SUPERHERO THREAD TWO-OFFENDORS EDITION It's happened /c

>>88067032
"The list" so far: http://pastebin.com/qSbCNRJu

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The "Map" so far

Now to put together a timeline of what happened.

Greetings, all. The Metal Master has returned with bargains!

Would you like to fortify your lairs? Or would you instead fancy mystical armors or weapons? Underwear?

Street Signs. Again.

Also:

>Revolutianon
>Captain Clock
>Arsenal
>Mr. Never Die
>Sir Galkros

Are on my to draw list.

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>>88067234
Do you have any Island Lairs? I've always been partial to the Ocean.

Also: Would you consider drawing me?

Well I'm going to sleep as it's past midnight here. Hope the thread is still here when I get back!

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I am the Mecha Master. Fighting robots, cleaning robots, fucking robots. I make all of them. From the most grounded to the most over the top.

Hi

>VOLUME #1
The year is 20XX, and for some reason all the nerds and wierdos browsing a particular board on /co/ gained superpowers! First was Santa Claus, with the powers and appearance of any holiday being to ever exist. Then was Speed-Runner, the embodiment of speed, who declared himself leader and fought for all that is good and just. Then was the mild-mannered Butler, who didn’t do too much. Then came the morally ambiguous individual with the ability to control the idea of metal, The Metal Master, who set out to create a poster of all of the heroes. Then came Excalibur, the living weapon! With their powers near each other, they don' really do much!

>VOLUME #2
However, as supervillain The End intended to crash the Earth with no survivors, they heroes joined together to watch Santa kill him using his powers of not dying. With that treat dealt with, several new “heroes” joined the group to replace The Metal Master and Santa, who went missing. These new heroes were:
The deranged mercenary, Arsenal!
The Demon-soul bargainer, Revolutianon!
The least competent but one of the strongest, Captain Clock!
Necronado, who lives in the Soulstorm Necrosphere!
And Lameclops, with crippling depression!
These new “heroes”, under the “guidance” of SpeedRunner, formed a new group: THE OFFENDORS

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http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Meta_Space-Time_Absorption

... well fuck. I've got no idea what to do.

Whelp, I'm CreteWorks. I'm trying to keep more of a low profile while making a mint on construction jobs. Also doing that Habitat for Humanity thing with concrete. (only ready pic I could find is a megaman villain or Syndablock which I'm not going for) Not sure if I'm a villain or hero. Probably something in-between.

>>88067032
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Digestive_Shapeshifting

I....don't want this.
Call me the Voreman

VOLUME #3
Civil war has broken out! A disagreement over who created a supervillain between Captain Clock and Arsenal has resulted in the two of them entering a death conflict, stretching across time! Captain Clock is joined by Revolutianon and Necronado, while Arsenal is possibly given the support of SpeedRunner. After two time-based attacks from Captain Clock and a couple of insults, Arsenal and Speedrunner left the group. An uneasy peace returns as nobody uses their powers for good.

VOLUME #4
A new threat emerges! A group of 5-6 supervillains, or possibly heroes, called The Dampeners, appear to oppose the Offendors! They are quickly defeated by new member Kaboom, with unlimited-power punches! The Shogun, Walrusman/Mr. Fibb, and Cavity Calamity all die to his fury. Concerned with his power, this sub-plot of his possible evil-ness is never explored.

Paging Mr. Pro-Crastinator...

Volume #5
The Meta Master returns! However, the fight against the Dampeners is slowing, and no more battle really take place. New heroes emerge, with unseen powers! These heroes, Sir Galkros, Oбилић, and PRO-crastinator, may or may not join The Offendors! Nobody nows what will happen in the second Arc of
THE OFFENDORS

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Man I got to Start looking for a Team to join...

Anyone Interested in taking on a Fiery Teleporter? I can appear in a Burst of Flame! Walk through Burning Buildings! Grab powerful Super Villains and Teleport into the Sun! Go find wherever Kaboom! is and ask for help!

>>88067032
Chiller Queen brought up a good point, I'm a mediocre ice skater at best.

I could always try and run on compressed air in lieu of ice skating ahility.

>>88068064
You could join The Offendors, but we're still working on getting renewed for another volume.

>>88067032
>NC

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Portal_Physiology

Actually imagined getting this one. Is this a sign?

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Galaxy_Manipulation

I think I'm a bit overpowered. As for a name, uh...how about Proxima Alpha?

>>88067416

I hear Antarctica is lovely this time of year. I can find a metal to help shelter you from the intense weather.

Smoke Bomb makes six! Shall I use pic related for reference or do you have a description?

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Universal_Utopia_Creation
Whoa
I'm probably getting killed by people who make money on other people's suffering or something

>>88068064
I was thinking about Offendors, but I don't think I'm overpowered enough for that crap.

Elemental team sounds good.

>>88068263
At this point there are so many reality warpers on Earth that I think you all cancel each other out.

>>88068378
Should we make a team with overpowered /co/mrades?

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So you choose to continue this charade? Fine.

Tell me, how many lives have you saved? How many worlds protected from total annihilation? Have you defended all of reality from its own self-destroying nature? Or are you still bickering among each other like children?

>>88068378
>>88068263
Remember, I can reverse time and kick your pregnant mother down the stairs if you turn bad. Or at the very least, make you lose favored childhood posessions.

>>88068409
I'm pretty sure that's Offendors, the Saitamas of this world.

>>88068436
Hey SpeedRunner. We kicked Arsenal out.

>>88068446
>Or at the very least, make you lose favored childhood posessions.
Don't you dare take away my broccoli plushie.

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>>88068329
Awww Yeah, I'm up for a Element Themed Team.

I think we just need an Earth and Wind guy now.
>>88067475
Mecha Master could me Metal if we want to go the 5 Element route, or maybe we should stay with the Classics.

All I know for sure is I'm with you on not being strong enough for the Offenders.

>>88068533
I wouldn't dream of it!

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>>88068492
Are you mad? Don't you realize just how much potential a super-human like Arsenal has for evil? We need to get to him as fast as we can!

>>88068436
That's neat. I'm pretty sure you aren't even the strongest guy in the room anymore.

Some guys were going downtown for pizza, you in?

>>88068564
All he has is guns and whatnot. I can stop time indefinitely. You might be able to trump my slowed time, but not even you can move in my stopped time.

>>88068599
Never doubt a speedster, Clock. They thrive in bullshit.

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>>88067032
Hey guys, how's it hanging?

>>88063235
IDW!

>>88068436
I helped save the entire planet once!...You know, after it was destroyed.

