i've been shitting and puking all week and can't keep

A flavored BCAA powder with some dextrose and a pinch of salt

You probably can't handle straight BCAAs so don't even go there

>>9038259
what will that do? i don't want to leave the house

>>9038253
chocolate milk homie

>>9038402
i hate milk
and sugar
so no

>>9038403
>i hate milk
>and sugar
The world will be a better place when you're dead in a couple of hours

>>9038407
only plebs and underage drink chocolate milk

which are you?

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Get a case of yoohoo

>>9038411
enjoy your ban

>>9038253
WHO advises to drink water with a tablespoon of sugar and a teaspoon of salt per half liter in such cases.
The sugar will help stop the diarrhea and it's essential to replenish the lost water and salt.

>>9038253
Instead of figuring out which types of food you can keep in, why don't go after the cause of your puking and diarrhoea

>>9038452
it's a virus

>>9038253
Sounds like the emergency room might be a good bet. Why are you so sick?

>>9038253
Eat some bananas. The potassium will soothe your stomach

>>9038477
>it's a virus

The only common virus i know that responsible for that kind of shit isn't mostly spread in summer.

You probably ate some spoiled shit or you shaked hands with Pajeet before meal time without washing your hands afterwards.

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>>9038253
A greasy sausage served in a half full ashtray. Always works for me

>>9038505
my boyfriend works at the post office and everyone there has it and he had it up until a few days ago too

>>9038411
is this what you turn into when you let 4chan opinions dictate your life? Chocolate milk is everything that is good, pure and holy in this miserable world.

>>9038517
Then you forgot to wash your hands. Gastroenteritis is mostly spread by hand contact.

>>9038505
Vomiting and shitting is mostly caused by a Norovirus infection, but the worst symptoms should be over after 48 hours.
In case you ate some spoiled food take some activated charcoal tablets.

>>9038253
salt water

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>>9038253
Get the breakfast of champions down you lad

>>9038517
You need to wash your cock after sex before sticking it in his mouth and same goes for his work colleagues he's spread it to.

>>9038529
>activated charcoal
This meme needs to die

>>9038253
If you've had diarrhea or vomiting more than 2 days, or can't keep any food down, in other words, can't keep yourself properly hydrated, go to the urgent care. You might have norovirus or something more serious, influenza A, for which they could choose an antiviral if you're really bad, or a bacterial infection they can treat with antibiotics. They can give iv fluids to bring you back up to normal heartrate and minerals, and diagnose you if anything. maybe some anti nausea meds to stop the desire to keep vomiting. Basic tylenol can take the edge off the pain of the severe cramping, and allow you to tolerate it a bit more.

BART Diet: Bananas, applesauce, rice, toast/tea.
With some kinds of diarrhea, sugar is a bad idea, so they suggest gatorade isn't as good as say smartwater. With actual food poisoning, pepto bismol can bind it a little. Imodium can stop some of the pooping, but it can delay getting that bad bugs out of your system if it was bacterial. If it's really just mucous coming out of you at this point, you can calm a raw and upset tummy with pepcid, or a soothing bowl of oatmeal.

Simple popsicles can be more appetizing way to get some hydration, as can jello, and really easy when you're just so low on energy. For your first few no energy days, you can get chinese delivery, basic eggdrop or won ton, steamed rice, maybe something eggy like egg foo young.

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>>9038561
You what mate? That stuff is proven to be effective and is on the WHO list of essential medicines.

>>9038582
It works for poisoning, but for bacteria laden food?
I'm not saying you're wrong. Just asking because I never heard about it being used for this. Especially since you'd have to realise you ingested spoiled food very quickly for the charcoal to work.

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>>9038582
>(((WHO)))
Guess what the W stands for, that's right cuck. Guess who got cucked? You, that's right. Serves you right for taking health advice from the ((globalists))

The only medicine I need is this:

http://www.infowarsshop.com/Silver-Bullet--Colloidal-Silver_p_1284.html

>>9038592
Go home Alex, you are drunk.

>>9038592
>(((cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck)))
>>>/pol/

>>9038524
it tastes like sugary pus

>>9038253
Sounds like my symptoms when I caught a non-life threatening form of e.coli. Vomit for a few days and violent shits for a week and a half. Couldn't keep anything but water down. Lost about 15-20 lbs. it's been a year now and I still have mild stomach discomfort on a daily basis. It was a burrito bowl that caused my illness...

>>9038590
It works very well for binding the toxic byproducts produced by bacteria in your intestines. Activated carbon tablets are actually used in many countries as over-the-counter drugs to treat diarrhea, indigestion, and flatulence.

>>9038627
>burrito bowl

Outside or homemade ?

>>9038582
>he thinks eating burnt wood is a cure
Maybe in jiggboo witch doctor land lad

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>>9038698

>>9038639
At a fast service burrito chain

>>9038869
Heh. Somewhat looking for it.

i think i'm on the mend
i managed to keep down fries and some fried rice and about 3 liters of diluted gatorade

>>9038253
Remember that video of the Russian bakery's grain silo, and the pigeons being sucked down into the grain as the mill was running?

>>9041513
Yes, that was fucking retarded.
Retarded but funny as fuck.

>>9041513
they still have good mass-produced bread