No weekend coffee thread?! Come on guys.... >started out

I literally haven't drank coffee in about a year or two. Pretty nasty especially the dark stuff. But does anyone know how to make the French vanilla to taste like the ones at gas stations? That shit is God tier

>>9143641
Goddammit, I forgot to rotate the pic. Oh well.

>>9143648
You need cheap ass vanilla flavoring.

>>9143648
Obvious troll post is obvious

>my coworker takes a thin slice of butter in his coffee
>says people do it all the time where he grew up

Is this a thing? Or was he fucking with me? Do people really butter their coffee?

>>9143656
No it's not stupid bitch just because I don't like what u like doesn't make it a troll now do you know how to make it or are u gonna keep posting useless shit u butt hurt pretentious coffee fag

>>9143649
Don't worry, it's cancerous enough as it is.

>>9143670
Timothy?

>>9143671
found the triggered Drumpflake

are your really not not drinking cold brew? smdh...
just combine a 1:4 ration of coffee to water...
leave in the fridge for 24 hours and strain...
Who needs a coffee maker anyway?

>>9143673
Brad?

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Oh thank god there is a coffee thread, OK how the hell do I work this thing.

>>9143662
butter is just churned cream
people dump cream in their coffee

if it's unsalted, it adds sweetness and body without additional sugar, what's not to like?
It's like a cream cube.

>>9143662
It's always been a thing. Recently has gotten much more popular. It's pretty good desu

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is this grinder any good?

>>9144275
looks better than mine
go for it

Can cold brew taste good by itself?
I want cold coffee and I don't want to add sugar to it in order to make it taste good.
Hot coffee doesn't need anything, why is cold coffee so hard to get right?

When using a pour-over the coffee tastes good, but almost 'light', especially when compared to my nespresso machine. I've used two different types of coffee, and the same result. How do I change this?

>trying to reset so I can dose it strategically to get up instead of just back to zero and not need to worry about getting some to prevent headaches when traveling
>been a few weeks, have a coffee
>collapse ahead of schedule and lethargic following days

>>9144298
I posted earlier that you should have a 1:4 ratio of coffee to water. I like to steep for 24 hours. I find the resulting cold brew to be delicious on its own but if you find it too intense, pour it over ice so it dilutes a bit. If you do this, drink with a straw or POUR THAT SHIT OUT because cold brew over ice may only be consumed with a straw

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i found one of these krups il primos at a thrift store for $3. is it actually good? it had every piece

>>9144937
What coffee machine like this that's good for using ground coffee? Preferably <£120.

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please somebody recommend me some beans

>>9145301
Try out some single origin beans, until you find the region you like best.

>>9145307
Well I kinda want to try something African since it's been a while and I just recently got into pourovers. But I'm having trouble figuring out where I should order from.

>>9145323
I like Tanzania beans. I forget which brand I bought, though. I do remember they were "fair trade", though. And the bag was a brown, unpolished bag.

Zapatista coffee is pretty good. And it for a good cause I s'pose.

>>9143662
tried it, my dad loved it. its okay but it gets really heavy and gross feeling. i like my coffee pretty much like mcdonalds black coffee. harsh, but also robust. and thin so i can sip it, i hate putting cream or whatever in my coffee.

i believe the meme was butter coffee wakes you up? didnt make a difference for me.

>just bought 3lbs of costco coffee
>my target just brought in whole bean veranda blend

fuck I never see blonde roasts in whole bean form, but I can't just buy more coffee now, that'd be so wasteful

>>9144275
>good?
No. It's just better than nothing

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>>9144937
Get one of these instead.

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>>9144664
PLS HELP

>>9144664
Could be a few things. Excessively fast pour, grind is inconsistent or too coarse (you should be using a $500+ grinder), your water temperature is too low or you've got a ceramic cone that you didn't pre-heat, your coffee to water ratio is off.

>>9144021

What even is that contraption, lad?

>>9146924
You don't need a $500 grinder, that's just stupid.
You need a grinder that is consistent in whatever grind you need. A good burr grinder can cost as little as $75 if you shop around.

>>9146977
Don't be an idiot.

>>9146968
>>9146924
>$75
You guys are insane.

>>9146984
If you can find a consistent grinder that you can zero in on the right setting what does it matter how much it cost? The price tag doesn't determine quality automatically.

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>>9145127
Bump.

>>9147062
Are you dead set on getting a machine? Because you could get a pour over setup and pay less while getting better tasting coffee.

