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>I think you misunderstood the concept of "Bendering

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Thread replies: 503
Thread images: 63

>I think you misunderstood the concept of "Bendering Time".

Best Futurama Quotes thread.
>>
Curse you, merciful Poseidon!
>>
>>84569766
We are not amused
>>
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>We seem to be experiencing technical difficulties... and crap like I've never seen.
>>
>What seems to be the problem?
>Well, my lead pipe hurts a little.
>That's normal, next patient!
>>
>Fry, acting like a moron won't solve anything!
>Then all hope is lost!
>>
>Like putting air in a balloon, and then.. something bad happens!
>>
Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.
>>
>And then all the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... checkmate!
>>
>Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
>SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT!!
>>
>>84569766
>Damn it, you win again Gravity
>>
>Doh is she behind me?
>No, i'm in front of you
>>
>It's like that time Muhammad Ali fought that giant robot. Now, my memory's a bit hazy, but I believe the the whole Earth was destroyed.
>Interesting, if true.
>>
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>GOD, BUDDA, ALLAH, SOMEONE. SATAN YOU OWE ME
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>Stop exploding, you cowards!
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>People said I was dumb but I proved them
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If I though i had to live a whole other life Id kill myself right now!
>>
>>84570541
this is my all time favorite
>>
>If anyone needs me I'll be in the angry dome!
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>Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it. On my command all ships will line up and file directly into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage!
>>
>>84570599
>And Fry, you've got that brain thing.
>I already did!
>>
>I say, your three cent titanium tax goes too far!
>And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough!
>>
>We've all seen too many body bags and ball sacks.
>>
>>84569766

>"I am the man with no name... Zapp Brannigan, at your service!"

>>84570494

>"This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973, when Ali faced an 80-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory's not what it used to be, but I believe the entire Earth was destroyed."
>"interesting, if true."
>>
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Godfellas had so many.

>Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.

>Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money.

>Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
>>
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>"Yes, but they won't listen! Everybody's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a Great White Shark - O~ooh, suddenly you've gone too far."

>"Alright... It's Saturday night, I have no date, a 2-Liter bottle of Shasta and my All-Rush mixtape. Let's rock."
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>>84571622
Anyone else ever use the second quote when about to begin some weekend gaming?
>>
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Also he's a robot!
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SCOOTY PUFF JR SUUUUUUUUCKS!
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>What killed the dinosaurs
>ME!
>>
Aww... Chester A. Arthur fall down.
>>
So the orgy is Cancelled?
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>THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN
>I AM THE GREETIST
>NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISIN
>>
>>84569766

> Good job Fry! Now all the other planets are going to be cracking wise about our mamas!

> I'm just glad my fat ugly mother didn't live to see this day.

> Enough about your promiscuous mother Hermes!
>>
>>84571729
That would imply we had someone to say it to.
>>
>Wiggles, weren't you about to propose a toast to your gallant captain?
>Fine, I've got a toast. To Captain Bender, he's the best... at being a big jerk who's stupid and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!
>Eh, I've heard better.
>>
>>84572151
You're talking to yourself right now. Everyone here is a bot.
>>
how about these cookies sugar
>>
>>84571192
>tfw Godfellas was more influential in developing your theology than you care to admit

Damn good episode.
>>
"Nine, ten, a big fat hen, the name's Bender"
>>
>PROFESSOR! LAVA! HOT!!!
>>
>Fire indeed hot!
>>
>When I'm in command, every mission is a suicide mission.

>What makes a man turn neutral?

>One day a man has everything. The next day he blows up a 400 billion dollar space station. And the next day he has nothing. Really makes you think.

Zap is the best character on the show.
>>
>Isn't that the same machine that makes noses?
>It can do other things! Why shouldn't it?!

>Now now, perfectly symmetrical violence won't solve anything
>>
>Look, it's not the food that's important...
>I'm so hungry.

>He may have ocean madness, but that's no excuse for ocean rudeness!

>What's that?
>It appears to be the alien mothership
>Then what did we just blow up?
>...The Hubble Space Telescope

>I was all of history's great acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespo-mat, David Duchovny!
>>
>My god! That's over 300 atmospheres of pressure!
>How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?
>Well it's a spaceship, so anywhere between zero and one.
>>
>>84574582
>He may have ocean madness, but that's no excuse for ocean rudeness!

I never figured out if that comment was directed at Fry for storming out or at Leela for mocking and teasing him.
>>
>>84571969
I swear I default to saying "for no raisin" a bit too much

>I'M BACK BABY
>>
>>84572139
Another similar riff on that joke.

>Leela 1: Hermes, aren't you curious about the fact that there's two of everybody?

>Hermes 1: No. Now like my granny used to say back in her tarpaper shack on Montego Bay, "If you want a box hurled into the sun, you got to do it yourself."

>Farnsworth 1: Your granny can go to hell!
>>
>>84572419
That has stuck with me for years
>>
With my mighty robot powers, I can get sick of things much quicker than you humans.
>>
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>WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.
>>
>Get a room you two!
>We're in a room!
>Well then lose some weight!

>Too late do I realize that me children are me only real treasures.

>I need plenty of wholesome nutritious alcohol. The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged.
>What are the cigars for?
>They make me look cool.

>Why!?—Why!?—Why didn't I break his legs!?
>>
>>84571192
When I was a kid, I used the "Do things right, people wont be sure" line on my Rabbi when I was a kid, and I think he liked it. I had completely forgotten the lines around it
>>
>I'm sorry Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
>Oh. What's it called now?
>Urectum.
>>
>I was going to eat that mummy.
>>
I'd rather stay home and make out with my Monroebot.
>>
Help! Satan! YOU OWE ME!
>>
Hmm. Yes, this is the one. Definitely. I recognize her slumping posture and hairy knuckles.
>>
>>84572325
I really liked Lethal Inspection for similar reasons as it was a "road" episode that was simultaneously about having beef with a parental figure as well as looking for a higher phantom power that has seemingly wronged you after it appeared to be in your corner for your entire life.

Bender finds out that he's deeply flawed about something he believed himself perfect in (his mortality) and he attempts to revengify himself on the entity that let it happen when he's just secretly despondent that there's no way to fix what's broken about him.
>>
Fuck, i love this show so much.

The jokes are kind of hit and miss, but when they hit, they really do. Not to mention the feelsy moments which are just as good as the comedy. I'm glad the show had a timely end, instead of being a living zombie like The Simpsons.
>>
>>84571729
In a different imageboard, years ago, we had the tradition of posting that picture as the OP. Everyone then posted their plans for saturday night.
Simpler times.
>>
>Look, no one likes shooting penguins. But if you have to, might as well enjoy it!

>Oh crap, she's standing right behind me, isn't she?
>No, I'm standing right in FRONT of you.

>Help! It's like movie about that drug trip I saw when I was on that drug trip!

