You only get three wishes You know the limitations (Can't

>>90868476
I wish god killed himself, i wish the after life doesnt exsist, and i wish to die and go into oblivion

>Mabel, Wendy, and Ford are far better written.

>Those shows I like get at least one more season each, and they're all good.

>That show idea I had gets made, and it's great, popular and runs just as long as it needs to.

>>90868476

I wish for the knowledge of how genies came to possess the ability to grant wishes.

>>90868476
removal of nudity taboo and all forms of censorship, infinite money in a way I can't get in trouble for, and then set you free
>>90868552
ever heard of books? they're just demons, guy.

I'd be fine with Jafar Sorcerer Supreme powers, and then the second wish be that nothing can take them away from me. Third would just be total immortality. Jafar was an idiot and already had a shit load of power.

File: -c19527cc2d948a57c8f1056e050dece11391925007.jpg (18KB, 600x324px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 600x324px

>>90868552
>Answer: PHENOMICAL COSMIC POWER

Congrats
2 wishes left

>>90868736
http://tapastic.com/series/A-BETTER-PLACE

>>90868541
>Can't kill anyone
Ya hecked up.

I want to be able to eat like a human trash can and never get fat, total immunity to all viruses and diseases, and money.

>>90868724
>removal of nudity taboo and all forms of censorship

What a fucking waste, you would just make /b/ real life but full of disgusting fat and old people too.

>>90868812
youd be surprised how much healthier and more fit people get without clothes overheating them. besides fat naked is better than fat crammed into clothing like a sausage

youre right though I fucked up, I need to cure my own health issues and the health issues of others or that'll be worthless. also fix age of consent and like 30 other things. uhh i need more wishes, genie. i realize it's against the rules, but you realize your last one gets you set free, right? and then who's gonna enforce that shit

>>90868782
But god would be doing the killing. Its an indirect thing because now god has the urge to commit sudoku

File: Ringfrodo1362212489.jpg (34KB, 568x303px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 568x303px

- I wish for a ring that grants me the power of whatever i say that i want to come true or that i want to happen will just happen.

- I can never lose this ring or have it stolen from me.

-I can turn the power of the ring on and off at will.

File: Out and about.jpg (88KB, 758x1200px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 758x1200px

>>90868476
1. I wish my girlfriend's body was biologically female and that her dysphoria was cured. (If that counts as two wishes, drop Wish 3.)

2. I wish I had functionally infinite money without anyone asking any questions about it or where it came from.

3. I wish everyone on Earth was in perfect health for their age.

File: 12341234576.jpg (62KB, 581x532px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 581x532px

1st wish.
I wish I could wish to kill anyone, make them love me and resurrect
2nd wish
Wish I could make more wishes.
3rd wish
Wish for more wishes

Check mate.

Reality Manipulation

>>90868476

- I wish Disney makes a live-action remake of Atlantis,now that they're at it. But make it a GOOD movie,not a shitty thing.

- I wish The Simpsons to finally end. Enough is enough.

- I wish for animation to be finally taken seriously as a media. I want my Hellboy series,damn it!

Perfect health, more money than I would ever need, aaaaaaaand...lets go with a giant dinosaur mech.

>>90868902
I was objecting to wish three there actually.

>>90869036
Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill...

How much is the genie going to dick me with Irony?

Also I feel like there is only 2 wishes worth making
>I Wish none of my Djinn wishes would result in horribly Ironies that ruin my ability to enjoy my wishes
>I wish I had Phenomenal Cosmic Power with out being bound like a Djinn


Boom. Grant your own damn wishes and keep you Djinn as a Prisoner/Friend until you an hero near the Heat Death of the Universe.

>>90869195
If it's the one from Aladdin, not at all.

What would you wish for if PCP wasn't an option?

>>90868476
I wish for more wishes.

1. I wish for thirteen talismans. When worn, the talismans will grant the wearer immortality, healing their wounds and sicknesses instantly, bringing them to peak youth/health and granting them endless stamina. The talismans can only be removed voluntarily by the wearer.

I think I'll save the next two wishes until I'm a few thousand years the wiser.

>>90869239
Fantastic Mystical Abilities

File: 1489521547338.gif (196KB, 320x291px) Image search: [Google]

196KB, 320x291px

>>90869385

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zoj2mJWlKUk

>>90868736
>Third would just be total immortality.

You want eternal youth anon, immortality doesn't imply that you wont age just that you wont die.

>>90868476
I want the body, abilities, voice, and appearance of Perfect Kars.

I want the powers, knowledge, and skills, of the God-Emperor of Mankind.

I want my mom to be healthy.

>>90869580
Good thing anon wished some mystic powers to fix this.

First off I wish to have a very detailed map that changes real-time depicting the location of all other Genie Lamps and all other wish-granting artifacts. And of course I'd be very specific about the form and durability of the map.

1) I wish to retroactively remove the concept of me having a limit on the number of wishes I can have.
2) I wish to retroactively remove the concept of me not being allowed to kill anyone.
3) I wish to retroactively remove the concept of me not being to make people fall in love.
4)I wish to retroactively remove the concept of me not being able to bring anyone back from the dead.

