Superman shaves his face by using his heat vision in a mirror

>>86575044
Then why doesn't Superman go bald when he gets hit with someone else's eye beams?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvkDcrbLP2s
Superman shaving in the live action series and cartoon.

Kryptonians are naturally hairless down there.

>Do they just blast all the hair off?

Yes, dumbass.

>>86575044
Red son lamps.

>>86575093
And on their armpits and legs?

>>86575085
so a mirror can defeat superman
just reflect his laser and he's dead
luther you idiot

>>86575044

Kryptonite edged razors, duh!

>>86575085
I like that it's part of the rocket.

That seems like a thing he'd keep for sentimental reasons.

>>86576551
>so a mirror can defeat superman
>just reflect his laser and he's dead
>luther you idiot
It is regularly shown that Superman's hair is weaker than his skin. So he just adjusted his heat vision to be strong enough to destroy the hair but not burn himself. This is also shown in Superman 2 film, where Superman's hair is strong but can be severed by bolt cutters. There is a limit to how strong the hairs are or he would be wearing equivalent of wire mesh on his head.

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>>86577390
What about the one holding up the weight in Superman 4? Didn't they just use like bolt cutters?

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>>86575220

Obviously they have unshaven bushes.

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>this thread
>this is the most anyone on /co/ can come up with for conversation
This is why all nerds need to be systematically hunted down and shot. You "people" are a plague on reality.

>>86577968
I mean at least it's conversation directly co related. I'll take ten of these threads over another mcu/dccu hovel of off topic shitposting

>>86577920
>PG unshaven
>With that leotard

Playing with fire

>>86577987
Oh that's a low fuckin' bar. It's better than alternate media company war shitposting. Yay.

So, if you want to have a "discussion" on /co/, you have a choice between meme spamming, dick measuring, company wars, bitching about Tumblr/SJWS, or juvenile drooling over naughty parts.

Again, nerds need to be exterminated.

>>86575044

taking this in a more interesting direction:

To take a shit, your rectum has to fill with shit to an extent where it distends the lining of the rectum.

Except obviously Superman's rectum can't be so esily distended, so has he ever pooped? Or is there an increasingly denser and denser wad of matter in rectum that'll one day self-ignite in a nuclear reaction like the sun, in what can only accurately be described as an immense solar shart?

>>86578005
Nah, it prevents rug burn.

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>>86578093
I mean, I'm not supporting the thread, but surely a dipshit troll like you who thrives off (you)'s has seen contained depravity on the internet that puts schlock like this to shame.

Of course, you can't ever admit that, because ebin rusings is way funneher xDDDD

>>86578141

It'd also dampen the unfortunate PPPPPPPPBBBBBBLLLLLTTTTTTT farting noise being produced when she flies around and her boob window acts as a ramscoop and forces air to explode out of her leotard's crotch area.

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>>86578109
He can obviously use his muscles to squeeze that shit out.

It's possible, however, that being Superman, he expels no waste, instead absorbing every aspect of food. Why wouldn't super-stomach acids be able to handle it? Alternatively perhaps his teeth just grind everything to atomic dust.

Back to OP's question, it's sort of a good point. Girls have a lot more to shave, and you would need a lot of mirrors to pounce shit off of them to get, like, the back of your thigh.

But iirc, the Super girls seem to rely on their heat vision more often than Superman.

>>86577390

You do know he can control the intensity of it and if it gets bounced back at it he can dodge it right?

I don't understand this train of thought. Why do you need to bring up Supergirl and Power Girl? Surely Superman also would have pelvic pubic hair that needs to be cleaned up occasionally and you could stick to one character for the thread.

>>86578243
Shaving Kara is my fetish

>>86578243
Nah nah nah superman has full bushy pubes. Just on the girls it looks unappealing.

>>86578216
>He can obviously use his muscles to squeeze that shit out.

Yeah but does he know he needs to? Like, has anyone ever explained to him about shitting?

>>86578243

To be fair it's a given that superman doesn't shave his dingus so that when he gets launched back in time or forward to a post-apocalyptic hellscape he can grow a beard and weave it into his pubes to create an amazing human banjo.

>>86578150
>rusing
Fuck you, I'm fucking pissed. This board is fucking pathetic, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Excuse me if I need to vent a little instead of bending over and taking the bullshit.

