How can I figure out which type of beer in the one for me, WITHOUT

In order of least to most offensive to new beer drinks: Stout/porter > hefeweizen/weißbier > brown ales > lagers > unspecified ales > amber ales > everything else > IPAs > bacon maple syrup sodium pentathol IPAs and other meme flavors

Just an approximation, personally I like IPAs, amber ales and weißbiers. Generally newer drinkers will prefer malty beers and avoid hoppy

>>9169102
You can't.

>> I need a non-random way to narrow down the options
Taste them.

And you don't have to taste every single kind. Try a couple different beers from each major styles. For example if you tasted three different IPAs and you didn't like any of them then it's probably a safe bet that you won't like any IPAs, so stop bothering with them.

>>I want something like a flowchart
Just google a list of major beer styles and pick representative brands from each one. As you find styles you like then go deeper into that style and seek out different variations.

>>9169128
To be fair IPAs tend to grow on people

>>9169102
Just either pick one that's inoffensive to you and drink it until you've aquired a taste for it, or admit that you don't like beer and drink something else.

Just get some pale ale (not IPA).

>>9169126
Really? I'm relatively new to beer and Guinness, for example, has a very unpleasant bitter taste to me. It tastes strongly of iron. On the other hand, most ales I've had have been relatively mild, some of them quite pleasant, almost creamy tasting.

>>9169162
Guiness is pretty trash to be honest, little flavor and extremely watery. Ale, definitions aside refers to anything that isn't a lager so it's hard to understand what you're liking

Every beer in the world? cmon dude there aren't that many styles at all.

Hit up a craft beer store and get a stout, pale ale, berliner weisse, witbier and a lager, based on which of these you enjoyed you can foray into other similar styles so say you really liked the stout then give porter a go, if you like the hoppiness of pale ale then maybe try an ipa and then go from there.

>>9169162
Guinness isn't that great, if you like creaminess then try an oatmeal or milk stout

>>9169102
Look at what your peers are drinking and just drink that. This is how most people make their choices, just on a subconscious level.

>>9169166

Guiness. Watery.

You have never tasted Guiness, have you?

>>9169204
You've never tasted anything but guiness, have you?

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>>9169102
Honestly man AGD is pretty great for its price. It's what I drink right now cause it's cheap but it's also really good and I'll probably stick with it even after I start making more money.

But finding a beer you like is all about getting experience with lots of beers. Go to a bar that brews their own craft beers and try different types get to know what you like.

>>9169188
Well everybody is entitled to their wrong opinion. Pic related.

If you like Lager then try Corn based beer like Corona, Blonde/Golden Ale (will take you into amber/brown), Saison, Dunkel

If you like regular Ale then try Belgian Ale like dubbel/trippel/quadrupel, Amber/Brown ale, Bitter

If you like Pale Ale then try IPA, NEIPA, Hoppy Lager

If you like Stout then try Porter, Bock

If you like Sour beer then try Lambic, Oud Bruin, Gose, Berliner Weisse

If you like Wheat beer then try Witbier, Hefeweissen, Berliner Weisse (will take you into sours)

These progressions probably arent ideal, knocked them out quickly at work but you shouldnt go too wrong

>>9169208
No drink is more viscous than Guiness, apart from Maccy D milkshakes.

>>9169213
That guinness isn't that great? I drink like 20-30 different beers a month and 95% are ones i haven't tried before, i work in a beer shop with 400 different beers, i also work in a bar with close ties to local breweries ive gone in and collabed with and i'm a homebrewer, so what im trying to say is im not a random schmuck that drinks bud every day... guinness is pretty good but its not the epitome of the style and i dont see how saying that is retarded

>>9169133
That applies to anything though. Eat any food often enough or consume any beverage often enough and it will grow on you.

My point was simply that OP could look at this as a tree. At the top you simply have "Beer". Under that you have major styles like ale, lager, stout, etc. Under each one of those you have more and more specific types. OP can narrow down his beer quest by first figuring out which major style he likes the best, then going from there.

>>9169242
Yeah bro my dad works for Nintendo too

>>9169102
how about you try one of each main category to narrow it down and then go from there?
i mean there's like what, 7 main categories if that?

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>>9169287

>>9169309
c:

>>9169309
nice!