>>90868476
Full control over time, space, and energy. Boom, omnipotent.

>>90869841

This sounds like the setup for an oglaf comic where it turns out all the other wish-granting artifacts are dildos.

>>90869898
Best ending.

>>90869841
>it's blank
One wish wasted.

>>90869873
>>90869036
>>90868965
ITT: Bitch niggers trying to show off how smart they are instead of stating wishes that tell us about them, because they're insecure pussies.

>Be the best at everything I attempt to do
>Ability to stop time and restart it at will
>Always being able to pull out of my pocket/wallet/shoe/random hole on a wall/asshole the exact amount of cash I require for any acquisition.

>>90869964
>One wish wasted.
More like wish well-used. Knowing no one else can fuck up my wishes is valuable information, well worth a wish. And since it updates real-time, it's future-proof.

>>90868476
>Enough money that I never have to work again
>Badass magic powers, as much as I can legally get without crossing the "now you're a genie" line
>And horns

1. That my family can always be safe and stable financially
2. That I can just carry on with my life without always letting things in the past get in the way and hating myself for it
3. That I didn't require sleep

I wish to remember what my wish was.

>>90870136
>That I didn't require sleep
Don't forget to stipulate that you still can sleep. Sometimes a nice nap is good.

>>90870039
As the guy who made horns his final wish, I ain't gonna second guess ya.

>>90868476
I wish for magic powers
I wish for a billion dollars
I wish for three more wishes

File: 38042160_p0.jpg (157KB, 384x800px) Image search: [Google]

157KB, 384x800px

>>90868476
>I wish to live forever with perfect youth/health
>I wish to be able to read people's minds
>I wish to have shapeshifting powers
This way I can spend eternity being different people. I think I'll be a loser in the next life but this time as a cute Japanese schoolgirl...

Aladdin's first wish was a cop out by Genie.

>>90870260
Hey, man, Death Note. What screwed up all of Light's plans? Not some autistic Sherlock Holmes, or a vengeful god, or his own incompetence- though one could argue his own hubris did to some degree- but mostly it was some other moron who got their hands on the same magic and made everything a convoluted mess.

If you got all the magic then the magic lamp really is everything it appears to be. But if this shit is everywhere then somehow or another you're going to get undermined or one-upped by another jack-ass out there. So, you know, I gotta know. Maybe someone else already beat me to the punch and is going to one-up me anyway, but I gotta know. There can be only one.

File: 1434740908979.png (275KB, 1384x497px) Image search: [Google]

275KB, 1384x497px

>>90868476
Look, we've discussed this before. 1. I want you to turn into a genie shantae, and 2. I want to have sex with you.

File: Robin williams activates friend like me.jpg (72KB, 625x352px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 625x352px

-everything is now a jojos reference

-stands are real but it takes a minimum of 1 year of constant training to aquire 1.

>>90870371
You wanna read minds so you could replace people or just cause?

File: -Seg068-572149034.jpg (28KB, 512x384px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 512x384px

>>90870463
Is An Eden from the television series fine too?

>>90868476
>can't make people fall in love
i wish XXX felt uncontrollable lust for me

>Can't kill anyone
i wish XXX was on the moon

>can't bring anyone back from the dead
whelp can't cheat em all

i wish i donald trump was poor his children were poor and every member of his family who shared 50 percent of his dna and all their children until the 10th generation

1)In any event where I am near death, I wish for my memory to be sent back in time and overwrite my current mind exactly ten seconds from the point where this wish takes effect.
2) I wish to have a full understanding of the mentality and reasoning of every person I encounter
3) I wish you wanted to give me free wishes.

Go back in time before Robin Williams died.

Cure both of our depression.

Free the genie.

>>90868476
You forgot to include the part where you wish for more wishes.

>Everyone in the world (that can afford it) deposits $10 into my bank account.
>I have perfect health for the rest of my life.
>I have the ability to clone myself so I can be in multiple places at once. I also learn anything the clones do.

>>90870672
>can't bring anyone back from the dead
Just create a Star Trek Teleporter scenario esque body double.
>I wish for you to create an exact, molecule-for-molecule duplicate of my brother from two hours before he died.

>>90868476

I wish for the ability to draw at a level that rivals the world's best illustrators.

I wish to age at half the normal speed of others so that I can twice as long as a normal person, which will let me draw twice as much shit as I would have in a normal lifespan.

And I wish to have a working Death Note. ...hey, you said YOU couldn't kill anyone, you big blue dumbass - you never said I couldn't get the power to kill anyone!

I wish for 10 more genies who aren't bound by your rules.

>>90871059

>The genies aren't bound by the rule to obey their master

>>90871143
Shit, then I wish for 10 more genies that were bound by the rule to obey me but not anything else

MORE GENIES

>>90871173
Sorry, the first ten bonus genies have already turned your mouth into a second anus.

>>90871206

I wish the number of genies on this planet and the number of humans on this planet were inverted.

>>90871216
RIP Anon.