>>88067659
NM. Just shat this out real fast. Straight pen, no guidelines or anything. So, yeah. When everyone else is done destroying everything in sight, call me to do a bunch of the clean-up, yeah?

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>>88067032
>Power
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Concept_Absorption
>Can absorb concepts and integrate them into my body, while removing them from the source.

This seems like a good idea until you realize that absorbging something like logic or gravity and manifesting it immediately breaks the Universe. Not counting the paradoxes that come from something as dangerous as this.

I feel like there's a degree of mental instability or immense restraint that should come from this - like Black Bolt and his lack of voice.

>Location
California, specifically San Francisco. I like the coast.

>Alignment
Neutral. Nothing good comes from being backed into a corner and instinctively absorbing something intrinsic to the Universe like time or space. I'll just open an items shop full of things I've found from other universes after absorbing the concept of dimensional travel.

And lastly a name. How about Animus?
Carl Jung's mental representation of unconscious responses. Absorbing concepts is dangerous, and it's best to ignore the temptation.

>>88067032
This hero buisness is getting boring.

Dubs picks new arc villain.

>>88067032
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Nature_Lordship
Not sure if I should go for a D&D druid or a cryptid

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>>88068664
Whoops

>>88068646
Hey Santa.
>>88068664
We don't destroy! We watch things get destroyed and do nothing about it!
>>88068636
You have a point, but...
.>>88068717
Hey! You're OP enough to join The Offendors!

>>88068436
Life has a natural order, yet to end conflict is the highest calling of all. It matters not to which the extent of good is done, only that good happens and peace remains

>>88068793
And that I get all my presents delivered by Christmas.

>>88068924
That too.

>>88068739

Is it my time yet? We shall see...

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>>88068747
Sure, Ill take a shot.

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Ground_Pound

Seis Mike: He'll punch the Tectonic Plates until they form a new Super Volcano.

>>88068944
WELLL

>>88068944

Well shit.>>88068739

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Anybody wanna spar or beat up street crooks? All this cosmic abyssal knowledge is making me antsy.
I wonder if Metal Master can fix me up with a helmet, Mirrors I look at are reflecting things that shouldn't be seen by normal eyes.

>>88069012
I doubt that's much of an option.
>>88069005

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>>88068739
Hey gang, what's cracking?

>>88069076
The Metal Master is, maybe.

>>88068994

It has come to this, my clock themed friend.

>>88069012

I think I can find something to fix your issue.

>>88068739
>>88068944
I'm guessing he's the villain now?

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>>88068944
Metal Master! You were suppose to destroy the naughties, not join them. You were suppose to bring balance to justice, not leave it in darkness!

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>>88068993
Missed it by one, whoops.

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>>88069130
Hmmmmmm.....

TOKI YO TOMARE


now to deliver multiple shin-kicks!

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http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Preservation

Well. Guess I just go about my daily life in between anything I have to do to keep existence about. Check up on the cosmic end of things before going to class or quiz night at the pub with friends. I'd save up for a trip to India to try and find a guru to ask for help working through this stuff. I'd step in if someone does shit that fucks with reality or might destroy the world if nobody's able to stop the baddie, otherwise I keep to myself.
I'd prefer something like 'Hey, You' as a title when I'm not doing normal person stuff, nothing too flattering or insulting.
If I outlive my loved ones I'd just find an out of the way little temple somewhere to mooch off of to devote myself to cosmic stuff and go out sometimes to mess with people in a parable kind of way.

>>88069130

Also. The six I'm drawing next. I'll split into 2 separate groups of 3 since this composition isn't working.

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>>88068598
Strength has nothing to do with it. I didn't even have powers when I first started my hero career. What matters is that you use your gifts for a greater good, to help mankind and save the lives of those in danger
>>88068599
If this is your attempt at intimidating me, Captain Clock, your words do not scare me
>>88068636
You think I'm a Speedster? I work at a higher level. I am Speed Incarnate!
>>88068646
If only we had more heroes like you, Mr. Claus... If only...
>>88068944
I don't care whether you are evil or good, Metal Master, I'll always try my best to use my powers to help you

>>88069277
Posting a picture of Captain Clock for reference
It's this outfit, but with a bigger helmet.
>>88069354
I don't intimidate, I stop time and kick shins.

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>>88068322
Pick Related is just fine, although i could do without the facial marking.
The closest i could get to how I imagined him was a Novakid.
Also: Thanks!

>>88069151

I am indeed. I regret not practicing my evil laugh sooner.

>>88069168

Oh, Santa. This charade has gone too long. I am destined for power. This world is mine.

>>88069207
Whoa. That's pretty metal, Captain.

>>88069446
I'm trying desperately to avoid "teleports behind u", but it's difficult with my powers.

>>88068322
I meant the Blue one, sorry.

>>88069446
>I am indeed. I regret not practicing my evil laugh sooner.

Alright, so what do villains do here again? Rob Banks? Declare War? I'm new to this whole "everyone is powered up" scenario. And I need to know what to look out for while sitting back and eating popcorn.

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>>88069446
There's good in you, Metal Master. I don't believe your turn to darkness is as swift as you claim. I don't want to hurt you. Neither does anyone here. There was a time when they all looked up to you and wanted you as their leader instead of me. Maybe I was just too jealous of you. Maybe you really were the better leader. That doesn't matter now. What does matter is that you make the right choice and give in while you still have a chance to reconcile yourself

>>88069354

Noble until the end, Speed-Runner. You would make an excellent first addition to my army.

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>>88069354
>I didn't even have powers when I first started my hero career.

Is Speed-Runner Pheonix Jones?

>>88069446
LIAR! The wold belongs to all the nice boys and girls of the world. You're just another smear on the naughty list.

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http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Harpy_Physiology

Hey! Whats going on in here?

>>88068944
Oh...

>>88069354
Ooohh...

>>88067100
..Dibs on the Ozark Mountains!

it can never be happy fun Hero times can it?...oh who am I kidding I love drama in these sort of things

Anyone got ice and/or snow in their driveway? Because I could take care of it, no problem.

>>88069590
Last guy blew up the entire planet, but Kek rebooted us all.

>>88069591
Quit that, Speedrunner. I already time-kicked his shins enough to cause light bruising.
>>88069600
Time-Speed Up!
Rapid rusting metal technique!

>>88069446
Metal master, what has caused such a foul believe to cloud your judgement? You used to do good, protect the innocent from harm, how could you reject such a higher calling?

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>>88069446
So what've ya got on you?

Because even ignoring the Offendors, you've got to have a hell of a lot more than a couple of scrap bots if you want to tangle with us.

