You have an accident at work. The superpowers you get as a result

I have the ability to count money faster than any human alive. They call me "The Human Calculator!"

>>83475077

>Student

So do I get no powers or...?

I study criminology. So what, criminal mastermind?

>>83475077
I do auto insurance so I guess my power would be being able to explain anything to any brain dead retard.

>>83475077
The organ harvester
harvest human or animal organs for consumption or medicinal purposes

>>83475118
That's just autism, Anon.

>>83475077
I actually do a physically laborious job, so I'm claiming super strength. get lost you white collar losers.

>car wash
Either I get cool water powers or I can turn into a car.

>>83475077
I volunteer at a charity shop, mostly steaming clothes today so could get something pretty useful in a fight like being able to shoot blazing steam at people but on the other hand might instead end up being turned into a horrifically burnt mutant-freak who has to hide in the darkness away from the judging eyes of men.

I'm unemployed and homeless. Can get powers based in that. Like spare change telekinesis. Or I could fly around on cardboard but only when lying down. Or maybe I just get drunk...that's it my power is I just get spontaneously drunk.

I'm a waiter, so I guess I can now wait a lot of tables.

>>83475228
You're homeless and yet you spend your time and energy browsing 4chan?

>>83475077

>Get paid to LARP with a bunch of kids
>Get paid to DM for a bunch of kids

They call me...Autismo

>EMT
I can resurrect people

>Medical insurance

I

am

the

UNDERWRITER!

Wood shop!!! I have very hard wood 24/7!!!!

>>83475077
Superhuman organizational skills

I rent myself out to my local criminal organization

Geotechnical engineering, so... earth bending?

>>83475077

"The Freelancer"

I use my design and animation powers to manifest a shitload of actual lances to fuck people up with.

>>83475077
I can pull information from datastreams shot all over the world by satellites. I will be call misinformation man.

I'm in the military so what would I get?

>>83475077
I'm a systems/data analyst. Suddenly I see everything like Neo in the Matrix.

>>83475077
I sell Mattresses. What accident could happen?

>>83475370
Your body becomes the consistency of a matress. The downside is you can never get erect again.

>>83475370

Bitten by a radioactive Serta

>>83475358
Gun-mancy
control and manipulation over all guns

>>83475358
to be in hydra

Start Up, with the amazing powers of corporate and securities law focused on tech and media startups!

>>83475262
How the fuck did you get that job?

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>Customer Service with a few heavy lifting and inventory here and there
Apathetic empowerment. Basically an apathetic version of Gladiator

>>83475261
What the fuck else would I be doing? I'm homeless.

>>83475120
just debt

>>83475077
>Author
I'm either a horribly broken reality warper, or Kishibe Rohan

either way, I'll call myself Scribe

>>83475399
>Gun-mancy
The correct term is free spirited american you bigot

>>83475077
I'm surprised I'm the first programmer. I work with algorithm development so I guess I'd become Vision or something like that. Maybe movie Zola.

>>83475077
I get the power to seal my enemys inside vacuum bags.

>>83475370
Dream powers

>Human resources manager
so i get to say who gets powers and who doesnt?

I work in shipping, so... teleportation?

>>83475077
>English as a Second Language Teacher
I spend most of my time writing on the board, so how about Energy Construct Creation, but to the extent of my own artistic ability, which is crap.

>>83475077
I'm a cartoonist. My superpower would be to making a living as a cartoonist

I gain all of the powers of AutoCAD, able to create force lines of near-boundless length and thinness, which can be combined and worked into wireframe structures that take on illusory properties of whatever they are meant to resemble.

>>83475427

Unfettered nepotism. Literally, my friend who crashed on my couch for two years created the LARP system they use (it's based off of Amtgard, if you know it) and so I started working there because I helped him playtest the system so I know it about as well as he does.

The DMing is because it's hard to find someone with the patience to DM for children that can run three different D&D systems.

