Ragnarok and Skaar had long hair and ended up bald by the end of the story.

>>91886732

So does that mean this alternate universe is just a pocket dimension created by AIM?

>>91892993

>>91884776
wait, it this where captain marvel's costume came from?

>>91886197
Iron Man isn't even close to being a fair fight. Even when he has a specifically anti-Thor armor.

>>91886224
People tend to forget that THOR IS MARVEL SUPERMAN.

He's the biggest gun.

>>91886454
>>91886483
>>91886502
Wait, shit.. what if War Thor is Clor?

>>91894113

>>91896433