The Great X-Men Storytime - Vol. 3: New Mutants (Part 22)

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So, I finally finished Mystery of the Emblem recently. Pretty good, a little rough around the edges but not too shabby. Book 2 was a remarkable improvement over Book 1, in both story and music. Now off I go to Genealogy of the Holy War.

>>83648706
So how prominently did the X-Men feature in OG Secret Wars?

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I have to admit, I'm not too fond of this event, it feels kinda shallow and toyetic.

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>>83648860
They get their asses handed to them by Spidey

>>83648825
have you played Conquest?

Also, today the combined covers of Death of X saddened me a bit. I am getting the feel Marvel will kill the X-Men for real, not the characters, but something like depowering/turning them into inhumans/sending them to another planet, reality or timeline. If that happens I will consider them a dead franchise, and the first major comic to have a beginning and end.

>>83648869
name one better Marvel event. besides operation:Galactic Storm

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>>83649022
>have you played Conquest?
Not yet, I haven't even played my copy of Birthright, I'm familiarizing myself with the series a little bit more since I had only played the GBA games, a little of Path of Radiance and the DS remake.

Also, yeah, if Death of X is literally the "end" of the X-Men that's where I'm ending this storytime, even if X-Men comics are still published afterwards.

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>>83649071
Well, that's not an awfully high bar, is it. But, alright: Annihilation

>>83649109
>Path of Radiance
Lucky you have a copy

>>83649071
Inferno.

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>>83649329
I don't, actually! I played it at a friend's house. Not a big fan tbf.

>>83649131
>Annihilation
And conquest

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>>83649357
Eh, it was alright, I suppose.

>>83649277
is Wolvie saying Cap sucks because he has no powers?

>>83649356
http://i.imgur.com/GCDZ7S8.png

>>83649211
>You mutants stick together, huh?

Jeez Hawkeye, don't you work with a pair of mutant? Or was this before the Kooky Quartet days?

>>83649379
I loved both Annihilation.

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>>83649388
Basically, yeah.

>>83648925
Magneto hates being here already.

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>>83649401
Holy Moley.

>>83649474
I saw cheap a few years ago and decided to pass and i regret that decision.

inb4 Colossus ruins his relationship with Kitty

>>83648869
>it feels kinda shallow

Jim Shooter was not a good writer, but he was a good "idea guy" which is great for an editor

>>83649612
I like Doom's dynamic with Galactus.

>>83649871
Funny how magneto seems to be the only mutant that's not jobbing to everyone else.

This is my first time reading Secret Wars, this really does not play to Mike Zeck's strengths. He's great on solo stuff like Spider-Man, The Punisher, Captain America, and Master of Kung-Fu. Here he's clearly having to rush to draw all the characters on each page

>>83649403
This was waay after the Kooky Quartet, that was in the 60's. Clint's just being a dick.

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>>83649923
Definitely, and the inking doesn't help either.

>>83649388
"He's the least of us!" sounds like a weird way for Wolverine to phrase that. Too poetic.

>>83649979
Wasp is Shooter's waifu, right?

>>83648869
That's because it was created due to Mattel wanting to make Marvel action figures and wanting something that could be used to promote it.

>>83650001
Is Magneto hitting on Wasp?

>>83650017
All right, Team Hero has at least TWO people with weather controlling abilities, but they're not doing anything about this shit, because of reasons.

Somebody help me out here.

>>83650035
Yes. Now that I think about it, Magneto is just a more charismatic Pym.

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>>83650026
Oh, I do know that, I'm just saying it doesn't have that "oomph" you'd expect from COIE's contemporary.

>>83650035
Suddenly I want a "What If Magneto Married the Wasp?" and a new What If...? in general that goes full batshit, not just slightly different takes on events.

>>83650067
Also he's a full on Silver Fox. Or I guess by this point he's already been deaged once so he's supposed to be in his prime of early 30's

Wow he's like 15 years older than his children already and I'm pretty sure the High Evolutionary is going to deage him again later. Families really are fucked up in Marvel

>>83650078
>>83650048
No seriously, Storm can control the weather, why isn't she stopping this nonsense.

Why did you drag the X-Men into this bullshit Shooter, they're not doing anything.


REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

>>83650035
Yes. Quite successfully, I might add.

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>>83650098
>Suddenly I want a "What If Magneto Married the Wasp?
Oh please, anon, you know what would happen. Everyone dies at the end

>>83650111
>>83650126
>>83650168
Ah yes, the time Spidey slapped the shit out of the X-Men.

>>83650168
Not everyone, just Spider-Man.

>>83650078
I didn't like all the changes COIE resulted in, but I liked it as a story. This is kind of...there. Like, it's not bad.

>>83650168
>Everyone dies at the end
Yeah most of the What If's I've read are just bad ends in choose your own adventure books.

