I've been growing cucumbers for about a month now.

>>9397890
You really put the "u" in cucumber huh

>>9397890
Nothing, that cucumber is fine.

The reason you only see perfectly straight ones in the supermarket is because they don't put the crooked ones out for individual sale. Walmart doesn't want people thinking they're buying "defective" produce.

>>9397890
looks like you aren't watering 'em enough, anon.

>>9397890
needs some viagra

>>9397890
https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/edible/vegetables/cucumber/cucumbers-not-straight.htm
>Often, this results in curly cucumber fruit, or otherwise deformed cucumbers, and one huge disappointment for gardeners who waited all winter for perfect, straight fruits.
kek

>>9397890
You have to use electro shock treatment to get straight cucumbers.

>>9397890
Looks like it could hit your prostate. Nothing wrong with a lil internal tickling, anon.

>>9398271
Indiana doesn't even HAVE cuisine.

>>9397890
Try putting some tiddies in your garden

>>9398362
You can do that with a straight cucumber too.

>>9397924
This. There are always variants on the vine due to the trellis structure, watering or unknowns. Commercial growers just separate those for other purposes, like prechopped salads or sysco dependent restaurants.

It's trully amazing that someone growing their own food (obviously for the first time) thinks something is wrong. It shows how far away we are from how our food is raised and what it looks like when it grows. One of the elements that make for such a savage indictment of modern society.

>>9397890
see
>>>/out/1093050

Uneven watering or poor pollination.

>>9397890
Congrats, you just grew a cucumber you can throw away and it'll come back.

>>9398943
no, cucumbers in all media and all supermarkets (the most common place for common people to buy things) have straight faggot pre-pickles. they only curl when they brine

>>9398862
Yeah but you have to buy them a few drinks so you can take advantage of them.

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>>9398362
>>9398862
>>9400553

>>9397924
Fun fact: This basically applies to all vegetables. People will only buy perfect, beautiful vegetables.

On top of that they put out WAY more produce than is actually going to get purchased because people get totally put off by the last few vegetables thinking they were ignored because because they were "defective". So a lot of it is just decoration and inevitably gets thrown out when the sell by date passes.

>>9400564
>I ain't chinna play my games with no DEAL-DOUGH

>>9397890
did it grow against a wall?

>>9397902
Holy kek you made my morning

>>9397890
tfw my dick curves back at me fully erect.

>>9402725
This is why blue apron is so great. Hypochondriac spergs shopping at the grocery store finger fuck every god damm piece on display until half the stuff us mushy and gouged with fingernail marks.

At least with BA the stuff gets to you sorted by someone who is just doing a job and is in relatively decent unmolested condition.

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i'm growing cucumbers right now too OP, the first one is pretty close to the ground maybe ill get a bendy one too

They are supposed to look like this.
Originally it is called "snake cucumber" (or something to that effect), and the ones you get in the store has been genetically altered for logistical reasons.