>Homeless guy asks me to buy him a meal as I'm leaving

It must be so fun being a retarded nigger. I bet he was just loitering with his pack and they wanted to fuck with someone so they picked the hunched over, shuffling, greasy autist and told him to do something totally ridiculous and the mad man just went and bought a whole chicken.

>>9010655
Well I suppose that is one way to look at it. Got any tips for cooking a whole chicken?

>>9010658
Do you seriously not know how to roast a fucking chicken? Rub whole bird down with oil and generously season with coarse salt and roast in a big stainless pan in a 425-450 oven for 45-60 minutes. Use the fond and drippings in the leftover as a base for a sauce flavored with some lemon/white wine and fresh herbs like thyme and tarragon while the chicken rests.

There you go. Fucking chicken.

>>9010658
Make chicken sashimi.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6rVZng-AnY

>>9010658
butcher it and make fried chicken
have some friends over
get some sun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfDsNRXPKE8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UKssrLusBo

>>9010667
I like you. Whenever I hear shit from people like "I have so much extra food" or "What do I do with all this" I just say i'll be there in 45 minutes with beer, warm up the grill, also do you still have that badminton net?

>>9010667
TY. Will post pics as I do this.

>>9010658
clean the birb, season and oil birb, put into pan, cook at 365 for 1 hour, then put butter on it and baste every 15 minutes for a second hour

>>9010672
I like you, too
It boggles the mind (no offense, op) that people fret over shit like this
It's a fine opportunity offered to you by the strange currents of the world

>>9010686
No offense taken. Just glad that I came to the right place. new to /ck/

>>9010653
If u have a freezer u can cut it up (it's easy if u have a sharp knife) and make few interesting meals during next week. I'd freeze up everything except back,neck and feet, and make a chicken noodle soup for today and tomorrow

>>9010703
>it's happening!!!
good luck, m8

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>>9010707

>>9010672

Fucking normie fags

>>9010703
>>9010712
I like the direction this thread took. Instead of shitting on OP for trying to buy food for a homeless dude now OP is making fried chicken. Cook on OP.

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>>9010721
Thanks, anon

>>9010719
Sounds like someone is a sourpuss who hates fun.

He probably meant one of the cooked rotisserie chickens

>>9010727
Yes i realise this after the fact. But npw i get to learn to chop a chix

>>9010730
Save the carcass and make some chicken stock later OP.

>>9010737
very much this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V23HlsUdbaM

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>>9010737
Aww shitterz. Literally just threw it away. Next time

>>9010730
http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/10/how-to-make-rich-flavorful-easy-chicken-stock.html

This is a breakdown of a bunch of chicken stock experiments but it gives a good idea of what the range of stock you can make is. I like to also throw in some veggie leftovers to get a little bit more going on in it. You know the bit of an onion or carrot that had the stem attached. Keep it and make vegetable stock.

>>9010746
TY, anonfag

>>9010744
nevermind that shit
you're doing well, op

>>9010744
I make stock and sauces about once a week and cook with it the rest of the week. Nothing feels better than using stuff you made yourself even if you cut it with store bought if you didn't make enough.

>>9010744
OP's optimism has inspired me to make some fried chicken tomorrow. I'm thinking of mixin up a honey bbq or sweet and sour sauce for dippin'.

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>>9010756
Please do. Bird chopped; thanks guise. I'm ab to get some well deserved sleep. Will post the frying ITT later this morning.

>>9010744
Did you even read what i wrote earlier? Save back,neck and feet for soup! A.k.a. carcass
Dumb fuck

>>9010771
godspeed

>>9010779
mange de la merde.

>>9010779
Shh. Don't shame OP he is like dewy eyed doe. You will scare him away from posting a legit thread on /ck/. We need him here to combat the mcchicken shitposting. He can literally fish it out of the trash rinse it and start making stock if he cares enough. Unless OP has an toxic garbage can or compost it's not exactly unsanitary if your are boiling it for hours. If you care enough make your own stock thread. /ck/ could probably use a stock general thread. If you make it I will comment in it extensively.

