ITT: You are in charge of making a Barney cartoon that isn't

>>91328919
Give them all noodly limbs then animate it in flash

Give them feathers

>>91328919
Add ponies

Just get to the pony memes and fuck off.

Pop cult memes out the wazoo

>>91328919
Never understood why the fuck the triceratops girl had ears

>>91328919
Put Hitler in as a character, have the dinosaurs explicitly practice Satanism, onscreen fucking, onscreen shitting, more swearing.

>>91328919
Add ironic self-aware references to its reputation as a baby show or some shit like that.

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You have to make it satirical. In fact, any conventional attempt at broadening the audience will undoubtedly fail as long as people like Lee are around who think Barney is some universal constant of pure babbyness.

What you do is you keep the physical format the same. all the costumes and sets should be pretty much the same, and it should also feature simple stories that kids can amuse themselves with. But you have to insert a shitton of vague cameos, references, quotes, etc. to high-level political and literary figures to make anyone willing to jump the social gap feel like they are enlightened for doing so

kids ask Barney why they should share their cookies and he chuckles loudly and quotes Mao Zedong.
Barney holds a special 'enhanced learning' segment that seems to be the same as the regular episodes but on closer inspection the kids appear to be drugged, and one of the smaller dinosaurs is holding a police baton behind their back
They introduce a special guest to explain how adult jobs work, but he's pulled away with a shepherd's cane after its discovered that he's a Bolshevik party member and Barney explains to the kids how the Soviet Union was a Baltic conspiracy against the true noble lineage of Rus
but all the weird parts are either over really quickly, hidden in the background while something else is going on or done in a way that little kids wouldn't notice

>>91328919
2d, no humans, writing that doesn't baby talk to its audience and a setting that is consistent and logical in itself.
In essence, just a normal cartoon.

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>>91328919
Make it aimed at toddlers and furries.

>>91328919
Every day kids were getting their daily dose from this

>>91328919
Turn them into realistic dinos. Boom, audience found. Everyone loves dinosaurs.

>>91328919
porn, furry porn, jurassic furry PORN

Is this because I brought up the MLP movie in another thread?

>>91329316
I hate dinosaurs.

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>>91329316
>realistic dinos
You'd make a lot of people butthurt about how it's "just a big turkey" though.

>>91328919
make it like the muppet show.

done.

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>>91328919
How can I find myself a woman with thighs like that

Totally progressive pedophile tolerance show where Barney and BJ lure children to their house with magic tricks and Baby Bop, to the viewer's confusion, is involved in the cp ring. The MC is a child that eventually is liberated from their oppressive parents and becomes a darknet superstar who gets paid in wine coolers.

>>91328919
hire barneyfag to fix barney.

>>91329549
I want to fuck that birb...

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>>91329549
Looks better than those dinos from Jurassic World that are always 100% grey. It would be nice to see more colorful dinos

>>91329549

This is not helping my until-recently-unknown-even-to-myself fetish for raptor girls.

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>aim the target demographic all over the fucking place so it doesn't quite fit anywhere, giving it an offbeat/guilty pleasure vibe (keep it a show about learning kindergarten-tier lessons, but also force a gratuitous amount of real world references into the mix to make it seem vaguely more lucid than the premise advertises)
>overuse cheap satire to subvert the franchise's babyish reputation, but still keep Barney's personality in-tact, often at contrast with a drastically altered enviornment
>also, the dinos are now sentiment kaijus roughly to scale of their real-life dinosaur counterparts, but are still played by people in anthropomorphized cartoon fursuits. this is never challenged by anyone, people will just accept this in-canon with no explanation
>stuff a whole fucking bunch of unnecessary lore up the show's ass (plus additional dino characters, possible some antagonists, etc.), but overall it's still a slice of life with bland, unchallenging morals

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I'm inclined to agree that you can't do this shit unironically.

Barney never had the intelligence found in better children's entertainment (Sesame Street) nor the safe, educational authority (Mr. Rogers) and was basically just "something the kids can watch without learning the word 'fuck'". As the phenomenon's target demographic at the height of its popularity, I remember vividly that most of the kids never actually LIKED it, they just consumed the media their parents were giving them.

Add that to one of the biggest hatedoms in pop culture history and you have a license that embarrasses anyone old enough walk.

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>>91331618
You should not have these kinds of thoughts, Boco.

The organization does not approve.

Seek psychological help before it is too late.

Make Barney a pedophile drunk that can't take it anymore (similar to Bojack Horseman).

>>91331781

So the old movie Death to Smoochy?

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>>91331618
What about mind-controlling, dominating Dino-snek?

>>91331975

Well, I've had a thing for her ever since 1994.

>>91331713
my cousin was obsessed with it. every time I did the barney voice she'd get incredibly pissed off.

pretty funny.

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>>91331975
>>91331999

Incidentally, her avatar is one of the few (like, you can count on one hand) good things to come from Primal Rage 2.

>>91331618
raptors best dinosaur.

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>>91329746
Just a reminder that Barneyfag once stated he had seen the Barney the Dinosaur movie.

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>>91328919
Hire /our guy/ Lee Goldson to direct it.

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>>91328919
Make it Cyberchase but with time-traveling dinosaurs, and Hacker is replaced with a big-tittied triceratops

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Grimdark reboot. The yellow fag gets killed. Barney has PTSD and developed alcoholism for not being able to save him. Killing criminals and teaching life lessons.

>>91331975
>>91332032
I'd love to see IDW do a Godzilla-esque Primal Rage revival.

>>91332293

I'd slaughter a goat for a new game.

>>91332324
Have you tried?

>>91332424

No. Too lazy to put down newspapers.