>>88069678
Who blows up the planet they're even on? What the heck! Why not channel that energy into, I dunno "not" destroying things?

Then again, what do I know? I'm just a store owner here.

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>>88069600
Metal Master, what do I have to do to convince you to stand down? Please? I don't believe the loss of life is anything worth resulting to, and I won't start now by taking your lifee

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>>88069672
...You have no idea....

>>88069715
The guy's weird, try having him as a neighbor for once.

>>88069851
I'd rather not. He's clearly got an anger management problem. Destroying the Earth and Billions of lifeforms is problematic to business.

>>88069618

Santa who needs your gifts when you can have any weapon you can imagine. Like my sword? It has two blades! Three!

>>88069686
Can you handle the floor enveloping you?

>>88069708
I saw a light. It changed me.

>>88069714

Look around you. My lair is a living magic thanks to my magic.

>>88069851

Hot damn, I'll see what I can do.
If I do a good job, can I put a nice review from you on my fliers? Also tips are appreciated.

>>88069666
Hey, You're a creature like me, this power will make crazy, or an abomination, I think semi-crazy octopus man is a good in between. Things seem like they're gonna get hairy, what do you say Harpy Gal? I think Metallic Meister is bad news.

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http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Currency_Generation?useskin=oasis

Something, something, Jew.

>>88070026
As a matter of fact, I could not. But I could stop time when I feel the floor moving.

>>88070073
>Literally prints money.
Oy Vey. Can you buy me some materials? My store's running low and I need to restock.

>>88070131
Sure. I need a name though.

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Artificial_Soul

>The user is granted an artificial soul comparable to a human soul to replace natural soul. The artificial soul can take control of it, operating in a pre-programmed manner until removed. They can also be used on a body that has no soul, such as a corpse or even an inanimate object, such as a stuffed animal. These artificial souls possess their own personalities, which can be specially designed to fit one's specifications.

Through study of the Kaballah and ancient Jewish mysticism, I give life to the lifeless in order to defend the defenseless. I also run a pretty decent deli during the day. What's up?

>>88070073
shoo shoo, popusis mi kurac krasni!

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>>88070161
The Meiser, assuming you can control your powers.

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Pick-Pocketing

You can call me Picky McPockets.
I'll pick your pockets, I'll pick his pockets, I'll pick her pockets, I don't give a shit.

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>>88070026
Come on, Metal Master, I'm done playing these games. Either be a man and fight me now or prove to the rest of the world that you hide behind a thin sheet of sinister speeches!

>>88070161
The Reserve
>>88070194
Can you make Metal Master's metal sentient?

>>88069012
Oncw we deal with MM we can get back down to scrub tier shit.

I wasn't expecting someone to volunteer for the role of a villain, I was expecting a reroll for a new villain power

>>88068747
You know what? Both.
>Power: authority and control over Nature
Potentially OP, but can be used for things like combating deforestation
>Location: Last known sighting by a nature cam along the John Muir trail, last known activity was regrowing a recently harvested tree farm in Oregon overnight
>Alignment: Tree
>Name: Power Plant, maybe?

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>>88069666
Hello there! Team Elemental is looking for a Wind Guy, you game?

>>88067100
>>88068322
>>88069672
Well my Base is in Antarctica so maybe? I don't have a car their but I like to think I might have a Snowmobile some day.

>>88070237
Well, not truly sentient. But it could follow orders!

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>>88070004
Yeah, and he keeps stealing my electricity.

>>88070026
You act like you're the only one who knows how to forge a fine blade.

>>88070041
But of course! How well someone tips plays heavily on their naughty to nice ratio.

>>88070237
>>88070215
>>88070131
>>88070073
Behold! The Reserve lives!

>>88069760

Relinquish the claim you Offenders have on this world to me and there will be no bloodshed.

>>88070026
>living magic

Living weapon*

>>88070078
Hmph. Time eludes me yet again. But magic is within my grasp. Say hello to my metallic doppelganger.

>>88070026
Is that a challenge I hear?

>>88070232
Sit this one out Speedbump, the heavy firearms won't be needed for this one.

>>88070333
Okay that would make things worse.
>>88070338
Say, if you're the embodiment of holiday deities, and the Roman holiday Saturnalia venerated Saturn, does that mean you have Saturn's powers of timeline creation?
>>88070383
AH! The Big Gette Star allowed him to cheat Time! How could this be?!

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Variable_Collapse

I am practically invincible with this. If a criminal tries to shoot me I can make it so that it is impossible to hit me. I could stop any crime before it happens by making it impossible to happen. Alternatively, I could be the criminal and make it so that my shots will always hit.

Endless possibilities.

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>>88070219
What if someone doesn't have pockets?

>>88070215
>>88070219
Now I wonder who will win if those two fought

>>88070285
Sure! I'm game for the Heroing stuffs

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>>88070370
Perfect. So here's the list.
I'll need roughly $100,000 for maintenance for the next few years. I could try and pay you back but I don't have much. You could get everything from the store for free.

Food, Clothes, etc.

>>88070410
>>88070402
>>88070383
>>88070338

So hang on now who's trying to save the earth and who's trying to smash it? I just need to know who I sick my golems on.

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>>88070383
I cannot promise you that. I do not own this world, nor can I speak for others. I promise you everything I have and everything I am if you swear to end this once and for all
>>88070402
It doesn't matter if I'm the strongest man in the world or the weakest, I have a responsibility to try my best no matter what

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>>88070448
Here bruv.

Don't ask where it came out from.

>>88070459
I'm just trying to fight MM.
>>88070482
>everything I am
That sounds dirty.

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>>88070527
Damn it, man! This is serious!

>>88070527
Gimme a good reason and I'll bring his fortress to life and have it try and eat him

>>88070232
The floor around you is a spiked trap. What will you do?

>>88070338
I'm the best in the biz, Santa.

>>88070402
And you just accepted.

>>88070410
I came prepared.

>>88070572
He looks wierd!
>>88070571
Seriously lewd

>>88070598
Hey that Captain Clock guy is kind of a dweeb. What's the beef?

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>>88070522
Well fuck me, thanks. Just walk in and take a reasonable amount of items if you want. Just leave enough for other customers.

And for the record? I don't care where it's from, thanks for the cash. I'll put it to good use with maintenance.

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>>88070410
Well it's literally every holiday, so yes, I guess I can create timelines .

>>88070459
Why would I smash the Earth? There's so many children that need gifts delivered on it!

>>88070598
Being the best at making weapons means nothing if you're not skilled.

