Anyone else have to deal with "grilling morons" this

Sounds like you should just enjoy time with family instead of being a spaz about your uncles cooking

While your uncle is an idiot, I agree with >>8985756

>>8985756
It was just annoying and frustrating.

>>8985820
The point of a family gathering is to spend time with family, not to autistically focus on the food. Your family is ashamed of you.

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>>8985743
>not getting 70/30

>>8985820
boo hoo.

You're fucking pathetic dude. I'll bet your family was so relieved when you left

>>8985743
Like everyone is saying, you should really just learn to enjoy being with your family. It's the little things man.

>>8985743
your uncle might have heart problems that he wasnt willing to mention. not that socializing with an autist was in his itinerary in the first place

Even if the person in charge of the grill is doing dumb shit, you shouldn't intervene. Two people with one grill is a recipe for disaster.
If you're autistic about grilling, be the grill man next time

>>8985743
Dude, just get drunk like everyone else and have fun. Take a few bites of his shit burger, fill up on sides and give the rest of the burger to the fucking dog. Have you really never familied?

>>8986065
>>8986036
>>8985756
>>8986084

Fuck my family I don't give a shit about them and they wouldn't give a shit about me if we weren't blood related

>>8986164
You must be 18 or older to use this website

>>8986075
I would have tried to get on the grill but it would have led to a physical altercation

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>>8985743
God bless America

>Buy expensive steaks for holiday.
>Lump coal in my webber,the works,
>Season steaks simply, salt pepper garlic.
>Awold dad appears with a mystery shaker his "Chili head" buddy made.
>Tel him no and go set steaks on grill.
>Shove some cherry, apple wood on with the close the lid.
>Go wash my plate and see dad head towards back.
>Get to grill before his drunk ass and just i time to watch the raw wood catch flame and sear.
>Flip steaks and stand at the grill so nobody fucks with them.
>Poke one of the steaks.
>Hear an "Ewww why do you touch the Meat!?"

>sister in law goes all out and buys new york strips for us all
>cooks them all well done
>Tells me she doesnt know how to check how done they are
Difference is I didnt spaz out and ate it anyway because I dont have autism

>>8986429
You should have said you already ate and left

This happened yesterday and made me really upset, but oh well. The burgers were still good, and this only happen to one batch.
>be me, recently got good job and moved into an actual house rather then the shitty apartments I've always had
>decide to host a little barbecue with some friends from college and work
>haven't really hung out with anyone from job outside of office, so seems like it could be interesting and fun
>everyone is bringing food, but I'm in charge of all the meat
>did some homemade burgers
>everyone is in backyard drinking, I'm grilling the burgers but run inside to get some cheese
>come back out to one of my coworkers standing over the grill smashing the burgers down with the spatula
>walk up behind him and don't want to seem autistic and push him out of the way
>juice runs out of burgers and flares up the grilll
>he backs away and looks at me
>"haha oh I was just keeping an eye on those for you"
>just say thanks

That asshole

>>8986590
>doesn't have cheese at his grill ready to be used at the proper time

Dude, mise en place.

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>friends are having a party
>anon we're having burgers
>ok want me to bring shrimp skewers
>nobody likes shrimp anon by the way we don't have a grill so we're going to bake hamburgers
>oh uh I have a George Forman grill
>nah we good
>think this sounds like an awful idea but I'm going anyway because I am a good friend

Am I going to be eating meatballs?

>>8986647
Nobody likes shrimp? Do you like always offer to bring shrimp skewers or something lmao?

>>8985743
My friends made some really great ribs and burgers this weekend. Tomorrow I'm going to grill some shrimp or maybe grab some kabobs.

>>8986652
Nah - not really - they said they were like tiny bumpy segmented dicks

>>8986045
>not getting 30/80 for 110% flavour

>>8985743
>80/20 beef
What is this?

>>8985743
Pushing down on patties does nothing to impact how "juicy" the end result is
It affects how wide each patty is.
Nothing more

>>8986743
80% meat 20% fat content. Makes pretty tasty burgs, desu.

>>8986751
pattie pusher spotted

>>8986743
why are you here?

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>>8985820
I feel sorry for your family having your autistic as fuck ass as a member.

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>>8985743
>tfw both my parents were chefs
>always hold parties at their house
>never have to worry about this shit
feels good man

>>8986164
then why are you going to their cookout? just don't go.
>my parents are making me
just refuse. if you literally physically can't get out of a family bbq then you have way bigger problems than dry hamburgers and you should probably start formulating an escape plan.