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>>83475223
You could be a magic armorer! Weave textiles that are invulnerable and can levitate their wearers and whatnot.

I cook so I guess, I dunno? Pyromancy? Maybe be the world's best swordsman with superior nippon katana folded 1000 times?

I work at a comic shop, can I just be Superman?

>>83475077
>Technical Support Analyst
I help those in need by superanalyzing everything, coming to the best conclusions possible given the situation, while telling you what an idiot you are for making such decisions.

>>83475510
I thought AutoCAD was the filename for the resources Buckley uses to copy paste all of his comics.

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>>83475399

But does he get to do the dance

I'm a zookeeper, so I guess you can call me Elizo Thornberry

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Sysadmin,
A time traveller from the future my ship crashed with a random firmware error.

Now stuck on Earth, he tries to right wrongs with his technopathy powers. Technopathy, but with the downside of having to record everything I do on an excel document.

Future police called quality assurance visit him twice a year to make sure he is "playing by the rules" and "has the proper documentation".

In a freak Internet accident, I became the OverAnalyst, gaining the power to instantly access anything held on a network with my mind.

>>83475351
>>83475368
Looks like we have a super group here.

>>83475077

>THE ADMINISTRATOR

I put that in allcaps because my superpower is being able to put things in a spreadsheet real fast. I guess SHIELD has to have a typing pool, right?

I work at an autoshop as the custodian, porter, and groundskeeper.

I guess my power is to be able to do anything fast. I can mow lawns ten times faster than any other man, drive a customer back to their house twenty times faster than any normal car, and mop any mess faster than you can say my name.

>>83475077
IT sysadmin.

If this was a comic book it'd be control over everything computer-related, though knowing my luck it'd be something mundane like the ability to refill ink and toner for printers automatically.

>3d artist
guess I'm getting a power ring

>>83475599

good one, anon.

>>83475617

You will have the powers of the wolf, hawk, puma and bear

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>work at a candy store
CANDY ELEMENTAL

>>83475077
>taxi driver

Overdrive powers? Maybe Autoempathy or something.

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>>83475358
You get a sweet costume. You are part of an elite super team. You have peak human conditioning (lol), and high tech weapons and equipment. The citizens of the city see you and damn near worship you. You'll learn to say "all in a day's work" as they thank you for saving the city. You get amazing resources like training (education) and regenerative abilities (tricare).

But the other higher ranking members of the super team treat your like their bitch. You stand guard at the Hall of Heroes for 15 hours without a any break. Superman constantly yells at you, and you have to bow to him when you see him. You have to drive the super truck. Your the sidekick of "The Lieutenant" who has no experience, but "the best ideas". You are constantly having to be the Penny to his Inspector Gadget. You have the shittist rogue's gallery of just Arabs and more Arabs, slowly making you the most racist superhero.

You are "America's Bitch"

I can now melt solid steel with my fingers
I will call myself Jet Fuel

>>83475077
Science Teacher, so the door's wide open.

>super knowledge
>super charisma
>some sort of mutant/radiation powers

Hmm...

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>>83475077
>You have an accident at work. The superpowers you get as a result of this are based upon your job.

Archivist.

Basically show me any piece of writing and I could dox everyone involved in its production, were it not for my strict code of conduct. Such as it is, I'm just going to document everything neatly in an easily accessible form and keep it under lock for exactly a hundred years.

>>83475077
Health Informatics

I know everyone's most hidden and coveted secrets, including some things they themselves do not know. Yet, I am unable to divulge these secrets. I end up being that frustrating hero/villain that constantly talks in riddle, and am often the butt of the snarky side characters comments.

>>83476798
the hero we need

>eco advocacy firm legal department desk jockey

Lawyer by day, The Reforester by night! Disassembling wooden buildings (probably substandard housing) and planting nailed together planks in the ground to save the trees

costume is just green daredevil

if only I could land a job that would pay for law school2

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>>83475077

They call me...

THE SERVER

My powers are based on poorly-understood and improperly applied jargon!