>What tastes like blue?
>>
>>84569766
>That just raises further questions!
>>
>>84569766
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXXiWgw9K9k
>>
>>84571192
>"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all"

One of the only reasons I still believe in God, desu senpai.
>>
>>84579081
*desu senpai

What the fuck, autocorrect?
>>
>>84578741
>Why don't you tell it to Wingus and Dingus here?
>Wingus, Dingus, listen up.
>>
>This Poppler called me mama.
>Maybe it learned to talk as a parlor trick, like Fry.
>Like Fry, Like Fry!
>>
They crank called us to deliver a pizza to Dogdoo 8, but the universe ends right after Dogdoo 7.
>>
>A good way to prevent frostbite, just put your hands between your buttocks. That's nature's pocket.

>>84574996
I think its directed at Fry.
>>
>>84571622
The phrase, "all Rush mixtape" gets me every time.
>>
>>84574479
I don't remember the exact quote, but the way the professor describes the beeps, and Fry's escalating disappointment, fucking slays me.
>>
>>84569766
>WITH MY LAST BREATH I CURSE ZOIDBERG!
>>
>"I'm literally angry with rage!"
>>
>Like I give a shit. My life is insured.

>zoidberg's autopsy
>Hey! Don't touch that, I need that for speaking!
>*sawing intensifies*
>>
>>84570599
>>84570798
>"I heard alcohol makes you stupid"
>"No I'm doesn't"
>>
>>84571902
>>84571969
great episode
"Ow! Fire hot!"
"The professy will help. AHH! ...fire indeed hot"
>>
Leela A: This is getting confusing. Why don't we call our universe "Universe A" and this universe "Universe B"?

Bender 1: Hey! Why can't we be Universe A?

Fry A: We called it first. Besides, this place kinda feels like a "B", y'know?

Leela 1: Alright, you can be crummy Universe A and we'll be Universe 1.

Fry 1: Or "The Mongooses". That's a cool team name. The Fighting Mongooses!
>>
>>84571969
I think my favorite part of that line is how even the voice actor seems to be struggling with the lines
>>
Not a line, but in 300 Big Boys after Fry goes Speedforce and nods at the hummingbird. That sequence will be burnt into my brain until I die.

>REMEMBER ME!
>>
>TV audiences don't want anything original, they wanna see the same stuff they've seen a hundred times before
>Whatchu talkin' bout Fry?
>>
>But existing is basically all I do!
>>
>Give me back my hands!
>No!
>YOU'RE NOT NICE!
>>
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>NIXON'S BAAAAAACK!

>harooo.
>>
>>84579369
>"You can't just have your characters say how they feel! THAT MAKES ME ANGRY!"
>>
>>84571192
>When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
Regardless of one's faith or lack thereof, this is a commandment to fucking live by.
>>
>>84579096
f a m autocorrects to senpai now.
>>
>>84571192
"yes, i saw that. you were doing well until everyone died"

>>84579390
"im gonna go join the reform party!"
what did they mean by this?
>>
>>84579981
>Oh a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm my own Grandpa!
>>
>>84579981
>"im gonna go join the reform party!"
In America it's considered stupid to join or vote for a third party, because you'll take your vote away from one of the two big ones. Think Ross Perot.
>>
>He wasn't an astronaut, he was a TV comedian! And he was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife!
>>
>Oh to be young again, and also a robot!
>>
>Stop! No shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
>Spare me your space-age technobabble Attila the Hun!
>>
>>84572198
Don't be silly anon captcha protects us
>>
>a drop of la barbara's spicy curried goat falls through several layers of the planet until it gets to robot hell
>robot devil enjoying a hot beverage: "ahh..... fire"
>curry drop falls on his head
>"AHHH FIRE!!"
>>
Been over for a few years now
>Still no copy of Zapp Branigan's Big Book of War
>>
>Kif, I've made it with a woman. Inform the men.
>>
>"I am the proud shepherd of this flock of sharks"
>"Don't you worry about Planet Express, let me worry about blank"
>>
>>84575055
Hermes A: It's like granny used to always say, "If you want a box hurled into the sun, you got to do it yourself."
>Dramatic music
"God rest her zombie bones..."
>>
>>84579432
When I play with my buddies online we often call ourselves the fighting mongooses
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>>84579789
Testing senpai
>>
Fry
>come on Professor let me play, I want to show Leela my skills
Professor
>Will said skills pay the bills?
>>
>>84580135
>Real Holographic Evil Simulated Lincoln is BACK!
>>
>>84580215
Read any 40k fiction related to the Imperial Guard.
>>
>>84579370
>*sawing intensifies*
That part gets me every time. Hell, just thinking about it gets me
>>
>>84579370
>>84580512
Just reminded me, this is definitely in my top 5 somewhere. Fantastic episode.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jzdylh0vz-U
>>
>"Shut up baby, I know it!"
>>
>To shreds you say
>>
>"This Concept Of 'Wuv' Confused And Infuriates Us!"

>"Oh wait, you're serious, let me laugh even harder!"
>>
>THIS DOES NOT FEMPUTE!
>>
>"Mumbo - Perhaps... Jumbo? PERHAPS NOT!!!"<

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/4f/4f1d08fcb58ae4e58ff397208614fbdb6640ad63764d87fb45003f1e271531be.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWRykybDpYA
>>
>>84579370
>"Contents of stomach: One deviled egg."
>"Deviled egg? Omnomnom!"
>"The SAME deviled egg."
>>
>Bender, think of the señoritas!
[musical chord]
>Vámonos!
>>
>Have you ever tried turning off the tv, sitting down with your children...and hitting them?
>>
>my only regret... is that I have... bonitis...
>>
>>84572599
My all time favorite quote. But, as is often the case with this show, I found it funnier than maybe I should, while everyone I know thinks I'm nuts for finding the show funny at all. Oh well.

Though I have to say that the fact that 99% of the quotes in this thread are from the first 3-4 seasons makes me very happy. Yet doesn't surprise me in the slightest.
>>
>>84574779
That always bothered me, because every single planet they ever visited would have to have normal earth gravity, even though they varied greatly in size. Also, they visited a planet with super gravity, and no one mentioned the ship only being able to handle one G. ALSO, the fact that that if it could only handle one G, then flying as fast as it does would have ripped it to shreds.

And yes, I'm such a fucking autist that I actually think about real world physics when watching an animated TV show. Hell, I was bothered by the ID4 sequel, because a space ship THAT huge would have likely altered the earth's rotation and orbit greatly, yet had no effect at all. Not to mention that it's "landing" would have likely dig it's feet hundreds of feet into the ground, (if not more) and the ship would also have been crushed under it's own weight once it landed.

