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ALL smurfs are male Smurfette is a trap They are all gay and

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Thread replies: 29
Thread images: 7

File: smurf.gif (15KB, 480x365px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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ALL smurfs are male
Smurfette is a trap
They are all gay and they love it
>>
>>77653706
They aren't anything at all. New smurfs appear on blue moons. No reproductive act is required for that.
>>
>>77653795
I never said they had to reproduce
>>
>>77653949
Maleness only exists for the purpose of reproduction. You can't call something male and not have it be about sex.
>>
>>77654449
>implying sex is only for reproduction.
>>
>>77654472
It is.
That it's actually used for something else doesn't mean anything.
Hell, most people get off on everything except for the sex act with sex being something that is just the culmination of or release of a lot of physical sensations.
>>
>>77654472
It is only enjoyable because it is how your animal instincts trick you into making children.
>>
Everyone should learn a thing from Donnie Darko
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0tlNZ6gVBc
>>
>>77653706
Smurfette is not a trap, she's a golem. Gargamel made her out of clay and used magic to bring her to life. Then Papa Smurf pulled some sort of spell to make her blonde and nice.
>>
Papa Smurf, can I lick your ass?
>>
Vanity should become a trap. He'd do it just as an excuse to put on makeup.
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>>77656705
YEAH LICK MY ASS, BITCH
>>
>>77653706
>>
File: image.jpg (215KB, 560x339px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>77653706
Makes sense
>>
In the CG Smurfs movie, Smurfette was said to be a literal trap. I don't mean literal as a filler word, she was actually a trick by Gargamel to catch the Smurfs, according to the movie's bizarre canon.
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File: SmurfetteCreation1.jpg (33KB, 400x300px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>77660014
>according to the movie's bizarre canon
You mean according to canon period. That's always been true, though when Gargamel made her she looked like a regular Smurf with eyelashes and black hair. Papa turned her into the blonde bimbo.

Sorry for the lame pic with giant watermark, I don't have anything better on hand.
>>
File: image.jpg (47KB, 543x271px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Seems like Smurfs are like ants with only one active female breeder at a time. Granny is the oldest smurf and probably is the origin of the other smurfs of the show. Once she dies either a new one would arise or one of the existing ones would shift to female like clown fish do. The artificially generated females would have caused disturbances if the granny wasn't already at the end of her reproductive cycle. Probably when Smurfette start breeding Sassette will have her development halt until Smurfette is gone serving as a female backup.
>>
>>77654472
>implying sex is only for reproduction.
It is, biologically.

That's its entire purpose.
>>
Smurfs, technically speaking, aren't male or female. As >>77653795 said, smurf 'reproduce' on a blue moon. When a literal stork comes to the village to drop off a baby. They don't have genitals of any kind, or even nipples/breasts
Smurfette was created by gargamel to make the smurfs fight over her, cause despite having no reproductive habits, or even physical means to do so, they still wanna fuck her.
>>
File: smurf sexuality.jpg (34KB, 560x208px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>77660622
Smurfs/the last of us crossover when?
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>>77653706
>>
>>77653706
That little nub at the back of their trousers?
It's not a rail.
They all do the tuck and stuff.
>>
>>77660622
For a minute I thought it was a pbf comic
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>>77660622
Most parasites reproduce sexually (unless you count microorganisms, then they reproduce by mitosis, or viruses who reproduce by altering a host's DNA or RNA).
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>>77661352
another fact check: Smurfs don't actually exist.
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>>77661352
the smurfs might not be the sexual form with the sexual reproduction happening in the host by the parasitic form of the smurf.
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>>77661362
I was saying that Smurf knowns smurf-all about biology.

>>77661365
That makes sense.
>>
Papa Smurf's beard releases fungal spores. These spores are carried into the wind. Most of the spores never develop into anything, but on rare occasions, they will lodge in a very specific incubation area, the nest of a stork. The stork will care for this creature until the traditional delivery date, a blue moon, upon which it will be delivered to the smurf village in return for a tribute of some sort.
Thread posts: 29
Thread images: 7


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