So there's a show about some girls…but, eh…they're

>>91639910
BWHAHA What a fuckin idiot!

>>91639910

Is it anything like that show featuring doctors who use the power of video games to fight evil?

Bloody hell Karl. Where do you come up with this hokum?

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>>91639910

You're talking shit again, play a record.

>>91640008
>>91640096
pls no bully the Karl

>>91639910
Youre talking shit

I'm serious...so um....they grab this boy who is the son of....of one of the rocks....

>>91640551
Let him finish

>>91640611
And it turns out, like, he's also the rock. And so it kinda does his head in, innit, cause like, he's his own mum.

But he's also the mother. You see she's given birth to herself like what God did.
It's a bit weird really. He's got some issues about it which y'know, you can understand.
I'd ave issues if I remembered coming out me own vagina even if I was a baby.

>>91640096
I think Ricky Jervais is living out some sort of spiteful fantasy from his youth with that show, Lke he got absolutely broken by dumb shits who were stronger than him, and he needs to feel meentlaly superior to someone constantly and show everyone how smart he is just to live.

>>91639910
i would pay to see an idiot abroad in beachcity

>>91640968
>The episode turns out to be the biggest lore dump in the show since Karl is actually curious about the Gems as opposed to anyone who's ever lived in Beach City and actually asks questions about them

>>91640968
>Ricky being Ricky goads Karl into finding a "house on the other side of the fucking town"
>Karl accepts and stumbles into the hideout
>The Gems are stunned by the sudden appearance of a bald headed manc

>>91639910
So, eh.. There's this.. oriental fella. Proper samurai. Has the sword an' the robe. And he, er... fights this huge evil fella, who is... er... made of mud. An' he's about to kill 'im but the mud monster just sort of.. launches him. Into the future.

>So there was this... eh.. giant eyeball in the sky
>and its um heading straight for the town ya see
>so I call up me dad to see if he still has one of mums old light cannons mucking about

>>91641392
>hey dad, its your fuckwit son again
>giant ball in the sky eh?

>>91641440
LET HIM FINSIH

>>91641334
what with some kind of time cannon?

>So I went to this chip shop yeah
>I mean they called it a fry shop but all they fried were chips
>And I asked, May I have some fish with these chips? They said no but we can give you the bits.
>I wasn't havin none a that.

How can you people like this show? Karl is so dumb that it's actually sad.

>>91641526

>How can you people not like this show? Karl is so dumb that it's actually fucking hilarious

ftfy

>>91641476
Nah see, he don't like cannons, it's a portal e uses, innit?

>>91641552
>So this evil mudman... can just open time portals whenever he wants?

>And just what did samurai with a katana hope to accomplish against that, Karl? I'll give you a history lesson here: Samurai couldn't even beat BLOODY GUNS.

>>91641526
>Karl
>Dumb
Karl is actually a twelfth level intellect. All the show did was prove that Ricky is equally as dumb yet he acts like he's smart

>>91639910
You forgot the kid is actually a little monkey fellow.

>>91641028
I just... I mean if I had a lion that could teleport to, y'know the moon I'd be asking serious questions.

I wouldn't just, er... I wouldn't just use it to go the movies. I mean, I would... because you'd save loads on fuel right? But I'd have taken 'im to the vet and get 'im checked out... cause lions shouldn't do that.

And the pink fur... That's not, um, well that's not right either, innit? Unless some kids were just muckin about and spray painted 'im. Which is cruelty to animals, because they probably didn't even ask the lion what, er, what 'is favourite colour is. 'e might 'ave wanted to be blue?

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>Yeah, you owed me 50p and you decided you didn't want to give it to me cause it was only 50p.
Who was right?

>>91639910
>they are not really girls
>They're, um, they're rocks
>Not traps
How much better would Steven Universe be if it was about traps?

>>91641645
Steve was, it's not Karl's decision whether to be held to the debt or not, regardless of size

>>91641645

I mean, I would never bother holding someone to a debt that small, I can barely be arsed to hold people to debts unless they're above $20

But that's my call to make about debts that are owed to me, Steve is completely within his rights to have his 50p if he wants them.

>>91641645
Karl was in the right.

If you had me going to the shop for a bottle of milk and a mars bar the least you can do is let me keep the change for going for you.

>>91640939
Thats how he has been his entire life, Ricky is a fucking cunt and people are finally figuring it out because nobody is bowing to him.

>>91641570
>Well y'see he's not an ordinary mudman, that - that would be silly. He's a demon, proper nasty bloke. Comes from space, y'know. Real bad news, him.

