>relatives come to your house >open your fridge >hey

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>>9261816
Anon, your nephews are hungry but i dont see any white bread. Also, where do you keep the frosted flakes?

>>9261816
The condiments are in there. I ate the pizza, and i don't keep the rest of that shit around.

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Where is your tv? If the twins dont get to watch their favorite show they go mental.

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>Anon, can I borrow your iPad? Your niece and nephew need to play a game or they get rowdy

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>just gonna jump on your computer real quick

>>9261816
>exaggerating your relatives' valid questions of not having basic condiments
>not having standard items in your fridge

>>9262151
Basic american condiments are all shit though. And i like America.

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>>9261939
>Buying an iPad

>>9261816
>b-b-but i m-make my own mayo...

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>>9261833
>Anon, what do you mean you don't have any American cheese? You know they don't like cheddar.
>Do you mind if I eat this entire can of whipped cream, i'm having a craving.
>I had to use half a stick of butter just to fry my egg on your pan, why don't you have any good non stick?
>Oh hehe, it looks like one of the kids got into your vinyl disks and tossed them on the floor again, why don't you kid proof your house?

>>9261816
>rumors begin circulating that you may be starving yourself/"not eating right"

God damn Tina Fey was fine as fuck in 30 Rock.

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>>9262222
>have guns strewn across my house
>shotguns and rifles line every wall
>gallon of sulfuric acid in one of my cupboards
>knives and powertools on the dining room table
I never have to deal with that shit.

>>9261816
>opening someone else's fridge out of the blue
are you related to barbarians

>>9262222
so glad my family isn't like this
but they're all from trinidad
the handful of people in my family that do eat and act trashily like that, I haven't seen, heard, or spoken to in years
feels good man

also, nice digits

>>9261918
who the fuck watches TV anymore
seriously, all the people I know of who regularly watch broadcast or cable TV still are at least 35
my 14yo niece is a total normalfag and she doesn't watch a drop of TV
my 15yo nephew spent all his time visiting watching youtube videos on his ipod

>>9261816
Check again, of course i've got ketchup and mustard and mayo, i'm not a pretentious fag. As for the rest you'll have to bring them yourself.

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>>9262151
>keeping processed garbage in your fridge

>What do you mean you don't have a microwave? How do you cook anything?

I hate when I bring a girl home and she goes rifling through all of my shit. It's fine if you want to open the fridge to get a drink or something, but it's just so weird how some women will go through a house or apartment and systematically check out all of your possessions.

>>9262674
It's to see if it's a proper place to nest.

how did my mom find her way into my well hidden folder of extremely high res pictures of celebrity faces in less than five minutes.

she just needed to google something and somehow i leave her alone thinking i hid it well enough and then i look back and she's looking at the pores on emma stone's face

i can't fap to it anymore because i just cringe when i open the folder. fucking why mom?

>>9262681
>right click on windows explorer
>list of most recently opened folders comes up
>"WOAHOAOAH WHAT IS THIS SORCERY"

>>9262684
I thought of this contingency and eliminated it. The computer had also just been restarted, no windows open.

>>9262679
Fair enough

Anon, where be ur chicken nuggets

u aint got no chicken nuggets? wtf u eat den? the kids need some chicken nuggets

u have some chicken breast and you can make some? how tf u gon do that prolly gon taste like shit

>>9262713
Lol, sounds like you have some pretty hood-ass relatives pham

>>9261918
>have tv but no cable, only use it for vidya games, netflix, etc

>HEY HOW CAN I PUT ON FOOTBALL ON THIS THING?

if you wanted to watch that normie shit you shouldn't have pressured my wife to host this party

>>9262247
>>gallon of sulfuric acid in one of my cupboards

Amateur chemist? If so what kinda experiments have you been into lately?

>>9262718
>how u gon make spaghetti? i aint see no jar. wait wtf you doing wit dat can of crushed tomatoes Ahahaha this nigga think he can throw tomatoes in a pan and make spaghetti

>ayyy how can i make hot dogs u aint got no microwave

>wtf this block parmesan cheese for? parmesan cheese is powder

>>9262681
Winrar archive w/ password you dangus

>>9261816
>Ketchup
in the door
>mustard
in the door
>mayo
in the door
>ranch
don't like it
>block of orange cheese
I don't eat that
>hot dogs
bottom shelf
>pint of macaroni salad
don't like that
>leftover pizza hut
I ate those food

>>9262751
>>9262713
This is why I see the "white people don't know how to cook/season" as the racist meme it is. I grew up around tons of black people and all of them ate trash. There was no fried chicken, jambalaya or collared greens. It was hotdogs with no buns, salt and pepper ground beef in a pan with white rice, frozen shit, whitw bread aandwiches and soda.

>>9262757
great... thanks.

>>9261816
>Relatives come to your house
Lost me

>>9262757
>he has things he don't eat.

The trick it's make them useful.

>>9262151
>fly overs actually think like this

>>9262745
Dunking pre and post chicken mcnuggers into sulfuric acid.

>>9261816
> Putting up with scum
> Inviting scum into your house
> BUT THEY'RE FAAAMIOLLYYYYYY
> That somehow gives them the right to invade your home

Americans confirmed for shit-tier humanity. There's a reason you're considered a third-world country and laughed at by the rest of the world.