But anyway...
>>
>>84581152
After the first cancellation they lost a lot of the good writers to American Dad. Mysteriously, the quality of that show went up around about the same time. To this day no-one quite knows why.
>>
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>And I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place!
>>
>>84579291
Id like to know what was on that mixtape. Inherently it can't just be Moving Pictures.
>>
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>Now, look here, you drugged-out Communist. I paid for this body and I'd no sooner return it than I would my little cocker spaniel dog, Checkers.
>[Checkers barks]
>Shut up, dammit!
>>
>>84581297
>please Mr nixon, I'm appealing to your sense of decency!
>uncontrollable laughter all around
>>
>>84581212
The same shit happens in Star Trek: Into Darkness. The whole point of beaming is because the ship cant land.
>>
>Well lookie here, if it isn't a robo
>WHAT, WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?
>A robo, y'know a robot hobo
>Oh, I thought you called me a romo
>>
>It's missing the tiny umbrella Kif
>THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT A SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS!

I also use "guaca-mole" and "cham-pagn"
>>
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>"That dance wasn't as safe as they said it was."
>>
>>84581212
It's a joke, man.
>>
>Wow, your kid is great! How hard did you say you had to hit him?

>Fairly hard.
>>
>>84571737
>El Zilcho... Hmm is it too late to change my hero name?
>>
Speedy Puff Junior suuuuuuuucks
>>
>>84574136
>What makes a man turn neutral?

If I die, tell my wife hello

I'm a culprit of using these two often
>>
>>84579017
There's also a really dumb dry joke that gets me every time when they're all playing cards but suddenly have wife beaters on
>>
>MY KAJIGGER!
>>
King Kong is too old to save us this time!
>>
Man, this show might as well be seasons 8-11 of the Simpsons.

Was George Meyer involved with it?
>>
>>84581389
I never knew you were such a coin-asseur
>>
>Who needs courage when you have A GUN?
>>
>Now that we are all out of stupid
>Well, i had some left, but go on
>>
Do simpsons quotes count?
>>
>I'm Scruffy...the janitor
>>
>>84580920

> With all your science, are you any closer to understanding how a robot walks? or talks?

> Yes you idiot! Your circuit diagram is printed on the inside of your case!

> I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe!
>>
>Remember, it's up to us. Bigfoot is a crucial part of the ecosystem, if he exists. So let's all help keep Bigfoot possibly alive for future generations to enjoy unless he doesn't exist.
>>
>>84582017
>No world, YOU put YOUR hands up!
>>
>I hereby declare that henceforth this Saturday shall be known as Fry-day!
>>
>>84581638
"In a thousand years, I'll get right on that"
>>
>B. E. N. D. E. R. BENDER. B. E. N. D E R. BENDER. Give me a B...E...N. DERRRRERRERR.
>>
>Stop it, you are embarrassing us in front of the other genders

When I was a kid I thought it was hilarious, because there are only two genders.

Times change.
>>
>>84581212
This is a universe where scientists changed the speed of light and they regularly create black holes in high school science.
>>
>>84579224
I thought it was Leela. One thing I love about the show is that it was never afraid to let its female characters be funny or get shit on. Amy's whole gimmick was a hot girl being a slapstick comedy character and Leela kept getting blinded.
>>
>It's an albino humping worm!
>Why do they call it that?
>Because it doesn't have any pigment.
Gets me everytime.
>>
I have yet to understand the meaning of that.
Like, they built an entire village of robots and programmed lore into their brains and such, just for the giggles?
>>
>>84582140
FUCK, forgot to put this>>84582592
>>
>>84582592
Yes.

One of the running setting gags is robots who have no reason to be built, like mafia robots, homeless robots, insane murderer robots, incompetent robots-they're all purposefully planned that way.
>>
So why was this show weak on the first half of its first season as it slowly picks up?
Seems like every other show has the same dilemma.
>>
>"AND YOOOOOU AAAAAARE OUTTA HERE"

>"I'm going to jump!"
>"Do a flip!"

>"You'll be the captain, you'll be the delivery boy, and you'll be the drunken, foul-mouthed- oh God, you're alive! I mean, thank God you're alive!"

>"Grunka-Lunka dunkity-dingredient, you must not ask about the secret ingredient."
>"Okay, okay, we get the point!"
>"I was just curious because of all the armed guards."
>"Grunka-Lunka dunkity-darmedguards..."
>"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

>"I'll make my own Lunar Lander! With blackjack, and hookers! You know what? Forget the Lunar Lander and the blackjack! Ah, screw the whole thing."

>"The one called Zapp will be snu-snu'd by the large women. He that is designated Fry will be snu-snu'd by the petite women. And Kiff, as the most attractive male, will be snu-snu'd by the most beautiful women of Amazonia, then the large women, then the petite women, then the large women again."

>"My God, we're defenceless, like fish in a barrel."
>"Options?"
>"My instinct is to hide in this barrel like the wily fish."
>>
>I can't see what's happening, are we boned?
>Yeah, we're boned.
>>
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S-w-I-i-N-g L-o-O-o-W
s-W-w-E-e-E-t C-h-A-a-A-r-R-i-O-o-T
C-o-M-m-I-n-G f-O-r T-o C-A-r-R-r-Y m-E h-O-o-O-o-M-e
>>
>Did he at least die painlessly?
>to shreds you say...
>tsk tsk tsk
>Well, how is his wife holding up?
>to shreds you say...
>>
>>84582125
>"I've never seen you before"
>"I've never seen you before neither"

>"I'm on break"
>eats one chip at a time very slowly

>"Scruffy's gonna die the way he lived"
>reads Zero-G Jugs as the ship goes down

And absolute favorite:
>"Never before have these eyes beheld such tragedy. Welp, into the turlet"
>>
>>84582633
WHY THOUGH?
>>
FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM OY! FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM OY!
>>
>Stupid anti-pimping laws! Well, pay the man!
>Bender honey, we love you
>Shut up baby, I know it!
>>
>AND I AM HIS FRIEND JESUS
>>
>>84582784
>How dare you lie in front of Jesus?
>>
>>84582784
>"Jesus, help me!"
>"I help those who help themselves!"
>>
>>84575557
That first one always gets me
>>
>I thought circusitis only affected children
>Children of all ages
>>
>>84582758
That's the joke! That is literally the joke! "Why the fuck would they build a robot programmed to be homeless."
>>
>Are you people satisfied? This gentle visitor is dying, and we'll never even know why he came.
>I'll tell you, with my final breath. I came here with a simple dream: a dream of killing all humans. And this is how it must end? Who's the real seven billion ton robot monster here? Not I. Not... I.
>>
>>84582652
It takes time to figure out what makes the characters work and what kind of tone should the show have.

It didn't get the one hundred jokes per minute style until later on and originally Bender wasn't that much of a dick, Farnsworth was senile rather than crazy, Hermes wasn't a diehard workaholic, and Amy I don't think even had a personality other than Planet Express intern before she got turned into a spoiled rich ditz.
>>
>>84581212
That's not 1 G of acceleration. It's 1 atmosphere of pressure. And if you're going to be pedantic about it, what matters is the difference in pressure between the inside and outside. So 1 atmosphere would be when they're in a vacuum (1 inside - 0 outside = 1) while 0 would be while on a planet with the airlocks all open (1 inside - 1 outside = 0)
If they were on a planet with a high enough atmospheric pressure that the ship would explode once in a vacuum, they could either pump out the air until it's at a suitable pressure or not seal the airlocks until they're high enough that the pressure is about 1 atmosphere.
>>
>>84582838
That was such a forced and pointless gag, and yet it still made me laugh.
>>
well ex-fucking-uuuuuuuse me for over-analysing this piece of fiction, I just like to over think stuff because I derive a sense of enjoyment out of trying to explain such weirdness
>>
>>84582934
WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH ME TODAY>>84582849
>>
>>84582944
My point is that there is an answer from the writers and that is that the question, "Why would you make this?", is the joke.