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>be me
>body wakes up with alarm clock at 6am
>mind still asleep
>no glasses, eyes haven't adjusted to the light either
>walk out to kitchen
>grab cup, fill with coffee
>open fridge for milk to put in said coffee
>accidentally grab diet lemonade because it's in the exact same shape of container
>pour into coffee
>take massive gulp

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

pic related

>>9147115
Maybe don't keep them next to each other, or put one in a different container after you buy it.

>>9147112
I currently have a pour over. I miss having the crema, and wouldn't the taste be better from a machine?

>>9147117

invent a time machine and tell me that about an hour ago lol

>>9147127
Not in my experience, but I'm not going to throw hundreds of dollars at a drip pot machine. The only advantage they have is convenience of setting a time for it to brew and if you needed to make a large amount of hot coffee. Nespresso or other cup-type machines often don't regulate the temperature correctly so pour over is still my go-to method for a proper cup of coffee at home.

>>9147131
Do it to help the future (you)

>>9147135
I've got a nespresso machine at home, and I find it's great. Unfortunately I wont have it when I go back to uni, so I'm looking for a relatively cheap alternative (>£120).

>>9147165
Then you are beyond my field of experience anon. Ive never really been drawn to those cup-type machines so I can't speak from experience. Hopefully someone else can give you advice. If all else fails you can always go to Amazon and sort the category by average review and go through those. Good luck.

>>9147165
Just get another nespresso machine or a keurig, you philistine

>>9147179
That's fine, thanks for the help and tips.
>>9147182
It seems silly to have multiple pod machines for when I come back for the summer, so I was thinking of branching outward. The opposite of a philistine.

>>9147195
You're not going to get a real espresso machine for £120.

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>>9147204

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>>9147115

i did this once but it was a carton of egg whites

>>9147115
It's worse when you pour half n half and it's already rancid but you didn't notice and it starts curding up in your coffee and you give the coffee a sip and you want to hurl and then you give the carton a sniff and it send you over the edge and now you can't even make another coffee because you have the taste of vomit and rancid milk in your throat and in your nose palette.

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Best coffee coming through

>>9145301
Sam's Club store brand light roast, I'm not even joking, it's far better than any local roaster bullshit I bought. They call the brand Daily Chef or something

Buying a $400 espresso machine, if I'm mostly making macchiatos and cappucinos will there be a discernable difference between this (15 bar) and a 19 bar machine?

>>9143641
Someone thought that was funny.

>>9147894
At least it's attention grabbing, which is what you want when you're trying to draw in customers.

>>9144937
pieces of shit. The steam has no safety release. Thing becomes a potential bomb each time you use it

>>9147852
That's bait right? Nobody honestly thinks mass produced processed shit like that is any good.

>>9147875
My local roaster is trash too, they overroast the shit out of everything.

>>9148003
It's usually passable if you use it immediately after opening, it'll go completely stale and start to smell sickly sweet after a week.
At this point though, you might as well drink instant, it doesn't spoil and it tastes exactly identical to shit-tier diner coffee.

>>9148014
Where do you live that you only have one local coffee roaster?

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>tfw I love coffee but every time I drink it I have to shit really bad so I'm hesitant about drinking it

How do I drink coffee without fucking my insides?

>>9143674
Hipster faggot

>>9148509
Don't drink it on an empty stomach, and/or find low acidity coffees. I didn't have coffee for a couple years because after having it one morning I peed out of my butt 5 times within an hour, but recently I had a cup after having a decent meal and felt perfectly fine. I'm pretty sure the coffee I had recently wasn't as acidic as what I had last time too.

Also if you're adding milk to it, make sure you can drink milk on its own without any problem to see if you're lactose intolerant.

>>9148587
Define hipster. Protip: You cannot without using circlejerk /pol/tard language that has no meaning.

>>9145419
This is why I use 2% milk in my coffee instead of fucking half-and-half.

>>9145419
The meme is actually about "bulletproof" coffee, where you put your butter and coffee in a food processor or blender, because "if you break the butter up enough the fats make the caffeine easier for your body to process" or some pseudo bullshit

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got one of these things from a grandparent, god knows how long its been sitting unused.
has aluminium oxidation shit all through it, read that I need to use some acidic lemon/water solution to really clear it out.

hope to make a lot of faggy cappuccinos with it

Why can't Starcucks make anything that can even compete with IKEA's one-dollar latte?

Seriously, if you've never gotten a coffee at IKEA you should. I've had some incredible espresso in my time, but they do a remarkable job with just a machine.

