>eat literally nothing but steak for three days in a row >haven't

>>9212032
Coffee and cigarettes? prunes

>>9212032
A block of cheddar cheese should do the trick

>>9212032

>gender non-specific
>also not gender inclusive

Enjoy the pissy seats ladies.

Feminism = yay!

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Usually a cup of black coffee in the morning will keep me regular all day long.

But for you, it sounds like you're in much bigger trouble.

You need fiber, and lots of it.

Eat a couple of these, and wash it down with apple cider.

>>9212045
Sounds better than coffee and cigarettes. I'll give it a shot.

>>9212032


I make my own beef jerky. I get blocked up when I eat a lot of it. The best thing is cabbage. Eat plenty of sauerkraut or kimchi or just plain boiled/stir fried cabbage.

I for one do an enema. But then again it is also my fetish.

>feeling that hot water pumping into you
>filling every inch of your bowels
>feeling it slosh around inside of you
>until you finally can't hold it in any longer and your ass explodes in a torrent of warm water and shit

The first one is for medical reasons but the next couple are for pleasure.

>>9212065
I think you're in the wrong thread.

>>9212032
>haven't gone to the bathroom in four days
You should go see a doctor

>>9212065
?
Take this shit elsewhere

>>9212075
lol no thanks I live in America. Can't afford it.

>>9212032
*urinates on top of the plastic covers

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>tfw shit only once or twice every 2 weeks
>when I do barely anything comes out
>eat a normal amount every day but it just doesn't want to leave
>been going on for 3 years
My stomach is like a balloon ready to pop. I look immensely fat but it's rock hard.

>>9212032
I have an overwhelming urge to piss all over that sign, the plastic bags and whoever put up that sign

>>9212072
How is this the wrong thread? An enema is an excellent way for OP to clear out his bowels.

>>9212032
Days of steak
Days of failed shits
Days of bad choices
Days of regret for "living like a king"
Well for starters try drinking water
Look into places where you can get an enema
Even should you shit before long an enema is likely going to help you rid yourself of some real old shit you have laying around since you have piss poor taste in caring for yourself

>>9212081
I see...

>>9212093
read>>9212075

>>9212093
Isn't that why Elvis died?

>>9212093
nigga go to the hospital jfc your gonna die

>>9212097
what does bowel rinsing for enjoyment have to do with food and cooking?

>>9212094
>>9212082
>>9212043

You guys need to work on your humor recognition skills. This is obviously a joke by some bored janitor while they are working on the plumbing.

>>9212108
Nah, heart attack on the toilet from OD'ing on prescription medicine

>>9212115
Regardless, I still have the urge to piss all over it

>>9212032
the other bathroom is under renovation
>>>/pol/

>>9212111
>help. What do you guys use to force yourself to evacuate your bowels

>>9212120
>>9212120
vegetables.

>>9212032
>see this
>piss all over the floor and everything else in the bathroom

wow, sure did solve a problem

>>9212032
There's 3 lbs of beef sitting inside you every night you sleep over, bae.

>>9212032
I prefer using the cubicle anyway, I don't know why men are forced to get their dicks out next to each other in public bathrooms.

>>9212153
Because it's cheaper to build urinals and it's more convenient I guess

>>9212153
Are you Peewee from Porky's?

>>9212093
what the fuck are you eating?

>>9212093
Randy?

>>9212153
It's called efficiency, my nigger.

It's why womens bathrooms have a line 20 bitches long, and meanwhile the mens room works so efficiently its like theres a revolving door.

Take some psyllium husk and prunes concentrate

>>9212169
Bane?

>>9212032
I would seriously just piss on the plastic. What a stupid thing to do.

>>9212163
I've never seen that tv show.

>>9212194
It's a movie.

>>9212045
Yeah senpai. these will tearup your boipussy something fierce.

>>9212115
how is that obvious?

>>9212169

Fred?

>>9212190

Calvin?

Coffee with a couple of spoonfuls of sugar usually makes me have to take a shit.

magnesium citrate. AKA citroma. That will totally purge your system. Like, really, really, purge.

>>9212032
Enjoy colon cancer.

>>9212230
Javier?
>>9212233
Alexandra?

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>>9212045
R.I.P OP

>tfw liquid shit ejection after eating a whole box of these within an hour

>>9212032
What if I identify as a urinal-pisser? Or my religion requires that I only piss in urinals in public? Exceptionally triggered right now

>>9212115
>feminist propaganda photocopied and taped on the wall underneath the sign
you wish it was a joke

>promote gender equality by limiting the basic expected necessities of one of the two major genders
I wish it was legal to systematically murder leftists and liberals

Milk of magnesia + a shitton of water, point your sphincter in the air and you'll become a human shit-fountain in no time at all.

Does anyone else see OP's pic as an invitation to piss literally everywhere until not a single inch is unsullied?

>>9212075
Pussy. I didn't shit for half a month after I broke my leg and nothing happened to me except it hurt a lot when I finally had to go

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>>9212032
Drink a bottle of this. You'll be all cleared up in the morning.

>>9212032
What is on the smaller pieces of paper above the urinals?

>>9212032
Nah. There's probably only a pound and a half of steak poop inside you. Beef has a lot of water. Speaking of which, just drink lots of water and have a big salad or something with lots of fiber. We're talking vegetables here. Two or three celery stalks will almost certainly clear you out. You'll be fine.

>>9212032
>>9212081
Once my bowl was blocked for one week, when I decided to go to the doctor, he gave me a product to put inside my ass, 10min after I've done it, my anus was a highway and everything was back to normal

But since you don't want to spend money on medical care, you should drink a lot, eat prunes and spinach + do sport

>>9212115
Well it's not very funny then.

eating just steak will cause you to digest 99% of the steak. recommend eating eggs to have "little" shits to keep your pipes running.

if you get worried eat something like...green leafs to make sure the pipes are still flowing.