You get 3 wishes BOY! YOU KNOW THE RULES! AND THERE'S NO

World peace

>>90520289
DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER!

>>90520289
I wish to always be free no matter what
I wish to be a genie
I wish for this last wish to not come true

>Dipper is retroactively an only child.

>Wander Over Yonder gets three seasons and a satisfying finale.

>That cartoon I've been thinking about doing gets made and has a satisfying amount of episodes.

>I wish you wouldn't grant this wish

>>90520473
Ummm....false. I'm gonna go with false.

>>90520289
I'm really impressed because no one has shopped this image.
Has Internet achieved a level of maturity beyond this?

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>>90520289
1. I wish to have sex with you
2. I wish for you to want to have sex with me
3. I wish for you to turn into Shantae, completely in body, soul, mind, etc., only remembering wishes 1 and 2.

>>90520351
"more genies" sounds like a great way to get your ass turned into a genie.

>>90520525
What could be done with that image?

>>90520568
You could shoop a taco in his hand, and It'll look like everyone wants it.

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>>90520289

I wish Robin Williams was still alive.

>>90520289
1. I wish to undo the past twelve years of my life and relive them, with the brain/mind of the person I am now, all without cutting my life-span short.

2. After I get my first ever debit card, I want to win the biggest lottery in the country.

Before making Wish #3, I ask if setting the genie free will undo my previous wishes. If not, I'll wish him free. If so, I'll wish for my family's health.

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>>90520581
>a taco

The fuck are you on.

Now that I think of it you could make him pull a middle finger.

>>90520594
Can't bring people back, jackass.
it's the rules.

>>90520289
I wish for a magic wish granting ring that does whatever I want, it can grant whatever wish I want and undo do any wish I want at any given moment, this ring will always fit my finger and no one will steal this ring, and no one else can see it but me.

>>90520289
>I wish you would keep forgetting how many wishes I made so I can make more

>>90520289
I wish for the power to freely move through time

I wish for invulnerability

I wish for the power to freeze people when I touch them

>>90520628
Can you travel back in time and prevent him hanging himself?
Not a joke or trying to be funny, I just don't like the idea of one of the most funniest person ever killing himself because of desperation and depression.

>>90520657
Granted! Since you're pretty much always touching yourself in some way, you become a frozen statue for eternity.

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>>90520628

I know. Why do you think I'm sad?

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>Not fucking with the wishes

>>90520677
There's no rule against time travelling.
Although to save robin you'd probably need more than one wish, good luck.

>>90520289
>Wish 1
I wish for my body to be healed of all unnecessary defects: chipped teeth, near sightedness etc, but I don't want my wisdom teeth to grow back or anything else that would cause me disfigurment or pain.
>wish 2
I wish for immortality: the kind that includes healing and prevents you from dying and aging so I'll always remain the age of 25 in terms of my bodies health and this is in correlation to my first wish
>wish 3
I wish for the ability to jump to different universes and dimensions (like jumping into television shows, stories, etc) at will and I can also transport others and other objects as well.

>>90520657
>not wishing for all around psychicpowers


Shame on you

>>90520289
Im on to you, you blue bastard! I saw Wishmaster!

>>90520749
Travel back to Robin suicide moment and place.

Wish Robin become a genie

Wish Genie to be free.

Wish robin take me back to my time, in the new altered timeline I created.

Wish he get back to the moment we left after my third wish.

Wish him to be free.

Did I break a rule?

>>90520289
1. I wish to acquire CHIM
2. I dunno, I'd like a keylime pie
3. Fug it, wish you were free

I'm good, my nigga.

Time to stab some fuckers with my dick.

>>90521010
He would still commit suicide

>>90520289
I wish i can have a friend that doesnt fucking leave me

>>90521010
Who knows, maybe the 3 wish rule applies to all genies and not just the one you're wishing at the moment?
Can we get a genie lawyer or a magic attorney in here?

>>90520677
That truely was the sign that everything wonderous and fun was dead after the 2007 recession. Fuck bush, and fuck new age reublicans trying to support their backwards views to change the world for the worst. Same goes for fake left femenazis and entitled black terrorists.

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>>90520756
you pretty much solved it. i'm stealing these

>>90520552
This guy gets it. 99% of genies will intentionally try to fuck you over.

Wish for simple, basic shit that can't be misinterpreted or Monkey's-Pawed.

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I wish i could read, write, and speak all forms of japanese language fluently as well as retaining all of curent knoweledge of speaking, reading, and writing in english. This way i can get easy translator work.