>>9010808
OP here. I would not be opposed to this but it is sitting on a pile of weewee pads from my doggos. Will make stock next time.

>>9010819
Yea, I wouldn't make that into stock either. I suggest anytime you have bones, cartilage, skin, or other pieces that aren't going into the dish shove that crap in a plastic bag and throw it in the freezer until you want to make stock. Same goes with the stems of garlic, carrots, onions, whatever of veggies you usually cut off and throw away cause you don't want to eat it. It's got the same flavor just none of the nice parts. That's the spirit of stock and broth. All the crap you don't eat just flavors the stuff you do want to eat.

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>>9010719
>he doesn't like having grill time bro downs with his dudes drinking beers and playing badminton

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>>9010853
Yea that guy can suck my fucking shuttlecock. If he doesn't know how to enjoy a sunny day with friends and food he is complete waste of a human being.

>>9010833
thanks, friendo. I'll remember that.

here's some crazy shit
not sure that you'd actually want to do it, but why not know how?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfY0lrdXar8

>>9010961
Dawww. Someone who thought the whole thread was TL;DR

>>9010966
"no"
it was just another whole chicken video worth watching
I'm the on who suggested fried chicken in the first place

>>9010975
My bad. I never got that sleep.

>>9010966
Hey man. I'm considering dressing a whole chicken tomorrow night. I could use this advice. Be constructive.

>>9010981
fair enough
you did well in your butchering

>>9010722
>>9010744
I hate doing this. So gross.

>>9010989
Yea for real. I tried to spatchcock a chicken about a week ago and mangled the bastard. OP makes me look like an idiot and I cut up chickens all the time.

>replying to strangers who accost you in public
>ever

>>9010653
>buying homeless people anything

Homeless people are a drain on society. I hate those dirty, lazy pieces of shit. They're either drug addicts or crazy and neither deserves my money. Fuck the homeless.

Eat the chicken raw so you get salmonella and die.

>>9011068
>>9011086
especially outside of grocery stores, nothing gets me in the mood to ingest food like a piss stained alcoholic trying to shake down families

>>9011086
Get your own thread on /pol/ this is a chicken thread.

>>9011105
if OP wasn't a retard amd just kept walking like he shpuld have he wouldn't have had to deal with using up a whole chicken

>>9011112
OP here. Fuck off, Ayn Rand. Why are you samefagging so hard. No work today?

>>9011121
shut up faggot, you buy a nog some chicken and then try and shame a productive citizen for not working on a Sunday?

goddamn grow a spine, all the beggars should get is a boot to the face

>>9011068
>>9011086
>>9011099
>>9011105
>>9011112
>>9011121
>>9011134
Jesus christ what is with this shit. I was talking to OP about fried chicken and stock. He delivered OC. He was interested in food and cooking. Stop fucking it up, this could have been good.

>>9011121
>only one person thinks I'm am idiot

bad news...

>>9011134
You've got a very small penis, haven't you? Enjoy your day, friend.
Just bought buttermilk and canola oil for fried chicken.

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I'm going to help OP and post fried chicken images. Because this is about food and cooking.

>>9011163
you saw how well it worked out for you retard, by all means reward the parasites. You know they'd do the same for you if they were sober

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>>9011171
It did work out well for him. He gets to eat fried chicken.

>>9011171
Oh. You're still here? It did work out for me bc I've made a nice thread about cooking and you fags have helped my butcher my first chix.
Here's your (you). Off you go.

>>9010658
I assume it's like cooking a turkey. So like Thanksgiving.

Step 1: mom or wife/gf puts it in oven
Step 2: drink beer and watch TV for hours
Step 3: hours later it's cooked, eat.

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Well this thread went to shit. Have some chikkin from my neighborhood place, OP

>>9011182
You for real? Why are you even on this board, bubba?

>>9011188
I cook but I don't bake.

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>>9011188
That looks so fucking good. The sides are out of focus, what is that?

>>9011188
I'll try to bring it back. Sitting at the local lake with the last ingredients. Be home in like 20 to marinade

>>9011192
What exactly do you think roasting is? 50% of all cooking takes place in an oven, m8.