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>>9169287
Literally got gout after this (june)

>>9169320
>>9169314
:D

>>9169322
Okay so you're not a burger which explains it, our Guiness is considerably worse than in Europe

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>>9169102

>>9169343
I unironically like malt liquor even though I'm a craftfag. OE is best though

>>9169182
>>9169297
Yeah but if I ever say, for example "I don't like lagers", immediately everyone in the room tells me I haven't tasted a GOOD lager yet and THEIR local microbrewery is totally different. Every category is like this. No one will believe I've tasted a "representative" beer until I've tasted absolutely all of them.

>>9169349
All of it has its place. I have a friend who is a pretty serious home brewer who once gave me shit for drinking Tecate. I ran into him at the store the other day when it was really hot and humid out and what was he buying? A Tecate tall boy. Just because you appreciate good things doesn't mean there isn't a time and place for pedestrian things as well.

>>9169343

I like OE High Gravity in a 40 oz. I just posted a Steelie to see if any oldfags would remember this.

>>9169367
Pretty much. This board, 4chan as a whole and people in real life are too busy obsessing about connotations associated with products to actually enjoy anything

>>9169359
Who cares what other people say?

Ignore them and order what you want.

>>9169322
What app is this and why do I not have it?

>>9169102
>Go to grocery store
>Walk into beer and wine section
>Grab a make-your-own-sixpack carton off the wall next to the shelf with all the individual beer bottles(usually runs at about $10-$11)
>Select a beer from 6 different categories
>Purchase the beer
>Go home and put them in your fridge for about 5 hours
>Try the different beers
>Rinse and repeat until you know what styles you like

>>9169378
it's called untappd, I haven't been listing my beers all the time but I know I have at least 50 unique beer bottles around

>>9169376
>Ignore them and order what you want.
I have no desire to drink beer. I tried a few brands (no, I don't remember which) and hated them all. I want to know what kind of beer I like 100% for other people so I can have an answer.
>What kind of beer do you like?
>I don't know.
>What kind of music do you like?
>I don't know.
>What's your favorite movie?
>I don't know.
This always happens when people talk to me, and it's only the social pressure that's the problem.

>>9169102
>it's a chore to drink beer

Jesus Christ, you're such a total fucking faggot. At this point, I buy shit I've never seen before to see if there's something else good I haven't tried yet.

But for a real answer, it's called a "build-your-own six pack"

>>9169450
Well obviously, the answers are
>I don't like beer
>I don't like music
>I don't like movies
You should probably just try and find a hobby you like.

>>9169374
Beer is no longer the great equalizer it once was. The guy who drinks pitchers of Bud Light with his friends at the sports bar is unlikely to be the same guy who drops $9-$12 a glass for craft beer at a gastropub. And there's a good chance each of those guys would have something negative about the other's taste in beer and nightlife establishments. We're long past the days where beer was just beer and you drank whatever was popular locally. Like so many other things your choice in beer says a lot about how you see yourself. A lot of our choices when it comes to food and drink are as much about what we think is good as they are about how we perceive ourselves.

>>9169450
It's OK not to have any interest in things others love. No one says you have to drink beer, listen to music or watch movies. Personally I couldn't live without music, but I don't give a fuck about movies, and never really watch them. Feel the same way about sports. So most of my friends are into music, and I don't hang with too many sports fans or film buffs.

No one says you have to follow everything going on around you in culture. But finding what interests you and others who share that interest is a good idea if you want a social life.

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>>9169102
>flowchart

>>9169555
>I don't like a certain style of beer so it's shit
Good chart

>>9169555
Trips of truth

>>9169450
>I can have an answer.
Your answer is : "Beer isn't my thing".

>>9169166
>>9169188
Okay some I'm not the only one.
My German mother and Irish girlfriend both get offended when I say guiness is thin and watery piss-stout. My mother because she usually drinks amber ales and lagers, and my girlfriend because she's Irish.

>>9169574
Then they say: "That's because you never tried any GOOD beer! I'll keep asking until you find a beer you like!"

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>>9169463
YOU'RE LYING! TELL ME WHAT KIND OF BEER YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW! AND IT BETTER BE A GOOD ONE! BE NORMAL DAMMIT!