Also i wish to travel back to 2005

And i wish i had a bank account with exactly $300,000 (this would look the least suspicious to random people & the IRS right?) dollars in it and that bank account would refill at the start of every new year

>1. Ability to Pause time, being able to control what is and isn't stopped. Ex: Basic physics will still apply to a bike

>2. Mass Produceable cure for Alzheimer (for family/potentially self and profit)

>3. Retain any knowledge/skills I've read or seen

>>90520351
if I'm not mistaken, in the original story the "3 wishes" thing wasn't a rule, but a personal decision of that particular genie. also IINM he spent like 2 thousand years in that lamp, slowly going mad and after the first 1ky he decided he would kill the one who frees him, only after another 1ky he would change his mind and grant 3 wishes to his liberator. so basically wishing for more lamps, containing mentally unstable omnipotent beings might not be the best idea...

I wish for dubs

>>90521550
Tough Break

I wish everyone responsible for what i believe in the world is shit are dead(this would include me, and about only half a billion left, i fucking hate this goddamn planet)

>>90520526
genie.exe only able to process queries in synchronous mode (one after another)
you'll get fucked by a male genie 2 times before your third one. and if the "3 wishes rule" is supervised by some cosmic law - the "Shantae" would only remember to have 2 wishes to fulfill, but unable to grant them

>>90521498
>bank account would refill at the start of every new year
>(this would look the least suspicious to random people & the IRS right?)

>>90520289
I wish to know my real father ;_;

>>90520479
The first wish indeed comes true, but Mabel is now Dipper's cousin instead.

Wander Over Yonder indeed gets three seasons, but only the finale is satisfying. The rest of the episodes consist entirely of the facets of the original finale that you disliked.

Your cartoon is made and three seasons are produced, however it is broadcast only on an obscure Azerbaijani television network to a total viewership of 149 people.

>>90520289
>Laurie, I thought this was what you wanted.jpg

>>90524308
cheeky

>>90521766

comes true, but for biblical definitions of "known"

>>90520289
I wish for three monkey paws.

>>90521498
>wish only to understand Japanese
>just Japanese, not everyfucking language known on earth, and probably every language in the universe.
I don't need to read anything else, you are just retarded.

>>90524308
kek

>>90520289

>Biden is president
>Robin Williams not dead
>Spectacular Spider-Man never cancelled

>>90521546
I wish genies loved me and could do me no harm

>>90520628
>Screw the ru-

>>90521766
Wish granted,
I'm your father, and I love you my son,
I'm proud of you.

>>90520616
depending on what genie you're dealing with, setting them free will end up with you dead. Use that last wish to confine them back to the lamp.

>>90520289

I wish to be able to teleport at will any distance and always have a safe departure and arrival.

I wish to win the next lottery jackpot I enter, and every jackpot I enter after that.

I wish to no longer need to sleep, as in I can sleep if I want to, but my body is no longer dependent on it.

>Know how to be successful
>Max luck
>free genie

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>>90520289
>I wish I could use a wish to cancel out the rules
>I wish to cancel the rules
>I wish for unlimited wishes I can grant by myself for myself at any time
There.
And it only took three wishes

>>90524488

Wishes granted.

>You now know how to be successful but are still unable to act on your knowledge.

>Your luck is maxed out, but only when you do something for others selflessly or with things you don't care about.

>The genie is now free and you have released an ancient magical god of chaos upon the world.

>>90520289
Wish one immunity wish
I wish to be completely satisfied and happy with all my wishes

Wish two
I wish for a no consequence death note meaning a death note I can use without being denied access to heaven
Wish 3 is in case I fuck up

>>90524515

>That kid who always shouted "dynamite" when playing rock paper scissors.

>That kid who always had "x-proof" armor during play time.

>That kid who totally has an Uncle who works at Nintendo.

Found 'em.

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>>90521330
>That truely was the sign that everything wonderous and fun was dead after the 2007 recession
That's s bit hyperbolic don't you think?
>Fuck bush, and fuck new age reublicans trying to support their backwards views to change the world for the worst. Same goes for fake left femenazis and entitled black terrorists.
I don't fully disagree but you need some chill, /bruh/

>>90524539

Wishes granted.

>You wish to be completely satisfied and happy with all your wishes, using your second wish.

>In a blissful stupor at being so overcome with happiness and pride in your first wish, you are too satisfied to make any further wishes.

"I wish that if I'm satisfied with my next two wishes, you will be granted your freedom"
"I wish for more genies"

alternatively, immortality, eternal youth if its not covered by immortality, and shapeshifting or teleportation so I don't get some bullshit like "eternally buried in sand or under the ocean"

>>90524542
I'd never do something like that outside of around here!
That's why I'm here now!
Such an awful accusation.