>>9011195
The blurriness on the sides is just the depth-of-field from the camera. If you're actually talking about the food sides, they're collards and mashed potatoes with some pickles

>>9011196
This is the dude who made the chicken. Marcus is pretty famous here in Harlem and on TV and his chicken is definitely not your everyday recipe. Pretty interesting spice flavor, but classic technique. This oughta get you in the mood, OP. I know people who get some of his chicken to go and eat it
near the Meer in Central Park during the summertime.
https://youtu.be/k7MafUNvuXs

>>9011196
What's the marinade? What's the batter/breading seasoning? I got a hard on for lime chili these days and its fucking amazing.

>>9011236
Now that sounds good. I was going to do a simple buttermilk lemon soak

>>9010653
He probably meant one of those precooked chicken anyways

I'm pretty sure he meant a rotisserie chicken you sperg

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>>9011233
Collards and mash are pretty solid sides. I can dig pickles but I always find more exciting pickles than the bread and butter or dill variety to be more fun. I will say pickles are a side instead of an ingredient though. Not a big fan of a pickle on a burger. Have you had fried pickles?

>>9011263
>>9011267
he said whole chicken
op bought a whole chicken
who was in the wrong here?

>>9011233
>Marcus is famous in Harlem
Lol

He's pretty well known internationally

He tried to open a joint in Minneapolis like 15 years ago, along with Vongerichten (unrelated place), but the flyovers were freaked out by food that wasn't "hotdish" served in one giant heap, some griping about plate size and "why can't we have normal food". So they both collapsed instantly. I believe the Vongerichten joint was replaced by a greasy pub grub spot, and the Samuelsson joint was replaced with a Ruby Tuesday

The chicken at Red Rooster is pretty good but if I may say so it's a big too expensive and also just too much for two people if you're also getting other stuff. It's basically the same price as the duck carnitas at Cosme. If I'm going to feel overstuffed and terrible after an expensive meal, I'd rather have the carnitas.

>>9011272
oh, I see OP isn't a retard at all then. good point.

>>9011272
>Buying a raw uncooked chicken for a homeless man

The answer is anyone involved in this shit was in the wrong on multiple levels.

Spatchcock, season, and roast that dumbass bird for 45-55 minutes. Easiest and fastest way to cook a chicken.

>>9011261
You're steering the ship bruh. Haven't fucked anything up cooking wise. I will continue to watch and enjoy. Can't criticize if I'd do it myself.

>>9011281
>panhandler
>homeless
Big difference buddy

There's this fuckhead elderly black guy who runs around on the train all day with no shoes on, moaning and groaning for money while limping and hamming it up

He's been doing it for YEARS, and without fail at least 2 or 3 people give him money, per car

That works out to around $60/hr, why even work for a living?

>>9011280
>>9011281
>homeless black men who don't know what to ask for when flim flamming detected

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>>9011287
and now we wait.

>>9011271
Yeah, I've had fried pickles. I like to fry spears instead of the chips and mix panko and parmesan for the crumbs. Bretty good, but those bastards are hot as shit when you first get em out of the oil and they don't cool down very fast. Double edged sword in that they're great for football games sitting out on a tray, but if you're negligent you got a burned palate for 3-4 days.

>>9011278
Yep. I remember being super impressed when he won Top Chef Masters years ago. He's pretty much iron chef level. I agree about the chicken pricing, and so do a lot of the guys around the neighborhood, but they keep coming in droves after church anyways, and he's wayyyy better than Sylvia's and Amy Ruth's. My family is from the south and I'll be damned if I'm paying that much for slightly better than average 'soul food.'
Marcus' take on that genre is fresh and interesting, so I don't mind the slight premium. Not to mention it's still inexpensive for Manhattan.

>>9011297
Careful about too much acidic stuff in the marinade, OP. If you let it go too long the texture can get weird, I know from experience. Also be sure to salt the marinade pretty decently that way you don't have to compensate in the breading later.

>>9011292
>Why work for a living

Dignity?