>>9169590
Then you buy a Henry's Hard Soda and confirm that you're a bitch.

>>9169590
How is that a problem?

Just tell them you have tried countless beers and you didn't like any of them. You're not a beer person.

Your social skills are incredibly poor.

>>9169590
Do you like any other alcoholic beverages? "I'm more of a wine/whiskey guy," might be an acceptable answer, depending on your social circles.

>>9169213
Guinness tastes like water. Get the fuck out if here with your shit taste

>>9169664
>>9169684
Then they say: "No, you MUST have one favorite beer! You have no choice! Try more different beers! Try them all! Try them or I'll kill you!"

>>9169640
>>9170242
I'm starting to think you may show some signs of social anxiety. You're panicking about this situation way more than you really should be, no one is putting that much pressure on you. Get some help anon, social anxiety is something you can mitigate with counseling and maybe even drugs.

>>9170089
Is the water from your tap brown?

>>9170242
>conversations that have only ever happened in your head

someone make a brain meme with mikes hard as the smartest

What are some beers that are as flavorful as IPAs, but not so bitter or hoppy? Does that even make sense? When I drink most lagers or pilsners they seem to have no real taste at all

>>9170361
Stouts and porters are the most malty side of flavorful. Browns and ambers are malty with less roasted/chocolate kinds of flavors. Belgian dubbels and German bocks are malty, but in a bit of a different way (dubbels get a lot from beet sugar and yeast and bocks are lagered).

The first beer a I really put as my "favorite" was Delirium Nocturnum but it was too expensive to be a mainstay. Try wheat beers like Blue Moon, etc. OR try sours, they are good and have tons of varients.

>>9169102
Step one: stop being a gigantic pussy

If you are at the store in america and you arent poor,buying anything but guiness or heineken or stella or any local crafts you are a pleb.

>>9170266
>TASTES LIKE WATER

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>>9170361
Pale Ales. IPAs are literally just more hoppy and strong pales ales. Try Sierra Nevada.

If that's still too hoppy for you then maybe try American wheat beers.

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Here's a chart, not sure if it helps OP. It's not exactly what you're looking for but might provide a guide.

>>9169208
Guinness is an extremely thick beer. Especially compared to things like piss water Bud Light.

Anyways, my top 4 favorite beers are:

Guinness>a PB & J Ale>a Honey & Cream Ale>and an ale distilled in Kentucky Bourbon Barrels.

The one thing i absolutely hate is light beer.

>>9169579
I think it's generally accepted that draught Guinness has a thin and watery body for a stout. The people in this thread who are arguing seem to be comparing it to non-stouts, I mean it's obviously thicker than a lager.

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>>9169367

>>9169204
Guinness Draught is watery but not Guinness Extra Stout

>>9171498
One look at that shit and I knew it was from Viz. My favorite tour manager used to leave the most recent copy of it in the bus lounge without fail. Good times.

>>9169336
It's literally the same. I've been to Ireland and Guinness Draught is the same in both countries.

>>9169367
I like shit like Tecate if I'm at a club. If you're dancing and shit I'm not sure if you wanna drink a bunch of IPAs.

>>9169555
Sours are memes

>>9169579
I think Extra Stout is really good

>>9171415
Guinness Draught is not thicker than a dun

>>9171545
*dunkel

>>9169162
That's because Guinness is shite lad

>>9170361
Amber ales are every bit as bitter as IPA but with a nice sweet malt balance that take the edges off. But it's not a very good answer because I usually prefer Ambers not because they're milder but because I don't find IPAs bitter enough.

>>9171534
>sours are memes
I don't think you know what the word meme means...

Also, like hop heads there are sour fiends. I love any sour varieties, from lambic to oude bruin.

There's nothing more refreshing than a gose on a hot day.

>>9169102
1. Find list of beer styles
2. Choose ten at random
3. Drink a beer from each of the styles you selected
4. Rate the beers by how much you liked them
5. Get rid of the five lowest ranked styles
6. Choose 5 more styles similar to the styles you already selected
7. Repeat from step 3 until you find a series of beers you like

go to bars that serve a lot of craft beer and order a flight of a bunch of different kind of styles.

also when out with friends and they are drinking something you have never tried before, ask to taste it.