>>90524522
Wish one
I wish for ownership of a very nice apparent in New York
Wish two
I wish for ownership of lots of stocks in the most expensive and successful companies in the world
Wish three
I wish the genie becomes my loyal mortal dog, like an actual dog with the mind of a dog and lifespan of a dog

I wish to be completely aware and selectively immune to the effects of other peoples wishes

I wish for an indestructible rucksack that will provide whatever I want/need given a situation and that it always returns to my side

I wish to instinctively know all languages

>>90524522
>The genie is now free and you have released an ancient magical god of chaos upon the world.
But that contradicts the second wish's action then. I released the genie as a selfless act.

>>90524597

Wishes granted.

>You own a very nice Apartment in Buffalo, New York

>You now own stocks in Autozone, Amazon, and Markel Corp. None of these are growth stocks and thus yield no dividends.

>bark bork bark woof

I would simply wish to become a nearly allpowerful immprtal supernatural being, like daedric prince or something like that.
I wouldnt even give a fuck about other wishes after that.

>>90524616

Personal luck changes nothing about the genie.

>>90520289

I wish I had a friend

>>90520289
>Animated Doctor Who series.
>Stephen Universe never existed.
>Crowchild's penis falls off.

>>90524522
Why would any of these weird caveats exist?

>>90524640
>None of these are growth stocks and thus yield no dividends.
Can I sell them?

>>90524609

Wishes granted.

>Done. No other wishes from any other unique wishers can effect you unless you want them to.

>You are given an indestructible rucksack that gives you any item you want or need in any given situation, but only items that could fit into a rucksack. The rucksack returns to you at 180 mph.

>You know all languages, but can still only speak English.

>>90524522
>>90521808
>>90524723
Genie doesn't do the "Ironic Genie" trope though(and honestly that is one of those things that's almost never enjoyable in the first place)

>>90524720

>bork bark woof pant pant pant

>>90524723
>implying I wanted to utter their gutter languages

I'd be quite happy yelling at people in the Queens English while knowing everything they say

>>90520289

>My dog lives as long as I do and is healthy and spry the entire time
>I wake up tomorrow as a world-renowned architect with all the necessary skills and education to match
>Peaceful contact with extraterrestrials

>>90524749
Fuck it I have a nice apartment and stocks even if I don't know what to do with them
I didn't die or went mad and if anything else sucks I can beat the dog in revenge

>>90524762

Wishes granted.

>Your dog is a good boy, yes he is.

>You do wake up as a world renown architect and all the skills and education to match, but you're now 65 years old.

>Plantlife is discovered on Mars.

>>90524795
I wish for all future wishes that are granted in the world to benefit me in some way

I wish for people to like me and think highly of me and feel empathy for me

I wish for very good luck

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>>90524795

I ain't mad.

I WISH THE RAIN WAS MY FRIEND

>>90520289
I wish I have my left leg back
I wish my left leg to be as strong as my right
I wish that the next slot machine I play, I willl hit the jackpot.

>>90520677
Still won't stop the Lou Gehrig's disease.

>>90524944

Mind if I ask what happened to your leg, anon?

>>90525013
I born with a disease (it will at one point turn into Cancer and its gg) and it fuck with my leg, doctors did everthing the can for 9 years to save it but it nothing worked, so they told my Father they can chop it off or put me in a wheelchair forever.
..Wheelchair sucks, so yeah.

>>90525035

Sucks man, I'm sorry. No prosthetic?

>>90520289
I wish for all Muslims living outside the middle East to die immediately
I wish for anyone that participated in any protest since trump became president as an active participant mind you not the press, not anyone just there to report on what happened or take pictures to drop dead immediately
That is all

>>90525067

Mr. President, go to bed. You have impeachment hearings to prepare for.

>>90520289
I wish everything that was good only lasted long enough for you to want more

I wish everything that was bad lasted for 50 times longer then it should

and lastly I wish that whenever the fans commented on something the creators would ruin that commented thing so as to not be seen as pandering

>>90520289
I wish I could shapeshift
I wish I was rich
I wish for free Whataburger for life

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>>90525051
Yes to prosthetic.
( I had two amputation on the same, the picture is taken after my first)

>>90524653
Will it affect me?

>>90520289
1. A Superman film directed by Steven Spielberg and written by Grant Morrison

I'll think of the other two later.

>>90525147
I had a second amputation because the doctors couldn't risk my bone growing out of my skin when I was 9 years old.

>>90520289
reality manipulation powers

I wish I was dead

>>90524437
Can't make folks love you.

>>90525299
well..can you just pay for the hooker.

>>90520289
>I wish you were free.