>>9011280
Who gives a shit whether or not OP is so fucking retarded he spends his days sucking on doorknobs. He's frying chicken. I will watch him fry chicken and then later, now that I am inspired by his cooking I will make some fried chicken. Then OP can go back to sucking off his dad and I can go back to painting my genitals orange and crying. Why do you have to ruin everything?

>>9011305
Thanks

>>9011309
>Original post is about a homeless man rolling over a naive cuck
>Whhhhhyyyy do you guys have to forget this is a foood and coooking board?

I'm rooting for OP too, hopefully he can pull this off this momentous cooking feat, but you can't change the topic of your thread after you start it

>>9011305
>Marcus' take on that genre is fresh and interesting, so I don't mind the slight premium

The way I justify the prices at a place like that is that the drinks are at a much, MUCH higher standard than the staple soul food joints. You are paying for the access to that, not the slight improvement in food.

Kind of like how the ramen at Momofuku is really not all that amazing but the drinks list makes up for it. Or any number of other joints that take cheap food and make it "gourmet". It's not about JUST the food.

>>9011305
I prefer doing wide flat slices instead of spears or chips. I just grabbed something off google as an example. I find that when you do those wide vertical slices you get quite a bit of surface area/volume and I find veggies only increase in deliciousness with more surface area when being fried. Especially for tempura. Also I feel with you about burned tongues. Nothing sucks like taking the first bite of delicious and then tasting nothing but pain in every other bite. Letting food cool is something I think everyone has to learn the hard way.

>>9011317
We are going to derail this into a good thread.

>>9011309
audibly kek'd. Guess I'll have to stop by my 'rents place later.

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>>9011324
I feel you. The drinks there ARE expensive, but they are pretty great. I mean, he's a celebrity chef and I'm glad he's 8 blocks away from me and not all the way downtown where everything else is 2x the price. I never get more than 1 drink when I'm out anyways, since I like to go home and have a nice drink on my balcony overlooking Lenox Ave. Pic related, my view

>>9011327
You sayin' getting out the ol mandoline and doing them wide and flat like fried zucchini would work? I'll give it a try. Seems like they'd be floppy though.

OP should have bit into the raw chicken in an effort to make that homeless man look like a jerk.

>>9011352
I don't have a mandoline so I do it with a knife which leads to expected inconsistencies in thickness but usually they turn out great. Floppyness can occur but to be honest, there is so much breading/batter on it you don't give a damn most of the time, if having a floppy fried veggies isn't your jam don't bother. It's definitely one of those things you would either like or dislike. Kinda like pickles in general. Some people love em and some people don't like em. Whatever you like man. I like doing fried pickles that way because I get alot of fried crunch along with the vinegar zing of a pickle. I don't know what it is about it but I know it's the same reason people put malt vinegar on their fish and chips. Whatever it is, it is delicious.

>>9011401
oh man, now I want some fried pickles.

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>>9011414

>>9011414
I mean, too be honest they are one of the easiest things to fry. You need less than an inch of oil for it. At least the way I am used to doing it. Just buy a jar of regular pickles, slice em up, season/batter/bread em and fry em up.

>>9011441
Now were cookin' with gas.

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>>9011450
Breading did not go well

>>9011465
Still looks pretty damn good anyways.

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>>9011469
Thanks. Gonna finish them in the oven

>>9011483
Looks dank. Are you gonna do sides or just eat some fried chicken?

>>9011492
>Looks dank
The bar is set pretty low around here.

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>>9011497

>>9011497
Shut your trap fuckface. What are you cooking? Post food or at least say something constructive.

>>9011508
fag

>>9011508
Oh, sorry. I didn't realize this place was like American public schools where you get gold stars no matter your performance. Carry on.

>>9011563
Better than your shitposting.

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>>9011497
Jack threads are actually how to's

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>>9011573
>blowing smoke up someones ass isn't shitposting.

We have two different definitions, m8.

>inb4 burnt. It was from the oven waiting for my perpetually late guest to arrive.

