>live in Gotham >wake up, go to shower >door chained

>>84846101

Rent's cheap, but insurance is hell.

>>84846101
At least Wayne gives you good benefits, Luthor makes you freaking drive yourself to the hospital.

>considering Metropolis
What are ya, some kind of hippie faggot?

>live in Hub City
>blast niggers all day
>I'm an accountant
I don't even belong to a criminal organization, or any other shady group, I just get caught in multiple muggings going to and from work, and at least five people try to hold up the fucking office building every week. This city fucking sucks.

>>84846224
>Rent's cheap
Can't beat Gotham for cheap rent. I mean you'd have to be pretty desperate to live there, but, I mean, a lot of people there are.

>>84846101
Seriously, I have no idea where Wayne keeps getting all these contracts from. Bat-shaped remote-controlled grenades, a bat-shaped deep-sea-diving suit, a tank shaped like a giant bat... I mean, I like the guy and all but does anyone else get the impression that he's not quite right in the head?

>>84846735
Nigga, half of Gotham is literally just abandoned warehouses. I haven't paid a dime of rent in like three years.

Kicker is that sometimes you'll hear crazed laughter and have to haul ass someplace else.

>>84846101
Your breath, nigga.

>"What's light as a feather but can't be held for long?"

A flame?

>>84846101
>>84846873
It's obviously breath.

>>84846873
Breath?

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>live in Central City
>everything is alright

>mcu new york
>home in Harlem destroy by green blobs
> going to work some retard tall blonde guy middle talking to edgelord black guy with a eye patch
>new house gets attack by giant alien fish
>in Florida vacation attack my Mr america iron suit
>move to hell kitchen fucking neighbors fuck too loud shakes the building
>find ninja stars all over my tires
>in DC for business car destroyed
>in new York again stupid bug boy broke my car.

Beats living alone in Mars for more than a century.

>>84846101
Just go to Burnside, it has some budding tech companies. We still get some shit from capes but nothing as bad as Gotham and Metropolis. The only downside are the hipster faggots.

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>>84846101

Guys I'm really scared. There's a goddamn alligator in my bathtub. I would tell him o pay rent since he's been here for a week but I don't want to get eaten so I blocked off the door.

>>84848067
>saw one of the Rogues give a kid a lollipop when he thought no one was looking

Central City is best city

I just moved to Gotham from bludhaven
I don't see what the complaints are about, this place is super nice
I love it here

>>84848509
Dude it's Croc,he's just a nigger with a skin condition

>>84848902
Didn't your town get nuked? How are you alive?

>>84848959
did bludhaven really get nuked? When? What a waste of a nuke

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>>84849373

>>84849373
It was from around Infinite Crisis. They milked it for a fairly long time, literally right up until Final Crisis.

>>84848509
I hear he can actually be a pretty cool dude so long as you dont treat him badly and give him lots of meat

Come to Astro City OP. It's a great place. We get all that weird shit too, but there's something different about it. It's not so depressing.

>>84846823
>>84847023
>>84847025
a feather is much much heavier than a breath

>>84846101
This story is fake. All the villains are in prison right now.

>>84850226
Nah, that was half an hour ago, like 20 of them already broke out.

>>84850309
Bane?

>>84850126
Holy shit, its almost like Eddie Nygma isn't as smart as he thinks.

>move to metropolis
>die

>>84850333
No, the arkham staff just forgot to close the cell doors again.

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>>84848067
>move to Central City suburb
>Flash keeps cutting everyone's lawn every 2 weeks in a 200 mile radius
>bought sick ass zero turn mower right before I moved
>haven't been able to run it once

You could always go live in Coast City. Half the buildings are empty so rent is cheap as shit(I'm in a penthouse and paying as much as I would for a 2/1). Sure some yellow skinned bald space faggot and a half robot blew up the entire city a few years back, but what are the chances of that ever happening again?

>>84850644
MEANWHILE BARRELING TOWARDS EARTH

>>84850644
Seems like a plan, I heard that a green lanterns' home is that and I mean hes a GL surely that won't attract MORE threats right?

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>this thread

>>84850632
Just put a sign for him, I'm sure he will be glad to let you use your mower. And maybe a burger for all his trouble, you know, for trimming shit.

>>84846101
Honestly Metropolis isn't that much better. I mean, sure, it looks pretty and all but have you seen how often Superman ducking wrecks everything when he fights anyone? I've had to relocate three times in the last 6 months. Im thinking about movie to Star City, at least the Flash cuts people lawns.

>>84848067
>>84848547
>>84850632
>>84850831
>Be me
>Move to Central City from Australia-
I think you can guess who I met.
>Long story short, for a few weeks I was drinking buddies with Captain Boomerang, nothing illegal, he just helped me find a place where I could get a decent beer
>We both hit the drinks a little too hard one night because Flash has to take us to a precinct to sober up, no big deal
>When I finally pass out and wake up, Captain Boomerang's gone and the police tell me some bitch named Waller basically fucked his constitutional rights over (I thought this was fucking America)
>Flash has no clue what's going on either but says a few other JL members are noticing their own rogue's gallery members missing, Batman says he hasn't seen Harley in either Arkham or with Joker

Should... Should I be worried? Has my best mate been put before the firing squad or some shit?

>>84849373
It's cool, the nuke was reusable.

>>84851055
Ya but he doesn't sharpen the blade ever and leaves tall patches all over.

>>84851055
Don't you mean Central City?

Hey, I just got out of the henching game (for the riddler btw) and have been looking to settle down some place I can go straight.
any suggestions?

>>84846746
Guy disappeared for years after he watched his parents die, and I don't blame him. Almost a miracle he's as put together as he is. A bit on the whimsical side, but he runs a good company otherwise.

