>go to store >buy peanut butter >go home >open it

Take it to the police station and use the fingerprint to track down the suspect.

>>8890633
return it.

>>8890637


if the store owner is bored enough and has a camera installed you could even find out who did it.


Where i work i've seen ripped open candy and chips bags in the shelves before. Its asshole-teenagers doing this.

Well now you can put your dick in there and not worry about ruining a whole jar of peanut butter. Give it a shot

>>8890633
that's why i don't grab items at the front. you could just ask customer service for a new jar.

return it, but ask since they are throwing it away if you can keep and feed to squirrels

That's irritating but I'd just skim off the top layer and eat the rest.

>be shopping for Christmas presents with my friend
>go into conserves isle
>open one of every single type of jam and marmalade so I can sniff it and have an idea of how nice it is
>realise afterwards that I would've broken all the seals and they'd probably all go stale and mouldy
Still kek sometimes thinking of all the people's days I've inadvertently ruined because of it

>>8890670
ew yo what if they had ass under their fingernails?

>>8890682
I hope one day someone opens you for a sniff, and you get old and moldy. Fucking monster

>>8890633
take a spoon and carefully remove the entire upper portion that has been touched. No microorganism can traverse through peanut butter enough to go deeper than the surface.

>>8890732
what about ass or balls particles

>>8890737
Mostly E coli and they aren't swimming through peanut butter.

>>8890732
>No microorganism can traverse through peanut butter enough to go deeper than the surface.

This is maybe the stupidest post I have ever seen on /ck/. How do you think peanut butter ferments?

>>8890682
you monster

>>8890682
You probably gave some family botulism
Be more considerate in the future, please

>>8890653
If it's a small store, they'll tell you to fuck off because it was probably you who dipped your finger in it.
If it's like walmart, they still won't believe you, but they don't get paid enough to care and their policy is always give the refund because they know a $3 loss is worth your lifetime patronage.

>>8890633
>2017
>not sampling the jar with a patrician pinky while at the store to see if you are interested

>>8890765
>ferments
Nigger what. Who is fermenting peanut butter

>>8890655
You're right.
OP this is the opportunity of a lifetime

>>8890810
>get refund
>never go back

>>8890633
Don't shop at the grocery store in the poor neighborhood

>>8890655
But wouldn't you get peanut butter all in your pee hole?