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"Hi, it's Vince with Slap Chop!
You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop.
Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done.
This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now.
Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream."
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"The reason you’re going to slap away everyday is cause its so easy to clean. One. Two, and pops open like that like a butterfly. Now these other ones you see at the stores. Bacteria gets on the food, all the stores have this. You can’t clean it! You can’t open this up its worthless! Forget about it. Now take the Slap Chop, put it back together, and you get the garlic. Now here’s the garlic, with the skin. There you go -- de-skins the garlic. You’re going to eat more garlic. The onions with the skin, alright this is making you cry making me cry. Alright life’s hard enough as it is. You don’t wanna cry anymore. Put the Slap Chop right there, the skins at the bottom. And look at this you want a little bit of onions, you don’t wanna drag out the food processor. The skin, comes right off! You see that? Alright now you put a tomato in there. Add your cilantro, your hot peppers right there. You hit it like this. Guys we’re going to make America skinny again. One slap at a time!
"It's very quick -- it's a time saver for recipes."
"Take apart, it washes, put it in the drawer. Good to go."
"It's easy, you just got one hand, and chop."
Now here’s the deal when you buy the Slap Chop we’re going to give you the Graty for cheese. White cheese, yellow cheese -- in the container. Comes with a twister, watch this tacos, fettucini, linguine, martini, bikini. Look at that comes with two blades. Just bang it. Cheese comes right out. Fine 'n course, Parmesan. Comes with a cover, stays sealed. Put it in the fridge, take it out when you need it. Pass it around the table. You’re going to love this thing. The Slap Chop sells for 19.95, but if you call now, within the next 20 minutes -- you know we can’t do this all day. You’re going to get the Graty absolutely free -- just pay processing. So that’s two for 19.95. The Slap Chop with the Graty, now here’s how to order..."
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TLDR
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>>9416736
tl;dr I bought one of these and its horrible. Still probably worth the $30 from the entertainment of first using it and watching an onion disapear before my very eyes.
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VINCE HERE WITH THE PENIS PUMP
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what's wrong with just buying a knife?
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>>9417370
Stop having a boring life
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Imagine the world we could have had instead..
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>>9417806
Imagine being rich for being a professional, televised carnival barker.
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>>9417828
I would love to have seen President Mays build the Mighty Putty Wall.
Thread posts: 10
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Thread images: 3