It could be much worse. Traumas like that can really fuck a dude up, make them super obsessive and anti-social. It's rather heartening that he got through it so well and went on to take care of the family business like he has.

>>84846606
>Hub City
Someone post the scan of the hobo asking for money with the dead baby

Man I tell ya, Opal is one helluva city. Lots of kooky shops, art galleries, old style movie theaters. And there's almost no action as far as capes go.
Yeah once in a while that archer dude with a hate boner for that faggot English guy with the shadow powers duke it out, but otherwise it's pretty peaceful.

But one thing. You HAVE to like living in the city. There's absolutely NO SUBURBS. Seriously. You cross Broome Ave, and you go right from a street full of shops to fields and dirt roads. Weirdest damn thing I ever saw. Except some of the freaks out in Turk County.

Anyone else live in Fawcett? Honestly, it's a much nicer place than Central City or Metropolis.

>>84851570

I worked for a guy called Ted Kord once. Nice guy. Actually wrote me a really good reference that got me into STAR Labs.
I read up about what happened to him in the Daily Planet, man that was a kick in the teeth. Could not have happened to a less deserving guy.

>>84850126
Nah bro it's called HEAVY breathing for a reason.

>>84846823
Yeah, goddamn stupid ass bitch nigga, nigga can't even solve a muhfuckin' riddle

>Move to National City
>Can't stop jerking off

I wonder how many people are like me and if she can hear us

>>84851130
Nah. I don't know who this "Waller" you're talking about is, but knowing our lovely penal system, our dear ol' Uncle Sam's probably got your drinking buddy doing some wet work for him. I mean, why execute someone as talented as Captain fucking Boomerang when they can make him topple dictators and fight terrorists, and shit like that (and probably get him killed in the process)?

>>84851404
Try applying for a job with one of Wayne's companies. Even if you'll only qualify for janitorial work, way I hear it, he's remarkably tolerant of ex-cons provided you don't try to hide it or go back to a life of crime, and the pay and benefits are way better than your question-mark-fetish friend's. Better than I expected coming from someone with a childhood as fucked up as his; I was so sure he was the Bat for a while, but the longer he's been back home, the more he seems like the type to give criminals legitimate, legal work rather than cave their faces in.

>>84851055
Could be worse. At least Superman is willing to help clean up afterward. IIRC, he and that rich bastard, Luthor both called out the Superkid (or whatever his name is) for not helping clean up the scene of one super-fight.

>>84846746
I'm willing to bet he's making that stuff on commission for the Batman. After all, who else would possibly want this bat-shaped shit? The military? Only problem is, how's the Bat paying for all that? Does he even have a credit card?

Either that, or he's a big fan of the Bat. Like, the really obsessed and weird kind. Still, his money's green, and he rakes in a lot of it regardless.

People made a lot of fuss about Coast City being magically rebuilt, but it's mostly full of hobos and illegal immigrants.

I've heard good things about a Kahndaqi restaurant near Grant Park - something like Teth-Adam's? Anyone know anything about it?

>>84853355
Get the rolls. Don't try the shwarma
It's not the best you can get for your dollar, but good enough if you got the munchies for it

>Woke up this morning
>walked out into the living room
> a letter from my neighbor explaining he's gonna be gone for a while and he'll miss my company, jumbled together with a bunch of weird Alice in Wonderland references.

Man, Jervis is a bit of a weirdo.

>>84853070

Isn't that the place that got trashed by that Cyborg Superman? Man that was a confusing time.
The big guy dies and all of sudden everybodies got an S on their chest and calling themselves the next Superman.

Then the real superman comes back from the dead? Or something? I really wish that we'd gotten a clear answer on what the hell that was all about.

Meanwhile, the first Green Lantern dies in Coast City I guess, cos we never saw him afterwards. Nobody even holds a funeral.

>>84853600
>get new neighbor called joe
>joe is a really nice guy, really normal, maybe a bit closeted
>he finds a nice wife
>get invited to his wedding
>everyone's waiting
>he disappears without, never to be heard from again
I think he was deported, had some Eastern European sounding name like Krer or Kerr or some shit.

>decide to visit this little known burg New York City
>dude with a fucking skull on his chest shoots me in the kneecap because I lit up a joint on the sidewalk

worst I ever got before was Superman shaking his head at me, fuck any city other than Metropolis

>>84855159
You had it coming.

>>84855333
>>84855333
trips confirms

Gotham-fag here. Too poor to move, thinking about joining up with one of the gangs. Heard Penguin has some pretty good benefits and pays well.

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>>84858347
Join Gotham PD, it could be fun!

>>84848547

Opal City, motherfuckers.

Nobody has class like this city.

>>84846823
>>84852986
It sounds like Riddler took a massive dump in your bathroom and did you a solid by locking it.

>>84858526

The pay's terrible, but luckily all those kickbacks and bribes add up. Endgame there is to keep your head down, take the money when it's offerred and look to transfer out to a nicer city.
Just remember, what works in Gotham sometimes only works in Gotham. Metro PD kinda doesn't like it when you take a little on the side from Intergang to look the other way. Whereas in Gotham it's kind of assumed.

>Bane's goons stored some of his venom tanks in my storage units before I took inventory
>Now in 5 hour questioning session with the CIA

>>84859689

Have they asked about why he wears a mask yet? I love that part.

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>live in River City
>our only superhero dresses like a fucking nut (pic related)
I guess I can't complain because there's not so much super-crime here.

>Antine else get that crazy feeling that they've lost a significant portion of their lives thanks to a floating naked blue man? Or is it just me?

>>84860556

Sounds like the punchline to a joke that only the most diehard Comedian would tell.

>>84848067
Was feeling depressed and made no effort to hide it. Flash ran by and told me I was looking sharp. Made my day!