"My vectors will stop those criminals in their tracks!"

"It only took me fifteen GPU cycles to determine every one of your possible reactions, and they all end in failure!"

"You have no chance against my unbreakable InfiniBands!"

"NUMA!"

I guess I become one with computers

I work for the BBC.

I already have super molestation powers.

>>83475204
lucky bastard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDCxNHyND68

>>83475077
comic writer
the ability to write reality, but it only works if it is plausible to happen. Meaning i can't make someone do something he would never do nor change the laws of physics

>I'm disabled and periodically can't see, speak, or move my upper body and therefore can't work
So I become the bastard child of Daredevil, Black Bolt, and upside down Professor X?

>>83477960
How are you seeing this?

>>83477960
Dou tyopos scerw wiht JAWS softwere?

>>83475077
>teacher

Uh...do I gain knowledge or something?

>>83475077
>nursing
Super Scrub
healing.

>>83475272
You're fucked. They always take the healers out first.

>machinist

polymorphism to an absolute degree of accuracy

call me Tolerance

>male prostitute
ummm...

>>83475077
I create a field in which everyone is mentally balanced and well.

>>83475077
>work
>job


Nothing I guess

>>83478115
you can fit anything in your G-string..... anything...

>>83475370
More springs, Joshua

>>83475077
>Between jobs for like a month after moving to a different state.

Before that, I was at a truly awful job for longer than I should have stayed. I also became kind of an asshole to cope. I'd probably be able to alter others' perceptions, or get something food poisoning related.

But being more optimistic, I've got ten years of food service under my belt. Usually mid to high scale, high volume, physically demanding jobs like busser or dishes. I'd probably have gotten the ability to be in multiple places simultaneously.

>>83478012
>periodically
I have conversion reaction disorder mimicking hemispheric paroxysmal nonkinesigenic dyskinesia. It's episodic and the specific symptoms I have during any given episode range from a slight facial twitch to being slumped over into a spasming ball.

Right now I'm seeing this out of my right eye.

>>83475120
the power to learn shit super fast maybe, I'm a student too and that's what comes to my mind like being able to decipher the inner workings of things in no time

can't come up with a name other than Prodigy thought

>>83475077
I work at outpatient surgery.

Medicine Man. Healer for hire.

>>83475077
I have the ability to get my fucking head crushed in at any given moment. I'm a stage hand.

>QA

I know how to break anything in ways no one would possibly expect but would be blatantly obvious if you'd just stop and think for two fucking seconds.

>>83478845
So you're 5?

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>>83475077
I get send to do drug testing and then fired immediately.

I'm a cashier/guest service at Target sooo..

Maybe I could pop my chest out like a cash register and hit suckers

My name is Anonymous. And I am THE CASHEST MAN ALIVE.

I used to be an ordinary cashier. But then, the unthinkable happened! To the rest of the world, I'm just an ordinary part-time employee. But with the help of my friends at work, I sell lotto tickets and bag goods for other metahumans like me. I am the most accurate cashier alive.

I am... The Cash!

I work moving and cutting metal all day.

D-do I get to be Magneto?

>>83475118
Oy

>>83478496
Actually a good power though. Either that or become some sort of booze based frat hulk.

>>83479719
You can be Colossus. Have fun being relevant!

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I work in a baby store...

>>83475077
Anthropologist here. Do I get the ability to speak any human language? That would actually be really cool.

>>83475077

I clean pools as a living applying chemicals, brushing, and skimming.

I am hydrokinetic

I get glue-powers and call myself Bond. James Bond.

>>83475228
>>83475261
>>83475436
Someone should turn this into a banner

>>83479163
>Cashpoint
My name is Anonymous, and I am the cashest man alive. I defeated the man who filled the return for my mother, but in doing so, I opened our store to new customers. Now, customers are coming over to our store, from theirs. And I am the only man cash enough to ring them out.

I am the cashest man alive. I am... The Cash!

