Your deemed insane and sent to arkham. You can pick one batman

>>86777657
Riddler. I'll make him my bitch

Fuck, just throw me into Ivy's den and at least I'll die hopped up on pheromones.

>>86777716
Hot would he ask sexually related riddles when you fuck him?

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>>86777657

>>86777657
Maxie Zeus. I'll pretend to him I'm Hephaestus or some shit.

>>86777742
I keep seeing her. Whats her name?

>>86777761
>Hephaestus
Ah, the ugliest and most pathetic god! Good choice, not like you'd be able to imitate Hades or something.

>>86777762
bunny slut

>>86777782
Is he the most huggable villian ever?

>>86777772
The cartoon taught me he thinks Bats is Hades anyway.
Maybe when we catch the bi-weekly break-out he can pay me to build some shit.

>>86777782
He just couldn't fix granny.

>>86777791
I think so.
>>86777802
>tfw no robogranny villain

>>86777792
>BUILD ME A TEMPLE
>Okay that shouldn't be too-
>OUT OF GOLDEN MARBLES
>-Fuck.

>>86777849
>GOLDEN MARBLES
Eh, maybe I'll pretend to be Dionysus instead.

Don't forget: Magpie lets you creampie her if you bring her shinies.

This is canon.

So yeah, I'm with OP

>>86778006
How many shinies must i give her to make her truely love me?

>>86777657
>cellmate
>in Arkham
Just put me in solitary.

>>86778054
>not wanting some hot chick to fuck
>not wanting a total insane bro to team up and make plans with
>not wanting hot twink crane ass

So from Bro-Tier to Death-Tier, rate how you'd survive with each Arkham resident.

>>86777657
Wouldn't she claw out your yes because they shined under the light? Not worth it for boobs.

>>86777762
Judy Hopps

>>86778331
Blindfolds maybe?

>>86777762
White Rabbit

>>86777762
Jessica Rabbit

>>86777657
I pick Riddler

>>86778013
too many for you to gather in a lifetime

The Joker

He is intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor just like me.

>>86777742

Bunny Slut is actually a top-tier choice because she's one of the few that are not violent.

>>86778565
I cringed hard

Is Freeze in Arkham? Can I be Freeze's roommate without having to live in sub-zero conditions?

>>86777657
Poison Ivy, that way the only thing to worry is Ivy using her pheromones on you
Also that way I can talk and convince Ivy to actually reveal her feelings for Harley

>>86778066
I do not need the image of some neckbeard raping Crane in my head.
You could even say that it's a SCARY thought.

>>86778565
>try to sleep
>Joker keeps farting and giggling at his farts
MOM'S GONNA FREAK.

>>86778331
If you get her to love you enough she wont

>>86777742
Wait, so Spider-Man and his DC equivalent both have cute rabbit-themed villains?

>>86778815
What rabbit themed villian does spiderman have?

>>86779178
March Hare, girl who dresses like the rabbit from Wonderland.

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>>86778013
Just pretend to have a hidden dark side. It worked for Batman.

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>>86777657
Two-Face.

I want to fistfuck him hard and then shove his stupid coin up his ass. And then watch him try to take it out as he accidentally keeps pushing it further inside.

Don't.

Never stick your dick in crazy.

>>86778066
>>86778733
>Did you think you were actually raping me?
>It's just my NEWEST FORMULA

>>86780895
Crazy are the hottest and kinkiest people.
>>86780876
Holy kek batman

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>>86778187
Joker - dead man
Freeze - freeze
Two Face - 50/50 chance of dead man
Riddler - insufferable and maybe dead man if you're not smart enough
Ivy - dead man
Harley - dead man
Bane - dead man
Killer Croc - dead man
Scarecrow - dead man
Penguin -dead man

Seriously, if you're just a joe shmoe, you're dogmeat in Arkham

>>86778617
Yes he's in Arkham, no he's kept in a freezing cold room

>>86778013
You never can, anon. Magpie/shiny things is OTP.

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Just shack me up with one of the C-listers who're just eccentric enough to get away with an insanity plea in shitty Gotham court, but not really crazy. Killer Moth in particular seems like he'd be pretty bro-tier - the more ostentatious, infamous inmates probably just ignore him, and you'd probably be his best friend just for not mocking him and showing interest in his Batman stories. Plus, his whole backstory is that he was a model prisoner for years while training to be a criminal Batman, so he knows how to lie low but also could get your back when a riot inevitably occurs. Assuming he didn't use you as a human shield.

Or turns into a mothmonsterman and eats you.

I'd say Kite-Man, but he's probably a member of the Aryan Brotherhood or some shit.

>>86780876
That got a good laugh. Couldn't he just wait to shit it out though?