>>9011580
Ah well. Valiant attempt, OP, I'm sure it tastes great though. Next time just use seasoned flour instead of the breadcrumbs and don't bother using egg. I go buttermilk-flour-buttermilk-flour and let 'em sit for about 5 minutes so the coating solidifies a bit. Then hit them in the oil. Fry first side until breading just sets, repeat on other side, and flip semi-frequently until you get the inside to temp and outside is golden. You wanna pull them when their internal is 5-10 degrees under because they'll continue to cook when you rest them under some foil. Cheers

>>9011644
Thanks. I'll remember this for next time. Not much flavor on em but food is food.

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>>9011171
>you saw how well it worked out for you
Holy shit it worked out really well for him you faggot - he's making fucking fried chicken. That encounter with that black dude may as well have been fate - you on the other hand are fated to powder your jock itch and fart in your diaper

Shit man go make some phone calls and hang out with your friends or something

>>9010663
Not him, but it would be the same with a turkey, no? I feel like I would just have to adjust the cooking times because it's bigger. Should I cook a turkey on a lower heat to prevent the outside from burning?

>>9011677
>>9011580

You did see what he made, right?

>>9011594
I'll trade ya. Unironic XD

>>9011687
Yup. My first time cutting up a bird and frying chicken. Posted the whole thing for the internetz to judge. What'd you make today, anon?

>>9011687
>complaining about people cooking
This board is too good for the likes of you.

>>9010653
You need a whole chicken and a knife
>First set up a clean area with a cutting board and a big bowl of Tupper of anything like that
You also need a reason bag
Put chicken in bowl
Throw the bag into the trash
Cut the drumsticks with the knife and set aside
Separate the breasts from the tighs set aside
Start with the breasts, on the cutting board cut the wings and then separate in two pieces, carefully remove the breasts from the carcass, remember that there is a tiny home at the end
Also remove skin and throw at the trash
Throw carcass at the trash
Grab tighs, tighs have a bone inside, you have to feel it and then make a cut on the side and carefully scrap the meat away until you get to the union
Once tighs are ready grab the drumsticks, you can leave them with the bone inside and the skin if you like them like that but first cut a ring around the bottom so it doesn't connect with the rest of the drumsticks, there should be only bone in there,

Now you don't have a whole chicken, you have two breasts, two tighs, two drumsticks and two wings

>>9011594
The idiom blowing smoke up someones ass means i'm being insincere about it. It's true I am inflating his ego but I'm not lying. I genuinely want him to succeed and keep trying and keep posting on this board. Just give good advice and don't shit on him for trying, especially for what seems like a first try.

Btw nice chicken. I would barely call it burnt, as long as the chicken inside is still juicy, that's just added texture. You we're keeping em warm in the oven? What temp did you use. I always hesitate when keeping things hot in the oven over worrying about drying out dishes.

>>9011705
Look I don't want to call you a pleb but come on man. No need to use the narcissistic defense of "sure I am shit but what about you?"
If you accept that you're being judged don't recoil every time it's negative, which in this case it is and should be

>>9011698
Just ask. >>9011644 gave you some good pointers, but I wouldn't rest under foil. Steam is bad for crisp.

seasoned flour. (garlic powder, onion powder, salt, a shit tonne of ground black pepper)
I don't use buttermilk because it's not buttermilk anymore. I just mix sour cream and milk until I get the consistency of buttermilk (lightly coats the back of a spoon)

I separate the flour into two piles coat chicken with flour - milk mixture - more flour. Fry dark meat in 325F oil; Fry white meat in 350F oil.

Also I like a citrus/herb brine. 5% salt solution with onion, garlic, whatever herb i have around (thyme, tarragon, rosemary whatever...) and lemons maybe a bay leaf. Let that sit around with chicken for a few hours.

Better luck next time.

>>9011721
Saul Goodman

>>9011580
>>9011505
>>9011483
I'd fuckin eat that

Is this the fried chicken thread? Can someone post some good recipes? Like that one spicy recipe all korean shops seem to use

>>9011723
To this and all the other pointers ITT. I appreciate it. New to /ck/ but it's always fun.

