ITT: You wake up one day and find yourself in the town of Bluffington,

Go to the mall and buy new clothes.

I ask Roger for some roofies and rape the hell out of Patty

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>>89139905

Fuck my sister, go to school, fuck that thicc green chick, kick Mr. Bone in the nuts, kiss Roger, steal a truck and drive off a cliff because I'm Doug "Motherfucking" Funnie!

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>>89139905
Have Al ask Ziggy what it is I need to do during this leap.

>>89139950
This

New outfit would be a must as first thing.

>>89140163
What are the rules?

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>>89139905
I've been looking for an animated episode of Nick Arcade with the original Nicktoons cast from the Nickelodeon cable launch. it was 1979, or close to it. Doug hadn't given birth to his younger sister Judy yet, but as we all know, he would within days of the episode. the games were green screen as was the style at the time. one was Sonic, that much I remember. there might have been a Resident Evil too, and of course Call of Duty.

Doug, as most celebrity guests were, was awful at the games. he constantly died and then would look at the camera and give a "Dear Journal" speech. somehow. he came in second to Ginger Foutley, which I was surprised to see considering she had killed herself a few years ago. beating a pregnant Doug was still an accomplishment, as Judy was also given a controller and their scores counted together.

since he lost, he was deleted from the show. as in, completely deleted. it was like when a film strip catches on fire. I was scared that he would be deleted from his own show as well, but luckily there were different animators and he did not disappear from Doug like he did Nick Arcade. it was quite haunting though, and I can still hear his screams when I close my eyes.

the animated Nick Arcades were hard to come by especially since most betamax players from that time were damaged in the nuclear war with the Soviet Union. still, I distinctly remember this episode and hope to see it again. I think Doug could have gotten more points in Sonic if he had used the spin dash.

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>>89142427
nice copy pasta kid, this your first year here kid?

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>>89140134
This, but I would fuck Patti not the fat green chick (Why not both) . I would also take Roger with me over the cliff, as I pound away at his at his boybully.

>>89139905
Get high with Skeeter and Porkchop.

Yes, Porkchop.

>>89142427

I always wondered what the story behind that post was. There's just enough of an internal logic there to make it seem not completely random.

invest in cuckold stocks

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>>89139905
bury the hatchet with Roger and go somke some weed with my new snarky bro for life.

>>89139905
I would kill myself because I would be in one of the dullest franchises in the history of cartoon franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy journal writer and his pals from Bluffington School as they deal with menial problems has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make imagination unimaginative, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Jinkins vetoed the idea of John K. directing the series; he made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for his books. The Doug series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-Rugrats series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the characters were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the series was terrible. As I watched, I noticed that every time a Mr. Dink bought a new gadget, the episode's writer wrote instead that the gadget was "very expensive."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Jinkins's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Doug by the same Hayao Miyazaki. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are watching Doug at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to watch slice of life anime." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you watch "Doug" you are, in fact, trained to watch slice of life anime.

>>89139905
Rape matty mayo and kill myself

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>>89150171
i got the rest of em, anon

>>89139905
Go to Patti's house naked.

>>89139950
>>89140430

Agreed. Or conversely;
-kick Roger's ass
-take his sweet leather biker jacket