>>8985820
>It was just annoying and frustrating.
you said you just left. you're a child

>>8986765
To learn nigger

>>8986652
>"For the last time anon nobody wants your fucking shrimp, stop buying it if you're not going to eat it yourself."

>>8986755
Where do you buy beef that says this?

>>8986797
Literally any grocery store [spoiler]if you live in america[/spoiler]
It's almost always on the nutrition sticker, they usually have several different ratios.

You could take the Chef Step approach and sous vide your burgers, and cut out the barbarianism.

>>8986797
Every grocery store in my area carries 80/20 beef, and any store with a "meat department" can make it if you ask.

>>8986590
But you want a flare for a good char

>>8986792
google.com

>>8986821
You are my google

>>8985743
>>8985820
>>8986164

You are a humongous faggot. So what that your uncle is a shit cook, it's not even about that. Be a pretentious ass hole on your own time and appreciate the good things you probably don't deserve, selfish fuck.

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>>8986743

>>8985743
dont listen to these guys, you did the right thing. your uncle sounds like a fag.

>>8986797
wow how do you live?

>>8986908
He is, and he would have got defensive if I would have taken over the grill and it probably would have led to a fight.

>>8986925
>led to a fight

Do you think you could have taken that oldfuck, or maybe even a 50 something guy would have pinned you to the ground and had you screaming for mercy?

>>8986797
found the french 3rd worlder

>>8987036
I would have fucked him up

>>8986164
You are pathetic, you should be grateful that they even invited you to the cookout.
Go take your angst and shove it up your ass.

>>8985743
Try having a vegan family.
>No burgers
>Everything is tofu and curry
>They invite people who cant even speak English
>Even the immigrants are like "Where is meat?"

Not buying tenderloin and grinding your own burgers.

>>8985743
>Doesn't kick over grill and run away screaming. 0/10.

>>8989078
That sounds depressing

>>8989078
I'm laughing way too hard at this.

>>8989078
>vegans

worst memorial day ever

>>8985743
>friend throws backyard get together
>grill is over fire pit at edge of patio where everyone is sitting
>friend insists on making wood fire, and grilling everything in small batches, so fire has to be kept going for a couple hours
>no chimney on fire pit so smoke everywhere in yard with no place to escape
>food ends up being great (good smoky flavor), but guests end up smoked as well

You couldn't even escape the smoke by going into the house because he left the windows and the screen door open, and the smoke blew in there as well. Not gonna argue with the results, but the campfire method was a bit much in a suburban back yard.

>>8989078
>>They invite people who cant even speak English
>memorial day weekend

fucking disgusting

>>8986405
>paying extra for edgy bone

>>8986647
I'm not sure about baking burgers, but they're really easy to pan-fry.

>>8986797
The butcher.

>>8985820
You are a bad person and should feel sad about it.

>>8990897
How so? Incompetence irks me

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I posted this earlier, but this is about 1/8" thick and tasted like a hotdog. It's surely meat product purée that's been extruded in this shape, so I guess it's basically the same thing.

Came to my moms cookout hoping for a nice burger.

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>>8990903
Is this you, you giant faggot?

>>8990903
I feel you man. Just learn to roll with it and go back to your tism cave to recoup.

>Friend comes to the house saying he just had his first fishing trip and wants to celebrate.
>k
>Fires up grill and sloped a pretty nice trout on it.
>Didn't use foil but will forgive him.
>Fish seems to be bloating.
>Look closer, notice something wrong.
>This dumb morfucker didn't clean the fi-
>It explores all over

>>8986647
>cookout with no grill
>want a grill?
>>nah we good
Clearly they're idiots.

>>8986405
Is that a fucking grenade

>>8985743
>It explores all over
Did it find anything?

>>8991756
What?

>>8989078
How did your parents even reproduce when your dad is obviously too much of a faggot to have sex with a woman? Surrogate mother?

>>8989078
>when Mohammed asks where the halal beef is

is it wrong to cook a burger to well done? Am I missing out on something? What do you lads recommend for burgers, how cooked it should be I mean.

>>8991561
That poor fish didn't deserve that bad ending.

>>8991561
What did it find? A new continent? A new planet?

>b me
>memorial day 2017
>make pulled pork over the previous 48 hours
>invite neighborhood to pool party
>"thanks for coming, food and drinks are over here! Help yourselves!"
>"oh anon, we don't dine on swine"

Fucking there goes the neighborhood. Now I have to fucking move again to an even richer, whiter, part of town. Fucking bullshit.

>>8985743
Anon, how can you get this upset about fucking burger?
Jesus, it's a shit sandwich anyw
Am I being trolled?
This is a shitty ruse isn't it...you almost got me OP.
You almost got me

>>8985743
I had a similar experience when I went to hang out with my friend. He wanted to grill up some food so I said OK.