>>90871227
>you are replaced by a genie

>>90871262
They heard he was talkin' shit.

File: ed7.jpg (46KB, 600x632px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 600x632px

>>90871320

>>90868476
I wish humanity discovered a safe, relatively cheap, form of FTL space travel. I wish for free universal and near instant wifi, and I wish I had the motivation to go and be the best that i can be.

>>90868476
1: For climate change to be resolved and defeated so the environment can be safe.

2: A permanent clear peaceful mind so that stop procrastinating and write.

3: To become an eighteen-year-old woman.

>>90869195
if you have near unlimited cosmic power, why don't you just breath new life into the universe?

>I wish I could mind control people but in a way they would never realize they're mind controlled and think those ideas I implanted in their head were their own
>I wish to be able to shapeshift my body into any possible human body
>I wish to not ever age

File: S2E31_Marco_receives_his_own_dimensional_scissors.png (1MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1920x1080px

I wish to speak, read, and understand all languages at an instinctive level

I wish for a bag with magical properties that will be described by me as part of this wish

I wish for a handheld portal generating device that lets me move between dimensions and into worlds of fiction (make em look like the scissors from star vs)

The bag will be indestructible, operate as a bag of holding from dungeons and dragons, will appear next to me whenever it is needed, I will gain the ability (but not the knowledge) to use anything placed in the bag, and can change itself into any other baglike form at my discretion.

I then proceed to travel to various fictional worlds and steal stuff to put in my magic bag. A couple vials of water from the Tuck Everlasting's fountain of youth,magical wands and staves from places like Harry Potter, a few magical tomes from various universes, try and steal Jack Sparrow's compass, so on and so forth.

>>90868476

1)I wish that I had the power to bring people back from the dead.

Genie said he himself can't bring someone back from the dead, he never stated he couldn't bestow that power on anyone else. Loopholes are a bitch.

2)Immortality.

I then keep genie around forever, as an emergency backup plan in case something disrupts my reign as Lich King.

>>90870844
Note that Genie implies that he is able to bring people back from the dead, but it's his personal policy not to because he doesn't like the consequences.

>>90868476
>persuasion powers
>never get caught in any crime
>infinite wisdom

>>90868902
The wish is still causing it, you still violate rule 1.

>>90870538
You can't magic people into falling in love with you but you can replicate it with mind reading and shapeshifting, you can adjust your behavior and appearance as needed.

File: tmp_23238-1486103571094-2070535432.jpg (31KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 640x480px

>>90868476
1. Permanent financial security. Not really riches, but just well enough where money is never an issue. I'm not greedy, I just want to focus on my hobbies more rather then my job consuming most of my time.

2. Peace of mind. No longer worrying about my past regrets, not being insecure about myself, no more existential crisis, no more fearing about death in random bouts of depression, just peace.

3. I don't need anything else after that. If the Genie is good, them might as well set him free.

>>90868476
1. powers of emma frost

2. ability to summon lolis for endless banging

3. set the genie free

1. $100 billion in my bank account
2. Ability to shapeshift just by imagining what I want to look like
3. Set genie free

If this is Aladdin's genie we're talking about here instead of the fuck-you-over-demon type genie, those are my three. Otherwise:

1. Imperviousness to cruel irony resulting from any of my wishes
2. $100 billion in my bank account
3. Imperviousness to any wishes made by anyone who comes into possession of the genie after me

>>90869781
F

>>90869964
Fuck off stupid

File: 1489933994010.png (453KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

453KB, 1280x720px

>I wish for your freedom.

I've been handed nothing my whole life and had to earn it, why should I start now?

>>90868476
Question: Does wishing to alter history such that someone never died (e.g. Robin Williams was found and saved before he could kill himself) count as wishing them back to life?

File: U MAD.png (173KB, 577x571px) Image search: [Google]

173KB, 577x571px

>>90873125
Howdy, bitch nigger.

>>90873119
Thanks anon.

>I wish for immortality.
>I wish for my mind and health to stay as stable as they are now.
>I wish for complete control of Earth's fate and history.

I kind of wanted a fourth wish. I'd have used it to send that foolish samurai into the future.

>>90868476
If it's nice (Aladdin genie) I won't care much about the wording of these

If it's a Djinn, I'd lawyer the fuck out of em... but in essence:

1. Complete ability to change my own body/biology

2. Nothing can ever harm me unless I want it to

3. I can share this power with those I am close to

I'm now an immortal, healthy, super powered guy who just has to bide his time, save up some cash and collect friends I want to take with me to go explore the universe. Or turn Mars into a giant computer to simulate virtual realities so I can live out all my other fantasies

>>90872801
ouch, you fucked up, not because the genie is an ass but because of the nature of your wishes, worries are what make us do things. if you have no worries you will just lie there content forever.

>>90873202
you could use two wishes, wish you and the genie back in time before his death and then wish his depression cured.

>>90873174
If you survived past the age of four, that's just a lie.

Hell, four is being generous.

>>90873395
>worries are what make us do things
nay, it is want.