Protip: Always free the genie first. If he fucks off after, you didn't lose anything. If he appreciates the gesture, he still might grant you some wishes, possibly more than three, and without the monkey's paw bullshit.

>>90525184

Pretty fucking metal, man.

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>>90520621
Y'know. I really considered editing that, but fuck it. everybody loves tacos anon, except for you it seems
>>90520581
just for you, my guy

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>>90520289
1) I wish that you would grant my wishes based on my intention upon making the wish, and not based on a literal or ironic interpretation of my words.
2) I wish I could reverse time while retaining my memories of the lost events, reverting the timeline to the point just before i made my first wish, allowing me to re-choose my three wishes.
3) I wish a could travel back and forth between the real world and the fictional universes portrayed in media at will.

1) I wish for a tray of self replenishing bronwies that never go bad/rotten/stale etc, Once approximately 0.8 oz have been eaten it with replenish itself back to a full tray of brownies

2)Wish for ability to command anyone to do anything be it through verbal, written, or some other form of communication. Commands will only be followed if phrased first by "I command you." Think of all the free art commissions (and thats just tip of it.)

3) I wish for the genie's freedom and to completely unbound from their lamp.

>>90525349
>Always free the genie first. If he fucks off after, you didn't lose anything.
Except two entire goddamn wishes

Omnipotence

Omnipresence

Immortality

>>90526153
You're better off gambling on some no-bullshit freebies than getting greedy and locking yourself in some torture loop forever.

>>90526197
That's a dangerous trio to meddle with when granted by a genie. You'd also need to figure out which order ask for them in.

Asking for omniscience before omnipotence will probably drive you insane. Asking for omnipotence before the omniscience to control it will probably make you destroy yourself.

Asking for immortality before either probably won't work because you'd need omniscience to figure out how to word that request without getting turned into a lobster or a water bear.

I wish for the ability to perform amazing acts of magic. Hurl fireballs and cast illusions. Standard stuff

I wish that no future wishes granted by future owners could do any harm to any one on this planet at any given moment past present or future.
I sell the fucking lamp.

I wish everyone was shitting from their mouth all the time.

I wish everyone was obese

I wish the genie was forced to eat all the shit.

i wish i were immortal
i wish every day i lived was as if i were living in the very best parts of heaven
but most of all, i wish for a motherfucking flying robot dinosaur that shoots lazerbeams when it roars

>>90520289
I wish for you to suck on my dick until I cum in your mouth.

I wish for omnipotence.

Whatever for the rest.

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>>90526396

>>90526518
Wishes granted.

You are now immortal. Your quality of life may suffer as your body and internal organs wear out, but you definitely won't die.

The very best part of heaven is being in the light and love of God, so He moves in with you. He's kind of a unreasonable jerk. Good luck with that.

A flying robot laser-beam dinosaur is yours, but it runs on seven D batteries, the most inconvenient amount ever.

Why does everyone look for a loophole in this mess? Just figure out your wishes and be glad for what you got.

>>90527073
>Your quality of life may suffer
that's why i wished as if i were living in the besot part of heaven, noone ages, dies, or has body failure in heaven
>He's kind of a unreasonable jerk
says you
>it runs on seven D batteries
but i have something even better, the power of love

>>90520289
I wish I had one billion legally acquired dollars

I wish that I had a pizza in a pizza box

I wish for POLNAREFF LAND

>>90527102
This. As another anon said, Genie wasn't a vindictive trickster. He would fulfill your wishes they you wanted them to.

My wishes:

> I win the grand prize of whatever lottery i buy next
> wish for Taskmaster's power without the drawbacks
> free Genie i guess

Done.

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>>90524483
technically falling doesn't cause significant harm depending on how far, that goes for arrival and departure. Landing could be the way a genie could screw you over on that

>>90520289
I wish for the knowledge and wisdom to use all resources at my disposal, up to and including two Genie wishes, to change the world so that everyone can enjoy a first world quality of life free of worry over physiological needs or harm without environmental damage.

>>90527049
Yeah like that!

Except more brown, and more solid, actually a lot more solid.

>>90524550
is that JoeGoes?

I wish to be a big guy

>>90527193
source on gif?

If I'm dealing with the Alladin genie, my wishes won't need to be too percise. He's not a shifty kike.

>>90520756
Like an immortal planeswalker?

>>90520289
Power to grant your own wishes. Anyone who says otherwise is objectively retarded.

1. I wish to have an androgynous and feminine and attractive appearance
2. I wish for an amazing mastery of all known programming languages allowing me to complete large projects in an hour tops
3. save wish 3 incase i fucked up the first 2

>>90527249
Idk. Found it on here, ha...

