>years and years and STILL /ck/ refuses to teach me how to

>>9066718
Enjoy!
Try French and Italian first
Mastering the Art of French Cooking Julia Child
Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking Marcella Hazan

For general cooking skills try the Food Lab by Kenji Lopez-Alt

There are lots of youtube chefs to learn from too! Just have fun and try not to fuck up too much.

I learnt a lot of useful cooking tips from /ck/. If you didn't learn anything at all you probably spent too much time in fast food and jack threads.

the fuck are you trying to learn how to cook, OP? this board has taught me a ton.

>>9066724
Baked alaska

>>9066723
Tips are for improving. You can't improve when you know literally nothing, you don't have the foundation to apply tips.

>>9066724
>thinking I know enough about what foods and meals exist to pick something specific to leran
Every FUCKING time

>>9066735
I learnt to cook two years ago by just following recipes. Why are you expecting someone to teach you when you're too lazy to look things up yourself? Learn basic cutting techniques by watching videos on youtube then find some relatively simple recipes and try them out.

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>>9066718
What's to learn? There's no depth to cooking. If you can tie your shoes, you can make anything. Be sure to steel your knife regularly. It may be best to start with plant based recipes so you don't get yourself sick. Under experimental conditions, it's actually impossible for regular people to prepare a chicken without getting poop germs everywhere:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10664978

>>9066735
buy a fucking cookbook and learn how to cook the basics. or just fucking google it. after you learn the basic cooking techniques you can branch out from there, but you've gotta have the initiative to teach yourself

>>9066744
>unironically using the word "plant-based"
Fuck off, vegan shill.

>>9066749
He's right though, if you're 100% certifiably cooking retarded, you'll be less likely to give yourself food poisoning if you cook without raw meat

>>9066758
It doesn't matter if he's right, he's a vegan shill trying to convert people.

>>9066767
feels before reals? :^)

>>9066784
I don't know what that's even supposed to mean. Don't you feel embarrassed that your entire life mission is to simply convert people to your way of life? Bear in mind that in your entire lifetime you'll only convert a handful of people.

>>9066767
lol shill implies he's getting money, or are you saying that anyone with an opinion different than yours is a shill?

I posted three cookbooks that helped me learn to cook. Does that make me a shill for those books because I'm trying to help OP learn?

I also have Thug Kitchen, recipes are good and they really teach you the ins and outs of preparing vegetables (which a lot of people fuck up).

>>9066799
>I posted three cookbooks that helped me learn to cook. Does that make me a shill for those books because I'm trying to help OP learn?
No, because you're just trying to help OP with no ulterior motive. Whereas the vegan shill is pretending to be giving advice while actually trying to indoctrinate OP.

>>9066808
I see what you mean.
People can be Vegan if they want, I don't give a shit. I've generally chosen not to associate with the self-righteous variety but several that I've met are okay.

The shill is right tho, OP shouldn't be breaking down chickens until he understands basic knife skills. Sorry , >>9066718
you might have to spend stupid amounts of money on pre-cut chicken parts for recipes for a little while.

>>9066827
Seitan can often be used in its place :^)

>>9066833
Vital wheat gluten runs you about 3.75-4.50 per pound USD. If OP wants to pay for that, produce an inferior product, and learn to manipulate it to even be passable then he's welcome to.

The problem with Seitan loaves is that bread like that has no juices or fats to render. Part of mastering cooking is manipulating the different flavors of ingredients into a cohesive product. Fats rendered from cuts of meat dissolving into a sauce or stew are a part of the flavor and it is difficult to achieve that just by throwing dense meat replacement product at a recipe.

I'm not saying that it can't be done. I've had vegan dishes that were masterfully created and were perfectly satisfying, but they take much more knowledge and skill than OP has right now to achieve.

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>>9066718
Knife cuts, roux, mother sauces, basic cooking methods. Boom I just listed an entire Culinary 1 Lab from start to finish.

Knife cuts- Learn the difference between small, medium, large dice, Julian, fine Julian, and the other cuts you'll never fucking use like the potato football one and the super tiny cube that are the biggest pain in the ass.

roux- white, blonde, and dark learn the difference they thicken differently and do different things with flavor 1:1 ratio of butter and flour weighed out.

Mother sauces- there are 5 Bechamel, Espagnole, Veloute, Hollandaise, and Tomato. Go look up a video on how to make them I am not holding your hand through this. The basic idea of the sauces is to use them as a base for other sauces roux is used in all but Tomato and Hollandaise.

Cooking methods- sauteing, sweating, grilling, roasting, poaching, shallow poaching, braising and the list goes on just get good and look up the proper way to do them all you're probably doing it wrong.