I want a sandwich. It isn't worry that I'll starve that makes me want the sandwich, it's just want. Gluttony, greed, maybe, if you will. But not worry.

>>90873437
>implying he didn't beat up his mom as an infant and steal the milk from her tig ol' bitties

File: Cool Story Mon Ami.jpg (69KB, 574x430px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 574x430px

>>90868980
>girlfriend
>not female

Sorry guy, no amount of surgery can remove that Y chromosome

>>90873540
which is why he is making a wish about it, dumbass

>>90868476

Now you can't bring people back from the dead, sure.

But can you wish to go back in time to prevent death?

Because I'd like that Genie.

>>90873582
Careful you don't get a Bill Murray/Groundhog Day situation where "it was just their time"

But the ability to time travel would be a neat ability regardless

File: tmp_23238-1488499861625m-263680002.jpg (133KB, 1024x1024px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 1024x1024px

>>90873395
Not really. I just said I want to have more opportunities doing what I love and getting better at things, and that's all I really want. I don't need mental problems to motivate me.

>I wish for all mecha to be real as long as humanity is guaranteed to survive.
>I wish for a pocket dimension that I have complete control over and can access anytime
>I wish for the ability spectate and "go ghost" so I can watch over important people

>>90868476
World Peace
Most powerful sorcerer in the world
A stable living for all families on earth

>>90873753
>A stable living for all families on earth

What about people without families? You cruel bastard.

File: shiggy2.jpg (60KB, 539x771px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 539x771px

I'd draw the wishes out over time, hopefully bonding with the Genie and with the promise I'd free him on the third wish.

1. Wish for the human race as a whole to evolve psychologically along side it's technological advancements, doing away with old morals, ignorance, and greed that bogs down society and will end up dooming the race

2. Wish to have the powers, knowledge, and IQ of Victor Von Doom yet retain my personality. (Get my zeisty magic, immortality, and shit outta this one boys)

3. Be free my dude

>>90873753
>Most powerful sorcerer in the world
Hope to God that your Genie isn't an asshole because there are no sorcerers in the world so anything is automatically better so you might get like one spell. I'd say something like I wish for an unmeasurable amount of arcane power or to be a level 20 sorcerer. wizards are better then sorcerers anyway

Wish #1. I want a device with the following properties installed on my arm:
-cannot be removed, destroyed, hacked, tampered with, tricked, used by anyone else, and fully understands my thoughts/words/emotions/intentions.

-Can create portals to any dimension, universe, location, time period.

-Can scan, store, absorb, disassemble, record, reassemble, and replicate anything composed of atoms, including their specific decay and energy rates for every single atom.

-is connected to and interacts with my body, forming a source of oxygenated blood, waste removal, blood cell replication to repair injuries, etc.

Wish #2. I want 'The Gamer' trait, allowing me to interact with everything as an RPG. This includes but is not limited to inventory, skills/perks, stats, health/mana, magic, resistances, language setting, map, crafting, tooltips, and more.

Wish #3. Release the genie and 'wish' him a happy life.

File: a640ebd8052ec1dc56d0228ee062337d.jpg (11KB, 236x227px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 236x227px

Wish 1: I wish all physical problems and mental problems within a living being's body could be healed if they desire it. *Living with chronic backpain is a fucking bitch*

2.I wish monster girls similar to those from popular current media existed *Monster girl quest,Monmusu and Demi-chan, nonpredatory towards humans and pets. All accepted by humans and treated as equals

3. I wish for the ability to perfectly impersonate Steve Blum,Mark Hamill,and Morgan Freeman's voices

>>90868476
Fries are healthy food forever
???
Wish profit

>>90869580
>eternal youth anon
>Get made into an eternal baby

>>90870463
BUT WHATS YOUR THIRD WISH ANON

>>90873937
Basically, I want to be the ultimate master of everything like most other anons here, but at least I'll have to do the legwork to get it.

>>90868476
I wish I had the power of omniscience
I wish I had the power to time travel
I wish for heaven to exist

>>90874008

If the monstergirls are accepted by all humans, how are you supposed to seduce them by being the only one to accept thme?

>>90868724
No,they are not ,they're failed humans.

Just wish for more genies!

>Financial stability for me and my relatives

>Incapable of being killed outside of natural causes

>Be able to create "save states" of my current life, being able to relive said moments whenever I dream, and can change whatever happens. At the end of the dream, I can choose to either restart from that point or continue on in current life

Though I feel like a complex wish might count as two wishes but who knows.

>>90874127
Djinn are canon created by Allah. Heaven is already confirmed for Brawl

>>90868476
1. I wish for all sapient beings to have their bodies robust enough that they can live free of physical pain or the fear of violence,
2. I wish for them to be more in tune with their positive and empathetic emotions, easily able to channel them into creative or otherwise worthwhile pursuits,
3. Finally, I wish for them to know for the whole of their life as many great and little joys as they can handle without it turning counterproductive.

>>90868476
I wish for the powers of a free genie semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic

That covers pretty much everything.