>>90527307
That's what Jafar wished for, remember how that ended up for him?

>>90527347
You would be attractive but the genie will make everyone else probably hate everything about you, including looks

>>90527367
Then wish for no wacky genie-bullshit before you wish for infinite wishes.

>>90527264
Yeah.
These guys are just full of shite with their "Aha!" trap wishes. When Aladdin asked to be a prince, the Genie could've just drawn a squaremeter on the ground and declared him the prince of that. Instead he put on a show of Aladdin arriving to Agrabah with an elephant and a fuckton of treasures, rare animals and servants that he just conjured up out of fucking nowhere.

>>90527413
Alright, cool, but granting your own wishes requires the same process, effort, and work it would take a normal person to do something.

No wacky genie bullshit, just a heavy dose of the real world.

>>90527469
I mean they did have a deal that Al would use his last wish to set Genie free. I doubt he'd want to fuck over Al and risk losing his freedom. And by the time Al was going into panic mode about being exposed, he'd already used the two wishes, so there was no way he could add any sort of ironic twist.

>>90527392
That's not even a technically or play on my words, that's an unrelated fuck you.

>>90520289
I wish...

I could play any instrument

I was fluent in any language

I was so rich that all my future generations would never want for money either

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>>90520289
>I wish for the entire world to be unified under one leader chosen every 4 years through democratic votes who instigates one unified language
>I wish for all of earth's history to be forgotten, and all evidence removed. Only our knowledge of science and technology remains
>I wish for the concept of religion or higher power to be discarded

Best case scenario: Earth finally moves on and does more important shit than just bicker about the past, religion, feminism, cultural diversity, etc

Worst case scenario: Tyrant ruler, civil war, giant divide, lack of education results in cult uprisings, right back to the beginning of all this shit

Who knows? Honestly I just want to see what would happen. Like Noah's ark of politics

>>90527550
sound good, I'll have what hes having

>>90520289
I wish I was a genie that couldn't be trapped against my will

I wish that the universe ran on a karma-based system. Good things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people, and so on. A businessman who dooms the economy and ruins millions of lives doesn't just have a peaceful retirement and die in his sleep at the age of 93.

I wish that the average intellect of the world was increased. Not just in scientific intelligence, but common sense as well. At the very least, the ordinary person should be able to see through lies and distractions that more powerful social classes thrive on.

Finally, I wish that Cartoon Network would stop airing Teen Titans Go all the fucking time. Twice per day and that's it - air some other older series in its time slots instead.

>>90527577
I admire your hatred for politics, but that series of wishes has a high chance of becoming the second type.

>>90527636
I know, I just wanna see how.

>>90527577
I think that removing earth's history could lead to problems, because if you get a bunch of people together with no knowledge of anyone or anything else in the room (from a cultural or societal perspective) then they're most likely going to gravitate towards people that look like them, which will just continue tribalism and racial conflicts.

>>90527617
Granted, you're now a masochistic genie that loves being a slave.

>>90527643
>>90527636
More importantly, what would you do to phrase the wishes differently to have a higher chance of the first result?

>>90527645
Yeah, that's why I mentioned civil war and giant divide. Part of the reason, that is.

>>90527651
Then I'm happy either way, and nothing says I can't turn the lamp interior into my own personal playpen.

>>90520289
I wish that my wishes can't be twisted
I wish to have the ability to grant myself infinite wishes
And then I ask what the genie want and if it isn't something dickish/evil I use the third wish for him.

>>90520289
I'd wish to send my consciousness back to my childhood and redo life with all of my present knowledge as my first wish.
My second wish would be to have my tablet along with a supply of replacements in case it gets destroyed or something.
My third wish would be to be capable of resetting time in case of accident or sudden death from unnatural causes.

>>90527617
Why not wish to have the power to grant your own wishes?

>>90520289
Shape changing powers ala Mystique.
Immortality to the day I truly wish in my heart of hearts that I want to die because I'm happy with the life I've led.
Jafar's best sorcerer ever deal or something similar which allows me to shape reality in a way I want, plus freedom for the genie if he wishes.

>>90520289
What happens if I don't wish for anything and keep the genie stuck in the lamp?

>>90524686
No#1 already exists.

>>90528105
Okay, how about CHA being burned into the earth facing side of the moon in gigantic letters?

>>90520289

This is so easy. It's Genie, so he's not gonna fuck with me for being unspecific or because "careful what you wish for".

1: I wish to be immortal

2: I wish to be able to travel to any point in time and space whenever I want

3: Remove lamp. I only need 2 wishes. Now I pretty much have an unlimited amount of lesser wishes because genie will love me forever.