>>86578320
Thinking about it now, when Superman takes a turd, do you think he wipes or just erases the poop with his heat vision?

What if he gets dingleberries?

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>>86577920
>>86578005
I'm man enough to admit this is my fetish

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>>86578321
So, let's see, based on my five years of this as my home board, being present for its degradation at the hands of live action adaptations, this... This thread is what puts you over the edge?

Not /frzn/
Not fotm waifu threads
Not cheese and beefcake threads
Not /why no more skimpy costumes?/ threads
Not the trillion other "how would supers use their powers to overcome daily banalities"

But this specific one?

Christ, even if this is real just like hide the thread nigga lmao like turn around and walk the fuck away from the screen

>>86578398

I still think its weird when guys get worked against pubic hair.

>>86578297
>Just on the girls it looks unappealing.
Look at this fag.

>>86578243
I always figured Superman would be hairy. Farmer lifestyle and all.

>>86578397
He probably wipes. Even if his anus hair is like titanium, it shouldn't be too much for tp to take of. In fact, the hardiness of the hairs might make it a bit easier to wipe, since remnants would just slide off the hairs instead of sticking to them because they're malleable

>>86578479
>>86578297
No that's gross, he should still keep it neatly trimmed even if he doesn't go for a full shave

>>86578515
>Using heat vision near your dong

I'm sorry, anon. Just accept that Superman is probably a bear.

>>86575044
Kryptonians don't have pubic hair. It would get in the way of the pincers.

>>86578540
He wears a skintight suit all day. There is no way in hell he leaves that thing at its full length. That shits visible and uncomfortable in skinsuits.

>>86578543

Superman doesn't have a pincer as a dick.

What about Wonder Woman? Superbro was dating Wonder Woman. She'd not roll with the fact that he has pincers for a dick.

I assume they enjoy burning their privates with their heat vision.

>>86578699

He has chest-hair and you never see them on his suit.

Bruce's the one who's a hairless fuckboy. Clark's hairy husbando.

>>86578397
>Bruce visits Metropolis for the week and Clark insists that he stay with him and Lois
>Bruce goes to the restroom to find Clark's toilet, surrounded by mirrors

>>86578721
>Superman doesn't have a pincer as a dick.

right, he has them to either side of his Johnson, to grip the female during the mating process.

>>86578721
I don't see why Wonder Woman would have a problem with dick pincers. Considering she grew up on girls only island she might not even realize they're not supposed to be there.

>>86578740
Is Superman high test?

>>86579215

Okay, that's legit. I can see WW seein that as a the norm. Her father Zeus, after all, would become all kinds of weird shit to get his freak on.

But what about Lois?

>>86579324
Lois would definitely know they're out of place.

My question is: after being raised with a smalltown Kansas grasp of sex ed, would Clark?

>>86579324

Lois would be smart enough to know she's hit the literal jackpot. She's fucking a sun god for fuck's sake, I think she'll just roll with the pincers.

>>86579215

That means Superman set Diana's expectations for other men WAY too high.

>>86579736
>you will never grab onto Diana with your pincers while trying to impregnate her
Life is just... full of disappointments.

>>86579736

>That means Superman set Diana's expectations for other men WAY too high.

Or way too low. She must think that normal sex always hurts because FUCKING PINCERS, MAN! She must hurt as hell.

>>86579716
>Honest, Lois. I didn't think there was anything to "warn" you about. Ma and Pa always said it was different from the other boys' in gym class because I'm "uncircumcised."

>>86579840

Or Diana was so fucked up by her sex life with Superman that she got into the pain during sex.

>>86579215
She fucked Steve first

>>86579840
Well, yeah, they'll hurt if you're not gentle about it. You're only supposed to lightly grasp the female with your pincers and tighten your grip if she tries to struggle. Honestly, anon, it's like you've never had sex before.

>>86579931
See >>86579856
>Clark, something is different from when I was with Steve. Why is there..?
>I'm uncircumcised.
>Ah, yes that explains it.

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>>86578740
Hairless fuckboy you say?

>>86579936

But what when you get at those moments where's getting good and you completely lose your concentration and go at it?

>>86579936

Not to be SJW about this, but if Kryptonians have dick pincers, there must have been a fair amount of rape in the evolution of the species.