>Any - anyway, the samurai, you see, he can beat him, right? Cause he's gone and circled the world and trained with all sorts of folks. Like, learned about shapes in Egypt. Robin Hood taught him to shoot if he - he has the need. And Arabians taught him horses. Plus his sword's proper deadly. His ancestors made it. Also gods.

>>91641645
It's a sign of respect. Karl should give him the 50p.

Also didn't he met his gf that way? She gave him some money for a coffee but never wanted it back.

>>91641960
KARL, if this is happening in the future then that means ROBIN HOOD IS FUCKING DEAD! you manc. did you really think that Robin fuckin' Hood is gonna be training a samurai? Idiot.

>>91642010
>Nah but he trained with him back in the past, right? It's like, 'how did he get his skills,' and that's how. His da was friends with these chaps, so, you know, he called in a favor to train his son. He's the Emperor and all.

>>91641980
Aren't they married?

>>91641603
Steven Merchant can't take what he dishes out either.

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>>91639910

old cold belly badness

I regret nothing

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>>91640256

>>91644896
this isn't the littlest pet shop thread

>>91642659
no, karl doesnt see much sense in marriage

>>91640968
I think Karl works in pretty much any setting, real or fictional.
>So I went to Antarctica, an' it turns out there's these two blokes sittin' outside a burnin' cabin.
>They were havin' some kinda starin' contest 'r somethin' cause they weren't answerin' me
>"How do you know they weren't frozen to death?"
>Well when I asked if I could 'ave some whiskey, he snapped at me. Took out some kinda big gun, yeah?

>>91645214
Oh man he totally does

So there's these three bears right
kind of like...the stooges and they live in San Francisco
except they aint gay fellas they're actual bears

>>91641334
>unironically defending shiteven cancerverse

>>91645400
>So I left
>"Well, even you aren't that stupid."
>An' I kept walkin' an' I foun' this big group of diamons 'r ice 'r somethin' an there was this bloke in blue with an s on 'im just flyin' 'bout.
>So I ask 'im, I ask him if he's that bloke who killed that drill thin' from a few years back, yea?

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>>91639910
UUHOOOOOOOHHH, CHIMPANZEE THAT

>>91642051
What do you mean an ancient Emperor was friends with Robin Hood?!! What do you mean?....Bollocks.

So there's this show about this kid and his dog... Well I mean, he's a dog but he's also the... eh... the kids brother. Anyway, this kid runs about, and um... he's the big hero and stuff.

But the thing is, he gets off to a piece of gum.

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>>91639910

>>91646476
What fucking rubbish are you talking about!? Getting off to a piece of gum!? Karl, that's absolute bollocks!

>>91646581
Well, the thing is shes not actually just gum. shes a gum girl. probably a nice gum girl as well, since this old fella likes the look of her as well.

But like, not all the time you see? Sometimes there this fire girl abouts. not like fireman sam, like shes really made of fire.

>>91641526
He's not even stupid, he just lacks common sense and can't articulate his thoughts worth a shit.

>>91640939
I picture him having a raging boner everytime he dissed at Karl or called Steve a google-eyed freak

>>91646439
>Eh...y'know. Hm...well, it's legal, innit? I mean, no rule they can be, uh, y'know...friends r'such. Say they...hm...y'know, met while golfing once, or sommat.

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>>91645573
>except they aint gay fellas they're actual bears

>>91648080
>No, I'm not havin' a go, I'm just saying.

>>91645214
That's the ending of The Thing, right?

>>91646783
What's this supposed to reference? Plz no bully

>>91641526
I will never hate a guy who is responsible for this bit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0nRQCTn8Qo

>>91640939
That's more of a summary of his entire career

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>>91647853
He's also really poor at putting himself in other people's shoes. A lot of his stupid conclusions come from him assuming that everyone and everything, including even animals and inanimate objects, must have the same thought processes and mindset as him.

>>91648685
She looks for it in the box, this image is retarded.

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>>91648732
Come on now.