>hes dieting so he decides to buy meme lean beef
>but for some reason buys butter infused hamburger buns that are like 500 cals each
>ok.jpg
>flips the burgers like 100 times
>pushing down on the patty constantly with the spatula
>cuts into it half way through to see how much it has cooked
>absolutely convinced that any sign of pink in the middle is dangerous and wrong

god i fucking hate some people. never grilling with him again

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>>8986361
No, you retard. You call your senpai weeks ahead, and say "hey, I'll bring some good meats, you pitch in some other meats you'd like, and I'll be happy to grill it all up" like a civilized person.

What you DON'T do is show up and try to tackle your uncle because his grilling skills are unrefined due to old and obsolete habits.

How autistic are you?

>>8993133
>we don't dine on swine

probably Jews

>>8993191
Idk I'm not Jewish but I don't really care for pork. The textures are usually weird.

>>8993191
Fucking backwards ass Jews following hygiene laws written by slaves lost in the desert 5000 years ago.

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>uncle will grill anything until it's bone dry
>gets the bbq sauce
>DILUTES IT WITH A SHIT TON OF WATER
>then smears this barely sweet water mixture onto the meat
>tastes like shit
>nobody in his family knows how to cook so they don't care

>>8986751
cook one your way smashing the juices out and cook another 4 mins each side quarter turned every 2 mins and tell me there's no difference

Grilled corn and hot dogs over a chimney starter because we don't have a real grill, but also I didn't know you couldn't put it on asphalt so now we have a cigarette burn on the driveway. At least it didn't melt or explode, didn't have it burning for long anyway. It was a comfy time

>>8993231
white people amirite

>>8993191

It was a mixed race couple, I got the feeling they were just health nuts, and maybe vegetarian/vegan. Their kids had never had nacho dorritos before... You should have seen their little faces light up when I expanded their horizons.

>mfw I realized my pulled pork was probably 100 times healthier than the dorritos their mom let them eat

>>8985743
>I ended up just leaving
and sat right back down at the kids table

>>8993080
nothing wrong with it but medium burgers are better in my opinion

>>8990903
The fact that you don't seem to understand how autistic you are is the most incompetent thing I've seen all day.

>>8985756
>Spend time with family
>Food is great
>Conversation is great
>Everybody has a good time

vs

>Spend time with family
>Food is dogshit
>Puts everybody in a bad mood because now they're just hungry
>Guy who cooked it is offended nobody likes it
>Shit time

>>8985743
just ask to be the cook next time, don't have an autism attack about your uncle's inability to cook decently.

>>8985743
I like lean 90/10 beef for burgers because I put cheese and mayo on them, along with the veg. I kind of like when they dry out a bit and get crispy.

Whenever I get 80/20 ground beef the burgers are bland as fuck.
What are cheap cuts of beef I can use to make burgers that are better tasting than cheap super market ground beef?

>>8990625
>>8991667

LMFAO

>>8991561
Kek what the fuck?

>>8986713
kek

>>8989078
>bring portable grill
>bring every moving thing that liveth as meat for you like God intended
>revel in freedom while teaching the immigrants English and what they need to know for their citizenship tests so they can become real Americans

>>8991667
What? Haven't you ever heard of cooking a grenade?

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>>8993760
But you aren't meant to cook guac

>>8986164
>they wouldn't give a shit about me if we weren't blood related

That's probably because you're an irritating autistic fuck who is exhausting to be around.

>>8985743
kek did you storm out and make a scene?

>>8986751
>Squashing the liquid out of the burger makes no difference to how much liquid is in the burger.

I can tell you smash the shit out of your burgers from your lack of logic and poor grasp of critical thinking skills.

>>8993786
welcome to my filter list sub human attention starved faggot

>>8993803
>being this mad at /ck/'s oldest surviving tripshit
lol

one time I got so mad at him that I ran a tripcode cracker until my CPU overheated and crashed my computer

it was a frankenstein install with FDE and I couldn't get past GRUB after that so I had to wipe and reinstall. lost a lot of porn that day

I have never confessed this on 4chan and I basically suppressed the memory out of shame

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>>8993803
You only just noticed Opiate?
Welcome to /ck/, newfriend.

>>8993803
You are literally the worst thing that has ever happened on the internet.

>>8985743
/autism/

>>8993251
>It was a mixed race couple
Turn on the gas

>>8993786
I didn't make a hug scene but they definitely knew I wasn't happy when i walked out

>>8993396
usually I grind burgers out of chuck

A fatty cut is your best bet, but nothing too expensive because you're not going to get much tenderness from the grind.