Last time on: The Cash
>What kind of name is "Anon Emoose?"
>A name from the future.
>Anon, sometimes... you just need to let a discount go.
>But, if I can change a transaction before it happens, then why shouldn't I?!
>You don't remember, do you?! I wasn't the one who made that sale, Anon... YOU were!

And now, the conclusion...

I donate plasma.

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>Actor
Shapeshifting? Maybe with some vocal mimicry.

I'll call myself Maskman

>>83475737
Nah you're getting the power to teleport to India, China, or Canada

>>83475077
The Animator

I can stay awake for up to 3 days and survive on tea, coffee, and small biscuits

>>83475077
I can draw pornography faster than anyone.
Or maybe I can make 2D waifus real?
Cartoonpornoman I guess.

>>83478496
Batman already has that super power

I... am... The Distributor! Designer of power distribution systems and master of ArcFM/GIS design systems!

I can cut your power. All of it.

>>83475077
I work a computer desk job; so I guess I get the ability to talk to computers/interface with digital technology?

>>83478496
I read
>the power to shit super fast
I wonder what that would imply.

>science teacher

Fuck if I know, something related to communication or information, I guess.

>uber driver
I cant teleport myself and up to 4 people from one place to another.

>>83477728
Your upgrade will be becoming an Afghani Catholic.

>>83483293
You can trap people in illusions of their greatest fetish.

>>83475120
you're basically Task Master, where you can use any skill or be an expert in anything, but you can only have one active "Expertise" at one time. The minute you stop focusing, or "Cramming", on a subject you lose the expertise until you focus on it again.

You are THE CRAMMER!

I'm a torpedoman on a submarine. Did I just become Namor?

Sterilizing medical instruments of bio burden...

Breaking down and destroying biological life powers?

Guess I'm I villain.

>>83483342
To be fair, he has this one, too. >>83478151

>>83475077
I'm a land surveyor so I guess I get super sight and some kind of light reflecting power.

>>83475077
>vidya tester
Do I get the power to debug command reality or just be super-nitpicky?

>>83485722
Clearly you become Torpedo-Man.
Like Human Bullet from The Tick, but underwater only.

Drainage Engineer

I'll take Water Bending. Finally a superpower thread where I get one that doesn't suck

>>83475077
Super penetration testing? So I'm basically Felicity Smoak now? Ew.

>>83475370
You accidentally remove a tag from one

>>83486096
You get Groundhog Day powers, the ability to repeat the same thing over and over again.

I'm a nurse assistant in an alzheimers and dementia ward. So I guess I can wipe poopy butts really easily and push uteruses back in?

>>83475370
You sit down on a display mattress that a supervillian has peed on with his radioactive urine.

>>83486632
Yeeep, sounds about right.

>>83475077
Either of these:

I can edit my immediate surroundings, pausing, slowing down or speeding up time around me and can remove or add moments from my past?

Or

I can hand out roses that cause people to be enamored with me.

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>>83475228

>I work at Takata
explode and fill enemies with shrapnel

but seriously I'd just be a guy that tells you to always wear your seatbelt

>>83475077
>Student
>Unemployed
>Browse 4chan extensively
I think Id get super shitposting powers.I'll call myself "The Australian"

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>>83480305
>Underrated power

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>>83475077
>museum guard
I have minor telekinesis, good for pushing people away from paintings

> I work at Starbucks
> I have a terrible accident involving the Clover brewer
> I'm infused with coffee beans and have not only the ability to hype people up, but to also overcharge them for the stuff I do

I am known as... The Brewer Buster

>>83487318
>Not becoming Booster Gold

>>83487318
>Not inducing Night at the Museum at every museum you enter

>>83487420
You should also have the ability to induce the need for a post-coffee shit in others.

I verify the work of surveyors both in term of geometry and respect of the cadastre. I have no idea.

>liquor store

I'm either Cirrhosis Man or Jesus.

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I'm an unemployed loser. My super power is the ability to avoid all responsibility while simultaneously summoning the means of lazy living without effort.