Considering the future is roughly capitalist an easier explanation is that the criminal and homeless robots had functions, were replaced by superior units, and ended up out on their tin asses but that wasn't what they said the joke was in the commentary.

I'm not trying to attack you dude I'm explaining that the creators specifically mentioned what you're talking about AS a gag for people who think too much about the setting.
>>
>One bdep for yes, two beeps for no
>-one beep-
>Yes noted, do you plead guilty?
>-two beeps-
>Double yes. Guilty.
>>
>>84569766
"Try this, kids at home!"
>Subtitle: DON'T TRY THIS, KIDS AT HOME
>>
I know that the writers just dismiss overanalitycal people (cubert being an example of this).
But man, my explination would have been that, maybe in the future humanity solved everything and got really bored, so the nerds that control the world created robots to, like, imitate human behaviour ('cus they don't have free will and all) and made them "feel" stuff like pain and fear just for the giggles.
>>
>With my last breath, I curse ZOIDBERG!!

>Professor! Lava! Hot!

>Well, I do owe you for giving me this unholy...ACTING TALENT!

>Funny story, the script called for me to say "yes", but I gave it a little twist
>>
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>>84569766
Not even a quote, just this sight gag alone gets me every damn time.
>>
>>84571959
>tfw realize Amy Wong and Connie from KotH are the same person
>>
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>Zoidberg a diplomat? The list of things I have heard now contains everything!
>>
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>I MUST get my hands on those healthy purple berries!
>Bort.
>>
>What are you gay?

>Sweden? I don't think so.

>Everyone knows 20th Century colleges were just expensive daycares.

>NIXON'S NOT BRINGING THE SMOKES
>>
>Unless, of course, war were declared.
>[siren beeps]
>What's that?
>War were declared.
>>
>we've crossed paths before
>was that before or after you slept with him?
>>
>>84579659
Being Canadian everything I learned about Nixon growing up was based on Futurama.
>>
I am the man with no name... ZAPP BRANNIGAN
>>
>>84583757
I fucking minored in US History, and sort of specialized in presidents, and when I think of Nixon I still think of Futurama's take on him first.
>>
THEN THE LARGE WOMEN
>>
>>84579705
The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings is my favorite Futurama episode ever.
>>
>>84571850

In a thousand years I'll get right on it!
>>
>>84583626
Came in the thread to post this
>>
I'm sorry, I thought you was corn.
>>
>>84581411
I'm proud to be the shepherd of this herd of sharks
>>
>>84580100
Even if you could get the majority of individuals to vote third party, the electoral college would never vote the same way because their hands are in the pockets of the two main parties and it would be political suicide.

And EVEN IF you could get around that and somehow get enough electoral college members willing to throw away their careers for a third party, a third party president would be effectively useless trying to work with a House and Senate that are controlled by the Democrats and Republicans.

In Europe and Australia you can vote for any nutcase and give him a shot, but in America voting third party is literally throwing your vote away. The Simpsons wasn't lying.
>>
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C3PO: Oh dear, might I favour the master with a tender kiss on the forehead. *smooch* *smooch* *smooch*

Professor: Oh I failed again.
>>
>>84579432
I love how any time anyone runs into an alternate version or duplicate of themselves, they're always mean to each other.
>>
>>84582125
>Prison's not so bad. You can make sangria in the terlet. Of course, it's shank or be shanked.
>Of course [sobbing]
>>
my favorite quotes come fromnfry talking to lucy liu bot

Fry
>Then when I feel so stuffed I can't eat anymore, I just use the restroom, and then I can eat more.
Liubot
>You should write a book, Fry. People need to know about the [mechanical voice] can eat more.


Fry
>This is the best movie I've ever seen. It has a vampire and an explosion!
Liubot
>It's amazing the way you [mechanical voice] notice two things.

Liubot
>I'll always remember you, Fry-- [mechanical voice] Memory deleted.
>>
>>84585787
Except the Cowboy version. No one hates their Cowboy version.
>>
Hail science!
>>
>>84578893
>I'm glad the show had a timely end
All three of them were pretty good.
>>
CITIZEN SNIIIIIIIIIPS!
>>
>>84569766
>Hi. I'm Ranger Park, the Park Ranger.
>I get it!

That joke has no right being as funny as it actually was.
>>
>>84571737
Captain Yesterday, he's fast!

Not just fast, he's from the past!

He's Captain Yesterday!
>>
Honeycomb's big, yeah yeah yeah.
>>
What drives a man neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or was he just born with a heart full of neutrality?
>>
>>84580779
How's his wife doing?
>>
>>84584226
THEN THE PETITE WOMEN
>>
>>84587443
It's not small?
>>
>>84587467
To shreds, you say...
>>
>>84587487

No no no.
>>
>hola, professor?
>que pasa?
>>
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>Oh my god, I'm a millionaire! I suddenly have an opinion about the capital gains tax!
>>
>I have a very dramatic announcement. So, anyone with a weak heart should leave now.
>...
>Goodbye!
>>
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>Careful, Fry, I think that flag might be poisonous
>>
>To shreds you say...
>Hows his wife holding up?
>To shreds you say...
>>
>You have Sealions on land?
>Yup, we call them Land-Sealions.
>>
Stupid Anti Pimping Laws!
>>
>Now I am leaving Earth forever, for NO RAISIN!
>>
>It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors ... but paper covers rock ... and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.

>What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?

Brannigan, Begin Again will always be the greatest Futurama episode.
>>
>Mr. Mayor, if you want to see the real vampire, look in the mirror

>I can't, I'm a vampire
>>
"This song was beautiful when sung by my ancestor, Art."

>"P͈̞̗ͅA̵͖͓̙̘̼R̡̺S̠͈͇̪̪͍͟ͅL̫E͙͚͓̯Y,̸̙̗̱͕̥̜ͅ ̲S̡̲̙̻̯̟̣A̪͎̙̘̝͡G̴̤͕͎͖ͅͅE̘̠̘͇,̵̺̺̪̻̻̯ ̠̲̦̪̱R͙͝Ò͙S͈̰̝̮̝͔E̪̦̜MA͈͍̹̹͕͟R̛͓͕̲̲̻͉̼Y̡,͡ ̙͎̱̗̮̩̣A̺̲̘̭N̤̭͡D̡̰̥ ̥̬̗̪̟͖̥T̸̹̣͎H̹̮ͅYM̩̮̱E̺͔̞͟"
>>
>>84589797
You forgot his proud quote about how he defeated the killbots which proves he'd become the greatest general in the Warhammer 40,000 Imperium
>>
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>I will now do the native dance of my people.
>It says here that this part of the Hustle was a plea to the gods for a favor, usually a Trans-Am.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60BjkUtqxPE
>>
>>84582549
According to chromosomes, there really only about two.