>>83650185
Scott, Charles is hearing all your thoughts

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Remember that time we saw what would've happened if Bullseye didn't kill Elektra and it turns out everyone lived happily ever after, because 616 Matt is made for suffering? Classic.

>>83650048
Thor's getting off on this, isn't he?

>>83650215
>didn't like all the changes COIE resulted in
There is very little that I missed. The big one was Superman and Batman being best pals

>>83650206
Shooter breaks Janet up with Hank, and sets her up with Mag-fucking-Neto.

The absolute madman.

>>83650283
Well he does have a certain attraction

>>83650313
she wanted to fuck him from the first time she saw him

>>83650226
I'm not sure why. Is it because it's an alternate universe, so the writer feels like they have the freedom to do what they want, and what they want is to kill everyone? Or do they feel the urge to justify mainline continuity by showing alternate realities as bad?

>>83650281
I'm a Legion fan, and the no Superboy/Supergirl thing fucked them up bad. And I also like the JSA, and they got pretty screwed in Crisis.

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>>83650372
A mix of both, I believe.

>>83650186
As a Spideyfag I'm ok with this.

>>83650111
So who at Marvel hated the X-Men?

>>83648869
Didn't Xavier run into the teleporter?

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>captcha is literally 616
wew

>>83650372
>Or do they feel the urge to justify mainline continuity by showing alternate realities as bad?

I feel like it's this. Unless it's a joke What If? Like What If? Peter Parker was Galactus

>>83650434
In this case, Shooter I guess.

>>83650402
Oh right the Legion, yeah the Superboy thing was messy, but it did result in a great story with the Time Trapper

Never really cared for the JSA, but I've been meaning to read All Star Squadron and Infinity Inc

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I may not be a big fan but that is one cool cover.

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Jesus, the music in FE4 is fucking amazing.

>>83649356

Not barely half way the first issue Kang tries to murder Doom.

Has these two ever been on the same side and NOT try to screw the other over?

>>83650521
I've always imagined this scene was basically 20 some pages of Hulk holding up a mountain while everyone else insults and belittles and otherwise pisses him off to keep him strong enough to hold it up.

>>83650258
Or that one where Wanda was an old dying lady but the Vision was fine because he was an android and the whole thing was more quietly sad than full-on murderfest?

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>>83650604
Christ, that sounds sad as hell.

>>83650503
They're good stuff.

>>83650186
Shit, if Iron Fist & Spidey get together they would humiliate the X-Men!

I forgot how much of a jobfest this was.
Still fun though.

>>83650854
> no powder rooms
The Beyonders don't understand the idea of going to the bathroom. It's one of two things in Secret Wars II that are enjoyable

>>83650923
>Secret Wars II
>Enjoyable

Barely indeed. What a mess that was.

>>83650874
> I want to create a world where humans and mutants live together in peace
> You're as bad as Hitler

What the fuck Shooter?

>>83650939
>>83650954
Wait, where is the scene where Iron man sacrifices parts of his armour for the ray thingy and you see he has a black arm?

As a kid, I was completely confused, because I had no idea who Rhody Rhodes was and he is only referred to as Iron Man in Secret Wars.

>>83651101
Dr. Fronk Richards

>>83651153
>Team mates
>Allies
>Mutie Scum
>And Magneto

>>83650665
It was. There's kind of a good end where Jocasta sacrifices herself for Wanda by switching their minds but the whole thing is basically just examining the fact that the immortal Avengers would probably end up watching all their old friends die.

>>83650434
I've heard it said that a lot of folks at Marvel were jealous of X-Men's success.

>>83650923
Is the other Boom-Boom?

>>83651232
>Thunderball and Crusher bonding over their respective weapons
Hheheheheheh.

>>83650168
Actually speaking of What If, are you doing any of the X-Men focused ones? Because that fucking Jubilee/Sabretooth story, man.

>>83651254
Honestly Piledriver, you watched the guy dropped a literal fucking mountain on someone.

You're too dumb to live Piledriver.

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>>83651356
Nope, sorry, I'm doing way too much AU stuff as it is, and, like I said before, I'm running out of space.

>>83651362
Isn't that the Wrecking Crew's deal? They could be bigshots if they weren't such fuckups?

>>83651267
Yes

>>83651422
I'm no expert on Thor, but that sounds about right.

Piledriver just might be the team idiot though.

>>83651356
>Because that fucking Jubilee/Sabretooth story, man.
What if Jubilee was Sabretooth's sidekick? What happened?

>>83651483
Thunderball is actually a pretty swell guy in the second Damage Control mini

>>83650186
This would be the second time Spidey slapped the shit out of the X-men.

>>83651559
>There's no time to move Colossus
>If only we had some way of moving him instantly
>Teleportation perhaps!

I am going to bed, thanks storytimer

>>83651578
First Clint, now Johnny.

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>>83651704
Sweet dreams, anon.

