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>get some great home made burger patties from my neighbor
>spend most of the day defrosting them
>fry the buns
>get the veggies
>shit is gonna be tight
>assemble it all
>last minute decide to add an egg for some reason
>pan is sizzling hot from burgers
>i can feel the protein gods smiling down upon me
>crack egg into pan
>the world goes slow motion
>get a split second look of what was inside the egg
>pitch black
>thick as tar
>i have opened Pandora's eggshell
>hits the pan and fries instantly
>the smell
>jesus fucking christ
>grab the pan and chuck it out a window into the snow (norwegian spring)
>double over and throw up out the window
>hear a loud bang
>frantically opening all windows to waft out the smell
>its not working
>the smell is in my sinuses and it won't leave
>run outside
>the snow has melted around the pan
>pan is cracked straight in half for some reason
>the smell
>THE SMELL
>shovel snow over the demon i have unwillingly birthed into this world
>the mound looks like an umarked grave
>go inside and ignore how cold it's getting
>refuse to close windows
this was roughly an hour ago. i'm still smelling it. put some industrial grade lip balm in my nose to get rid of it and that helped.
unfinished burger is still on my kitchen counter.
I've seen and smelled spoiled eggs before, but this was something else, definitely straight out of hell.
i'm never going to eat again. what unholy forces can turn an egg into black syrup?? will the smell ever leave????
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>>8929998
The pan cracked because of the dramatic change in temperature from the stove to the snow, same reason why you shouldn't take a glass straight from the sanitizer and pour ice water into it
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>>8929998
This is why you yuropoors should keep your god damn eggs in the refrigerator.
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>>8929998
Death comes for all of us. Will you stand, or will you submit?
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>>8930016
it was in the fridge, and it was from a newly bought pack. all the other eggs in there were fine.
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>>8930016
Euro eggs aren't covered in chicken shit.
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>>8930022
can you sue?
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>>8930033
Wrong, Euro eggs ARE covered in shit, that's why they don't have to be put in the fridge, they haven't had all the protective shit washed off.
American eggs are power washed.
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>>8930037
... can i?
i hadn't really thought about that. not sure it would be worth it honestly.
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>>8930044
what you could do instead is send a letter to them or your local news station, and hope they give you some free stuff or vouchers.
involving lawyers will make no one happy
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>>8930046
i'm betting the news would like pictures, and i don't have any. i'm not going to dig up that demon until spring does it for me.
honestly, i'm going to try to move on, for roughly a week before hunger takes me.
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>>8929998
The smell you describe sounds like rakfisk
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>>8930037
>OP mentions norwegian spring
isn't Norway like the nicest country on Earth? i don't think it would be the nicest thing for him to do something so selfish
Anders Brevik was enough
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>>8930138
i'm pretty sure OP was just explaining why there was snow in the middle of may
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A minute of silence for your pan.
I'm a little confused about your patties, did you or did you not get to save them? Where they on the pan when Satan's testicle was birthed?
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>>8930159
in the nicest country on earth, pay attention
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>>8930167
i fried the patties before the egg, had them all on their respective buns. they are still there, waiting for me, unspoiled. i just can't bring myself to eat them.
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>>8930180
>them
>eating multiple burgers per meal
do Norwegians really do this?
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>>8930210
i made extras to put in the fridge and eat later, or for my roommate if he wanted
but i can't deny i'm fat and would have eaten at least two
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>>8929998
You have found satan's testicle
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Sounds like the fake chemical eggs. Thought it was only China that had those
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>try to defrost ground beef in microwave
>forget about it
>2 minutes go by
>totally ruined
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>>8931870
literally put it in a ziploc bag and put it in cold water for 8 hours
Thread posts: 23
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Thread images: 5