Zap Branigan: We're under attack and the wedding's off! Kiff, return fire and the cake.
Kiff: Our weapons are disabled and YOU CAN'T RETURN ICECREAM CAKES! We're doomed!
>>
>>84589797

>It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors ... but paper covers rock ... and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.

Why?

His tired, defeated tone is what sells it.
>>
>Congo Jack!

>That's right! And I have a message from Colonel Mutombe He says, "This is from Congo Jack!"
>>
I request a Satanic funeral!
>>
>>84591176
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
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>In a rare double whammy the Supreme Court also finds polygamy, Constitutional!

>I can't wait to tell my husband!
>>
>>84569766

>Leela : Fry we're worried about planet express
>Fre : Don't you worry about planet express, let me worry about blank
>>
"Fry, you're covered in bed sores!"
"Not COVERED"
>>
>MY MANWICH
>>
>>84592297
BOOOOOOOOO
>>
>So that's where I left my cigar!
>THAT JUST RAISES FURTHER QUESTIONS!
>>
>>84570227
>zombie Futurama
>>
>>84579096
Where have you been senpai?
>>
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I love that guy!
>>
>>84593099
"You can't just sit around doing nothing all your life! I tried that! Bed sores hurt!"
>>
>you'll like being dead
>thats what they said about being alive!
>>
>>84574582
>He may have ocean madness, but that's no excuse for ocean rudeness!

Comedy Central cuts this line when they air it and that upsets me to no end
>>
>>84594479
why would they cut that?
>>
>>84581212
Futurama is loose with continuity, get over it
>>
Somehow nobody did this one.

>"It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyones' throwing up"
>>
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>>84569766
>If I don't make it, tell my wife hello.
>>
Well, I'm gonna get my own theme park. With Blackjack and Hookers. In fact, forget the theme park.
>>
>>84594491
Time, most likely. Gotta squeeze in more commercials.
>>
>>84594586

>"I have no strong no feelings one way or the other."

>"All I know is my gut says "Maybe"."
>>
>>84594479

They also cut The Professor yelling "Sweet Zombie Jesus!" as well.
>>
>>84571192
Honestly think Godfellas might be the best Futurama episode.
Shit was fucking poignant.
>>
>>84572263
wew
>>
>>84580430
m-me too anon...
BF3
[GOOS]

Halo 5
Fighting Mongooses
>>
>>84574136
Imagine if he was voiced by Phil Hartman as originally intended.
>>
>NOW IM LEAVING THE EARTH FOR NO RAISIN
>>
>>84594491
CC cuts content so they can squeeze in more ad time
>>
>>84580452

What about a misspelling? famm
>>
>>84580909
>Reaction to Richard Roeper's Ghostbusters Review.jpg
>>
>When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?

>To have parents.

>Whatever. The correct answer is, to be a superhero!


>Well if it isn't our superheros

>...or should i say super ZEROS

>*sniff* that was uncalled for
>>
>>84587379
Cloberella beats you up!
Cloberella beats you up!
Who does she beat up?
You!
Cloberella!
>>
>Also, in a rare double-whammy decision, the court finds polygamy constitutional.
>booo
>I can't wait to tell my husband
>BOOOOOOOO
>>
Literally anything zapp says is gold.
Also the harpoon joke is fantastic.
>>
>it translates into some ancient language
>Bonjour!
>Worthless junk!
>>
>I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside, where it can fester quietly as a mental illness >Yeah, I do that with my stupidness
>>
>Dr.zoidberg can you show me your academic title?
>I dropped it in a... volcano
>>
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>>
Stop exploding, you cowards!
>>
>are you sure there isn't a better way to get the buggalow out?
>not unless your parents have thousands of of helicopters at their disposal
>well, actually
>TOO LATE THIS IS MORE FUN
>>
>Nothing is impossible. Not if you can imagine it. That's what being is a scientist is all about.
>No, that's what being a magical elf is all about.
>>
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ntNmonMvNk
>>
>We'll never find this place. Robots are very good at keeping secrets.
>No, we're not, you little bedwetter. Oops! I'm sorry.
>>
>no fair! you changed the outcome by measuring it!
>>
>you can't even remember your one name Einstein
>Einstein's a hard name to remember
>>
>Actually we've met once before
>What
>>
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Loved this guy.

>It strikes me as an extra-risky strategy.
>Did you say, "Extra-crispy recipe"?
>You know I didn't.

>Now I may be just be a simple country Hyper-Chicken, but I know when we're finger licked.

>Your Honor, I move that I be disbarred for introducing this evidence against my own clients.
>>
>>84596796
>Me? What a surprise!
>...
>bang
>>
>>84579432
Used the Fighting Mongooses as a Boy Scout patrol name
>>
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>That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer!
>>
>It's me, Dr. Zoidberg! Homeowner!
>>
>>84569766
>Fry Cracked corn and i don't care
>Leela Cracked corn i still don't care
>Bender Cracked corn and HE IS GREAT!
>Take that you stupid corn
>>
>>84596931
>now Pamela, I know it's scary in that there witness box, but ain't no need to fear me, BA-GOCK!!!
>I'm sorry, I thought you was corn
>>
>I shall give you your army of the damned! And in return, I ask just one thing! One itty, bitty thing! Your first born son. [Cackles maniacally]
>Just a sec.

>Daddy, I knew you'd come back!

>Here you go.
[Bender punts his screaming kid into Robot Hell]
>>
Yet the Zookeeper escaped, thus proving that the deadliest animal of all... is the Zookeeper!
>>
>>84597305
>So, have you ever been on TV before?
>Just once, when I took those hostages
>I saw that! You were good
>>
>Save my friends!...and Zoidberg!
>>
>I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse and keep it under my mattress to remind myself he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane!
>>
>I'm not allowed to vote.
>'Cause you're a robot?
>Nah, convicted felon.

Also

>You're under arrest for child cruelty, child endangerment, depriving children of food, selling children AS food, and misrepresenting the weight of livestock.

God there's just so many.
>>
>>84570065
>I CAN NO LONGER FACE MY CHILDREN!!!

>>84570541
OH LORDY LOU! HEEEELP!!!
>>
Bender: Ah, computer dating. It's a lot like pimping, only you don't have to use the phrase, 'Upside your head.'
Leela: Bender, who would go to you for date advice?
Bender: Don't make me go upside your head!
>>
>So he's not perfect. You don't want to end up old and lonely like ZOIDBEEEERG! (sobs) You were saying?

>To the beat, y'all! To the beat, y'all! I'm dancin' a jig wit mah feet, y'all!

>Holy mackerel! She just ate a whole mackerel!