>>83475077
I'm a dishwasher. Either I become immune to all toxins and poisons, or I have a horrific bleach related accident and can only survive in ammonia environments, like a bleachy Mr. Freeze.

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>>83487694

>>83487694
>bleachy Mr. Freeze
gold

I have a part-time job at a beauty salon watching tanning beds so people don't fall asleep there


My power is preventing death, but only if that death would be caused by an absurd or irreverent cause

For example, I would be able to prevent Dick's death in Injustice

I'm a neet so I can shitpost at inhuman levels.

>Barwork
I guess I can make my enemies drunk.

>>83475077
>welding
Fick yeah. Could generate fire or extreme heat. Ir maybe molten metal manipulation.

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>>83488675

I'm a dentist. I'm probably more destined for villainy t b h

>>83475077
>Delivery guy

Does that mean I'm either a Speedster or some form of temporal manipulator?

I'm able to hasten any drive thru line as quickly as possible.

Or super tolerance.

>>83487302
Even in a world full of superpowered crazies, translators will always be needed. And I can finally figure out just what the fuck is up with Linear A

>>83484697
>THE CRAMMER
That sounds wrong

>>83475077
I'm a chemist. What do I get?

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>>83475437

I make lotion...I AM THE MOISTURIZER!

>>83475077

I can tell you the exact dimensions of anything I touch to an accuracy of a couple microns...

I am...Measureman? Metrologyman? Metrolo? Dorctor Metrology?

>>83475077
Super dude extraordinaire Freakazoid Freakazoid

>>83475228
cardboard iron man

>>83475077
>graphic design
>color manipulation

fuck you OP

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>>83475077

Neko Case is a lovely thing. She needs to do more adult swim shows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXl870NoF4E

Also, I guess my superpower would be pointing out the flaws in the designs of user interfaces, then tell the developer around me to redo it.

It's not that interesting =/

>>83478496
Wasn't that the power that Syler had from Heroes?

I work outta the home

>job is slicing pizzas
>name is logan
I'm the best at what I do but what I do doesn't pay very much

>>83475077

I'm a sports radio host. What fucking power even comes from that? If I have an accident at work, I get fired and the FCC fines me.

>I wash dishes

Well, I guess I can withstand high temperatures of water, my skin becomes impenetrable, and my body can reject chemicals that would otherwise be poisonous.

Better call myself "The Viper".

I work with a lot of herbs and essential oils so I guess I'd be a rule 63 Poison Ivy?

>>83475077
>unemployed

Shit.

>>83491822
You'll be able to dictate the outcome of the game.

Super Soldier with mild technopathy.

>>83475077
>animal shelter
>turn into an old, sick cat that nobody wants

>>83475077
I have a legion of Japanese school kids at my beckoning?

Private investigator.

Am I The Question?

>>83475439
Good name

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>>83493304
He was a reporter.
You're Slam Bradley

>>83493589
>imokaywiththis

>>83493093
Mary Cagle pls stay in japan teaching cute little niplets

>>83475118
So basically Ben Affleck as the Accountant

>>83483496
Flash has that power

I work customer service in a grocery store.

Do I roll a 20 on every charisma event or something of that origin.

>Works 2 jobs: A Library Circulation Desk, and an Airport Headphone/electronics/entertainment retail job.

I'll go with the longest of them.

Since my library is in a Catholic school system, I get Catholic styled Angelic Magic.

And I'm an Atheist, which makes it funnier

>>83475127
greatest detective?

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>>83475077
>What powers do you get? What do you call yourself?

>>83475077
I work with Literal retards, so I guess I gain the ability to manipulate the minds of those mentally weaker than me.

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>>83475261
This is fucking gold!

I work in corrections so super strength hopefully. That or the ability to mind control people. Or get out of any kind of argument.