>>88070605
So do you desu

>>88070422

I just steal any clothes they have. It works in Skyrim, should work irl right?
No matter who'd actually win with all that pocket change I'd feel like a winner.

>>88070572
I'll put you on the nice list and get you that bike you've always wanted.

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>>88070598
I am Speed Incarnate! My very being is pure kinetic! Now make your final wager and end this game

>>88070677
Fair point.
>>88070694
I'll raise you 20.

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>>88070402
>>88070422

Alright! Team Elemental Lets Move out! Time to save the Earth!

>>88070459
Feel like Joining Team Elemental Golemach? All we need is an Earth guy.
Metal Master is trying to conquer the Earth by the way.

>>88070383
Heeeey, Buddy. You didn't booby trap my Antarctica lair or anything right?

>>88070694
Are they about to give each other the fastest high five?

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>>88070685
Why would I even bother fighting you? I've got a store to run! Fuck it, take some stuff from the store, I can spare a few missing items.

> Coral Physiology
> Be Montrealfag
Considering where I'm from, I would be extremely useless. The other 5 /co/mrads might want to form a team and call me if I'm interested but I'll say no because I would be too embarrassed. I may do some super heroing if shits is going down but I would probably carry on as usual. I would basically be a self-aware D-List hero.

I could also just move somewhere else where my powers would get better use. But I really like my city so I'd rather stay home.

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>>88070711
Someone said raise?

>>88070692
I have a job tho. That means I have money. So I can buy things I want, like bikes.
>>88070718
Sure? I'll need to take holidays off, but I can work Christmas.

>>88070740

You are a true businessman, good sir.

>>88070775
Shalom, my man. What say you and I do some business?

>>88070784
But what about that red one with the bell from your childhood.

>>88070799
Businessman is a strong word. We live in a world full of people who could annihilate the planet at a moment's notice. Consideration goes a long way, especially if you want to temper tension.

>>88070482
Oh Speed Runner. Are you wearing that fancy fortified armor or are you always this... Charismatic?

>>88070644
Poor, Captain Clock is simply misguided. The nerve. Coming to my lair and trashtalking me like he owns the place. Rude.


Now, let's finish this.

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Alternate_Event_Alignment
>User can see into the alternate timelines parallel to their own, directly affect which events from which timeline will lead to and stem from other events in the timeline by reconnecting events into another timeline. They can rearrange events in any order they wish in any timeline, like Event Order Manipulation but with other timelines, and the power mainly affects which past, present and future of other timelines lead to one another, no matter how different they are from each other.

That looks cool, can i use it to bring here a timeline where i got another power besides the time stuff?. i really would like to run fast or teleport

>I live in the same city than the coin
>He makes everything random
>i bring to our timeline the result i want to happen
Considering i would use my powers for personal gain and some anti-heroism i would says you got yourself an occasional nemesis bro

Now im tempted to call me the rigged coin but i dont want to fall into thawne/black manta hate autism. I suck at names so i welcome suggestions

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>>88070810
You had me at Business

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>>88070852
Damn it, man! Just tell me what you want! I'll give you my speed, I'll sell you my body! I can show you millions of alternate realities and alien worlds beyond your comprehension! I'll enlist in whatever army you want and die on whatever iron cross you construct! Just promise me you won't hurt anyone anymore in this world and I'll be your greatest herald!

>>88070816
Oh shit. Now that's an offer. Throw in that mint giant sized X-Man #1 and I'm in.
>>88070852
but can you beat their offer

>>88070718
Nice! I won't let you down weird fire lady guy!

If you wanna get technical the Harpy works better as a Storm character then just wind

>>88070598
>>88070694
Seems like they're just talking to me

>>88070859
>>88070666
And I'm not all that good with the sciency stuff, but wouldn't having multiple people that can make time lines be a bad?

>>88070852
Clock mode! Time stop!
Right, time for me to leave.
>>88070902
>I'll sell you my body
JESUS CHRIST, man!

>>88070882
Secret Jewminatti team?

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>>88070784
That's cool man, take Christmas off too. Santa's got the Holidays covered.

>>88070598
Alright Metal Master! We may have been friends (or at least you were my Realtor once) but I won't let you endanger the world any longer!

Team Elemental attack!
>>88070810
>>88070422
>>88070402

>>88070859
Schrodinger is the obvious choice, but something like Parallel works as well.

>That looks cool, can i use it to bring here a timeline where i got another power besides the time stuff?. i really would like to run fast or teleport
Depends on how you got your powers. Was it a chance encounter? or something more specific. It's the former then yes.

HOLY SHIT GUYS

I TOUCHED MY DOG AND HE JUST TURNED INTO DOLLAR BILLS. THIS IS BAD.

>>88070947
oh yes

>>88070916
I use Christmas magic to keep things from falling apart when we do it.

I used to pick normal pockets with my friend as a kid, so I need to step up my game immediately. I'm gonna pick the gods' pockets.

>>88070826

Businessman seems like even more of a fitting word now. I'm probably gonna be a regular, boss. And I'll pick other shoplifters' pockets.

>>88070666
Then watch me.

Dual sword slash!

>>88070694
Spike darts rise!

>>88070718

Booby traps? Of course not. I'm a businessman, I'm no fool.

>>88071094
I'll be outside, in a period of isolated time.

>>88070956
Nah, I don't celebrate it. Appreciated tho.

Alright, let's do this! Get me to his fortress with a soldering iron to etch in the Sacred Letters, and we got ourselves a giant iron kaiju on our side.

>>88071016
So how do we screw everybody over here? I have some ideas.

>>88071094
Get ready to eat shit goy

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>>88071094
Oh thanks man, I was really freaking out there for a second.

But uhh... TEAM ATTACK!
FIRE!

>>88070902

Millions of realities? Hmm...

>>88070928
fucking KEK

>>88071162
I touch em, now with my newly-found power. What say you?

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>>88071094
This ends tonight!

>>88071084
>Businessman seems like even more of a fitting word now. I'm probably gonna be a regular, boss. And I'll pick other shoplifters' pockets.

Not bad, you've found your preferred occupation. Why not join the Illumin - I mean the League of Gentlement over here?
>>88071214
>>88071162

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>>88071016
Be careful not to have any 'personal fun time' if you can't control your powers!

>>88071019
Ah, Good to know Mr.Santa

>>88070956
Wait wut

>>88071169
aaaaAAAOK

>Flaps wings to make Tornado

>>88071214
What are they teaching in temple nowadays? Nah, we play long game I vote. You betray us, try and take out 1-2 people, and escape with Metal Shmuck. I curse, and return with the elemental goyim. We can use >>88071084 as a go between seeing on if he's a member of the tribe or not.