>Ma! Pa! Our precious ranch!
>(Mrs. Wong conks him with a trophy)

>This mission is incredibly dangerous. Someone's sure to be killed. Fry, Leela, Bender...
>DAMN YOU, OLD MAN!
>>
>Harpoon my ass
>Ok *harpoons his ass*
>>
>>84600325
>OW, MY SMALL INTESTINE?!
>>
>>84585110
The last notable 3rd party candidate I can remember is goddamn Teddy Roosevelt.
>>
You fool! You foolishly fooly fool!
>>
>bishop to knight 4
>not every problem can be solved with chess, Deep Blue, some day you'll understand that.
>>
>I came here from a faraway planet, a planet ruled by a chauvinistic manputer that was really a manbot. Have you any idea how it feels to be a fembot living in a manbot's manputer's world?
>What?
>>
>She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes! She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she come-- I'LL KILL YOU AMY!!
>>
>>84600821
>I'm a tenth level Vice President!
>>
>Hey Bender, do you have a bathroom?
>Bathwhat?
>Bathroom.
>Whatroom?
>Bathroom!
>Whatwhat?
>>
>>84569766
>"Hey, did that lad just say rings are cool?!"
>"Nope! He said they're stupid."
>"COOOOOL!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF8GiRzJN6g
>>
>I always knew that monkey would run off... Why? WHY?? WHY DIDN'T I BREAK HIS LEGS???
>>
>>84590572
We now play this song at work and every time it comes on, every single time, I think of this scene.
>>
>Don't worry, I have a plan
>cut to Hermes on the roof of Planet Express
>I'M GONNA JUMP!!
>>
>>84570227
I use this one.
>>
>I'm Santa Claus!
>No, I'm Santa Claus!
>We're also Santa Claus!
>And I'm his friend Jesus.
>You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus?

Later:

>Get him Jesus!
>I help those who help themselves!
>>
>>84601072
DO A FLIP!!
>>
that is some senpai, my senpai, stop talking senpai to my senpai
>>
>>84569766
>Final boarding call for flight 406: Non-stop service to PAIN.
>tink
>...Now boarding stand-by passengers--
>>
>>84569766
>Oh my God... Sylvester Stallone!
>>
>(yelling into the wrong side of a megaphone) ATTENTION NEW NEW YORKERS, STOP BEING SO STUPID
>bird squawks into megaphone
>>
>The prophecy is strange and crudely drawn at best. It indicates that we are here, and our next Pharaoh is over there, near some... tents.

>THOSE ARE WAVES JACKASS, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A RIVER!
>>
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>>84602194
Forgot pic
>>
>>84598866
You can get off me anytime
>>
>Theres nothing here but old porno mags and copies of Ayn Rand
>>
>>84571192
>dorffortress.png
>>
>If rubbing frozen dirt on your crotch is wrong, hey, I don't wanna be right.
>>
>>84579659
>I'LL GO INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES AT NIGHT AND WRECK UP THE PLACE
>>
File: wake up.png (436KB, 877x654px) Image search: [Google]
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You have to wake up.
>>
>>84583380
>You and I are enemies now.
>>
>>84593846
Futurama has been fairly consostent throughout it's run though.

They stumbled a bit in Season 6 but that's to be expected from a network change
>>
>>84595748
Superking has all the powers of a king,
Plus all the powers of Superman,
Also he's a robot.
Ain't it cool, Superking you rule!
>>
>I feel like I was struck by Mighty Thor.

>Well I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
>>
>>84596931
>sits down
>opens briefcase to reveal several chicks
>Daddy done good, huh?
>>
>>84583306
Moron. They aren't similar at all except for their race and even there any is Chinese and Connie is Laotian
>>
>>84590572
I tried posting this gif and to my surprise it already was.
My man!
>>
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>[Laughter]
>"Oh, wait, you're serious. Here, let me laugh even harder."
>[Laughter intensifies]
>>
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>Sees whole thread and not one came up with "Bite my shiny metal ass"
>>
>>84602992
He's talking about the voice actress, stupid.
>>
>Hey, I calls them like I sees them. I'm a whale biologist.
>>
>You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg.
>You ALL still have Zoidberg!
>>
>>84602992
God, you're a fucking moron. Did you come from Reddit or Tumblr?
>>
>You're free to go.
>Wait a minute, why don't you want to kill us anymore?
>Shut up, you idiot! We can kill ourselves when we get home!
>>
>>84582661
>I never thought I'd die like this, but I always hoped.
>>
Hey, I remember you. I was gonna vote for you one time. But voting isn't cool. So I stayed home alone and got trashed on listerine
>>
>>84601294
what?
>>
>I'll always remember you, Fry. MEMORY DELETED.
>>
>No beer until you finish your tequila!
>>
>A dangerous villain known as the Zookeeper, who commits crimes aided by a pack of highly trained animals.
>Pack of highly. Got it.
>>
>Oh god, you're alive-- I mean, thank god, you're alive!
>>
>>84596594
Smartest non-math joke in Futurama history
>>
>>84583757
It was close

https://youtu.be/6yQJEGcI-Uw?t=1m
>>
>go on without me, I'll hold her off
>but she'll crush you like a worm, crushing a smaller worm
>It's alright, I'm so tired of partying, so very tired.
>I'll save you the only way I know how: by partying!
>party on slurms
>party on contest winners, party on
>>
>>84604574
>I'm so tired of partying, so very tired.
That line haunts me. Not exaggerating.
>>
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>>84604627
>>
>You are technically correct - the best kind of correct.
>>
>>84604669
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgVcSrXXU1s

Its sad that Futurama didn't get to do more musical numbers.
>>
>"I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can."
>"You're going to do his laundry?" *slap*
>>
I am Bender
Insert girder
>>
>>84604734
>I am Bender, baby, please insert liquor!
>>
>"My next clue came at 4:15 when the clock stopped, and another came two hours later at 4:15, when I discovered the murdered body of Amy's deceased, dead corpse.
>>
>>84581331
The whole point of beaming was saving money and time by not constantly using shuttlepod sets. Voyager landed several times.
>>
>That's not Fry's jacket. Fry's jacket is red. That's your jacket. An off-the-rack, lime green affair.
>>
>>84581331
Shh! Those words are forbidden!
>>
>Look! Olympus Mons, the tallest volcano in the solar system!
>Where?
>Right in front of you.
>Oh... Ohhh!
>>
>>84604230
Anon just figured out that wordfilter
>>
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>>84570747
>>
>You can crush me, but you can never crush my spirit!
>OW! MY SPIRIT!
>>
>You're watching Futurama, the show that does not advocate the cool, cool crime of robbery.
>>
>>84580215
>>84580509
https://regimental-standard.com/

Check this out in the meantime.
>>
>>84580215
>>84580509
>>84605878
https://mega.nz/#!KVBmmAxa!aExQt-VAPFRUF6gOh_h8rqRkkxsvqWWRlPM02drlQps
>>
>>84581389

>I have a flawless spanish accent. Let's have goo-ack-ee-mole on el RE-OE.
>>
>>84605804
>"Ow, my head! Ow, my feet! Ow, my head! Ow, my feet!"
>"Keep your chin up!"
>"Ow, my chin!"
>>
>>84598861
>Wow, that was brutal even by my standards
>No backsies
>>
>>84583380
That entire segment was fucking funny.