>>9011683
A turkey has considerably less fat than a chicken per/lb and it's surface area for cooking is fucked up, it's just a giant round ball. Meaning it's going to be hard to get a consistent temp on the bird through the white and dark meats.
I'd honestly suggest spatchcocking a turkey if you are doing a simple preparation, otherwise I would brine it for a long time and put butter and fresh herbs under the skin to make it self-baste. Cook it low and slow at around 350 until ~20 under temp and then give it a good sear with the heat up to 450 or so until the skin is nice and crispy and the breast and thigh are where you want them to be. It's really more work cooking it in an average oven if you don't flatten the bird (such as spatchcocking,) so it's either do the hard work up front or during the cooking. The main trick is to keep the top of the turkey from getting too close to the top of the oven and scorching. You can prevent this by getting it flat or putting a bit of foil over the breast when you are doing the first round of roasting in the lower oven. I like sage, thyme, and tarragon with turkey. Don't forget to make gravy!

>>9011705
Don't sweat it, you posted some OC. Welcome to /ck/

>>9011723
Good point on the foil tent. Yeah, for maximum crisp don't tent. Disregard what I said earlier, fried chicken is gonna be great even when it isn't piping hot.

>>9011644
>>9011723
You guys seems to know your way around fried chicken. Any suggestions for spicy batters/breading?

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>>9011687
Dude I'm sure your friends miss you and would like to hang out with you

Give it a shot

>>9011723
I occasionally make my own butter with the mason jar shaking method. It doesn't take too long and is a more interesting forearm workout than anything else I could do at home or the gym. I don't really do anything with the leftover buttermilk though and I'm wondering if I should start saving the fresh buttermilk for baking and fried chicken. It really never seems anything like buttermilk you get in stores or what your describing by mixing sour cream and milk.

>>9011747
stuff it faggot, you will not convince me this thread has been worth a damn

>>9011757
Why are you posting in it then? Any reason other than being an officious prick?

>>9011750
I'd use it. Especially if it has those awesome yellow flakes of butter in it. I wouldn't use it for fried chicken, use it to make biscuits.

I think they used buttermilk in the past for its acidity and consistency (not too much for flavor) You can get both of them using the yogurt/sour cream and milk method.

>>9011742
Sure. If you wanna get that takeout-Chinese puffy sweet-n-sour chicken thing going on, use self-rising flour. It's usually milled slightly finer than AP and the salt and leavening really give it a great flavour and texture.You can load up the flour with Chinese five spice and a bunch of cayenne to give it a kick. Give it a standard double-fry and it will be able to be crispy and stand up to the most heinous of spicy sauces but also have a pseudo tempura-fluffiness to the breading from the leavening in the flour.
>flour,pepper,spices,water,maybe some salt if you didn't give the chicken a good marinade--give it all a good stir until its like thin pancake batter and it coats the chicken nicely
>fry at 325, fry again at 380

>>9011750
>>9011723
I just use regular old buttermilk from the store. I'm after the cultured stuff with the acidic tang, not the by-product of butter. That's what my southern family has sworn by, and I know chefs are talking about the same stuff.

>>9011765
how dare you

>>9011766
I guess i'll make a big batch of butter soon so I can have a good amount to bake with. It's pretty much just slightly sour skim milk. It'll be interesting to have real fresh buttermilk biscuits. I wonder if they are going to blow my mind or just taste like buttermilk biscuits usually do. Which is good. Just I can't imagine how big of a difference there could be between store bought cultured buttermilk and the stuff left over in a mason jar after shaking all the butter out of it. It tastes different but I don't know how that would manifest in baking.

>>9011771
>I just use regular old buttermilk from the store.
That was created in the late 70's. It's not the same stuff that you see in grandma's cookbook.

>>9011750
I make my own butter with a kitchenaid. The buttermilk lacks the acidity of traditional buttermilk because it isn't churned from cultured cream, which is slightly fermented and contains lactic acid. It won't do much for fried chicken unless you add some lemon juice or vinegar to it. Biscuits need some acidity also, to activate the baking soda.

>>9011771
You are getting me in saucy state of mind. I'm wondering if I should try any of those binging with babish szechuan sauce recipes for fun.

>>9011785
Cultured buttermilk has been around in the south a lot longer than the 70's, man. My Granny used it in her biscuits in the 50's in East Tennessee because it was less time-consuming and the farm was a tobacco and cattle farm, not dairy. But yeah, some people used (and still use) the stuff made from butter.