>>83475077
I work at a hardware store where people commonly try to find uncommon uses for items to fix issues unrelated to those pieces. Of the staff that works there, I'm the most knowledgeable and the least susceptible to groaning at these retarded requests. The work-related accident also somehow darkens my skin.

They shall call me
The Nigger-Rigger

I have the power to be the cutest cam trap alive

I'm a cook.

The best power I could think of is the Italian dude from JJBA that fucking cleaned out JoJo's impurities after eating his salad.

I have two jobs dude? Which is it, Delivery Driver or Childcare counselor?

I have telekinesis with cardboard. And gasoline powers.

>>83495948
Pic?

>>83475399
That sounds like a very /k/ superpower

>Welder

Meltman! With the power to meelllt.

>>83475077
>Work at a Zoo
>Become basically Animal Man
Guess who gets to meet Grant Morrison.

>Bus mechanic

I can fix anything mechanical, and craft new things too.

Call me Mendamech.

>>83495549
Quick, you're our only hope

run for president!

>>83496364
But thats not what this thread or board is for.

Plus I dont wanna potentially derail the thread

>>83475190
Hey fellow blue collar bro.

I climb a lot of ladders lift heavy pipes and take measurements all day. Maybe I'd have strength and wall climbing like spider man but instead of webs I'd shoot magnetic tape measure from my hands.

>>83489840
Mr. Micrometer.

im currently unemployed, so i spend a ll day masturbating and daydreaming.

i have the ability to make things like porn i guess.

>>83475077
>security guard at a lumber mill

I become protector of nature and forests to repent?

Telemarketer

THE RINGER
>I understand that you really want to rob this bank, however, have you considered that extremely powerful heroes are on their way to beat you up right now? Can i ask you, have you considered handing yourself over to the cops and avoid all the grievous wounds?
>Criminals suddenly feel the compulsion to give themselves in
Unfortunately, the power of suggestion only works on minions, thugs, the dim witted and comic relief villains.

Additionally, the power comes with the ability to handle troublesome and/or outdated computer programs and extreme multitasking, so I can fight bad guys as new bad guys pour in.

Also, get these guys
>>83475129
>>83475277
>>83475410
>>83475579
>>83475658
>>83483469

And found the JUSTICE OFFICE.

I work at a warehouse. So super strength? Let's fight crime, /co/mrades.

I'm bullshit man. My super senses and power of flight let me home in on anyone telling a lie and call them out on their bullshit

>I.T
>Translations
>I translated a couple of Engineering videos

The power to understand every language, both mathematical, machine or human.
Call me Babel....what a rip off.

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>>83498128
You and I are enemies now.

I flip pinball machines.

My super power is to fatally crush people who are standing adjacent to pinball machines.

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>>83475077
Miniature caster/sculpture
My miniatures/sculpts come to life?

>>83475077
I work at Jimmy John's so I become imbued with the "Freaky Fast Force"

>self checkout attendant

I am The Sentinel.
I watch over all.
I cannot be moved.

You need help? Too bad.
I don't do that.
I watch,, always.

I will see you fail.
I will see you fall.

>>83498477
I dub thee Pinball Wizard.

>>83475077
Lab tech. Turns out that accidents don't give you super powers but second degree burns instead.

Im a metrology lab engineer
So I just get either super dimensioning powers allowing me to measure correctly any measurable thing or a big fucking vernier to shank people with

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>>83475077
>Fusion researcher

It's been done.

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>>83475077

>>83475077
IM A WATERBENDER
im a plumbing and heating installer.....

>>83475077
Slackerman, with the power to sit in a sofa, or chair, or in fact any plane surface, for hours on end doing almost entirely nothing.
When boosted, I shall also eat pizza while sitting down!

Awesome.

>>83475118
I work at a Gas Station. Not sure what to do with it but I'm sure it's high tier

>>83475077
MMA gym.

I guess I get bit by a radioactive Georgian or something.

Network Engineer

my shitposts now have the power to take down websites

>>83475077

>customer service agent for a credit card company

A silver tongue and the power to kill people with debt.