1. CEO of a new Cartoon Channel
2. MAGA
3. You're free

>>90520289
>every living male on earth who has a penis size below 6 inches now has an 8 inch penis

>Perfect Health for all living beings, except viruses.

>Infinite 100 dollar bills every time I reach into my pocket.

>>90521010

He killed himself because he couldn't deal with the pain and I'm sure the Parkinson's diagnosis itself. From experience I can tell you that finding out you have a painful illness/condition that will only get worse till you die is a real fucking damper on your overall view of life and if it's worth living. So trying to stop him from killing himself, I'd say getting rid of the Parkinson's would be your best bet.

>>90529862

>Bacterial/fungal infections are now incurable
>Universe clogged with infinite 100 dollar bills

Dear god

>>90520351
Nothing says the extra genies have to be the kind that give you wishes.

>>90521498

>Refilling bank account
It's called a trust fund you goob

>>90521475

Even simple wishes aren't safe from Monkey's Paw. The first thing the old couple wishes in the original story was 200£, nothing more. That wish got their son disemboweled in a factory accident anyway.

>>90524515

>I wish I could use a wish to cancel out the rules.

That doesn't really cancel it out does it? The Genie says "Your wish is granted", you use a second wish and nothing happens, because the genie only granted you the capability to wish you could use the wish to cancel it out, not actually grant you the ability to have the rules go away.

>>90526288
>turned into a lobster

Are... are lobsters immortal?

>>90530709
Yes.
Same with some species of jellyfish and flatworms, and a few microorganisms.

>>90530164
>>Bacterial/fungal infections are now incurable
Aren't we already there? Super bugs are becoming hella common.

>>90527342
You're already on /co/, isn't that close enough?

>>90526288

>Asking for immortality before either probably won't work because you'd need omniscience to figure out how to word that request without getting turned into a lobster or a water bear.

Doesn't even have to be that convoluted, you get "immortality" but your body doesn't stop aging and your body doesn't get any more indestructible. Towards the end you turn into a sentient pile of dust, before years and years of seeing yourself slowly rot away.

>>90531082
You'd still be capable of making your other wishes at that point, though. You could presumably correct catch of the immortality wish once you get either omniscience (discover a way to replace your body) or omnipotence (just negate the drawback). By transfiguring you into a biologically immortal animal incapable of speech, you get cheated out of your next two wishes and spend however many hundred years until some predator nabs you.

I wish simpsons was good again.

I wish life would improve for those close to me.

I wish aiden didn't die.

>>90530832

Super bugs aren't incurable.

>>90531208
third wish breaks the rules

no bringing back the death

>>90531169

Sure, as a first wish its the least harmful of the three, because its repercussions will only come back to bite you in the ass hundreds of years later. Genie can't really cheat either and turn you into some cosmic blob of ooze or bacteria, because nothing is immortal in this universe. Your immortality has to be magical by nature.

Although then of course the problem arises that if theres magical creatures other than genies in the world, then he might turn you into something like a golem, or a vampire who are "immortal".

Omnipotence is a dangerous wish because you would be too stupid to comprehend all the power you might have, you might turn Earth into dust with a flip of your fingers on accident, without ever really figuring out how to put it back. And if you didn't wish for immortality beforehand, you might suffocate to death in space before you manage to realize how to make yourself not-suffocate.

Omniscience is the least harmful because you won't go insane if you comprehend absolutely everything about the universe itself. The only problem lies that your ego pretty much dies at that point because how radically all that knowledge changes you. You just basically become a Buddha who melts into the universe and thats it and you would do this by your own decision too.

>>90531252

I didn't say bring back the dead, he got cremated anyway so it would probably backfire somehow.

Also I said didn't die, which is just time travel.

>>90524522
You're terrible at monkey pawing. You don't add extra shit to the wishes, the wishes themselves have a bad side automatically.

>>90527307

And the genie grants it by manipulating your IQ so that you will only ever wish for things you are capable of granting with hard labor by yourself with your working hands.

>>90520289
Ability to grant my own wishes
Artifact that becomes a part of me that can grant infinite wishes

I keep going until I get unlimited wishes.

>>90531332

First one is very Monkey Paw. Original Monkey Paw would cripple you in a horrible accident so you could meet a wise man in the hospital who tells you the secret to success. Yet you can't act upon it because of your broken body.

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Is there a surcharge on verbose wishes? I'm assuming there isn't.

1. I wish to have the appearance, physique, and wardrobe of Shantae extrapolated from a mean average of (a handpicked cache of some 50ish pieces of fanart and porn, excepting where state of pornographic undress depresses variety of available outfts), maintained at prime age with minimal physical exertion. We'll hold off on the genie powers since they're either consumable items or will backfire when dancing and I don't need them to fug.