>>90874571
Thank goodness. In that case I would use my wish for Superman's super powers.
And then we would go traveling through time to correct the injustices of the world, safe in the knowledge that I'm doing the just thing because my omniscient powers would let me know the TRUTH. I would be like Agent Fox Mulder, discovering aliens and conspiracies, stopping assassinations and shit. End some wars maybe. Slay some puss maybe.

1. Immortal
2. Teleportation
3. A pocket dimension to store all my memories and allows me easy access to them.

>>90874151
I wouldn't deprive other lonely people of monster girls for my own selfish whims.

>>90868476
I wish for the power to control emotions
I wish for the power to control life and death
I wish for unaging immortality

>>90868476
omnipotence, more wishes, Ect.

I want you to be my friend.

>>90868476

I'll bring kindred to life, (With all various bloodline abilities that exist in VTM)

I wish to create a maker of my choosing

I set the genie free.

File: Lord Ruler.jpg (273KB, 1000x1200px) Image search: [Google]

273KB, 1000x1200px

>>90868476
All the powers of pic related, without the insanity, and with enough metal to use them all.

Perfect health for everyone.

Enough perspective for everyone in the world to stop being cunts to each other.

>>90868476
assuming I can't just get god powers or infinite wishes:
1. a portal gun that works on any surface or teleportation
2. shapeshifting
3. freedom for genie if he isn't freed automatically or disease imunity.

File: lwizard.jpg (8KB, 248x200px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 248x200px

>>90868476
Jafar's wish to be the most powerful sorcerer is basically the working method of wishing for wishes.

He can make his own kingdom, make his own gold, enslave anyone he wants at that point. Who needs the genie after that?

>>90868724
>>90874222
they are basically energy beings, god nerfed humans a lot so they can be more easily controlled.

I wish my phone calls with mom were always pleasant and never unpleasant.
I wish my mom takes my dad getting his book accepted by a publisher with good grace.
I wish she would find a nice, affordable apartment to live in after we're done talking.

File: 06.jpg (153KB, 1024x1191px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 1024x1191px

>>90876704
Only the shittiest of genies would twist such modest wishes.

>>90868476
1) I wish to be an ageless immortal
2) I wish to no longer require food/water/air while causing no changes to my physical form
3) I wish for a house-sized structure which is completely self-sufficient, contains all creature comforts, and is completely indestructible

Now I can float around in my house after humanity and the Earth dies.

>>90868476
I'm not gonna do wish for more wishes cause idk feels like you forgot about that in your rules or its just cheap and ruins what to wish for if you can wish for infinite times.
so I would wish for
1. Senzu beans to be real (or something of the like that can heal everything)
2. to live a full filling life
3. to understand

>>90868476
First wish, I want the ability painlessly and quickly shape swift into any human, mammalian, avian, reptilian or marine form I want and as well as gain the traits of those forms (if I'm a fish, I can breath underwater ect ect.)
Second wish, I want to be Nosferatu like vampire and have the powers and weaknesses you'd expect from a vampire like aging slowly and charisma.
For my last wish. I want my waifu to be real, for her to have the powers from my two previous wishes and I know roughly where she is located on our planet.
I not sure if my last wish is valid though. It seems like 3 wishes in its self. Would it be fine, anons? If not, then I wish for that magic fantasy book from the SCP website to be real and under my bed or to set my genie free if he's not a asshole.
>>90871450
>>90873391
>>90873838
>>90874008
I like these wishes. Cool anons.

I wish for you to clone yourself a million times (each one of those clones should give me two wishes)

>>90868476
1) I wish everyone were genetically healthy and fit and will remain so for the rest of our lives.

2) I wish everyone were both invulnerable and immune to all emotional, physical, mental, and parasitical diseases, illnesses, maladies, afflictions, disorders, allergies and sensitivities for the rest of our lives

3) I wish Earth's natural resources were of such abundance and capable of instantly replenishing themselves like for example, chopping down a tree and the same tree grows back overnight that even a single gold bullion would be worth less than a penny.

>>90869239
Shit nigga wish for MDMA

>>90868476
I wish I had better drawing skills, I wish that the PPG reboot was cancelled with the crew in charge fired, and I wish that Sym-Bionic Titan got another season

>>90868476
1. The ability to pause time and interact with the world

I could read/sleep/draw/steal a bit of side wealth. I think I would sneak onto planes personally

I'll sit on the last 2 so Genie can be my friend

I wish I could understand anything by listening to someone talk about it or read about it with greater ease than I currently have

I wish my reflexes were as good as they possibly could be.

I wish I had the ability to turn back time by only a few minutes, to be able to do over things I mess up

>>90877185

You're not accounting for space scaracity, especially if you remove the things that kill us off and control our numbers.

If you want all of that, you either have to slow down reproduction or build spaceships or some kind of ring structure to give earth more space.

Ya'll niggas gonna get Monkey paw'd.

Whenever you have multiple wishes, your first wish should always be
>I wish that all of my wishes, including this one, are interpreted and granted exactly how I mean them to be.