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>>88071195
>>88071094
I will take you across universes as you stab my flesh with your spikes, Metal-Master. I will travel from the end of this world to the start of the next as a tortured prisoner for your amusement if it means you staying away from any of the people here

>>88071337
Dude, you need to get laid yesterday. LUCKILY FOR YOU

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>time for bad MS paint shit aw yeah
so, anyone up against warlord metal over here need coordination or logistics? that's pretty much all I've got.

Also, floating in the stream of information that binds us all is pretty boring.

>>88070947
>>88071016
yes hello greatest allies I am literally the embodiment of the media

>>88071237
>>88071255
>>88071169
>>88071162

Creates metal shield to reduce impact! -knocked into a wall,

My lair!

>>88071195

Pardon me, Mr. The Metal Master. Any... Pockets on that costume of yours? Asking for a friend.

>>88071237

Oh my god how are there so many cookies, you're gonna get ants in yer pants Santa.

>>88071248
>Why not join the Illumin - I mean the League of Gentlement over here?

Okee doke. What'll you have of me, boss(es)?

>>88071337
>>88071366
We could always call Kink Master. >>88055992

>>88071380
Thast;s rough there. Be a real shame if somebody sped up time around key structural supports, causing them to rapidly erode. Be a real shame.
>>88071439
Kink Master is the hero SpeedRunner needs. physically

>>88071337

I will accept this offer. Show me what reality holds.

And I can remove the spikes and replace them with an alloy that can magical heal your wounds if you wish.

>>88071419

I do have back pockets, yes.

>>88071457

You wouldn't. All that hard work wasted.

>>88071530
Try me, Tin Man.

>>88071371
Shalom. Wanna start playing up coverage of 'alleged atrocities' committed by both sides? let's get a shit storm going here.

>>88071419
>>88071318

>>88071530
Hah! my golems never tire, never give up! Go,
לְרַסֵק !

>>88071380
Now give up now and I wont transfer your name from the naughty list to the permanent naughty list.

>>88071419
As much as I need to fill my addiction. And if I catch you in my pockets again you're gonna make the naughty list.

>>88070422
Using your bra as a pocket works
But since we're talking about a pick-pocketer, uh
Don't do that

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>>88071530
Take my hand, Metal-Master. But never take away the spikes. I will always need to remember what I've given up. Now let's leave this reality for the next

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Goodbye.... again

>>88071371
>Actual MS Paint art
That seems like a rarity in these type of things lately, good to see someone is keeping up with tradition

>>88071615
This all seems overly lewd. First talk about getting Speedster guy laid and now this!

(What's the map like now?)

>>88071544
>>88071601
>>88071569

My lair is more important than some skirmish.

I concede.

>>88071670
To be fair, SpeedRunner started with his talk of "i'll give you my body if you don't hurt people". Sounds like a nasty-ass hentai plot to me.

>>88071624
Speed-Runner...You don't have to do this.

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>>88071380
Give up now Metal Master! We have 3/4s of a Team attack and Santa! You can't hold out forever, and even if you manage to get Speed Runner to help you escape; The Christmas Spirit and at least 3/4ths of the Elements exist in all dimensions!

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>>88071694
>>88071727
>>88071703
>>88071679

Woohoo! Let's all go to Golden Corral

>>88071624
Man for a reasonable price I would've just made you a sex golem. It could even look like him.

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Absolute_Existence?useskin=oasis

So am I a God?

>>88071624

Very Well, Speed-Runner.


Metal Master is gonna have to find a way to redeem himself.

It seems the day is saved again, but at what tragic cost? How will we, as a hero community, go on knowing one of our own deci-

>>88071762
OH BOY GOLDEN CORRAL!

>>88071768
Do you have to ask?

>>88071762
Eh, I'll pass.

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>>88071785
Come on, friend.

>>88071768
Probably not the first, but Yes.

>>88071694
Probably wouldn't last to long in bed I'm guessing

>>88071785
You didn't seem to do anything really evil. Everyone just kinda assumed it cause Dubs

>>88071762
I always preferred to catch my good live, but sure!

U-Unless you were inviting Smoke Bomb and not the Elemental Team...I-If thats the case I'll be over here...alone....all by myself....Have fun....

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I have been useless in this battle. This magic is more of a curse than a power.
All I see is what nobody else sees. I'm living in a blind world. It's enough to drive a normal person mad.
Is there anything a slightly insane knight like me can do?

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>>88071785
Well Team Elemental; We saved the World at the cost of it's greatest Hero... and my Realtor.

>>88071762
Who's up for Golden Corral Team?

>>88071876
>>88071785
Redeem yourselves at Golden Corral with me, Santa, Featherfall, and Smoke bomb

>>88071876
I'm coming.

>>88071910
See a Therapist? I mean if its only Slightly insane then it should help, right?

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>>88071910
Come to the Chocolate Wonderfall.

You know what sucks? Fake pockets. Why are they a thing?

>>88071530

Ooo, back pockets. Nice.
Oh man, you should add fresh metal to shit you use a lot, invest in some flux. Not that I'd know from stuff you may or may not have in your pocket. Just saying.

>>88071601

I'm on the nice list? Whoa.

>>88071615

I'm more of a back pocket man. And I don't steal feels on the job. I am a professional.

>>88071902
Of course you can come Featherfall, Team Elemental always sticks together (unless it's one of Golemachs shady schemes)!

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Hey guys, what I miss? Anybody you want dead?

>>88071931

Well, I do love their buttery rolls. What say you, Speed-Runner?

>>88072010
I will keep your suggestion in mind.

>>88072010
Well, no not really. But I do have a super naughty list I can put you on. Soooo, are we going to stop the guy doing an actual crime or not?

>>88072071
Metal Master went bad, then we beat him with the aid of the Elemental Team. Now we're all going to Golden Corral.

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>>88071967
Maybe you're right featherfall. Some One to talk to might-
>>88072007
Nah, Fuck therapy, I'll try to be more useful later, CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!

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>>88072074
I must do whatever you command, Metal Master. As your herald, I must do anything you say

Hello fellow Offendors

I'm Indra, the living thunderbolt. I've been banned for alleged proxy, don't tell Santa, so it'll be difficult to post. Just a heads up

But mark my words, I shall return

>>88072190
....You two aren't gonna up and have sex on the tables, right?

>>88067032
What's your power,
>Eclipse Manipulation
Where are you located
>St. Louis, Missouri
What do you call yourself?
>Dark Moon Man

>>88072161
Well, I tired. Just don't make a mess and get us kicked out

>>88072036
Yaay!

