Post autistic food related things you do ITT I feel too embarrassed

>>9121882
You're the reason why mexican restaurants always ask if I'm sure I want onion and cilantro on my tacos. And the reason why Jamal asks if I want extra mayo on my foot long.

>>9121882
I'm a mexican and my picky sister always asks no cilantro or onion on her tacos, it's been like this since we were little, you're fine no one will bat an eye
if it's a good taqueria they probably make so many tacos on the daily they won't even remember anything about you

>>9121882
I've used my semen in brownies and fed it to my niece

They said it was the best brownies they've ever had

And then she got sick

>>9122291
Strangely enough, I believe you.

They really don't care if you want cilantro or not.

>>9122298
As you should.

The touch sensation of bread or cake or similar textures would go through me as a child. Refused to touch it, use a fork to eat cake to this day (its just superior).

Now I can't stand stuff like butter or margarine on my fingers. Takes forever to wash off entirely and it's such a gross feeling.

>>9122291
These americans are totally degenerates

>>9121882
i walk around my kitchen looking to eat things when im already full and have eaten my meals

>>9122380
emotional eating, you should stop that

Try cleaning instead of eating for emotional connection

If I eat Asian food, I MUST use chopsticks or a spoon. I find it a form of disrespect to them if I eat their cuisine with a fork and knife, so as a mark of respect to their food (and by extension, culture), I always eat Asian food with chopsticks or a spoon.

>>9121882
I use oil instead of butter for cooking, because I think the smell of butter is horrendous. It smells like country toxin.

>>9122481
It's not disrespectful at all. Stop being a weirdo.

t. chink

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Well, I used to take pasta out of the pot with my bare hands, and pour salt all over it, then eat it. That is, until I almost suffocated from it.
>be me a few days ago
>mom just cooked pasta a few hours ago but i'm hungry again
>go to kitchen and pull a handful of spaghetti out of the pot
>douse said handful of pasta in salt from the shaker
>cram generous helping of sodium and carbs into my face
>realize it's too much for me to swallow
>try to swallow really hard, like how I've gotten away with this in the past
>it doesn't budge
>run out of breath
>FUCK
>try to cough pasta up
>still doesn't budge
>waddle out into the living room where my mom is
>motion to her that I'm choking
>cup my hands and slap my gut several times in a half-assed attempt to do a heimlich maneuver
>mom tries to do it to me too, but she's too weak
>my vision is starting to go funny
>this is fucking it, i'm gonna go like those people who choked on hotdogs and suffocated from peanut allergies
>vision starts to wobble
>suddenly
>GLARRRGHHHH
>COFFFFFF
>HACK
>HAAAAAACK
>spaghetti flies all over the tile of the dining room, and the carpet
>check to see if I'm still breathing
>excuse myself for making a scene
>dog starts eating chucked up pasta
>mfw i almost got put in a hole by a handful of mom's spaghetti

>>9122488
>uses oil instead of butter
>It smells like country toxin
>when butter is actually nutritious with fat soluble vitamins
>and oil is toxic as fuck
Some backward ass logic there, anon.

>>9122534
>he opens his mouth but spaguetti won't come out

>>9122557
That's not backwards logic, you fuckwit, he's only describing the smell and not the properties.

>>9122725
>he's only describing the smell
>proceeds to use toxic substance
Next you're going to tell me you prefer Kraft cheese because of how tasteless and non-harming it is to your delicate olfactory sense, cunt.

I soak my chicken in water in the sink instead of thawing them out regularly.

>>9122481

>>9122500 this

I worked for a Chinese lady once, and she cooked us lunch. I asked her from some chopsticks and she said we don't have time for that shit, get a fork and get back to work.

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>will NOT eat while wearing a hat
>will not remove a hat once I put it on until the end of the day unless I can wash my hair
>refuse to let my hair be seen messed up

>hanging with friends
>they decide to grab a bite
>sip iced tea while they eat
>all because I am wearing a hat

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>>9121882
I still weigh everything I eat even though I don't have to watch my weight anymore. I like being able to split everything into equal portions.

>>9122816
i do that sometimes i put in some salt bay leaves and cloves and let them brine in there for a couple of adys

>>9121882
Why do Americans call coriander cilantro, but coriander seeds not cilantro seeds?