>>90877515
You think dramatic irony comes from paltry literal misinterpretations? No, the djinn gives you EXACTLY what you mean and that's what makes the irony so much more biting whenever it blows up in your face.

I wish for the ability to alter probability however I choose.
The odds of me winning the lottery tomorrow? Let's crank those up to 100%.
The odds of me being really good at learning other languages? Also 100%, and bam, I can start learning French or Japanese or whatever I want.
How about the chance that the perfect girl falls in love with me? My odds are looking pretty good.
He can keep the other two wishes, I'm good.

>>90868476
I want to have the power to enter any kind of simulation I want at will.

These simulations are incredibly lifelike and cannot be construed as fake.

They can be anything I want, the power immediately intuits all of my desires for the specific simulation and meets them all, and while I'm inside the simulation I do not know it and live an entire lifetime in whatever kind of world I want, from fantasy worlds to superhero universes to straight up magical realm shit where crazy fetishes and wanton sex are the norm. In the real world only one second will pass.

I can specify things that I want to happen in the simulation, and whatever blanks I leave will be filled in by the power, never with something I don't want.

The simulations will be emotionally rich and fulfilling, allowing me to experience the full spectrum from love to hate, misery to happiness, etc.

The laws of physics and practicality can vary from simulation to simulation, to get rid of dumb realism problems.

Any other issues I missed will be immediately fixed by the power as I come across them.

Okay, that's one wish down and I haven't broken any rules.

>>90877658
That... is a REALLY fucking good wish, anon.

Well played!

>>90877784
And it's technically not even cheating. I'm not making someone fall in love with me, I'm simply increasing the odds that someone already is in love with me.

File: Jafar_Genie.jpg (136KB, 1314x1080px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 1314x1080px

I wish to be an ALL-POWERFUL GENIE!
Seriously, I don't mind being an immortal magical sidekick to any one of you plebs. Won't even give your wishes any ironic twists or anything, unless you're a dick.

>>90868476
1. Infinite riches to spend on me, my family, my friends, and anyone in need.
2. The ability to summon one woman who will become my genuine soulmate no matter who I pick.
3. Depending on who my genie is, free the genie. If not, the ability to travel anywhere instantaneously.

>>90877185
>>90877489
My third wish is essentially unlimited natural resources so more ambitious scientific projects could be given the greenlight.

However, I can redo my third wish like this then since you put it that way:

3) I wish without dangerously and negatively affecting human evolution and development in anyway that Earth became the size of Jupiter without affecting the stability of our solar system and that this new Jupiter sized Earth was of such abundance in natural resources that it was capable of instantly replenishing themselves like for example, chopping down a tree and the same tree grows back overnight unless you harm its roots, that even a single gold bullion would be worth less than a penny.

There, a Jupiter sized Earth should take time to fill up with humans.

>>90878100

at very least it would give us room to expand out. That would be a big earth.

File: ithurts210cccc.png (371KB, 980x1268px) Image search: [Google]

371KB, 980x1268px

>>90868476
>can't make people fall in love
1. I wish I would become loveable.
2. That's really all I need, so the genie can be free now I guess.

>>90878301
I genuinely believe there's someone out there for you, anon.

>>90868476
I wish for the power of complete atom level control.

I wish to be truly immortal and indestructible, don't you pull that 'Oh you're immortal but you age or you're hungry' or some shit, true blue immortal as I am now for all of time.

...Shit. I guess I wish you can go free, I'm not an asshole and frankly I can make the universe my bitch.

Wish to have kryptonian biology
Wish the genie well
Wish the genie free

>>90868476
>Eternal youth/health
>Immortality
>Photographic Memory

And now we wait.

>>90868476
I wish for ten million genies

>>90870672
> who shared 50 percent of his dna
That would include you, you dumbass.
Every human alive shares, at least, 90% of his DNA.

>>90870371
i'm with this g

>>90868476
I wish to be able to stop time and restart time at will, but still be able to move around and do things in the stopped time. Shouting "THE WORLD" is optional.

I wish to be able to alter probability, like that other anon.

And then i'll set the genie free, because at that point i'm basically able to do whatever the fuck i want

>>90868476
I wish for all mental illnesses and diseases to be gone forever, I wish for all humans to have super powers, and finally I wish for humans to have the ability to terraformer other planets

>>90883345
you do realize that genies are djinns that have to grant a certain number of wishes until they are forgive for the crime they have committed

>>90868476

The powers of superman.

To be the little girl.

Depower all magical beings apart from myself.

1. I want the ability to become proficient at any skill

2. I want the mental fortitude to handle this

3. I wish the genie was free :3

>>90868476
I wish
>I had limitless reality manipulation abilities purely under my own control to suit my own desires
>No one anywhere could stop me besides myself via my own powers only after I was completely sure I no longer wish to live
>The genie was free but was sent to an almost identical timeline and incapable of returning

>>90870371
Never wish for immortality. Wish for healing powers that you can turn on and off.

Eventually the sun is going to explode my dude.

>>90871662
No protection from harm, huh.

Ok then. Good luck with stealing.