>>86782899
How will he decide to shit it out or claw it out if he doesnt have his coin

>>86777657
Talia. Shes gonna try to manipulate me but that usually involves fucking me too so thats a win win and Ras isn't gonna leave her there long.

>>86782493
penguin bane killer croc ivy harley and freeze aren't deadly unless threatened they've all been shown to work with other people ivy may kill you by accident or on purpose but not likely

>>86780876
Solomon Grundy, because your post killed me.

Well something to keep in mind, is that if i'm in Arkham i have to of done something pretty terrible, right?
So what did i do to land me in the prison for the worst of the worst?

Like every good villain, I was once a normal guy. I used to have a steady job as assistant pharmacist at a walgreens or the gotham equivalent. Because of my position of power, i have easy access to the medicines sold at the store. I will spend months smuggling out viagra, cialis, or whatever erectile dysfunction and "relationship enhancing" drugs I can.

Once i have a sizable stockpile hidden away where no one can find. I "snap" at work. Assault some people commit a few violent crimes, and land myself in a minimum security prison for a year or two.While i'm inside i make a reputation as a man who knows his drugs, and can get said drugs to anyone who can pay I get out early on good behavior. With my newly aquired street cred as a man who knows his drugs, i join up with Bane's crew. I keep myself out of dangerous and life threatening situations by using my connections and skills to acquire the Venom for Bane.

I then secretly betray Bane by sending an anonymous tip to Batman on Bane's whereabouts and plans. In the ensuing mayhem I leave with a large supply of Venom. The hard part is over, now comes the fun part. I create a liquid cocktail mixture of Venom and sexual performance enhancing drugs, i have enough venom to make hundreds of gallons of this stuff. I make an extra potent cocktail for myself.

>>86783032
Ivy kind of hates humans in-general.
And it really depends on what version of Croc you're working with, and what version of Bane.
Harley is usually batshit-crazy and might kill you for a laugh.
Penguin and Freeze are usually safe though.

>>86783181
Then on Valentine's Day, the most romantic night of the year, I do the thing scarecrow did in batman begins, with the fear drugs in the water supply I Then go to the Gotham equivalent of Time Square and take my extra powerful dose. Thus begins my COCK RAMPAGE. Soon the entire city will be engulfed in cock rampage. Men, women, and everything in between will be raped. No one is immune. It's rape-apalooza. The justice league will have to be called into stop me, but with all the rape drugs in the air will they even be able to stop me? I'll eventually be captured, but not before raping everything Batman holds dear. That includes raping alfred.

Anyway, to answer your question OP, I want to be cellmates with Bueno Excelente.

>>86783191
harley isnt crazy though at least she didnt use to be she was just obsessed with the joker but i just cant see bane killing someone just cause their in the same room or croc especially while he's being sedated

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>>86777657

For waifus, Deula or Magpie probably. I can deal with Deula's brain problems and she'd be fun, while Magpie is probably the most manageable and easy to please DC waifu. Maybe Queen of Hearts, since her whole deal is that she's afraid of dying and would appreciate somebody caring for her.

For bros to hang out with probably Dumpty or Mad Hatter.

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>>86782493
That's Great White Shark's whole thing.

Great White Shark. He'll definitely have a soft spot for the new guy. Besides, if I'm going to Arkham it's guaranteed I'll be coming out some crazed supervillain. Better to establish connections early.

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Put me in a cell with Roxy Rocket and throw away the key

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>>86777657

>>86783346
>He'll definitely have a soft spot for the new guy.
You may want to re-read Living Hell. The book ends with him eager to put the new inmates that are arriving through the same shit he got. Plus he'd gladly sell you out to get back his old cell mate and right hand man, Humphrey.

>>86783468
The ending only had him asking who the "new fish" was. Doesn't necessarily imply putting other people through what he has.

>>86783458
I'd make her feel like an adult.

>>86783502
I doubt he'd do anything to actively help you, but at least he wouldn't kill or maim you for no reason like the majority of the inmates.

Even Humpty might try to "fix" you. The worst Mr. White is likely to do is make you his gofer.

>>86783735
With my penisand conversations of mature topics

Gonna bro it up with Killer Croc. Try to convince him to become a hero.

>>86783458
who dis

>>86777657
>mental asylum
>roomates

Sounds safe.

>>86783921
It's called Iron Heights.

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Calendar Girl

The Mad Hatter.

I think we'd get along fine, as long as he doesn't try to put anything on my head.

>>86782493
bit you would have comic book self awareness, ergo a superpower

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>>86783918
Baby Doll, from the cartoon

This makes me wonder. Are there any Batman villains in Arkham who definitely wouldn't kill?