>>86580001

The scars robbed him of his glorious chest-hair.

Truly a sad tale. Now Batman's scarred hairless fuckboy.

>>86579992

She and Steve only held hands and ate ice-cream.

That's why Steve never got over what happened between them. Now WW is a pincers-only kind of woman.

>>86580022
Then she's going to have a lot more to worry about than being pinched, if she's human and you're kryptonian. Wonder Woman would probably survive, though.

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>>86580001

>>86580035
Not much different from any other sex having species then, really.

>>86580080

But it would hurt, right?

Wait, why would they have a lot more to worry than just the pincers? Is there something else going on during those moments?

>>86578216
>you would need a lot of mirrors to pounce shit off
two is officially alot

>>86580112

Human sex isn't that rape-y, though Ri-right..?

>>86580128
super strength level pelvis pulverizing

>>86580133

If you've less than three mirrors in your bathroom you're a dirty poor dishit.

>>86580143
Son, have you never opened a history book?

>>86580145

Does Superman have a barbed dick as well? Like, once inside it can cut if taken out before the proper time because the head acts pretty much like a harpon. Or would those be over-kill along with the pincers?

>>86575044
Is Supergirl's clit supersensitive of numb?

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>>86578243
Because you fag

>>86580199
Overkill.

>>86577829
Would she even need to brush her teeth?
Maybe just for fresh breath, but I doubt earth food could cause gingivitis and enamel decay in a Kryptonian

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>>86580199

BEHOLD!

>>86575083
Not super concentrated.

>>86580256

It's a goddamn shame humans don't stop aging after 25. We could all be young and hot forever.

http://desuarchive.org/co/thread/76804316/

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>>86575083
he do.

>>86577390
>>86576551
also he can adjust the intensity and focus of the laser

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>>86578721
>>86578543
>>86578828

>>86580673
Why is lex luthor(?) one of the three stooges?

>>86578204
That is fucking hilarious.

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>>86575044
I'm now picturing PG carefully trying to tilt a mirror so her heat-vision lasers bounce off at the right angle to singe off her pubes without the angle being sharp enough for the beams to graze her nipples.

>>86577968
>nerds

Did you somehow stumble onto 4chan off of the Oprah Winfrey show? Go get hammered and watch the game. Maybe post about the former on Facebook.

>>86582599
multiple mirrors obviously

>>86580035
There's a fair amount of rape in the evolution of most species.

Hell, isn't rape kind of the default

I imagine they have a mirrored tube they step in kind of like two inverted convenience store mirrors welded together with an absorbent material at the top and bottom. They just fire a wide blast into it which bounces around the mirrors and burns off every hair they have down there. Foil hair and eyebrow caps and boom. Superhero shaving station and reasonable presumption that the super-folks are all smooth. Everywhere.

Normal mirrors aren't angled right for that shit. I'm imagining some shit like Flyclop's jetpack.

>>86580143
>>86583333
Sexual consent is a social construct.
>>86583395
I don't quite understand what you're describing. Maybe draw a picture?

>>86583710
Think of a giant hollow mirrored tube that Supergirl gets in. Before she does she puts her hair up in a towel made of reflective foil to keep from going bald as well as affixing strips of said foil to her eyebrows. She gets in the mirrored tube, seals it so she doesn't melt her ceiling or floor, and then blasts the mirrored tube interior with heat vision, allowing her 360 degrees of hair removal. True, she could use foil if she wanted to keep some bush, but otherwise she'd be glass smooth almost instantly.

>>86577829
>That fucking shaving cream.

And its not because she assuming a human identity, shes using it.

>>86584094
do you think she knows better? you use shaving cream before you shave your legs, even if its heat vision.

>>86575044
>How do Power Girl and Supergirl keep their bushes trimmed?
Kryptonians have no body hair

>>86584094
Just because their skin is mostly impervious to damage doesn't mean it doesn't get dry.

rip and tear

>>86580291
Why do people ask a question then immediately answer their own question?

Does Superman have body hair?

>>86578397
>>86578482

No wait, he can super-vibrate can't he? So he probably just floats in such a fashion that his ass is as much in the bowl as possible, spreads his cheeks and vibrates until it all just falls off.