>>88072226
I would figure Santa to know automatically, being Santa and all

>>88072324
I'm sure no one wants to see that

AND SO ENDS THE METAL MASTER ARC
What will the future hold for The Offendors? Will the rapidly-growing Team Elemental gain reality-warpers? Will SpeedRunner stop being a sub?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON /CO/'s HERO THREAD

Reverse pick pocketing has some great applications. If I were up to something. Which I'm not, of course.

>>88072074

You need help, you lemme know. I'm not the best, but I know some basic metalworking stuff.

>>88072128

Aw. Do I still get coal on the super naughty list?

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Hey sorry to interrupt y'all but mind if i do my thing and make it a bit more dark round here?

>>88072556
No, but you get a drawing of my nutsack.

Hey MM, how are the drawings coming along?

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>>88072641
I'm gonna stop you right there. If you're implying internal night, that means days can't pass. If days can't pass there will be no Christmas. And if there's no Christmas Santa's gonna have to smack a hoe.

>>88071912
>greatest hero

Excuse me.

You know there are at least 7 different omnipotents who could supervise cage matches if you all really wanted to beat the crap out of each other.

>Adaptive appearance
>Waterloo, Ontario
How about Harmony?

>>88071912
>>88072777
>World's greatest hero.
First off, excellent trips Vanilla Ice. Second of all.

Do you really want people here to fight? That's not the best idea.

>>88072190

We shall feast, see a few realities and then you'll have your freedom back.

>>88072556
We will become good friends


Currently drawing Revolutianon, Captain Clock, Arsenal

>>88072824
I think its best if everyone just gets along and be happy! No need for fights

>>88072641
What about the people who are afraid of the dark? That seems overly mean to do that

>>88072556
Wouldn't the Reverse of Pick Pocketing be you giving out free stuff?

I'd like free stuff

Do it please.

>>88072926
>I'd like free stuff

Really? Why don't you ask the guy who literally prints money?
>>88070131
>>88070073
>>88070370

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>>88072753
Nah fool imma have ta stop ya right there, or ya gonna get a face fulla my moon rock rifle

>>88072926
listen man im just a guy whos gotta do a job, I got a moon family i gotta moon feed

How do i get myself added to the pastebin?

>>88072926
How can you get reverse pick pocketed if you have no pockets?

>>88067032
Can I reroll?
I'd just hide in shame and sell to oil companies.
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Oil_Vision

>>88073000
Revolutanon made he postbin, but he left a while ago.

>>88072727

Just saw this. See>>88072884

>>88071670
I didn't mean to be lewd, it was solid advice until I remembered the context. And then it was still arguably solid advice.
>>88072010
But since he's a gentleman, I still support that bras make great pockets, especially if your supersuit doesn't come with any.
>>88072129
Damn. Problem with living in the woods is I miss all the cool stuff.

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>>88067032
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Mass_Resurrection

I am Flashback Fiend. I have resurrected the mongol horde, the nazi army, the southern Confederacy, and for some reason every aboriginal who ever died in Australia.

I will unless these undead masses onto the public unless you meet with my demands.

Demand #1

All emeralds in the world are to be given to me so I may have a monopoly on the market.

Demand #2

Every hero must now have the word "man" at the end of their name regardless of gender for easier trademarking of their likeness, which I will of course be the first to submit the patent office!

>>88073168
We have a new supervillain, guys.

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>>88073168
Cute.

>>88072824
Not fights, just friendly spars for the hell of it.Training/outlet for violence.

>>88070859
>>88070986
Ok, finally got it. Call me Time navigator!. Every outcome in every timeline at my hand!

Now let me check one where i come out with the name earlier

>>88073197
Always reliable, aren't you?

>>88073168
I feel like this is a problem. For starters, why Emeralds? Green is a lame color.

Second of all, I ain't about that ultra leftist life. I'm already a Psychological Animus man....shit I'm already saying it!

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You fools cant stop me, the eclipseing has already begun! Prepare for ultimate night!

>>88073168
And if I was to, say, freeze your bones until they shattered into dust, would your /pol/ army crumble to dust?

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>>88073232
Just make sure I don't get bored
>>88073263
This is gonna be fun

>>88072642

I'll frame it and put it up on the wall right next the the other frame-worthy papers.

>>88072884

You'd probably have fun with casting grain.

>>88072926
>Putting store merch in someone's pocket so they get in trouble
>Slipping in a drawing of Santa's nutsack
>Grenade sans pin

>>88073168
>>88073208
I don't think we have a choice in the matter any more.

Unless we ask really nicely and he agrees...

Please don't make me change my name Mr.Fiend

>>88073263
>>88073168
Wait...which one do we fight?

Everlasting Darkness is bad, but so is changing my name...

>>88073000
You can't kill what's immortal. Christmas will never die.

>>88073168
Some of us have necromancy, your power is pretty useless...

>>88073197
DAMN IT KABOOM! At least wait a little while before doing that!

>>88073301
>>88073324
Don't worry, Fiend's dead now. Kaboom! is probably handling Moonman as we speak.

>>88073371
Dealt with him. Now I'm bored again. Who's next?

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http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Conceptual_Baking

I was just a normal chef who's cooking was a delight around the world until the decry that all heroes must have man added to their name. I don't consider myself a hero but all my Yelp and TripAdvisor reviews say I'm the hero this culinary world needs; so thusly I had to comply with the demands being made.

Sadly i was also forced to give up my grandmothers Emerald to ensure the safety of the world at large. Since then I've been trying to save up enough money from my baked good sales to buy back the necklace legally.

Slowly but surely i struggle with the day to day living as i try in vain to recover my grandmothers gem; leading me to make more and more questionable decisions as i flirt with the easy path to money.

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SOMEBODY MAKE A MOVE AND I PERMA KILL THE NEXT PERSON TO ROLL A 7. DARKNESS CANNOT BE STOPPED

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>>88073197
Don't mind if I just resurrect myself. But I appreciate the effort. For your actions, I have also resurrected every sexual predator who ever lived near your parents. Hope you're happy.

>>88073192
I'm just an honest businessman.

>>88073246
Emeralds because I have seen how good Debeers has done with diamonds, now I want a cultural iconic mineral as my payday for life.

>>88073296
Thats a neat idea. If I couldn't just resurrect them. For your insolence I have resurrected Jim Jones and given him access to social media.

>>88073371
>>88073411
But can't he just Resurrect himself?

If not, then this all seems Anti Climatic

>>88073317
Huh...fair point Mr Pockets

>>88073434
Can I have a sandwich? Turkey and Ham with some cheese and lettuce if you please

>>88073434
How are your cookies?