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Bane

As long as I'm not a hothead, I should be fine. Perhaps he could even show me how to raise fire.

Calendar Man. He always knows the date, a little interesting trivia, and it's highly unlikely he'll try to kill me.

>>86782493
Bane - Would probably just ignore you, unless you insult him or he thinks you're useful
Killer Croc - If you treat him with respect, he's not going to anything really bad to you
Scarecrow - He most likely kill you
Penguin -If you show him you have worth, he could even give you a job

>>86784035
Riddler's not supposed to, but some asshole writer always comes along to sniff out the characters who haven't been made edgy yet and grimderp them up.

>>86783318
>my chart still gets use
nice

anyway, magpie

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>>86777657
Bruno
I think she just needs someone to listen to her
all girls just need a little attention
she probobly is a real softy on the inside

and let her completely dominate me, yay

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>No-one's picked Orca
Seriously?

>>86784527
I'm not into landwhales

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>>86784527
>Orca will appear in The Lego Batman Movie.
haha nice

>cellmates with Bane
>have to constantly resist urge to banepost

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As long as he doesn't try and make any kind of sauce in the toilet we would probably get on fine.

>>86784389
It's not that he "isn't supposed to." It's just not something he goes out of his way to do. He doesn't care either way.

>>86784527
I swear she was choice #2

>>86784670
This. Riddler left people in death traps from his first appearance. Albeit as distractions for Batman, but the point is, he really doesn't value human life much.

>>86783318
>Dagger Type

kek

>>86784035
Are we counting Humpty as a Batman villain?

He only willingly killed his grandma, but he's not out to hurt anyone. Anyone killed or hurt is due to his compulsion, indirectly.

I have a Prince Albert piercing, she'd probably be a poor choice of roomate.

Bruce Wayne

>>86784551
And Mime, Doctor Phosphorous, and the Kabuki Twins. The twins are already showing up in Lego sets for it, too.

I can't wait.

>>86783983
Mad Hatter would be the broest cellmate.

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>>86784551
>>86786757
>forgetting about best character

I choose Bruce Wayne!

Kite-Man. Think that's a safe choice.

Alternatively, sex adventures with Clayface.

>>86778614
pls go

Penguin might be a good choice as long as you stay out of his way. Plus if he likes you, you've earned some connections.

>>86786886
The problem with Penguin, or any crime boss, is that they aren't looking for a pal. Even if you got in his good graces you'd just be a disposable toady. Lesser villains have a lot more to gain from an ally.

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Catwoman
I want her to make me her fuckpet

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>>86789527
I'd take Selina, but she's not even a villain anymore, not really

Dr. Balin it is

>>86777738
Yes

>>86789571
Isn't she dead?

>>86790272
That wasn't a condition

Something bothers me

Why are some villains like Penguin, Bane, and arguably Ivy sometimes taken in to Arkham when they aren't crazy?

>>86783191
>>86783032
>>86782493
Freeze wouldn't personally kill you unless you messed with him, but you have to keep in mind that the OP said "as a roommate". Even if Freeze didn't kill you, you'd freeze to death in his room.

>>86790328
Probably because they have facilities relatively better suited for holding them, in the case of Bane and Ivy. I don't think Penguin ever really goes to Arkham because his criminal dealings are hidden under the front of legitimate businessman. If he is ending up there, he probably bribed.threatened someone into making it happen.

>>86778614
It's a meme. Google it.

>>86782493
If you get on riddlers, harley, banes, penguin, and maybe even ivy and crocs good side, youd survive. Also, freeze is a cool guy, so if his living conditions werent fatal hed probably make a great roommate.

>>86777657
Joker, because I'd be out in a week tops.

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>>86786757
>Kabuki Twins

Oh, shit, nice. I honestly thought I was the only person who remembers that The Batman exists.

>>86790328
Arkham is notable for being an early place capable of housing and containing metahumans, like the Anchoress. People like Croc and Freeze are both sane but are sent to Arkham because of their special needs as an inmate.

From Wikipedia:
>In addition, prisoners with unusual medical conditions that prevent them from staying in a regular prison are housed in Arkham. For example,Mr. Freezeis not always depicted as mentally ill, but he requires a strongly refrigerated environment to stay alive; Arkham, with special conditions required for certain patients or inmates being a regularity rather than exception, is seen by authorities to be an ideal location under certain circumstances.

I believe Penguin sometimes goes to big boy jail though, and I know that Orca was sent to the Slab (she shows up in Last Laugh)

>>86792343

You mean in a bodybag?

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>>86777657
>Your

>>86790272
she salive again since the last issue of all star batman

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>>86777657
Setting up shack with Jenna's the only way to go.