>>91332569
You could try sacrificing something else.

>>91329227
Damn dude, got communism on your mind much? You got an exam on history coming up or something?

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>>91332105

>>91331713
this movie gets a bad rap.

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>>91328919
In an alternate futuristic society, Dinosaurs have been brought back from extinction as as Dinosaur people. Barney is a kindergarten teacher who has just been hired. But not everything is great. Some people are racist against the Dinosaurs and don't want Barney teaching their children. In addition Barney has very short arms and thus has trouble with certain tasks. So some of the factuly feel he is a worthless diversity hire. Barney must now show them they are wrong by helping his students achieve their potential and learn important lessons.

>>91328919
Hot female dinosaur the same age as Barney.

>>91331713
>Barney never had the intelligence found in better children's entertainment (Sesame Street)
Funny, it was intentionally designed as an anti-thesis to Sesame Street. While Sesame Street was aimed at parents watching with kids; Barney was aimed at children specifically.

>>91328919
Thanks doc

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>>91334612
I've yet to see a case where adults pandering to children directly is actually a good idea. Adults are shaped by their childhood exposures, and media designed to serve only their intelligence and tastes at that level can't possibly be constructive. There's nothing wrong with jangling your keys to entertain a small child, but they aren't going to learn anything or develop any long-lasting memories from it and you shouldn't pretend that they will. Barney was no more "educational" than Looney Toons, but those were never billed to be.

At least stuff like Teletubbies is intended for actual infants and has the side-effect of being excellent stoner fuel.

>>91328919
Make it a Sin City stylized noir series about Funland where Barney learns that life isn't all rainbows and peanut butter sandwiches as BJ gets gunned down by the Teletubbies for being too behind on his payments, and Beebop whoring herself out to support her three children under the iron fist of an extremely abusive pimp named Lambchop.

The series ends with Barney standing on top of a skyscraper, and looking down on the city. It's raining. "I don't love you." He would whisper, before pulling the trigger with his one giant finger, the screen would follow his fall towards the cement, cut to black right before impact.

>>91335320
I've heard some Barney fans say that the show's lack of parental appeal actually helps kids understand the content in the show better. Sesame Street seems to be going down that same path, apparently, from research that shows that parents aren't spending as much time watching TV with their kids.

Exactly the same as the original show except Barney is voiced by Gilbert Gottfried

>>91333027
That...actually doesn't sound half-bad.

>>91332946
Only from elitist critics like Ebert. To me, it's pretty good.

>>91331747
I thought you were fucking dead

>>91332068
his deviantart page has entire essays of barney episode revies

>>91328919
keep it exactly the same but add lore
/co/ will watch anything with lore
there will be people unironically complaining about "filler" episodes of fucking barney the dinosaur

>>91339946
dark comedies tend to get unfairly derided. same happened to the cable guy.

Where is he?

>>91340453
He doesn't do anything when you post actual Barney

>>91333027
That's so good ! It should like a good heart warming drama film and tv show

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>>91333027
Theodore Rex?

>>91333027
Give him feathers and I'm sold.

>>91331618
shut up Boco.

>>91331670
I want to watch this.

>>91331670
you sir are hired

Spoonfeed me /co/, who is Barneyfag and why does he hate Barney so much?

>>91342697
Autistic pedophile who thinks My Little Pony traumatized him and so he insists on calling it Barney in an attempt to insult the fans
That's all you really need to know

>>91342839
>pedophile
Since when? Was it found out when he got doxxed?

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>>91342697

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>>91332105

Damn, I'd unironically watch this.

>>91333027

That actually sounds like a very sweet, grounded, story idea with a good natured, earnest, message.

I like it.
I'd watch it.

>>91342928
It was found out when his picture was shown
There is no way that guy isn't a pedophile

>>91343024
He looks like a brony desu, I haven't seen him in weeks though has he finally killed himself or what?

>>91342976
Splatoon is actually good, though.

>>91343024
>lol he has a moustache so he's a pedo
So you're calling anyone with a moustache a pedo? I can't imagine how many you see every day then.

>>91343077
Anyone with a pedo stache is a pedo

Also, retarded ass Moe Howard/Pete Rose haircut
He's also clearly a Jew and autistic

>>91342697

IIRC back on the farms he actually came into his thread and explained that he was forced to watch barney (as he is legitimately autistic) in his school programs. He dosent like barney and hates children's media because of it. He found mlp to be in the same hate feild as the purple dinosaur and started to self moderate to keep horse fags out.

>>91343091
He's also Canadian, let's not forget all the reasons to hate that screeching autist. He hits all the marks.

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Put heavier focus on his wife Betty.

And have his son Bamm-Bamm wack/beat up anyone trying to hit on his wife.

>>91343060
Yea.

>>91343060
No it isn't

>>91343981
Yes, it is, Splatoon 2's test fire was also great.

>>91344018
No Nintendo game is great, grow up

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>>91344136
Yes, it is, has this taught you anything?

>>91343831
Only degenerates hate him

>>91329654
To wider audience anon!

>>91333027
With the personality of Beast from the X-Men.

>>91339998
Go to /sug/ sometime.

>>91328947
Expanding on this, they also need bean shaped heads and smiles.

Reminder that this is a Lee thread that he made himself, in the recent threads he tried to get shut down he didn't even spam his usual spam and has been hiding lately

Yet, he still craves attention, reminder that he is just an attentionfag trying his hardest to become Horsefamous, fuck this autistic faggot

>>91347564
Stop trying to force this narrative. I bet you're one of those faggots that believes he also made the anti-/pol/ and anti-weeb threads on /qa/ (RIP). His hate crusade doesn't stretch that far.

>>91343886
Heh, nice one