Is there a more arrogant dried fruit than figs? >full of

>>9229386
>fig tree in backyard
>won't stop bearing fruit

>fruit i can't reach attracts fruit flies
>fig tree fruit fly fuck fest

goddammit you fucker i'm sick of figs

Ever had a fresh fig ? Gross, like eating a flower, no jammy goodness. Dried figs are the bomb. You know, to make a fig, a wasp has to crawl in there and die ? Then the fig grows around it. True story I think.

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>>9229402
>True story I think

>sliced fig and goat cheese

Patrician's choice

I am about to ruin figs for you.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fig_wasp

Ever wonder how figs get fertilized when all the shit is on the inside? Meet the Fig Wasp. Every fig needs a fig wasp.

The fig wasp burrows inside and pollen on its body fertilizes the fig. Then the fig uses enzymes to dissolve and consume the wasp. Then you eat the fig.

Enjoy your figs.

>>9229402
>You know, to make a fig, a wasp has to crawl in there and die ? Then the fig grows around it. True story I think.

that's what a gall is. parasite, nothing to do with the fruit itself

>>9229402
The wasp crawls into the fig and pollinates it and dies inside, but then the fig completely digests the wasp, leaving no wasp bits behind to eat.

Basically figs are metal as shit

>>9229446
Looks like veganfags can't have figs yeeehaw

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>>9229461

ITT: I learn that figs scare the shit out of me now.

>>9229446
Cool that's awesome.

>>9229446
Why does that ruin figs? There's bugs in pretty much every cereal/canned/processed food you eat. Your face is covered in living, happy, healthy bacteria and thousands of tiny skin crabs. Fig wasps are only gross if you're an ignorant man-baby.

>>9229456
I mean thats wrong, but whatever.

They lay eggs in the fig, THEN die.
The eggs hatch and babby wasps crawl out of the fig but only after they have a fuck/murder fest and the preggo babbies go into other figs, therefore cross pollinating them.

The wasps are smaller than sesame seeds and you just dont notice the dead ones.

>>9229503
>you just dont notice the dead ones.
I do now....would be what i'd say if i ever ate a fig again. which I'm not.

>>9229398
Is fig wine a thing? You could scoop up all the ones you don't want to eat and ferment those bitches.

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>>9229461

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>>9229446
whilst you are correct man has been more associated with figs then "apples" per se. Man has created seedless figs through generations of breeding- in turn giving us the common fig that will not require the fertilization process.

>>9229386
the only superior dried fruit is the humble dried plum
whole dried bananas are pretty great too, but kind hard to get

>>9229722
whole dried bananas you say?
You may have just doomed my dehydrator

>>9229722
>whole dried bananas are pretty great too,
huh? So you can break a tooth?

Dehydrated sliced bananas are delicious though, take on a caramelized and creamy taste.

That is so fucking strange about figs... it reminds me of that fake encyclopaedia of made up animals that sometimes gets posted. Nature can be so surreal, it this example almost seems evil from certain vantage point.

>>9229738
tiny ones are here for it
but the metallic taste isn't that great at all

>>9229398
Do you not own a ladder?

>>9229386
I love my kalamTa dried crown figs

>>9229402
>He doesn't like freshly picked figs with freshly picked walnuts
There has never been any more concentrated amount of pleb in one post.

>>9229398
i had this same problem until my tree died one winter. now it is impossible for me to get fresh figs anywhere. absolutely all figs from stores and farmers markets taste like shit if you have owned your own tree before

I love dried figs.
Has anyone here with a fig tree dried their own figs?
How does it compare to the turkish/greek dried figs?

>>9229456
>>9229503
So your telling me plants are meat eaters? BTFO vegetarians.

>>9229402

The figs we buy in stores aren't pollinated by wasps, they're done by male and female trees.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DQTjv_u3Vc&t=1s

>>9231568
I have but I've only ever had figs both fresh and dried that where grown ony tree.

>>9229572
40 proof Fig liquor is, not sure how they make it tho.

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>>9229775
they're not hard like banana chips at all

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>>9229386
>go to the grocery store to buy walnuts, pistachios, figs, and apricots
>turn on Tyrant
>literally snack like a king

>>9229398
>Not trading your extra figs for your neighbor's fresh limes

>>9229402
Your fresh figs were probably far from ripe because you're a dumb estadounidense who panics when fruit starts to get soft.