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>So um... you how like there was that show that yer sister watched? Like you wanted to put on He-Man but she always wanted to see that cartoon with like... talking animals that lived in clouds-
>>Right, the Care Bears
>No ... they were like-
>>Yeah you're talking about the fucking Care Bears you stupid little man
>>>let him finish Ricky
>The Little Ponies innit?
>>Fuuucking hell
>>>Let him finish. Go on Karl
>So anyway I had to get up early the other Saturday-
>>What time was that then? What constitutes "early" for Karl Pilkington?
>Ummm... about... eleven-
>>Right
>-eleven-ish? Suzanne had been knocking about downstairs getting a new couch put in and it woke me up. I could hear her tellin' the furniture men to carry it around the livin'room.
>>And what were you doing while your wife was left dealing with tradesmen?
>.... pffffffffff.... um....
>>>Masturbating.
>jus' havin' a snooze I guess.
>>>Masturbating.
>No, I was snoozin, as I said it was early, for me. And I don't wank in the morning anyhow, its not good for ye. So anyway-
>>Whoah hold on. Back up. "Wanking is not good for you"?
>Not *in the morning*, it causes cancer - I read it. Some scientists did a study didn'ey?
>>Oh fuck off Karl. You're talking bollocks. Complete. Bollocks. Wanking does not cause cance-
>>>Let him finish Ricky.
>So yeah I was havin' a snooze an-
>>Karl
>-an gettin' right fed up with the racket downsta-
>>Karl
>-airs waking me up
>>Karl. You ridiculous orange-headed man, what the fuck does any of this have to do with miniature colourful ungulates?
>ungu-wha?
>>>My Little Pony, Karl. Go on.
>Oh yeah, so I turned on the telly - we got one off Suzanne's parents for the bedroom, so we 'ave something to look at in there when we ain't snoozin'-
>>Fucking hell Karl.
>And yeah, so its still on.
>>My Little Pony.
>Yeah.
>>>What did you make of it Karl?
>S'alright.
>>>... Is that it? That's the story?
>Yeah, s'alright.
>>Karl if you were a pony, the picture on your arse would be a fucking orange.

>>91641622
so um... if it 's called gem home world.. donthca think that um... they would go about calling here human home world, right?

>>91648162
Fresh Prince of Bel Air

>>91648162
Ignore >>91649873 he's just trying to be funny

It's supposed to be Good Times.

>>91648117
Hit the nail on the head.

>>91648732
I have some bad news for you anon https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sally%E2%80%93Anne_test

This meme is dead.

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>>91648685
Let's be honest, he would probably question why Sally put the ball in the basket in the first place.

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>>91640939
I still remember when Karl was right and Ricky was wrong.
Karl said we see the same side of the moon during its entire rotation around earth. Ricky went on a fucking long ass rant about how retarded Karl was.

It was so painful to listen to.

Also Karl is super chill and Ricky is a self absorbed cunt.

>>91648685
>There is a clear bulge in the sheet covering the basket when Sally leaves her ball there
>There is no bulge in the sheet when Sally comes back

Clearly Sally would look in the box since she's not an idiot.

>>91652616
That's actually a pretty good point. It obviously doesn't work in the verbal version of the test, but it fucks up the visual version.

>>91652584
>I still remember when Karl was right and Ricky was wrong.
You say that as if it only happened once and Ricky is not continually, constantly spewing shit right out of his ass.

>Ricky claims the British refused to use crossbows instead of longbows because they thought it was "unsporting" to use the clearly superior weapon, not because the longbow fires more arrows, fires them harder and faster and the only disadvantage is that they require training to use which british troops already had
>Ricky laughs and calls Karl mental when he tries to bring up the 'if two people were cloned, how could they know which one was the original' paradox, despite that being a thought experiment that men much smarter then Ricky have spent many hours pondering
>Ricky tries to defend the UK's insane "you can't just put your shit on the sidewalk to get rid of it via the garbage truck anymore, you have to call the government and have them pick it up at your expense" law by citing the example of a blind man tripping over a sofa put off to the side of a sidewalk, as if blind people just blindly stumble forward and don't have any way to figure out if shit's in their path, or as if there was an epidemic of blind people tripping over old couches before the law was implemented

Those are just off the top of my head but in general Ricky is always spouting off shit.

>>91645108
See, he is smart after all.

WHO THE FUCK IS CLIVE WARREN?

>>91652787
You're right that Ricky has been wrong several times.
The moon one was just so basic and obvious that it was painful, at least for me.

I fucking loved this show to bits, I wish there was another animated podcast like it out there

>>91648297
This show needs some youpoop treatment

>>91639910
They're not lesbians. Lesbians care whether or not the partner is a man. Gems don't.

>>91641622
I keked.

>>91648162
Facts of Life.

>>91648685
>well like, why is there just this big 'ol room with nothin but a basket and a box. You ever seen a room with just tha? Mental, that's what tha is.

>>91652480
>Why wouldn she jus leave it ou? Rooms empty, ball's not gonna make much clutter.

PLAY A RECORD

>>91656793
We... don't know that for sure. But yes, we can safely say that not all gems are lesbians.

>>91657420
Gems are magic energy beings, why would they care about biology?