>go to my bank to cash my paycheck >teller comments on

Any girl I dated when I show them comics that they would never think exist, like DEMO or East of West, Black Science, Deadly Class, and even SAGA and Young Avengers. They always end up really digging them. A few years ago (wow can't believe how long it's been) this girl ate all of hickman's avengers in a weekend, and was really into it. We broke up before Secret Wars, I wonder if she kept up with it.

I know a few of my exes kept collecting after we broke up. Aquaman and Batwoman have become favorites to a few people because of some of y recommends. Also Azz's Wonder Woman vol. 1 was a gift for this girl I was kinda wooing and she loved it more than anything else I bought or got her after (like mixes or little gifts), which also made me feel dope.

Also recommended Enigma for my clerk at my LCS and he has not stopped thanking me since.

ITT: Stories that never actually happened.

File: 1471057479657.jpg (9KB, 184x184px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 184x184px

>>85437201
Am I wrong?

>Sitting in the bank trying to stay awake until the end of my shift
>Some kid is wearing an edgy 90's Spider-Man shirt, so I try to be nice so he doesn't shoot up the bank
>He keeps mentioning suicide something to me and I smile and nod
>Starts talking about kids books
>Try to pretend I'm dark and creepy like him
>It works. He's talking about a vision he has.
>At this point I'm terrified and he can tell the fear on my face.
>He reaches for his pocket and I prepare to run for my life.
>I make up some shit about his grim anime book.
>He forces me to read more.
>I need to get the fuck out now. He's giving me this weird look and he keeps saying he's funny, wickid and has a nihilistic sense of humour.
>I slowly raise my head to him so he doesn't get startled.
>For some reason he nods at me like an ape.
>I skip the usual procedure and just give him the cash so he gets the fuck away. I mumble something under my breath resembling thank you but at this point I'm so nervous nothing comes out.
>Skip to a week later
>I'm doing my last shift after suffering through that horrible experience. He's back and he's wearing a diaper and a long black trench coat. I tell everyone I have experience with him and I'll take him.
>I phone the police as he babbles on about his dark anime book again.

>>85436852
>have Venom shirt
>wear it every other day
>nobody talks to me
>remember it's because I'm ugly as sin

Bless you, Op, you live a nice life.

>>85437501
>See a cutie walking outside with a venom shirt
>He wears it every other day.
>I want to talk to him, but I'm nervous.
>He's incredibly handsome too so he probably won't like me.

No! You should talk to people homie! You handsome devil, you!

>>85437401
You actually are wrong though.

This might not be as funny as it was to me.

> second week working at a family photo studio.
> stormy weather coming
> 9 o clock appointment comes in despite this, 8 year old red haired boy and grandmother. >Grandma has an accent and doesnt look head on when checking in.
> Kid starts acting like a little shit.
> the storm seems to get worse the more he cuts up.
> My imagination starts getting the better of me.
> Grandmother says "Cut that shit out, Loki." right at a crack of thunder.
> Can't help myself: "His name's Loki?"
> Grandma turns to face me, one eye is caked over with scar tissue and she grins.
> "Wanted to name him something unique."
> Boss wonders why I'm chuckling to myself the whole session.

>>85437038
Maybe you should just stop dating and open up a comic shop.

>>85438451
Oh, great, Odin had a sex change operation.

>>85437501
I can relate to this on a spiritual level. Venom shirt and all.

It's gray with venom's face saying 'villain' on it.