>>8994021
You realise they all shrugged and then laughed about you later? "Well, you know what Anon is like..."

>>8993813
sorry for your loss

>>8994031
And they are all pleb tier scum who don't know good from bad food and will continue to be ignorant

>>8993803
>not already having all tripfags filtered

>>8994057
Sure, but they'll interact like normal functioning human beings. And you'll die alone.

>>8994068
That's fine they are ignorant morons who will never know the finer things in life let them all conversate in ignorance

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>>8994071

>>8994077
Whatever ur a fucking moron just like them, I bet you think a Applebee's burger is gourmet

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>>8994082

>>8994085
Ignorant and proud wow you really are something loser

>>8993269
Țbh it sounds like your family is made of cunts. You can join mine if you come down to Texas.
>Spend time with family
>Food is not always great, we let someone new cook when we get together.
>Conversation lets you know how your people are doing.
>Everybody looks forward to the next one.

>>8993251
>It was a mixed race couple

And you actually invited them into your house?

Guys stop bully, OP clearly has some family issues you don't know what he's been through because of his autism.

>>8994090
M'lady

>>8993080
Burgers should be cooked to well done unless the meat was ground within 24 hours

>>8985756
Typical /ck/ defending retarded family members.

Go back to your safe space, /pol/.

>>8985820
Your annoying and frustrating. If you want to man the grill, throw your own fucking bbq you ingrateful spiteful worm. Here's a tip: NO ONE FUCKING MISSED YOU AND YOUR INCESSANT WHINING AT THE PARTY.

This thread reminds me of thanksgiving like 3 years ago
>Be staying with my grandparents since I live out of state
>Help with the cooking
>Sweet potato pie
>Knifes are all dull
>No peeler
>Grandpa wants to warm everything in the microwave
>Tries to backseat cook while I'm preping the shit

I think old people are just to set in their ways. They still have the plastic cups that you see in hospitals, those are their drinking cups.

It was still a good time, but for some reason it just put me in a slighted mood.

ITT: dickheads

>>8985743
Nope. Went over to my Dad's and his cooking is great. I had smoked brisket. Whee!

>>8995447
>Knives are all dull

My parents do this shit too. Its like they don't believe in knife sharpeners

>>8985743
You sound like a bitch. I wouldn't have invited you.

>>8990625
My own cow

>>8992679
Read your post again.

>>8995427
Oh boy, we got an epic Antifa warrior over here! You bench 12 pounds yet?

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>>8996113
I was at my mom's house helping her cook and mentioned how all of her knives were dull and that sharpening them was easy and cheap, her only response was "they're not the kind you sharpen"

>>8993813
Now thats what i call autism

>>8995297
You dont have sanitized and certified slaughterhouses in South Sudan?

>>8998284
>they're not the kind you sharpen
This is why i would never cook for my ungrateful family ever again

>>8986698
>not liking dicks

Your friends are faggots

>>8990406
>nation of immigrants
>mad at new immigrants

Pot kettle black, amerilards

>>8991756
Nice job, retard. You tried to be a sarcastic prick and replying to the wrong post like an idiot.
Maybe you should just grow out of correcting spelling on the Internet?

>>8996189
What do you raise?

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>>8999820
*replied
Past tense, retard.

>>8986867
Shut the fuck up reddit trash. Stop trying to force you're nice boy good feelings shit into 4chan. We're elitist assholes and you're not changing that. Stop trying to erase our sites culture, cunt.

>>8999739
>nation of hardworking immigrants who built a superpower
>mad at a bunch of sleazy impoverished drug dealers trying to leach off the system
Yea what a fucking hypocrisy amirite?

>If you dare have a problem with any family member and keep this to yourself outside of anonymous image boards, you're a spoiled brat who should kill himself

If you believe this you're a dumb queer, stop posting. Anonymously talking about small pet peeves on an image board is the most graceful way to enjoyably vent about the little things that make up a relationship, if you don't get that YOU'RE the autist, not OP.

Don't have any stories myself though, my parents were the kind to serve boiled chicken breast with ketchup as a meal for weeks on end, or spaghetti noodles overcooked with a can of spaghetti sauce and nothing else.

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>>8999941
No, he's try to force underage angsty retards who think their family is so evil for pushing down patties on a grill.
You're not an elitists asshole - you're an edgelord. The fact that you hold this site's "culture" in high regard only confirms that.

>>8999946
>tfw the sleazy impoverished drug lords are descendants of legal immigrants or slaves.

>>8986643
This

>>9000010
>You're not an elitists asshole
>elitists asshole
No I think he very well might be, given the shit coming out of him.