>>83651709
Janet's the kind of girl that was likely the muse of whoever invented ball gags.

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>>83651858
To be fair, it's the Eighties, no one would shut the fuck up.

>>83651841
they made Titania's personality being a violent retard

>>83651821
>Klaw's repeat/echo tic

He's become a humanoid EDM song.

>>83650227
Where did Doom find those dames on this planet that the Beyonder threw together a few hours ago?

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That's all for today, tomorrow we wrap up Secret Wars! Until then!

>>83651805
>I was killed by Dazzler!
>And you admit this freely?

>>83652074
That's a little simplistic, it's basically just "What if you actually gave a 98-pound weakling superstrength?"

>>83652139
She beat Doom, Nightmare and a Herald of Galactus too.

Crazy as it sounds, but that Disco Singer ain't no one to fuck with.

Holy jeeze, there's ... there's just too many plotholes! ... too many plotholes... I... I can't take any more...

Let's focus on just that one fight:
Why does Spiderman attack the X-Men? He catches them talking about getting he hell outa there, my god, what kind of police state planet are they on?
Okay, Spidey kicks their butts, that's actually plausible, BUT Nightcrawler never Bamfs once to try to outmaneuver Webhead? It's the thing he does.
And Rogue's not powerful enough to break webs "as strong as steal cable"?
And Cyke... MY GOD! He took down Quicksilver. He took down Quicksilver. All on his own.
Spiderman was just too fast for him?
And to top it all off, when the fight ends there's Cyke and Reed; "Hey let's share our feelings five more times during this storyline!"

The. Hell. ?

>>83652670
The Beyonder didn't like the X-Men, therefore he made them pathetic shadows of themselves that would get beat up by his favorites. Where's my No-Prize?

>>83651517
Not a sidekick but a jumping off from Uncanny #311 where Sabretooth breaks loose due to the power core of the mansion going offline. In the What If issue he manages to kill Bishop and Beast leaving him to stalk Jubilee around the mansion. She gets him to attack the power core making him think it was just a Danger Room hologram and he just starts chasing her as a horrific-looking burn victim before she finally disables the Danger Room's safeties which causes the laser to slice him to ribbons killing him. It's a really good horror story written by DnA.

>>83651423
I love Galactus' little Punisher guard dogs.

>>83652983
You know, Marvel actually did mail those out to people.

>>83653002
I read that one. It was based on an identical set-up in an X-Men story where (of course)nobody dies.

>>83653328
(I hit the post tab too soon.) I remember that Beast spent the entire issue in the reactor core and Jubes was running around scared to death as Creed did that claws-on-a-chalkboard thing but I forget how it ended. Was it Bishop who showed up in the last second?

>>83651254
Damn. What a lucky guy

>>83651891
>>83651905
I wonder which Claremont loved more about this story: Xavier going full dictator or Colossus forgetting about Kitty in favor of some random catgirl healer?

>>83653328
Yeah, it's specifically a horror take on Uncanny #143 which was Byrne's last issue. And you've got it sort of right and wrong in that Bishop is the one who keeps Sabretooth's attention and Jubilee shows up at the last second to hit him with a taser whereas here Bishop's killed right out of the gate.

>>83654390
I would bet you an infinity gem that Claremont was okay with the whole swinging scene. The alien bestiality probably wouldn't have rubbed him the wrong way either.

>>83654464
You're right, Claremont's waifuism is weird like that.

>>83652124
Thank you, X-Anon.

>>83654448
The What-if was better all around. Except for three major (jerk) characters being bumped off everything about it was just done better.
But that would have still been epic X history, instead everyone in that story has since had a moral inversion of one type or another, and the only one who's dead is Jubilee.
It's crazy how far away from a characterization a decade or two can take you.

>>83654390
>>83654485
I don't really know if that is out of character for ProfessorX. The early stories had him mindwiping everyone, and the backup origin stories for Cyclops, Iceman, and Beast are simply cringe-inducing with all the mindpower abuses that happen.

>>83654946
Cyclops explicitly says at one point he's acting like he was when he first formed the X-Men.

>>83655947
The ultimate X-Men arch-nemesis, if ever there was one.

>>83649748
>Doombase

bump (I am still reading)

Jesus, the jobbing doesn't bother me much, but all of the X-Men feel really out of character in this. Also, this could easily be an eight or even six issue series, and would be much the better for it.

now its official. The 2 Secret Wars events were bad.

>>83656046
Scott should have taken over the X-men while Xavier focused on the school since kids with bad pasts and new powers sometimes need to be shut down or peaked in their heads. Storm is barely sane with her tendency toward delusions of grandeur/godhood.

>>83649247
Ah, my favorite part of an event, when I ask "Is everyone blind and stupid?"

>>83648825
Man, where is Monica Rambeau these days?

>>83660641
Ultimates