File: god dammit lois.jpg (71KB, 500x494px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 500x494px

>>90868476
That all other wishes in this thread become Monkey's Paw wishes.

>>90883674
Sorry asshole, but the genie was already freed like twice now.

>>90868476
1. I wish to have the motivation and talent to achieve anything I desire in life with at most moderate effort.
2. I wish for the longevity to achieve all I desire, so that I might only die contented and at peace
3. I wish to never suffer in such a manner as I would consider the premature end to my own existence

I'm surprised and impressed by the number of people who mentioned that they'd use one of their wishes to set the genie free. It's nice to see anons on 4chan showing kindness like that.

I have trouble thinking of what to wish myself. I feel like wishing for any supernatural abilities could harm my life in the long run, and gaining everything that I want would mean I'd have no goals to strive for anymore.
I guess I'd ask for a couple billion dollars, so I could take care of my loved ones' financial needs and buy more stuff that interests me.

I wish for the ability to summon character sheets of anyone, and when I write on them the person changes to reflect that. That covers all the immortality, shape shifting, and godhood type stuff I could wish for.

Then I wish for humanity to get it together, dampen our greed, boost our empathy. Removal of mental illnesses and make us make the world better for everyone

Then, I dunno. Wish the genie free, I guess.

>>90868476
I wish for:
all my favourite franchises to be less obscure
For my family to become notable throught history
animation to be taken as a serious medium with it's own award show.

>>90868476

1 - I wish for my body to be eternally and indestructibly locked in what I, given an informed opinion, would consider an optimal state from the standpoint of health, youth and aesthetics until such a time as I consciously and deliberately desire for it to be otherwise.

(that way, in the event of the sun detonating or the heat death of the universe I don't have to spend the rest of eternity trapped within the inescapable cell of my own mind)

2 - I wish to be able to manifest in real life any power or group of powers exhibited by any fictional entity of my choosing at any time or times which I choose in perpetuity, with full knowledge and control thereof, and in a manner consistent with my intent in making this wish.

3 - I wish for the knowledge of how to make use of the results of these first two wishes to maximize my happiness and that of those around me at all times an under all circumstances, in a manner consistent with my intent in making this wish.

>>90877515

You're an idiot.

>>90880332

What a perfect hell you create for yourself once the sun explodes and you spend the remainder of eternity drifting through space, watching the stars go out, one by one, over the course of countless billions of years, until you are left alone in complete darkness and silence, left with your own memory of having made these wishes to keep you company forever.

That's why you give yourself an out like I did here: >>90884144

>>90877515

No you fool, you just append "in a manner consistent with my desires" to the end of every wish. Don't waste a wish, just be clear and precise in the way you make them!

>>90876110
Why stop with Mistborn?why not ask for all the powers in the Cosmere with unlimited batteries?

>>90877658
You could have a lot of fun with that. Chances someone you hate's bathtub is filled with spaghetti and meat sauce? 56%
Gotta leave some suspense to it.

>>90884198
They can hang out with all the other immortals who didn't think to give themselves an out

1 - I wish to never suffer any negative consequences for any of my decisions or actions ever again, including the decisions relating to making these wishes.

2 - I wish to be freed from all ethical constraints.

3 - I wish for the powers of Zebediah Killgrave and Superman.

Have fun existing in my world, plebs!

>>90868476
I wish for a better, not shit genie who doesn't follow these rules and grants all wishes unlimited times

File: 1485589474159.gif (3MB, 220x242px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 220x242px

>>90868980
>give him what he wants, then get rid of the reason he wants it
a true tranny destroyer.

>>90869964
if you wanna know so much about us then just wish for it you niggerfaggot

I wish that everyone in this thread trying to prove how smart they are by modifying wish constraints got cancer.

File: extra thicc aku.gif (2MB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 480x270px

>I wish to be a shapeshifter with perfect control over my form and mass
>I wish for immortality and agelessness so long as I can end my life without risk of damnation whenever I choose (gotta play it safe)
>I wish for the ability to heal myself and others of any affliction

It's not all the power in the world, but it's enough to have fun and do enough good to placate my conscience amid all the debauchery and hedonism. I'd finally have enough time to take in the world.

>>90868476
>i wish humanity was immune to all mental and physical illnesses
>i wish for humanity to discover the technology for cheap(as in we can make it with what we have on earth, not relatively cheap you genie fuck) instantaneous space travel
>i wish for humanity to evolve past its self destructive urges such as greed, tribalism, etc.
there, all i really want is to be good at art and i dont need genie magic for that, so lets work together to colonize space instead

>>90885666
>so lets work together to colonize space instead

You don't fool me, Satan.

>>90868965
Congrats, you wished for a monkey's paw.

>>90874085
Marriage, stupid!

>>90868476
i wish
1 no more sjw shiets in media
2 no more flash animation like jhony test
3 4chan becomes real

>>90885734
suck my red hot spicy demon dick you dont know shit

>>90868476
I wish Robin Williams hadn't come down with that disease.

I wish for anyone whose political ideology violates the liberty-maximalist interpretation of the U.S. Bill of Rights to be teleported to the eastern hemisphere and incapable of returning.

