im kind of broke, is there any way i could get a free onion?

>>9334386
If you're that broke, head to a soup kitchen.

>>9334396
would they give me a free onion? i dont want any soup and its easier to just give me the onion

>>9334386
just go to walmart, fill up a reusable bag, buy a soda, and walk out. they can't stop you

>>9334405
if i cant afford an onion what makes you think i can affrd soda?

>>9334386
just go to walmart, fill up a reusable cup, buy an onion, and walk out. they can't stop you

>>9334409
What is an onion going to do for you? Walk around and find coins until you can afford a bag of rice and some cheap veg for vitamin c, you filthy scalawag.

>>9334386
I was in the same situation once OP. I went to a supermarket that sells onions only in bags. Under the bags of onions there were some onions that had fallen out, I picked one or two and put them into my basket. And at the checkout, I put the onions on the belt. The cashier would look at me 'Sir we don't sell single onions, only bags' - 'Oh sorry I didn't knew that, I don't need that many' - 'It's alright, just take them like that'. She gave them me for free because she didn't have a prize in the register.

>>9334386
find wild onions and pick them or go to a farm and take an onion when the farmer isn't looking

Go to a food bank this is literally what they're for

>>9334442
i have rice and beef and pork and chicken and bell peppers and carrots
i run out of onions, i could also use kitchen paper

>>9334386
onions are literally among the cheapest things you can buy. Look under the cushions, i guarantee you have enough money to buy a single onion.

>>9334386
dumpster always full of em

>>9334386
>im kind of broke, is there any way i could get a free onion?

Aww, Shrek fell on bad times :(

I have a spare onion if you want it op.

>>9334479
Ask a neighbor? I always have a bag in my pantry. I'd give a neighbor one if they asked, and weren't like always asking.

>>9334534
>Look under the cushions
i miss having a couch
>>9334563
great, do you want me to tie myself up and remove my phone first or are you kidnapping me the old fashioned way

>>9334619
>great, do you want me to tie myself up and remove my phone first or are you kidnapping me the old fashioned way

I'm not a kidnapper, just a generous guy with an onion. I could leave the onion in a public place and you could just go get it without ever meeting me.

Depending on where you live I'll drive by and throw an onion at the box you apparently live in

>>9334404
Certain churches have food pantries. Mine is a puerto rican Lutheran & they dole out a sweet stash.

>Various produce
>Glorious instant mash taters
>canned vegetables
>rice
>concentrated cranberry juice
>a tasty beef stew that comes in a gag
>enough bread to kill a horse
>your pick of a nice choice of dessert pastries

Back when I was in need, the Lord provided.

Hallelujah. God bless that church.

>>9334386
You sound like someone who should get acquainted with the dumpsters behind grocery stores. They often throw out slightly flawed stuff.

>>9334560
Kek'd

>>9334386
I think you'd do pretty well panhandling with a sign that said NEED MONEY FOR ONION, PLEASE HELP, GOD BLESS

Once upon a time there was a woman, and she was wicked as wicked could be, and she died. And not one good deed was left behind her. The devils took her and threw her into the lake of fire. And her guardian angel stood thinking: what good deed of hers can I remember to tell God? Then he remembered and said to God: once she pulled up an onion and gave it to a beggar woman. And God answered: take now that same onion, hold it out to her in the lake, let her take hold of it and pull, and if you pull her out of the lake, she can go to paradise. The angel ran to the woman and held out the onion to her: here, woman, he said, take hold of it and I’ll pull. And he began pulling carefully, and had almost pulled her all of the way out, when other sinners in the lake saw her being pulled out and all began holding on to her so as to be pulled out with her. But the woman was wicked as wicked could be, and she began to kick them with her feet: ‘It’s me who’s getting pulled out, not you; it’s my onion, not yours.’ No sooner did she say it than the onion broke. And the woman fell back into the lake and is burning there to this day. And the angel wept and went away.

>>9334448
>She gave them me for free because she didn't have a prize in the register.

She gave them to you out of pity, shops don't give out prizes for loose produce idiot.

>>9336033
kek

>>9336006
jesus christ I haven't laughed this hard in months

>>9334386
Look for some change on the ground they're like 30 cents

>>9334386
Do you have neighbours? Ask them maybe . Dress well.

>>9334386

ok i can't stop laughing, thanks for that

go in the woods and find one

Just stuff one in your pocket and walk out, I do it all the time when I need just one onion or one clove of garlic

>>9334386
last week i needed a red onion, so i went in a little shop but there was a huge line so i backed out and left the onion back in its box.

the lady saw me and told me "just take it, don't worry about it". but this only works in small family shop