>>88073168
Cool. Meanwhile I will resurrect black mold in all of their lungs.
Unless you want to team up to resurrect endangered and extinct species?
>>88073246
Green is an AWESOME color

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>>88073463
Ka-Boom

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>>88073471
Jesus Christ! This fucking shitshow went from 0 - 10 really quickly.

Anyone need food? I'm still open until Midnight.

>>88073434
Hey you, asshole! Come open up a cooking section in my store!

>>88073471
Isolated Time! TOKI YO TOMARE!
Now you exist in your own flow of time, independent from the others.
SANTA! Isolate this timeline from him!

>>88073513
you missed it was too dark
>>88073519
someone say midnight?

>>88073538
Please Don't. Oh Dear God. I can only swallow so much of this chaos before I choke. Store's still open if anyone wants food.

Checked the other thread.

Ice-9, I'll add you to the pic with Mr. Never Die, Sir Galkros and Smoke Bomb.

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>>88073463
How do you plan on perma killing what can't die?

>>88073471
If you do this, I /will/ put you in the naughty list.

>>88073519
Am I still making an appearance there this weekend?

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Cycle_Manipulation

I'm not smart enough to really understand how my powers work. Can I still sit at someone's lunch table?

>>88073599
You might want to do something with Team Elemental

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>>88073475
>Makes a sandwich, its construction takes several long painstaking minutes but it is immaculate, every detail crafted to perfection. Even the lettuce is folded in such a way that is tantalizing enough to make your mouth water.

>>88073499
"My cookies are the absolute finest in the cosmos; i have spent all my life perfecting the recipe."

>>88073475

"That'll be 2000$ dollars please."

>>88073519
"fuck you pay me."

>Holds his hand out.

>>88073471
See, I called it! He just resurrects himself!

>>88073463
Please don't, there is no need for that Mr. Moon

>>88073599
C-Can I get a drawing?

>>88073627
OH NO SANTA!

>>88073642
OH NO I Don't have that kind of money....

Where is that guy who makes money, I need him pls

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>>88073573
what you selling, if you got good eats ill cease the eclipse
>>88073627
YO I JUST FUCKING KILLED SANTA SHIT

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>>88073501
Sure, but I get claims to 63.33% of all profits we get from this. I have to plan out the trust funds for my future children so they can grow up spoiled while also having excess influence over the media.

I'll resurrect a few mastodons to get it started, and then give them to the Mongols to ride.

I'm still waiting heroes. I only have 2 simple demands.

>>88073536
Thats ok, i'll just kill myself and resurrect myself back in the timeline. But for your efforts, I have resurrected every dog that had rabbies within a 5 mile radius of all of your close family. Hope you're happy.

>>88073627
You own slaves, I don't take moral lessons from you. Now get me my emeralds or i'll resurrect all the neanderthals in the north pole to go primal on your elves and wife.

>>88073670
Kaboom

>>88073668
>>88073642
>>88073599
It might be time to withdraw.

>>88073707

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>>88073627
>Am I still making an appearance there this weekend?

"Of Course! It's almost December! Kids love to see you."

>>88073632
"It's called: "I have the universal reset and redo buttons in my mind and can trigger them at will".

>>88073642
"Oh Fuck you. Fine."
>Tosses him a wad of $400 Bills
"The floor upstairs should work for you."

>>88073670
"I own a giant mall complex La Luna. What do you think?"

>>88073707
So that's uh... two dead, I think this is the part where I step in. Feel free to back me up Team Elemental.

>>88073707
missed it was too dark
>>88073695
shut yo bitch ass up before i make you go dark, permanently

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>>88073745
You want to play this game? Let's play this game

Ka-Boom

Seems kids really enjoy dragons made out of rainbow fire.

I'm gonna heat up some old food and pass out, any threats you need me for, wake me up

>>88073135

Please use your bra as pockets, women's pants practically have tiny goblin hand-size pockets. Sometimes they even have fake pockets. If I were stronger I'd outlaw fake pockets. But such is life for Picky McPockets.

>>88073670

Pretty sure you can't kill the spirit of Christmas, Dark Moon Man. Like at least 90% sure.

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>>88073668
"I already made your sandwich You HAVE TO PAY ME!"

>>88073695
"I have met with your demands, please just don't sell my grandmothers emerald! im trying to save up the money!!"

>Looks around frantically

"Perhaps we can make a deal? Surely someone as rich as yourself needs a chef?"

>>88073735
>Catches the money, counts it.

"sure this'll cover one 5 course meal, what'd you want to eat?"

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http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Kinetic_Abilities
I swear to god I got this.
Does this mean... does this mean I get ALL the kinetic abilities?

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>>88073642
I'll take all of them.

>>88073668
>>88073670
You fool! I have the powers of Halloween, who's to say I wasn't always dead. I /am/ holidays incarnate, you can't kill a concept.

>>88073695
That's actually a myth. My Elves are just penguins in cute costumes. I /do/ whip them though.

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>>88073788
nice dubs but no dice, Kaboom, you gotta make it lighter to see me to hit me ya dig?
>>88073791
Guess that makes him the Ghost of Christmas, Past, Present, and Future

>>88073832
Yep. Welcome to the nigh-omnipotent's club, which I am not a part of.

>>88073632
As I understand it, comrade, you now have power over the divine cycles of the universe. Have fun being the LORD himself.

>>88073842
If you make a spare timeline, I can Jump-Blast Dark MoonMan into it

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>>88073794
"Christ, I don't need food from you, you Neanderthal! I need you to cook for other PEOPLE! so they visit the store more often! Make skillet or steak, I don't care."

>>88073832
"I imagine so. What are you waiting for? Go run a marathon or stop a train or some shit."

>>88073842
"...The fuck? So you're telling me I should call you Mr. Holiday? That's sort of catchy."

>>88073735
>"It's called: "I have the universal reset and redo buttons in my mind and can trigger them at will".

Huh! How about that. I wonder if I can put that on resumes?
You can call me Buttons.

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>>88073859
You don't get it. I'm not trying to kill you with the explosive blast

I'm killing you with the radiation of those blasts

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>>88073877
Consider it made.

>>88073879
I swear to me if you call me something other than Santa you'll be shoveling coal out from your house for years to come.

>>88067032
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Eclipse_Manipulation

>Name: Penumbra
>Location: West Virginia

I normally don't spring for vigilantism against mundane crime, but all those bastards dealing out heroin on the streets are first on my shit list.