I wish you were free.

Oi, this is hard.
I wish...
That I could I could learn at an exponential rate compared to what I do now.
I wish I had a way to communicate with the old master's of crafts and professions without raising them from the dead.
I wish for something that will make the genies life better, but do no harm to any living being. (Giving the genie freedom on his terms,if he so chooses.)

>>90868476
Just wish to become an all powerful free genie.

So I can't wish for more wishes right?

I WISH FOR MORE GENIES!

>>90885797
>4chan becomes real
Please elaborate what you mean by that

>>90868476
Genie! I have my first wish! I wish Samurai Jack was never renewed for a final season.

File: X-Gene_from_Wolverine_and_the_X-Men_Vol_1_5-325072758.jpg (122KB, 365x531px) Image search: [Google]

122KB, 365x531px

I wish the X-gene was real.

I wish metahuman level technology (power suits, webslingers, pym particles) was real, semi affordable, and worked like they do in comics FUCK SCIENCE!

I wish animal human hybrids like tigra would be a real thing.

>>90887260

Samurai Jack was cancelled after a single season.

>Wish I could grant myself wishes
>give the other two to charity

I wish another sperm fertilized the egg I came from.

>>90870844
>I wish for you to create an exact, molecule-for-molecule duplicate of my brother from two hours before he died

>tfw your brother died of cancer and just dies again two hours later

>>90874023
This guy knows what's up.

What happens to the genie after he grants you all three wishes?

>>90868542
Done. Mabel of What's Happening!!, Wendy Testaburger of South Park, and Nathan Ford of TNT's Leverage, are all now top-notch characters.

>>90868476
I wish you wouldn't grant my wish.

>>90868476
I'd wish for immortality
I'd wish to have superman's powers.
I'd wish to have a perfect 10/10 blonde wife who would never age.

Find me the person in the world most similar to my dead best friend, teleport me to their general area, give us a reason to spend a bunch of time together.

>>90888556

The two of you are dumped into a cement mixer.

I wish I could get away with any crime. (to hell with your limitations if I can rape and murder as I please)

File: 1461762180494.jpg (249KB, 630x818px) Image search: [Google]

249KB, 630x818px

>>90869964
The bitch nigger would be you. It has nothing to do with insecurity, OP was dumb enough to allow wishing for more wishes.

>>90888620
>The two of you are dumped into a cement mixer.
At least I get to die soon.
That's fine too.
It was stupid of me to assume that it wasn't a djinn type genie just because it talked like Robin Williams.

>>90868476
1. Absolute control over my own body and mind.
2. Restart my life in new game+ mode (all my knowledge intact) with the ability to save anywhere and reload.
3. If Genie is a bro: set him free. If Genie is not a bro: wish Genie was a bro. Maybe the next guy will set him free.

I wish that all past and future users of the lamp (except me) are tortured in hell forever

>>90888699

>Previous user used his wish to wish anyone in the future that wishes him harm has that harm reflected upon themselves.

>>90883598
And you'd survive it. If you truly lived forever, theoretically you could trigger another Big Bang, and start your own universe.

>>90888815
>mfw you don't also wish for regenerative powers and immunity of all diseases
>mfw you get diabetes and you go blind and your feet fall off
>mfw you have to deal with this for all eternity, with no way to end your suffering

>>90885797
>4chan becomes real
it already is my friend

Make me a Daedric prince (like Molag or Dagon) with all their powers, knowledge and abilities.
I wouldn't give a fuck about two other wishes after that...

>Wish Nr.1
I want to be a meeseeks
>Wish Nr. 2
I can't die
>Wish Nr. 3
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>90888876
He said with perfect youth/health.

File: 1316769942858.jpg (94KB, 556x600px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 556x600px

>>90868476
I wish to be at peak physical health and fitness until I say this wish in reverse.

I wish to always be able to pull the exact amount of currency I want from any pocket.

I wish for Molecule Man's powers.

File: 1470914628306.gif (996KB, 500x300px) Image search: [Google]

996KB, 500x300px

I wish my family loved and respected me.

File: 1484778523661.png (129KB, 907x1120px) Image search: [Google]

129KB, 907x1120px

>>90889152
>I wish my family loved and respected me.
but we do anon

>>90868476
I wish Islam never happened.

I wish I had a billion dollars in my private checking account.

I wish for Star Trek Holodecks.

>>90868476
just HOW powerful a wish can the genie make come true?
Is he omnipotent?
Can he give me Lucifer Morningstar level powers?
I mean he grant Jafar the wish to be an "all powerful genie", meaning he can apparently grant omnipotence...

File: Bow&ArrowAV.png (1MB, 560x1000px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 560x1000px

>>90868476
1. a fair amount of these arrows

2. araki returns jojo to it's previous state before part 6 and succesfully retcons stone ocean

3. I wish you to be free from your slavery

>>90889222

>I wish for Star Trek Holodecks.

Six months later they're all destroyed after malfunctions have wiped out 2/3s of the population.