so this milfy coworker got me something for my birthday a while

your cock

>but i want to give her a gift
you know how I know you're a beta?

>>9380306
making her those drinks have gotten me a bj at work before so lick a dick

>>9380317
so you're fucking older women? what's wrong, can't get a girl younger than you? beta as fuck

>>9380327
I'm just going to out you as a virgin and bump the thread

>>9380297
make her favorite cake in your pants

>>9380327
1) Who said anything about them being mutually exclusive, bro?

2) Milfs have skills. A lot of younger women, while hot, are useless in the sack.

>>9380327
>so you're fucking older women?
yes i just said that, cant you read?

and can someone post maybe a go to recipe theyve baked? my cookbooks mostly have long ass recipes and i really dont want to spend an entire afternoon making a tart again.

>>9380327
Older women are amazing. They bang with a passion that younger girls just don't have. They know their role so its easy to avoid getting attached.

>>9380424
Younger girls are mostly prudes too.

>>9380424
>They bang with a passion that younger girls just don't have
Women being enthused about sex is a huge turnoff though. Unless she just lies there like a dead fish, preferably with dead eyes, staring off to the side while you rail her, there is something wrong with her. She's either faking it meaning I cannot trust her, or she's hypersexual (read: high risk of veneral diseases and cheating not to mention just fucked in the head and probably thinking about getting pregnant or some other form of blackmail, meaning, again, I cannot trust her)

Female sexuality is a weird thing. I'm no prude but sexual enjoyment is inherently an asymmetric phenomenon. The only woman who enjoyed sex that I felt I really trusted, I was not attracted to in the least bit and she knew it. She didn't give a shit, she just wanted the dick. Unfortunately she was fucked in the head and I broke things off with her.

Cupcakes, tiramisu, cheesecake...
As for cocktail, anything colorful with vodka will do. Or maybe something with coffee liqueur if you decide to go with tiramisu

>>9380446
>>dead fish
There is no bigger turnoff.

Also:
>>dead fish
>>Wanted the dick
Pick one.

>>9380446
im just doing what their husbands cant do anymore. all that pent up sexual frustration, g'damn

im thinking i make this with either gin or vodka, what does everyone think?

http://www.thenaptimechef.com/2011/07/roasted-peach-lemonade-powernap/

>>9380458
>tiramisu
i forgot that existed. thanks, this is a pretty good idea

>>9380446
I believe the person in this story who is the most fucked in the head is this fictionalized version of yourself you made up for laughs on a Malaysian mouth-harp enthusiasts' website.

>>9380459
>enjoyed sex
>dead fish
Notice how I said I didn't enjoy sex with her? She was the one doing the enjoying.

>>9380446

Yeah, nah. You have issues.

>>9380446
>t. Edgar Allan Poe

>>9380446
it's to be expected of this kind of website, but honestly anon, you are so creepy.

>>9380469
>She was the one doing the enjoying.

Lying there like a dead fish and staring off into nothing doesn't sound like she was enjoying anything. If she were enjoying it then she'd be getting into the act. She'd be touching you, giving you feedback, and getting into the act by using her pelvic floor muscles, matching your thrusting, and so on.

i think im gonna kill the thread if this stays derailed. i didnt think it would go off like this

>>9380480
Reading comprehension. She was the exception, meaning: not a dead fish.

Honestly the only reason I could get hard with her was because before we fucked she told me a lot of stories about getting used for sex by all the men in her life and she thought I was different. The reality was I am worse than all of them and the irony that she was going to be hurt by me when she found out I was just like all the other guys made it satisfying in a way.

>>9380487
Maybe you should have just asked your question without including all the faggot blog posting. Better luck next time.

>>9380490
Your brain is broken, there's no point in carrying on a conversation here.

>>9380327
He is right. You are a beta.

>t.40yo oldfag

>>9380297
>this whole thread
>>>/adv/

>>9380327

>you're a beta
I got a blowjob
>YEAH WELL SHE'S OLD SO LOL
damn bro