>>9123365
Wew

>>9123425
We call coriander coriander afaik

>>9123622
I know, it's fucked. I've tried to either eat with the fucking hat on or remove it without worrying about my hair, but it stresses me to the point where I lose my appetite.

>>9123708
Just don't wear hats.

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>>9123713
I don't mind waiting until I get home to eat if I'm wearing one. It's not a problem, aside from weirding my friends out. Just contribooting my one weird food autist tic.

I'm ok with eating food other people have bit into, but I freak out if I have to eat food that has already been cut up, messed with by another person's utensils.
When I lived with my parents this would be annoying because my sister would always mash/cut/mix up more food than she wanted then expects me to eat it. I get autistic about wasted food too, so I either have to suffer eating it or grind my teeth as it goes in the bin.

>>9122375
>implying I'm from America

>>9122481
I'm sort of the same way with Indian food, I only eat it with my unwashed hands after taking a dump

>>9123948
Do you wipe your ass with your left hand instead of TP?

>>9123624
coriander in UK/Australia = cilantro in America
coriander in America = coriander seeds in UK/Aus

>>9124180
Learn something new every day, huh?

>>9123948
DESIGNATED
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IG
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>>9121907
nah m8 they do it down here too, they charge you the same if you don't want one or the other but can save good money if a lot of people decline on the long run

having to give cummy for mummy before getting tendie-wendies

>>9121907
Cilantro tastes like dish soap though. And I dont mean that figuratively. I wouldnt be able to tell the difference if you put a handfull of cilantro or a squirt a generous helping of lemon scented dish soap in my food.

>I'm not allergic to onions
>would not eat onions
>used to throw up while eating onions
>still gag while eating onions
>I torture myself everyday while I eat onions
>I only eat onions because they're good for you
>I try to become a normal person everyday

>>9123365
Try nopoo so your hair doesn't look like shit? I haven't washed my hair at all since last year and the bf doesn't seem to mind.

>>9121882
> Ate a parsnip once thinking it was a roast potato
> The surprise made me gag
> Now can't eat them at all.

>>9122303
They'll just put it in there anyway.

>>9122298
>They said it was the best brownies they've ever had
Lies

>>9121882
Is this what flyover life is like? Every taco spot I know of asks "cilantro y cebolla?"

>>9125432
Ah, so that's what life in Mexico is like.

>>9124414
There's a gene that affects how someone perceives the taste of cilantro

Basically it literally causes it to taste like soap for you

Thank God I don't have it so I can enjoy real tacos

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>>9125472
>real tacos

>>9121882
>>9122481
Isn't this the most western behavior you can think of?

If anyone from any other culture would come to us, we would feel deeply ashamed if we couldn't offer them the food or utensils they're used to. If they got even slightly upset for not being able to have their own stuff, we would consider it a fault of ours.

Yet when the tables are turned, we also consider it our fault if we're the ones not able to use their utensils, or eat their food in exactly their way according to their habits/traditions.

In short: if we go to another culture, we change are ways for them, but if others come to us, we also feel the need to change our ways for them.

It's kinda pathological.

>>9125472
I thought it was weird when Binging with Babish kept referring to it as chopped green soap.

Apparently you can still become a chef with this handicap.

>>9122351
Yeah, most people eat cake with a fork. Who do you know who eats cake with their hands?

I used to be unable to touch raw chicken. Beef and pork were fine but there was something about chicken that made me use up dozens of utensils so I didn't have to touch it (or have any of the raw chicken touch the cooked chicken)
I'm mostly over it but I'll still wash my hands like 5 times afterwards.
I also can't eat chicken if its too moist. I start gagging.

Put peanut butter on pancakes then dip them in milk.

>>9125510
Until after the Civil War, the fork was not in widespread use. Americans ate with their hands. That's your tradition, barbarian.

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>>9124434

>>9122351
Sperg

>>9122481
Faggot

>>9121882
It's OK to not want cilantro in your food man. If you come to almost any taquería in México they'll always ask you if you want your tacos with every ingredient. Plenty of people ask them without cilantro, others without the onion. Some just want meat on a fucking tortilla and call it a day. It's really not a big deal.

>>9121882
if I can hold any kind of pastry I'm eating I'll dip it in milk, dipping cinnamon rolls in milk as a kid was the beginning

>>9122351
Literal autism.