>"Hahaha, I'll never tell you! It's a deep space emotion detector!"

>[I am puzzled, for we don't know what mouths are. It's a threat! Destruct them!]

>"Professor, I have analysed the alien's movements with this movement analyser!"
>"That device was a gift from my ancestors! Go on."
>"It seems their movements are a form of language. Rather than speaking Ja[ENGLISH] like us, they speak by dancing."
>>
>Kif, I'm getting the "captain's itch"
>I'll get the powder, sir
>>
>"Hey, try this, kids at home!"
>[DON'T TRY THIS, KIDS AT HOME]
>>
>Good news everyone! We were supposed to make a delivery to [I forget the planet name], but it's been completely destoryed
>Why is that good news?
>They paid in advance
>>
>>
>>84606121
Fuck i didn't catch that.
Have a funny picture in return.
>>
>>84606121
Didn't the Simpsons do a similar joke? "You know who the real jerks are? Those big shot Hollywood producers!" Cue "Executive producers" card.
>>
>>84606121
Ha! oh shit, never noticed the gag in the last panel. Gods this show was funny.
>>
>>84606392
>Double D actually builds with Lego
Not surprised, but wow didnt even catch that
>>
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I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine!
>>
>wait, what about the animals
>well dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel, that's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow
>yes, but what about the animals?
>the wha?
>the animals
>I didnt say anything about animals
>now it seems the planet will collapse within 3 days
>incidentally this will kill all the animals
>>
>>84606026
The whole episode was a gem. Doop Commandos as censored by Nixon was great.
>>
>>84570227
>HobsGalding.jpg
>>
>>84606888
>Incoming Surface to Air [Warning Shot]
>>
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>>
>>84606866

You've got a degree in baloney!
>>
>>84578959
Oh, shit. What's the context of this again?
>>
Really? No one said it yet?

ROBOT HOUUUUUUUUUSE!
>>
>>84607243
In the fishing episode zoidberg finds a shell that he makes his home
later in the ep his home burns down even though they're underwater which only hermes questions
then bender realizes he left his cigar in zoidberg's home and puffs on it a few times making hermes question it again
>>
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>>84607270
>>
>>84607509
I love Dean Vernon working quietly at his desk and instantly thinking the phone ringing is a sign of trouble.
>>
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FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT
>>
>>84607610
Reminds me
>The ship is fixed, except for the cupholder, and I should have that operational within 10 hours.
>YOU'VE GOT 8!
>>
>>84582758
You have to remember that every robot in that universe was built by Mom, the same woman who weaponized a children's toy.
>>
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>Arguing on the internet
>>
>>84607868

Turns out it's man.
>>
>>84569766
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ussCHoQttyQ&ab_channel=leetag
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0toEKn3vKDU
>Oh god you're killing me
>OH GOD YOU'RE KILLING ME
>>
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>>84607937
Fucking kek
>>
>>84607970
Wow it still a tie? Gotta give it to em'.
>>
WE'RE WHALERS OF THE*click*
>>
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>>84607663
>>
>>84579081
not having any evidence is terrible evidence. at that point you might as well just admit you believe in god only because you want to believe in god.
>>
>>84582652
The first half is comfy though. Everyone is more realistic.
>>
>>84603288
>My suit!
>The suit was ugly! Whale biologist
>>
>>84590572
I didn't get this joke
>>
>>84608295
you weren't born in the right time for it then
>>
SHEEEEEE WAS OOOOONCE A TRUE LOVE OF MIIIINEE
>>
>Just slow it down, I'll shoot Hitler out the window
>>
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>>84570018
>mfw my friend that works on a boat told me the entire crew shouts that whenever the weather is shitty
>>
YOU KILLED FRY

YOU KILLED FRY
>>
>>84609134
>Darn! I hit Eleanor Roosevelt by mistake.
>>
>Stupid old people! Why do we have to pay for their living?
*timelapse*
>I WANT FREE MONEY!
>>
>"See you in girl hell! I'll be in boy hell, much nicer"

>"FOR QUALITY CARPETS VISIT KAPLAN'S CARPET WAREHOUSE"

>"Ew, get a room!" "We are in a room" "Well then lose some weight"

>"Are you the Philip J Fry of earth, or the Philip J Fry of Flying Squid World 97A?"

>"Give me your biggest, strongest, cheapest drink"

>"At least here you'll be treated with dignity, now strip naked and get on the probulator"
>>
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>>
>Your song is bad and you should feel bad
>>
>>84586015
>If you want to know who the REAL, just look in the mirror!
>I can't, I'm a vampire
>>
>>84609593
>oops
gets me every time
>>
>there's something on the wing!
>Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
>Saw it coming

>The aliens were defeated by the humblest of God's creations... The Tyrannosaurus Rex
>>
>>84609976
The Scary Door skits were so fucking great.
>>
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...and the other hamburger will also be made of your lungs.
>>
>>84610412
I use his "haHAAA" way too often.

>I'm thinkin' of escaping. You in, or do I gotta STAB YA SO YA DON'T SQUEAL?!
>U-uh, yeah, sure thing, buddy! So, uh, when were you planning on busting out of here?
>Oh, about 5 seconds ago.
>[sirens]
>QUICK! LET'S KEEP ESCAPING!
>>
>>84580730
>seductive "I'm not hearing a no"

I am so using this on the girl I'm courting when I finally meet her.
>>
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>>84608150
>Space and atoms totally exist! The jews told me so in school!
>the earth is billions of years old! Yea that guy found carbon in ice and totally figured it out using le science xDD
>>
>>84581389
>>84605973
The problem with the intention mispronounciations is you just know if you were trying to quote them and happened to pass by a mexican you'd be called racist if they didn't hear the entire thing in context.
>>
>>84606888
>[something something] BASTARDS
>It's okay if I say it.
>>
>>84571192
>That entire lead up
wow, I didn't remember that at all.
Just the "when you do things right" bit.
>>
>What are you doing in here, Fry? And why are you listening to classical music?
>>
>>84579017
It ended before the best part.
>>
>An elephant never forgets... TO KILL!
Gets me every time
>>
>"You're the kind of guy who'd go to Jerusalem and wouldn't even check out the sex-eteria!"

>"I don't want to go to Neptune! I'll be cold! And heavy!"

