Ranking the five main boys, who is canonically the smartest

Kenny
Kyle
Stan
Cartman
Butters

Now rank them by who you thing has the tightest asshole.

Smartest is Probably Kyle.

>>89632017
It's gotta be Butters.

>>89632166
You think he's still tight after that?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yEzMukJWWo

>>89632166
Nah, I'm sure he's been taken advantage of. It may be tight but it's not virgin tight.

>>89632235
With the amount of anxiety he must suffer he probably unwittingly does kegals.

Cartman's intelligence is really inconsistent. He can be a master manipulater in one episode while a stupid spoiled child in the next.

>>89632276
No, that would be Tweak.

>>89632166
https://youtu.be/7WwqXHo4v8k
look how easily that thing slide in, man. that thing's more open than your mother's legs

>>89632284
i think he's smart, but only when he really applies himself. if he doesn't give a shit about something, he won't approach it with his intelligence.

I would argue Kenny is smartest in terms of being the most aware of worldly/social issues, such as sex.

Stan and Kyle kinda cancel each other out, because they've both been known to fall for certain things depending on the plot. Stan'll be the one who gets addicted to freemium gaming but Kyle will believe John Edwards is legit.

Butters is definitely the most naive, but I think Cartman is probably the dumbest in terms of general booksmarts and things like thinking girls have balls.

>>89632284
He's been conditioned by his mother to be able to manipulate and have a severe lack of morality as far as how far he's willing to go. But as far as actual intelligence, he has very little, and his arrogance actively prevents a lot of it.

>>89632291
The tightest anus would have to be Tweak's.

>>89632291
>>89632468
Caffeine loosens your sphincter, it's why most poop after thier morning cup

>>89632548
But being under constant stress tightens it right back up.

>>89632548
>Caffeine loosens your sphincter
Citation needed.

>>89631387
Stan is canonically an A+ student (cloning episode from season 1).
It's pretty inconsistent overall, Cartman especially ranges from full retard to evil genius.

>>89632066
them Jews don't come stupid.