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>>88073745
You're rude. I like it. Lets be friends. I'll resurrect a bunch of ancient humans who worship the moon. Sound goodie?

>>88073794
You will cook for me, and you will do so with a VERY silly accent. We're talking like Bjork on acid silly. And thank you for changing your name. I will be merciful and give you .005% of all profits from your merchandising that I will sell to Disney.

>>88073842
Animal labor. Real cook Peppermint Michael Vick.

>>88073859
>>88073936
Now! Jump-Blast Time Wave!
Dark Moonman enters an alternate timeline, in which Time is permanently stopped!

>>88073317
>Give them pockets so you can steal from their pockets
>>88073434
If you need fresh fruits, vegetables or seasonings, call on me!

Shit, I should be giving this stuff to orphans or something shouldn't I

>>88073695
Profits? Come on, we've all seen Jurassic Park, we all know how that's going to end.

Just bring back like, the fish populations that have gone down from overfishing. Bam, fishing industry, starving people AND planet saved.

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>>88073898
"...Buttons? Fuck it, I'm not one to judge. Be careful with the resets. The shop closes on Weekends after 9 PM, and at 2 AM on Weekdays until 8 AM."

>>88073936
"Cool your jets Gramps. I ate the concept of coal a while back...Along with Archetypes in general......Every now and then I can still taste them both somehow. Euugh."

"Besides, you've got a fucking Sentient Moon Man to deal with."

>>88073973
"Bjork? Jesus man, we're at least somewhat politically correct. Have some decency!"

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>>88073936
>>88073904
>>88073877
>>88073988
YOUS GUYS ARE MAKING ME MOON MAN! NEXT PERSON TO ROLL A 8 OR 4 GOS DARK FOREVER
>>88073973
you remind me of a very old rival of mine, someone whos name makes me mad whenever i think of it. to have any kind of relation to him makes us on bad terms buddy so watch your step

>>88073973
Is this about me not getting you that pogo stick when you were eight?

>>88074055
Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore. Your antics bore me

>>88073739
"B-But, Santa is dead. As is Christmas"

>Harpy tears fall

>>88073794
"How come my Sandwich costed more then a 5 course meal!? That doesn't seem fair at all!"

>>88073842
"Yay Santa is a...Zombie....I am not sure how to feel about this..."

>>88073879
>>88073832
"You and Speed Run can have races now!"

>>88074055
"Mr.Moon Why are you doing this!?"

>>88074055
Jokes on you, You can't move in stopped time!

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Trinity_Force

guess i'm moving up to a higher plain of consciousness.

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>>88073842
>Bakerman takes a bite out of a loaf of bread that is as hard as steel. In the blink of an eye he produces a tray of cookies

"Sure anything for you Santa; thanks for the easy bake oven when i was a kid, it really changed my life."

>>88073879
>Counts the money again.

"Fine; but I'm flirting with the possiblity of getting my grandmothers emerald back so I'll be leaving after this feast...now where did i put that temporal altering breadstick."

>Taking another bite, time is once again paused enabling him to create a feast worthy of the money and more.

>>88073973
>Takes a sip from a french soup he had made in his time pause. his voice was now identical to a Bjork on acid.

"Yeaayyy gerr buu swoo, veeddsseh herr bee doo."

>throws his towel on the ground

"you know what. fuck this. I quit. You don't own me!"

>>88073994
>Pissed off and storming out of a ktichen as only chefs are known to do, he stumbles across the fresh fruit salesman.

"You know what, I HAVE always wanted to open my own locally sourced health food restaurant. I should like to procure your resources. We can feed the orphans later! First we must make money!"

>>88074086
"Because that sandwich gives you control over your bowels. complete. control."

>>88074167
Temporal what now?

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>>88073994
Why would I do that? I don't have anything invested in fishing or africa. So why resurrect something that is not gonna serve my goals and make me money? For your stupid ideas, I have resurrected all the africanized killer bees AND locust that have ever died in North America. Good luck keeping your plantlife stable.

>>88073998
I am politically correct. I own like 2 SuperPACs with my Emerald money.

>>88074055
I'm sorry you have hurt feelings over shit I don't care about.

>>88074062
I didn't need you Santa, I had rich parents to buy me things from the mall like real people. Only poor and shitty kids relay on Chines- I mean elf labor made toys from some old has-been.

>>88074167
But I do own you. You already made your name the copyright I submitted. I own your likeness for the next 90 years in the court. Lawyer up if you wanna talk "man"

>>88074086
"Races? What the fuck? I'm busy running a shop for people! What part of this is gibberish?!"

>>88074084
"You had a good run."

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>>88074086
i need to feed my moon family sorry
>>88074084
no need to be upset, if you train more maybe one day you will best me, BUT YOU GOT A 4 BIG BOY ITS OVER FOR YOU, HAVE FUN IN ETERNAL DARKNESS MY FRIEND
>>88074087
dont need to move to use my powers goy

>>88074203
You do when you're in Earth-2! I jump-blasted you into an alternative Santa timeline!

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>A Bright Red Streak of lightning runs by most of the characters, streaking around before stopping.

"...Shit, wrong world. He knocked me out of the barrier...Bolt! I'm on my way back!"

>He then breaks back through the multiverse barrier leaving this reality once more after moving at Super Speed.

>>88074195
But I know the one thing your parents money couldn't buy you, their love.

>>88074226
But i never stopped making it dark, theres 2 people who can reverse the forever eclipse, me and the man who must be summoned with the song

>>88073863

Whoa! It's a shame someone smarter didn't get this one.
Am I able to control the applications, too?

>>88073998

I'll be sure to drop by!

I'm going to step out for a moment to see what else I can do. I want to do my best!

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>>88074203
Don't act too cocky, Moon man. Just because you blinded me doesn't mean I'm any less powerful! If anything you've given me even more reason to fight! This is the most intense battle I've had all week!

Next person to roll a 6 gets hit with an atomic blast punch

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>>88074195
>Kicking his half constructed food stand down, he goes into a fit of rage, throwign things and screaming

"YOU DID WHAT?!?!"

>He's sweating, and clearly the stress of his work is getting to him.

>>88074190
>>88074190
"Fucking temporal bread ! ITS LIKE YOU HEROES KNOW NOTHING I FUCKING SWEAR! It pauses time while you fucking chew it so you can savor the god damn flavor!"

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>>88074259
Yeah but having a lot of money and material possessions and using said material possessions to get shallow women and other peoples respect is pretty sweet. So no chip on my shoulder over it.

>>88074316
you just blasted yourself you blind fool

>>88074316
"Huh....Might wanna hide from your blast man."