>>9121882
Authentic mexican street tacos are not even close to being as good as tex-mex tacos

>>9126266
>Fly-over hick dgrumphftf voters actually believe this

I don't like cilantro but I don't mind it on my tacos as long as they don't overdo it.

>>9127383
This. Cilantro is a strong herb and a little goes a long way. Most places overdue it

>>9127444
Yeah it's best when used sparsely. I had when the taco has massive amounts of cilantro sprigs on it.

>>9124414
>>9125472
I don't have the cilantro soap gene and it's still disgusting. You might as well put crushed stink bugs in your food.

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>>9121882
I feel too embarassed to go to mexican restaurants in general. Seriously, if you go to a real mexican place and you're the only white person then it gets kind of weird. It's so fuckin good but it's weird having to wait while people look at you and wonder what you're doing there. So I order my food and wait, then take it and scamper out and eat it in my car or at home.
Races are weird man, but that's the way God made us so I guess I'll just go with it.

>>9127479
I don't feel that way. I went to a Mexican restaurant in Brooklyn, New York and I was probably the only white guy there, nobody looked at my funny.

>>9123948
>how to get cholera

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>>9127489
That's because you're a normal well adjusted person and don't need to download a script for stuff like interacting with the pizza delivery guy

Remember that 4chan attracts people who unironically believe that holding the door for a woman will lead to a sexual harassment lawsuit and liking guacamole is basically a form of genocide against the white race. The most trivial human interactions are a challenge to these people; add race and language issues and suddenly you've got a life-threatening panic attack on the menu

>>9122481
I just figure that their food is designed for chop stick use so it should be no problem for me to eat with them, and it isnt. Has naught do do witch respct. figure they're just designed to pair together well. Like how you don't use butter knifes to cut steak.

>>9123365
I can't eat while wearing a jumper or jacket.

>>9124449
Nopoo won't stop hat hair. When I'm not wearing one it's fine, but when I'm wearing one then take it off, it's awful.

>>9122534
>>dog starts eating chucked up pasta
the true hero

>>9125742
Irrelevant, it's 2017 now and we don't eat with hands. Also, doesn't have anything to do with how we behave towards people with other habits, whether they eat with sticks, still eat with their hands, poop in streets, or come from mars and have nanotechnology utensils.

>>9123425
Because that's the proper way. Cilantro = Herb the fresh leaves. Coriander is the spice made from the ground seeds. When we want to plant cilantro we call them cilantro seeds.

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>>9121882
>be me
>hate eggs
>the texture, the smell, cooking them, just everything makes me gag
>difficult having breakfast literally anywhere because nearly every single breakfast menu item will always have eggs
>can only have pancakes with bacon so many times
>slowly start to hate pancakes and bacon
>have waffles and hashbrowns instead
>slowly start hating them too
>all because I won't eat eggs
>I hate going out for breakfast
>Positive feedback loop of egg hatred
>god why have you confined me to this yellowy rubber egg hell
>fuck you eggs
>satan's fragile chicken anal beads

I only order from places that have online order. I don't like having to call

>>9124260
>IG
Wow good one you dumb dingus

>>9129067

I think you need to eat some goddamn eggs benedict. A nice fried egg on an English muffin covered in hollandaise, which is of course, made from eggs.

Also, stop going out to eat for breakfast so fucking much. You wouldn't have such a problem with getting sick and tired of this food if you ate at home for all but once or twice a month.

>>9121882
>Ordering more then 2 McChicken
>Ordering McChicken with no mayo
>Asking for extra jalapeno on spicy Italian subway
>Pineapple on pepperoni pizza...

>>9129332
This isnt really that autistic

>>9125563
too bad you can't be someone with taste

>>9122481
>all of Asia uses chopsticks
you are the reason thai restaurants have chopsticks now

>>9129026
no coriander is the English word for the plant retard
you mainly use the herb because of mexicans so it became known as cilantro. (the spanish word for the plant)

>>9122351
>butter or margarine on my fingers. Takes forever to wash off entirely
Have you tried soap and warm water? It's very efficient on fats.

>>9131740
This.

>>9125600
I've never heard anyone else say that before, but I'm so fucking with you. Overly moist chicken is disgusting. Never had issues with raw chicken though.