I work at an Amazon warehouse so, what would be a power for that?

>>83504252

Running.

>>83504193

SysAdmin here. If I get powers we can form the League of Computational Justice

>>83504256
Speedforce? Fuck yeah.

>>83475077
>NEET
I, uh... Yeah.

>>83475077
Electrician that's been working at a church. Am I Thor now?

Front-end-web-developer-man.

>>83504439

Invisibility.

>>83504520
I guess that fits.

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I have been waiting for this day.

I work as an overnight cook/clerk in a Gas Station with a Deli. Everyone is constantly burning themselves and dealing with drunk assholes from the Casino down the lane.

I can channel my frustration through burning punches, but the less I care the stronger I become, but that will make my form sloppier. My uniform acts as a power restraint, constantly reminding me why I should care.

>>83477757
Wtf was that

I am the KINDERMINDER

if you don't get back to the carpet, you don't get snacktime and have to clean up while everyone else plays outside

>>83475077
Military photographer? I am "The Long Lens Luminary" The power to produce perfect images just by putting my hands together in the "frame" motion. Pretty shitty power but made up for by the fact that I have natural camouflage?
Not much use in a straight fight but a good supporting character I guess.

>>83504839
Kenshiro was a surgeon?

>>83475077
>3rd Shift Security Guard

I use a CB radio, take info from truck drivers, and play video games/read/draw for eight hours straight.

What powers could I get?

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accountant...

so am i Arthur from the tick,
or do I become fraction jackson?

or do I end up like the flavor text on pic related and can hebroo up your mortgage interest?

>Salesman
I guess I'm the Purple Man now.

>>83497906
I would buy every issue and cry every page

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>>83506373
Yes.

Also his sister and descendent were surgeons.

Fryer mechanic.

I become living, burning grease after being scalded by the undoubtedly radioactive oil crust that forms on the under and inside of those fuckers.

>>83485848
nigga youre a living cure to cancer

I'm headmaster of a beauty academy, my powers are superhuman patience and can telepathically induce women to solve simple problems using common fucking sense. my name would be The Direktor.

>>83475477
You'd probably be recruiting for shield/hydra.

I work at a liquor store.

You're all doomed

>>83475077
I am the ultimate facilitator.
My powers of production have gone beyond any mere mortal I am now...
The Producitor!

Machine Man

with the power to machine.

>>83475118
Are you black? Because if you are, you are totally missing out on being Count Chocula.

>Overnight Stocker
I guess I have super strength, but only at night.

>>83477653
>THE SERVER
Does not bring my drinks and food to the table. Worst name ever, just bring me my check so I can leave.

I work in sales. So I guess I can convince anyone to do anything?

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>>83510205

>>83475228
>Or I could fly around on cardboard
Shining shimmering SQUALID

I work at a deli

I guess since I use a slicer I have steel blades and what not

I sell Porn, Sex Toys, Stripper Heels, and Quasi-Legal Drugs.

I don't really want to know what kind of super powers I get.

I'm a pool monitor and trash collector, so I don't know. I can clean shit really well? While blasting nigger music?

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>>83475077
>casino security

I guess I'm the Punisher but with an insane stroke of luck?

>>83475502
Yeah good fuckin luck

The Temple! Whenever a superhero is oit due to injury I will be there to take their place! But all of my powers are slightly worse then who I'm replacing and I get paid less!

Fedex package handler. I'm basically the box ghost. beware.

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>>83475118
That's not too bad

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I'm a computer engineering student with an IT job for Sprint alongside a 2nd job making custom suits.

Sounds like I'm gonna be more of a concierge to/outfitter of heroes than a hero myself. Fuck.

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>>83475077
>Intern at local underground art gallery

MY POWERS OF DRINKING COFFEE AND LAZYING AROUND HAS NEVER BEEN SUCCEEDED BY MORTAL MEN

>>83514678
Whatever powers you do end up getting I'm sure you'll have the best costume.