2. I wish for $5000 a week for the remainder of my life, deposited into my checking account and taxed as W-2G income with appropriate local lottery commission documentation.

3. I wish for your freedom from the lamp pursuant to the culmination of a buddy cop adventure to take down Kyubey for tarnishing the Wish brand.

>>90531409

>Artifact that becomes a part of me that can grant infinite wishes

>The genie's lamp teleports inside your ribcage, killing you in horrifying few minutes of agonizing vomiting of blood.

>Your corpse will be the new house for the Lamp.

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>>90531477

>>90531505

Never ever wish something to be "part of you" with a genie, or you get a case of body horror instantly.

>>90520289
I wish to have the powers but not the obligations of a genie.

>>90520289
immortality
all the powers and abilities of Superman
2 billion dollars

>>90531440
wait so you want to BE Shantae, or fuck her?

I wish to be a freed genie.

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>>90531640
>you will never be a cute girl and have anons have their way with you

>>90520289
>I wish that I would win the jackpot of any lottery I enter from now on.
>I wish Bernie Sanders won the election instead of Trump
>I wish to be in great health and physical fitness for the rest of my natural life.
I then proceed to use my supernatural luck to win a multimillion jackpot lottery and use the money to live comfortably. I'll also make sure my friends and family do the same. I'll start my own game development company with my friend like we always talked about. I give large sums of money to charity and win more lotteries if nessasary. I hope that I'm right about Sanders and that this new timeline works out well. I happily pay the taxes he imposes on the rich. I try to live a happy and fulfilling life.

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>>90531640
The buddy cop adventure wish doesn't work without at least 1.5 genies.

>>90520289
Omnipotence is always my first wish. All other wishes are then redundant. But I may as well wish for omniscience in case I don't know how to use my powers.

Third wish is to wish that no one can unwish my wishes.

>>90531902

>I wish that I would win the jackpot of any lottery I enter from now on.
>I wish Bernie Sanders won the election instead of Trump
>I wish to be in great health and physical fitness for the rest of my natural life.

That last part is going to make sure that you die within 15 minutes. Easiest way to grant wish 1 and 3.

>>90520289
I'm going the Jafar route for the first wish.

>My first wish is to be an all powerful sorcerer with full knowledge of my powers
>My second wish is a reduction in crime and violence across the planet
>My third wish is to set you free since you've been really nice

>>90532100
Congratulations, you are now God. Will you be a merciful Lord and keep your distance from Earth to preserve the free will of humans, or will you be a wrathful God and go full Old Testament?

>>90526288
>wish for immortality
>get turned into an immortal jellyfish
wish magic is some serious shit

>>90532172
Neither! I shall wander around the Earth amusing myself with trifles for eternity and fix a few problems here and there, like disease and fossil fuels. Not everyone will be happy, but everyone will have the opportunity to choose happiness.

>>90531949
a-are you a girl?

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>>90532158

>My third wish is to set you free since you've been really nice

I wish everyone who posted in this thread gets AIDS

>>90532467
r u d e

>>90520289
I want to experience living in a world without people for an entire week. After the week is over, everything returns to how it was before the week without people began, including time. While my body is returned to its prior state, I still retain my memory of that period.

I wish there was a sudden breakthrough in medical technology, allowing doctors to successfully treat all forms of neurological disorders.

I'll hold onto my 3rd wish just in case.

>>90531902
>Bernie Sanders
You're a fool

>>90532431
I'm thinking Disney Genie. Otherwise world peace.

>>90524739
>Aladdin wished to be a prince
>a few years later finds out that his dad is the king of the underworld
He totally did the monkey's paw thing. He was just subtle about it.

I wish all religious deities were real.
I wish I was immune to their shenanigans and had the ability to cancel that wish.
I wish you to suffer an eternity of torture trapped within a black hole, never to be found by anyone ever again.

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>I wish that you (genie) have to completely follow my orders without question without any monkey paws magic bullshit.

>I wish you were 10/10 female from my fantasies

> I wish for the ability to summon you at anytime or anywhere I want no matter if you have a master or not

>>90532670
Either I am, or you are. 50/50 are odds I'm willing to take. That and Trump has already made several moves I disapprove of. Besides, it's only 4 years.

>>90531902
I supported bernie sanders and wish he was our president but wasting a WISH on a fucking political agenda is beyond retarded anon.

>>90520289
I wish I was dead.

That's it. You can give my other two wishes to someone else.

I wish my waifu was real and that she loved me.

