>Be me >In college >have a couple of the scammy coke

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>Be me
>In college
>have a couple of the scammy coke vending machines in diner hall
>machines with horizontal dispenser belts
>machine breaks on faithful day

>desperate people trying to get their drinks
>drinks stack on dispenser
>just sit there as three chipmunk looking twats purchase drinks
>still stacking
>keep watching
>''Haha, little faggot...''
>They give it up and leave the machine

>I do not fall in such mortal traps
>Feel... tempted
>Very... tempted
>Walk towards the machine
>Brain desperately trying to stop my autistic hand from reaching for my wallet
>I do it anyway

>Iamonlyhuman.EXE
>Press selected beverage
>Fucking machine gives off distress call
>Like a beached whale
>No idea what to do
>Dispenser slot opens
>Hold it open becauae autism

>Bottle by bottle, beautiful beverages slip out in to my hand
>OHMAMA.gif
>Fill pockets
>Heart is filled with joy and sorrow
>This is what i've become
>A lowly thief
>A lucky thief