>>84606893
Underrated post.
>>
MY MANWICH!
>>
>>84610952
I've literally seen space because I walk outside after 8pm occasionally. As for atoms, I've conducted chemical experiments which act exactly the way the atomic model predicts.

http://www.livescience.com/29152-oldest-tree-in-world.html
Here's a tree. Someone counted its rings and found it to be older than the supposed date of the global flood. You're welcome to count them yourself and prove otherwise.
>>
>I love stealing, I love taking things
>>
>>84612749
>next year in Jerusalem!
>>
>it's okay, Fry, you can come live with me!
>you sure I won't impose?
>nah, I've always wanted a pet
>>
>>84613218
>falling for bait
>>
>hey, what's this fat ugly thing? A frog? A toad? Or yo mama?
>hehehehe, QUIT TOUCHING MY JUNK, PERVERT
>bite my shiny metal-- OOOHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
>ah, no need to worry, I don't have an addictive personality. *smokes* *drinks* *jacks up*
>have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children... and hitting them?
>I'M UNSTOPPABLE!!! *arms fall off*

>is modern life making you tense and impatient?
>SHUTTUP AND GET TO THE POINT!

>WE WILL SHOW THE WORLD OUR PEACEFUL WAYS... BY FORCE!


Why is Bender so great
>>
>>84575004
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9q70zCJYBc
>>
>>84581212
the ship doesnt fly, the universe moves around it
>>
>>84596304
Silly Bender, just lay down to approximate the shape of the rest of the P.
>>
>"What do you want!"
>"FRY'S DOG!"
>"When do you want it!"
>"FRY'S DOG!"

Also,
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v5JiPj9c98Y
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yceGT6lrn1Y
>>
>But what does that mean for us and our many fans?
>>
Scary looking Nannybot nursing a baby: SLEEP LITTLE DUMPLING. I HAVE REPLACED YOUR MOTHER.
>>
>>84602722

> Clobberella, Captain Yesterday, my liege!
>>
B-E-N-D-E-R BEEEEEEEENNDERRR
>>
>>84571737
>Super King, Cloberella, and all the rest!
>>
>I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxln3a7GyfI
>>
>It came to me in a dream and I forgot it in another dream.
>>
>>84580761
I use this line every time I okay a bard in DnD; works every time.
>>
>>84582652

Writers need to get into the grove of things and it can take a bit to get settled. Futurama also needed a bit to set the universe up before they could go all out on the jokes.
>>
>Yo! The super-heroes have turned ev-il! Most uncool.
>>
>Better do what he says - he's a whale biologist.
>>
>Coilette, you she-devil! You really thought you could steal those diamonds from me and Congo Jack?
>>
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>If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards!
>Checkmate.
>>
>>84610412

>uuh, give me that pen
>try to rip it so most of the beads are on my side
>>
>THAT ONLY FURTHER RAISES THE QUESTION
>>
>>84608004

People claim google forces parity on that one as part of the joke.
>>
My friends would always bring up "Why are those children following you? You have candy stuck to your ass?"
>>
>Is X-ray eye. See through anything.
>Wait a minute, this says Z-ray.
>Z is just as good. In fact is better. Is two more than X.
>>
>>84620626
Basically, anything that comes out of Zapp Branigan's mouth is the best quote.
>>
>>84620770
"What's the matter with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food!"
>>
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>>
>>
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>I'll be whatever I wanna do! That Guy was the greatest businessman that ever lived. And before his mysterious death, he taught me everything he knew. [The stock price changes to 114.]
>But some things I had to learn myself. [It changes to 99.]
>I learned that money is fine but in the end what counts is people. [57.]
>People you love. [46.]
>You can't put a price on that. [28.]
>So I'm giving up control of the company ... [107.]
>... to a man of enormous experience ... [115.]
>Professor ... [150.]
>Hubert Farnsworth. [Stock price plummets.]
>>
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>>
>take Franky, he's convinced he's a lunchroom worker, so they put him to work in the lunchroom!
>how is work in the lunchroom, Franky?
>s'alright.
>poor Franky...
>>
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>>
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>>
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>>84582661
>>
>shhhh... be very quiet, we're in the ear
>okay professor.
>WHAT!?
>what about what?
>>
>>84621223
Petite women > Large women
>>
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>>
>WITH MY LAST BREATH, I CURSE ZOIDBEERRRG!!
>>
>>84621322
>reminder that there was an entire episode dedicated to Rule 63
>>
>Bender spits out his cigar, burns a guy in his face, then catches it back in his mouth and laughs at him
>>
>Do refrigerators still come in cardboard boxes? >Yeah, but the rents are outrageous.
>>
>Leela! Oh my god, you saved my life! I am gonna get you so many lizards--
>>
>>84596931
>Yonder crawdad dun et up our flag.
>>
>>84598866
>HAWK, FETCH
>That seemed unnecessary.
>>
Fry: Let's review. Who was our first president?
Bender: A pickle jar?
Washington: Thomas Jefferson?
>>
>>84623573
>Now when I say something stupid, guys laugh and buy me things!
>>
>>84604766
Every day at 4:15, I think of this joke. And I probably always will.
>>
>>84620740
Disliked, just to check. How'd it go?
>>
>Why do I have to be the hump?
>Because you're too ugly to be a wart.

>Seize them!
>Seize them!
>Get them—er I mean seize them!
>>
>>84624843
But Anon I liked just to check.

YOU FOOL
>>
>>84571192
>>84579081
>>84575671

My dad teaches at a jewish sunday school and he uses that episode every year as part of his class.
>>
>>84602992
>being this dumb
>>
>>84621195
>Fry, you smelly idiot-- I think he's trying to make some kind of deal with the devil with you!

>Ohh! How deliciously ironic!
>>That's not ironic, it's just mean!

Then later that episode

>The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. Now-that-IS-irony!

>C'mon Nixon!

Why didn't the Robot Devil get more screen time?
>>
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Is this the Spongebob of adult cartoons?
>>
>>84626793
>Perhaps we could make a metaphorical deal with the devil here. By devil, I mean Robot
Devil, and by metaphorical I mean grab your coat.
>>
>>84579659
I didn't live a thousand years and travel a quadrillion miles to look at another man's gizmo.
>>
>My parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend, I'll never see any of them ever again.... YAHOO!

He actually did see all of them again.
>>
>>84582758
It was satirizing the way in which 1950s sci-fi thought that every machine would be a robot for some reason. Like why would you give a cleaning robot sentience?
>>
>>84582758
Cause they do a better job of it than people.
>>
Well this was extremely well timed


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yceGT6lrn1Y
>>
>>84624174
I still tell my friends "I'm gonna get you so many lizards" when they save my ass in games and junk
>>
>>84628640
Someone posted it already.
It was pretty good though.
>>
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>Nice knowing you, meatbags. Have fun turning to dust!
>>
Pretty much the entirety of "The Late Philip J. Fry" was excellent.
>>
>>84628640

Idk, nice tribute, but only talked about orginal run in one instance.
No offence, but yeah
>>
>>84621195
>Sure, I can help you, but we might have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil, and by "devil", I mean Robot Devil, and by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
>>
>>84621176

Goddamn that was a good string of jokes in the mental institutuion. Especially the Lincoln.
>>
>>84630656
>he's very excitable, so don't say anything that'll surprise him
>pleased to meet you
>actually we've met once before
>WHAT!!?!?
>explodes
Thread posts: 503
Thread images: 63


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