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>>90532404
That's for the genie to affirm.

>>90533119
*loves me.

>>90530709

Well, biologically immortal. They can be killed but left alone they can live indefinitely.

>>90520289
1. I wish nuPPG retained the cast and crew from the original run but also added on valuable new talent that respected the source material.

2. I wish Steven Universe focused less on preachiness and its 'slice of life' aspect in favor of an overarching plot and better action sequences.

3. I wish Cartoon Network would regain a respect for artistic integrity and refrain from relying too much on focus groups and statistics.

>>90531477
An addendum to all wishes should be "and that it gets granted in the way that I intended and wanted it to be granted."

>>90520289
I wish I could shove every /co/ poster deep in my ass.

>>90520289
I take out a piece of paper and write the following down on it.

-To have a vault that exists in a pocket space that only I can access, and that I can access at any time when I choose.
-The door to the vault will appear anywhere I want it to. Should I be incapable of entering the door of my own free will, say I was tied up or injured, the door will appear under me and drop me safely into the vault.
-Nothing can enter or leave said vault unless I either intentionally bring it in or out or explicitly invite someone in or out of my own free will.
-The vault is arbitrarily big, depending on how much stuff I bring it
-Said vault contains a living space with all the amenities I would need to live there indefinitely, including a refrigerator with fresh food that constantly restocks with everything I like
-While within the vault I can open the door to anywhere I want in the world, said door will open exactly where I wanted it.
-The door won't open if doing so is harmful or dangerous to me. What is or is not dangerous is determined by my own definitions of harmful or dangerous.
-Within the vault, I have multiple credit cards all linked to untraceable bank accounts. All cards have unlimited funds, and I will never owe anyone money for any of them. Should a card be stolen or destroyed, a replacement will appear within the vault.
-Credits cards stolen from me against my will, whether I know it was stolen or not, will begin melting through any surface it touches until it makes contact with the ground. Once on the ground, it will simply disappear.
-All objects on this list will happen exactly as written and as I intended.

I will then roll up the paper, tell genie I wish for everything on this paper to happen now. I then enter the vault, place the lamp inside. I'll be back when I figure out what my other two wishes are.

>>90533617
You think you are so smart, yet you are so stupid. The vault is allowed to be inherently dangerous to you.

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>>90533350
And what will you do once we're all in your ass, pal? What's your end game?!

>>90533663
The vault is only as dangerous to me as a normal house. The wish happens exactly as I worded it AND exactly as I intended it, as worded by the wish itself.

The only way it ends badly is the genie goes to "well you didn't put that you didn't want to be thrown into the sun as part of your wish" levels of dick genie, in which case discussing wishes is pointless.

>>90533350
I wish this poster no longer had an ass and could not wish for a new one nor surgically attach one.

Sorry but death is preferable to the stench of mountain dew-fermented flatulence

>>90520351
Can't I just wish for a genie that is obedient with unlimited wishes that won't backfire? It also has to be a female(male) genie.

>>90533905
Then I wish I could shove every /co/ poster in Rosie O'Donnell's ass.

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>>90520429

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>>90524418
I wish for three magic muffins

>I wish to be as good as all of my favorite manga, comic book, and video game concept artists.
>I wish to be tall and handsome.
>I wish I had psychic powers in the form of a stand.

>>90533663
>The vault is allowed to be inherently dangerous to you.

>one of the objects on the list is "Will happen as intended"

Unless anon is suicidal, no it's not.

>>90525917
I'm almost disappointed you didn't waste all three wishes on over though stipulations to avoid getting screwed by the wishes

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>>90520289
I wish I were a Kryptonian.Saiyan.hybrid.
I wish my body was Infinity Stones.
I wish I was George Clooney.

>>90524550
The world needs to be purged of the poltical triggerd prudish scum that raped it beyone salvation

kek everyone here with some superficial ass bullshit wishes that will make them feel empty inside

>I wish for a female SO that would love me for who I am.

I'd keep the two other wishes handy.

>>90532131
>>I wish that I would win the jackpot of any lottery I enter from now on.
>>I wish Bernie Sanders won the election instead of Trump
These two wishes make no sense together, why would you want to win the lottery if you're going to have to pay the whole jackpot to the state?

>>90532944
It's not a 50/50 chance, when Bernie's policies are objectively retarded. Not to say Trump is a good president, but your logic there relies on the belief that political policy is a game of chance and not something where there are clear definable effects to the policies put in place. Just because you don't know what would happen doesn't mean there's an equal chance of all results.

>>90525067
Triggered.

>>90520289
Become a free genie with the powers of an all powerful genie.

See, it wasn't that hard.