I've run out of ideas on how to catch the Hulk. Give

>>85655527
Get some Hulk chow and make a rope trap.

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>>85655527

Oh, don't worry. I've already taken care of that for you.

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Call him a faggot on the other side of a volcano, when he jump for you, shot him with a tonk, knocking him into the lava. Then, freeze the magma with liquid nitrogen leaving only his hand out. Proceed to call him a faggot again. Take blood samples. Fuck yeah, america.

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>>85655527

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>>85655527

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>>85655527
If we built this large, wooden badger...

>>85655784
RUN AWAY

>>85655527
Try talking to him, maybe he's just acting out because he likes you?

>>85655527
Do some shrooms and get in a sensory deprivation tank

Suck Bruce's dick, then theirs no way he could get angry. Infact you shouls build giant sex machines for The Hulk, so then when he calms down via orgasm, you can capture the post-transformation delirious Banner.

Seduce him

>>85655527
How about you leave him the fuck alone?

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>>85655527
Bugs Bunny it.
Steal your daughter's clothes and a wig, get a porn sized barrel of lube, and seduce the Hulk.

>>85655921
He also turn green from sex. Do your research.

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Have you tried, not being a Hulk?

>>85655527
Jump off a building. He'll come flying in to save you

It's simple. We rape the Hulk.

>>85655527
you know how shit always hits the fan when you make the Hulk angry? Try do the opposite. Make him sad, tell him a sob story or something like that.

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Have you considered baiting him with clowns?

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>>85656274
I disagree with this plan.

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>>85655818
UNDERRATED POST.

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>>85655527
Take off the green screen

Get his friend to depower him and then get his other friend to shoot him with an arrow.

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>>85655527
Throw a rock at him

>>85655527
Have you tried asking nicely?

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>>85656301

Shut the Hell up Bruce! If I wanted your worthless opinion I would piss on the grave of your parents.

Dammit! One way or another I'm going to see the Joker forced to superhero schlong up those creamy, white buttcheeks of his.

Thought Batman would have done it when I invited the Joker to my apartment but all that got me was a crippled daughter. Well at least The Joker didn't cut her tongue out. Yeah baby, daddy might need a tongue lashing after this.

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>>85658658

Using telekinesis or something, lift him off the ground. High enough that he can't reach the ground with his feet, hands, whatever. Obviously make sure you are in an open space, no walls or ceilings or anything to push off of, grab, or hit. Keep him there.

Ta da...

>>85660114
And that telekinetic would need to pay 100% attention at all times never eating or sleeping.

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Have you tried shooting an arrow at him?

Haha. Just kidding. Nobody would be that stupid.

>>85660224
How many fucking telekinetics are there in the marvel verse? They can take fucking shifts until one of the dozen technology super-geniuses can bring over their antigrav machine or telekinesis-ray.

>>85660262
>Asks for a friend to kill him if he go apeshit
>Don't leave proof whatsoever of this pact to help Hawkeye with the jury

Banner is a jerk

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Send him to the Phantom Zone. Send everyone to the Phantom Zone.

>>85655527

ANTI-HULK ARROW

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anger management

>>85660357
Dude, the Phantom Zone is not a trashcan. We can't solve our problems by throwing them into some zone.

>>85660114
He'd somehow be too strong for the telekinetic to be able to keep his arms immobile without the telekinetic prying their own brain out of their skulls.

Which means the hulk would just do a sonic clap to knock the telekinetic out.

>>85655527
put candy under a rock

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Have Umar fuck his brains out.

>>85660343
To be fair he expected him to shoot him when he was going ape shit. Not shoot him when he was getting understandably upset in his human form

>>85655527
Have you considered getting a really big glue trap and luring him into it?

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>>85660537
But anon... Above natural eyesight

>>85660411
You don't need to keep his arms immobile. Any part of him can move as much as he it wants. You're just levitating him in the air.

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>>85660822
Did you just stop reading the post half-way through? If you're not keeping him completely rigid with your telekinesis he'll sonic clap your ass to the ground and escape while you're unfocused. Unless you've found one of the rare telekinetic people who can do it from such a range that he can't get them with a sonic clap, who are rare.

>>85660917
Okay, new plan. Telekinetic levitation while in a vacuum. It's more complicated, but doable.

send the planet into a black hole, he'd never expect it

or just eat him

>>85655527
Shoot Banner in the head when he's asleep. If he's not the Hulk he's not invulnerable.

>>85661409
Oh how I long for the days when this was true.

>>85655527
Have we tried asking him nicely yet?

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>>85655527
Spoon him into submission.

catching him isnt the problem is it ross
you catch him all the fucking time
you just cant stop him leaving
the thing to do is get him to want to stay
so the question is... how do you make a hulk want to stay...

general, the answer is simple
a trap trap
dig a pit, spraypaint some traps green and throw them in there

the only drawback to this plan is disposing of the anally ravaged trap corpses - hulk sperm is highly radioactive - but you take all the dirt used to dig the trap hole and you just dump them on the glowing fetid carcasses

this plan, general, is fool proof and its all yours for the cost of only a can of green spray paint and some deviants

what say you?

deal?

>>85660410
Sure we can! And if it creates more problems we will just throw THOSE into the phantom zone too!

You should try turning yourself into a Hulk and beating him and everyone else up.

BIG
ROUND
TITTYS

>>85658616
Dont be absurd hawkeye would be one of the heros least willing to kill him.

>>85655527
A Hulk-sized bowl of ice cream with a Hulk-sized fistful of downers mixed in.

>>85655527
Tell him to cut that out.

>>85660537
Anon the whole thing was stupid because hawkeye never would have agreed to kill him much less go through with it but he was hulking out his eyes were changing.

>>85664160
Sometimes it seems like bendis just randomly chooses what heros to be affected by something.

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>>85655527

Blow a bong hit into his face

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>>85655743
or you could use his hand to jack you off then call him a faggot for jacking off another dude. win win.

>>85655527
You need to become a second hulk and have your books sell well enough to warrant the other hulk's cancellation.

Soon you'll be the only hulk, and after a few years people will see you as the main hulk and him as a cheap ripoff.

>>85656129
When he banged umar(?) he turned back to Bruce after ejaculating and couldn't hulk up again

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>>85655527
Some rock, not just some rock but a gamma absorbing rock. It saps him of his power and soon the hulk will beup against the wall

>>85655818
So basically every episode of fringe?

>>85656151
Have you tried not being a bitch mom?

>>85658803
>schlong up those creamy, white buttcheeks of his.
You've been thinking about this too much Gordon

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>>85658659
>>85655810
What are you gay?

>>85655527
Make a giant mousetrap and bait it with a giant slab of cheese

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Use a disk.

Send him into space. What could go wrong?

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Well once you do catch him throw him down here with megatron.

>>85660410
That's the kind of talk that'll get you thrown into the Phantom Zone!

>>85655527
Why don't you hire him?

The man's a scientist when he's not big and green. Have him in your employ. Keep him calm unless you want something major punched, then rile him up and point him in the right direction.