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>>86777657
penny plunderer, he's owe you a favor if you give him a penny

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Scream Queen?
Scream Queen!

>>86798041
Damn son, you must be an oldfag. Good taste.

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No-one picked this thrill-seeker?

>>86782955
Kek

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>>86782721

>>86798088
nvm, just noticed >>86783394

>>86798088
Man, you better know how to lay some serious pipe, else you gonna get shivved.

Does clayface still count as a villain?
Killer croc seems like a nice guy too.

>>86783318
Name all of them, /co/

>>86792090
>freeze is a cool guy
Arnie, please

>>86784655
Probably says 'Look out, Mustard gas!' when he's gotta fart superbad

>>86786337
Clearly you need more piercings.
Make your cock shiny enough and she wont't be able to keep away from it.

>>86777742
Didn't she escape
But yeah good choice she does not seem overly dangerous.

>>86783032
Harley would be safe as long as you suck up to her and you work out early on exactly what to say when the subject of her puddin comes up.
Just make sure you get the hell out of dodge when major shit goes down in case joker shows up at your cell.

Croc probably depends on the writer.

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Fuck this shit, I'm going to Stryker's Island
>Chilling with Parasite, Livewire and a big-ass tv

>>86789571
Orca should teamup with Tiger Shark and Captain Stingaree. These aquatic criminals could call themselves the Wet Bandits.

>>86798041
Most underrated fucking villan ever

>>86793126
>Anchoress
Anyone here like her? I hardly ever see her mentioned in super villain discussion.

>>86798178
>Killer croc seems like a nice guy too.
He's a cannibalistic serial killer who swims around in sewer water. Swell guy, we golf on weekends.

>>86799291
Well when your weapon is your face it kinda trns into cannibalism by default. He's really more of a hit man then a serial killer I would say, but Ive seen more cartoons and video games then comics.
I'd rather him then say Mad Hatter orRiddler or somebody that ties to fuck with my head, we wouldn't be a good match for te reason Croc would not be a good match for them, I would kill them. I don't deal well with manipulative personalities.

>>86799361
I was going to say ventriloquist but he really seems boring ass fuck an it would be a matter of time until he made a new scarface out of toenails and crusted semen or something. He strikes me as shit eating nuts.

>>86799361
Killer croc seems like a real bro if you treat him nice and pull a trixie tang and tell him hes pretty because he is

>>86777657
Maxie Zeus. All I have to do is pretend to worship him, and never, ever let him find out that I'm an atheist. And hope he doesn't think I'm some mythological character who pissed off Zeus, like Prometheus, or Tantalus.

>>86777657
The Penguin. He seems like a reasonable guy who's also easy to get along with.
>inb4 all of you faggots are choosing with the assumption Arkham allows mixed-sex cells

Fries seems chill

>>86799432
You know as a bisexual guy with high dude standards in favor of pretty guys and who doesnt go for really huge guys, im kinda confused as to why i wouldn't mind a healthy dose of croc cock in my ass.

>>86799593
Penguin shouldn't even be in Arkham. He's a "legitimate businessman", not criminally insane (even by the Gotham courts' ridiculously loose interpretation of the term "criminally insane").

>>86799781
I'd call Arkham Penguin insane, though. Propping up all those bodies in the museum is something a nut like Zsasz would do.

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I feel like Harley wouldn't do anything to you as long as you left her alone or just acted friendly towards her, without making any unwanted advances.

>>86778743
Haha, that's kinda funny.
I wonder what they'd smell like. Haha

>>86800273
Yes, but getting involved with the Joker, even trough proxy, is bad news.

>>86782493
Why would the Penguin be in Arkham? He's not crazy, you normally find him in his luxury prison suite in Blackgate...

>>86799142
She's not really a villain. She's just a part of Arkham's scenery. She showed up in a Joker's Daughter book last time I saw her.

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>>86798939

>>86800115
Insane, yes. But he probably couldn't get away with running his "legitimate business" with a "not guilty by reason of insanity" plea. If the state Gotham is in has such a thing, he might get "guilty, but insane", in which case he'd need to go to Arkham for treatment, and once the doctors give the OK, he'd go over to Blackgate for incarceration (assuming he didn't escape first, and given we're talking about superhero comics, of course he would escape sooner or later).

>>86799361
Over time he's degraded from friendly scaly mob boss to scaly thug to big brutish thug to big brutish cannibal psycho to easily-led atoner-loner.

Bane. I need a workout buddy.

>>86800273
Harley would definitely not ACTIVELY try to kill you, but she's irresponsible as fuck and everybody that works with her ends up dying. Not to mention dealing with Joker is the worst idea.