>>9011811
>Cultured buttermilk
there's no reason for it. You can get the same culture from yogurt/sour cream and you can achieve the consistency by adding milk. If it doesn't have yellow flakes of butter then it isn't buttermilk.

>>9011811
Cultured buttermilk was basically developed to replace clabber as milk first started to be mass pasteurized and couldn't become clabber anymore.

Traditional or sweet buttermilk is more just a byproduct people drunk after a hard day of churning butter, not really meant for baked. goods.

>>9010653
Image appropriée.
>>9010703
>Price in $
How have you heard about le dinner de cons?

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>>9010703
No. Please splain

>>9011847
>>9011870
Sorry. Read the wrong. I'm learning French and Le Diner de Cons is one of my favorite movies.

>>9010788
what language is this? franish?

>>9011885
French.

>>9011876
I hope Hiroyuki reads this.

cook on OP, glad to see someone trying new things around here

>>9010779
did you read? he literally wrote that he threw it away before seeing the post.

>>9011823
I think you're splitting hairs a bit. Stella Parks wrote a good article on buttermilk and it's substitutes, at least from the perspective of baking.
http://www.seriouseats.com/2017/04/how-to-substitute-buttermilk.html

>>9011950
yeah, i've read that. She never tested the sour cream/low-fat milk combo.

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>>9010863
>shuttlecock

>>9011785
>>9011792
>>9011811
>>9011823
>>9011826
>>9011950
>>9011963
Let's not fight and all agree that we want to bang the hell out of this milkmaid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJL-HYSlvRM

>>9010819
You know your chicken is undoubtedly coated in feces anyway, right? A little dog piss isn't going to change anything.

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>>9010653
He probably meant one of these ya goof.

>>9012066
>you will never have a submissive grad school educated milkmaid wife who looks good without makeup and loves being forced to churn butter all day in a ridiculous costume while being gawked at by house guests
bitch better not have any goddamm tattoos though, otherwise I'm throwing her out on the street

>>9012066
She can milk me anytime.

>>9012066
She could just go about her day while playing with your dick the whole time. It's just second nature to her. How great is that

>>9011292
>That works out to around $60/hr, why even work for a living?

>>9010653
You bought a raw chicken for a homeless guy? Wtf. I think he was asking for a rotisserie chicken.

How would he even cook a raw chicken?

>>9010788
Jedi govna

>>9012066
I'd churn her butter

>>9012362
this

the dude probably left when he realized OP was going to hand him a whole frozen chicken instead of the already cooked ones right near the check-out

>>9010658
cover it in butter, then sage rosemary parsley and thyme, and also garlic powder and salt, then just fucking cook it in the oven at like 325 F for an hour per pound or until the juices run clear

>>9010719
i'm sorry your life is so empty

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>>9011721
>narcissistic defense
>"sure I am shit but what about you?"
hmm

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>>9010727
this

you're just stupid OP. You even had the thought in your head
>how tf are you gonna cook this thing?
being the retard that you are, connecting the dots became too difficult of a task.

Is that you in your pic? Looks about right.

>>9011441
why is fried chicken so good?

>>9011292
>$60/hour
Bullshit

>>9010667
The guy's voice in the second video bugs the fuck out of me.

>>9010653
>WTF do I cook with a whole chicken?

...jojo's?

>>9010719
Go to your containment board, lmao. Even introverts like me like to have a little time with good friends and good food now and then

>>9011563
Fuck off, this is such a shitpost.

Obviously OP realized that the batter could have stayed on better. He mentioned that. Still looks tasty.

>>9015042
That does not look tasty. That's some shit I'd eat if served to me, but that does not look good. Hell since op decided to season the breading that fell off that shit probably has a weak as hell flavor. It meets the bare minimum to being properly fried chicken.

>>9010663
>Rub the whole bird down with oil

I already do this everyday

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>>9011505

>>9011441
You messed up with the eggs and the breadcrumbs. Next time just go full flour, and then let the chicken rest for about 15 minutes so the coating "sets". Then fry that shit.