HELP /co/ I THINK I'M LITERALLY HAVING A HEART ATTACK

>>78494085
CALL 911

>>78494099
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIELD I DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE IT

>>78494085
/adv/ >>>>>>

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B-but I promised to take Timmy to the circus to tomorrow!

>>78494133

make peace with the universe
head towards the light
have no regrets

>>78494085

I'LL SAVE YOU, ANON!

I CAN SAVE EVERYONE!

Take a deep, count to ten and shake it off.

>>78494133
But you're posting on 4chan...

>>78494215
BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO
THAT NEW SUPERMAN MOVIE COMES OUT NEXT YEAR AND I REALLY WANT TO WATCH IT
NOT THAT I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE REAL SUPERMAN OR ANYTHING

>>78494274
IS THAT YOU SON?
HURRY UP ALREADY
I DON'T THINK I CAN HOLD OUT FOR MUCH LONGER

>>78494305


>he doesn't know about wi-fi

>>78494305
THIS FUCKING PREPAID ONLY ALLOWS ME TO USE THE INTERNET
I CAN'T EVEN CALL ANYONE WITH IT
WHAT A RIP-OFF
WITH MY DYING BREATH I CURSE VERIZON

>>78494085
What are your symptoms?

Shooting pain in your legs? Shooting pain in either of your arms? Are you dizzy, ready to faint ?

Crushing / full feeling in your chest? Sharp pain in your left chest pectoral ( that could mean you either have gass, or a blood clot in your lungs)?

Sudden back pain between your shoulder blades? Sudden lower back pain (that's actually a symptom arterial aneurysm, pancreatic cancer, gall bladder disease, cirrhosis is of the liver, kidney stones and imminent kidney failure)?

Digestion stomach ache or having a feeling of a full stomach ( that's the biggest sign of an impending heart attack)

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>>78494085
I can save you, because I'm the closest thing you have to superman right now.

>>78495195
>>78495246
I
I
I DON'T THINK I CAN
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>78495246
Waid fuck off with your terrible bullshit, a man is having a heart attack here!

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>>78495324
>>78495330
Everyone chill out, Max is here.
Don't worry Mr.Kent, I'm going to make a small cut in you chest and try to fix this, lucky for you I haven't sleep in a week.

>>78494320
>>78494338
voice.google.com

>>78494085
PAAAAAA!

>>78494085
Next time, don't be such a fat piece of shit and have a heart attack, hmmm?