>>9150214
what the fuck is that

>>9150214
Is that a French press? I don't drink coffee.

>>9151744
It looks like some retarded espresso machine

>wake up and begin heating water to precisely 95° C for proper extraction
>measure out 24 g of beans and grind them manually (to prevent burning) while the water heats up
>place filter and cone on mug, place mug on scale, place grounds in filter
>pour 75 g of water in an outward spiral, watching closely for a proper bloom
>pour another 75 g in an inward spiral, then 100 g in an inward spiral, then another 100 g in an inward spiral
>allow all the water to drip through, compost grounds and filter and put cone in sink
>crush up a caffeine pill, snort it, and pour the coffee down the drain
Anything less is blasphemy.

>>9151819
Hehe so randum

>>9151819
you forgot to rinse the filter you fucking pleb faggot

>>9148003
I drink it all the time, drip is better for it than French press I think, but I generally like it strong. I've only just started with beans based McCafe beans of course

>found god tier coffee beans
>finished the entire bag in like 10 days
>went to the same place and got another pound
>tfw it's over-roasted this time around and doesn't taste nearly as good

why... it was fucking delicious. hands down the best I've ever tasted.

>>9152784
There's only one sure thing in coffee, and it's that nobody has any idea what the fuck they're doing.
You might come across a cheapo brand that happened to have a GOOD batch that one time you bought it, and the same can be said of expensive brands, there's no goddamn consistency because the people making this stuff for sale don't give a shit, they run everything on a timer on expensive aging equipment and don't care if you receive the burnt garbage at the bottom of the kiln, they don't even mix it.

>>9152784
what did they taste like

I'm retarded, is an espresso machine with two spouts going to make 2 or 4oz of espresso at a time?

>>9152805
This is exactly why I buy from large brands (such as Sam's Club as previously mentioned) - they have a FAR higher level of control, technology and so on to produce better, more consistent beans. Meanwhile local roasters are the sort of idiots to just leave beans out in massive barrels exposed to the air because it looks nice

>>9151998
nah I like paper taste notes

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This shit is actually delicious when cold-brewed.

Any recommendations based on my liking it? I'm a coffee pleb that drinks Folgers.

>>9147834

idk man >>9147426 sounds pretty bad too

>>9153910
I've only ever seen grocery stores do that. Being consistent isn't always a plus; for instance, Starbucks achieves consistency by burning the shit out of every batch of beans.

What would it taste like if you brewed green coffee beans

>>9155755
Good luck grinding them.

>co-worker walks in
>pours some coffee
>saunters over to the fridge
>grabs the bottle of maple syrup
>pours a substantial amount into mug
>mfw

>>9155716
You know what I meant. Hell them consistently burning beans means I can avoid them entirely instead of gambling by ordering drinks

>>9152805
well it sure as fuck wasn't "cheap". they also have a good reputation for what that's worth.

now I'm tempted to roast my own.

>>9152990
pic related. basically as described but a lot more chocolate than nutty.

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>>9156324
forgot pic

>>9153902
the portafilter has spouts, not the machine. the only difference two spouts makes is that you can fill 2 cups side by side. the amount of coffee it puts out depends on how long it's running.

>>9155755
probably like nasty hot water

>>9156169
why the fuck not

unless it's flavored corn syrup in which case shoot him please

I've never been a coffee drinker but recently got some black for free and decided to try it. After about 30 minutes I got stomach cramps and then it kicked in, making my anxiety go into overdrive. Guess I should just chuck this shit away.

anyone here use a kalita wave?

>>9157257
yeah probably a lot of people, it's hard to fuck up

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>>9157257
No, but I want one

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>First time using espresso machine
>Know the espresso grind should be the consistency of sand
>Set the grinder for what the machine manual says
>It's like flour
>Fuck it I'm not wasting the grounds
>Resulting espresso is bitter as fuck
Not sure what I expected

I accidentally bought 6kg of pre-ground instead of whole beans

How much pre-ground am i supposed to use in a typical espresso machine? Mine can take a seemingly infinite amount.. i started out with 2 heaped tablespoons but that seems like a bit much

>>9150214
>>9151491
>>9151744
>>9151777
That's a steam driven "espresso" machine. That particular one seems to be stovetop, so think of it as a wannabe moka pot.

>>9158601
https://home.lamarzoccousa.com/brew-ratios-around-world/

>>9158601
>>9158738
http://www.home-barista.com/tips/brewing-ratios-for-espresso-beverages-t2402.html

the thing that matters most is making it how you like it

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