You're at a bar. The bartender sets this drink down in front

>>8861512
Awesome.

Y..you too

>>8861512
"thanks, I appreciate it"

>>8861512

"Here's a $5.00 tip. Next time make it top shelf scotch on the rocks."

>>8861512
"Thanks"

Anyone who turns down free booze is a retard

>>8861573
this, I can't stand the taste or smell of jager but someone puts a free shot of it in front of me and I'm downing it.

>>8861589
You sound like you'd be a great drinking buddy

>Awesome, also could you bring me a glass of white rum as much as you'll give me and a glass of water.

>>8861512
Not even sure what it is but hey, free booze.

>>8861639
It's clearly a raspberry mojito.

>>8861512
"Oh, ok, thanks"

>>8861512
bitchin, but ur barking up the wrong tree there buddy

>>8861512
First I would have to make sure all the ingredients are 100% organic.

>>8861803
And vegan, did I tell /ck/ i was a vegan?

>>8861512
I'd look around for the gay man hitting on me with this monstrosity.

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Id probably make a move to maybe get some napkins or something but "accidentally" knock the entire glass over and then ask for a Bahama mama instead

There's a sneaky snek hiding in there, Frankie Muniz must be trying to kill me again.

>sweet! Thanks
Bartender says enjoy your drink.
>Y-you too

>>8861512
"I can see that you over-diluted the spirit. Thanks anyway"

Has a crime been committed if someone puts a roofie in my drink but I just wake up with all of my orifices untouched and all of my posessions still in my pockets?

>>8861512
No, it's on the table.

>>8862724
They probably stole your kidney by shoving a vacuum cleaner hose up your asshole. I'd get myself checked out if I were you.

>>8862724
Yes, Tampering with anyone's food or beverages is a crime.

>>8861512
>I rock the house! Haha just kidding but seriously who carries fresh mint.

>>8861512
>and what's the house on, a burial ground for fuckin' faggots?

>>8862724
Yes. It's legally considered poisoning someone.

>>8861512
Thank you

That looks delicious, I'd tip extra well and ask for another

>>8861562
*tips fedora and winks*

>>8861512
*raise glass* "Well then here's to the house!"

>>8861512
I thank him and drink it.

are mojitos gay?

>>8862904
Only if it has mint.

>8862904
Not if we keep it between us.

>>8862937
Fuck you.

>>8861512
That actually happened to me once. The bartender for the night turned out to be my cousin and he offered me a drink.

>>8861512
Well I expect that.
The drinks here are always free.

>>8862952
Okay, but don't tell.

>>8861512
Throw it in his face and remind him I asked for a drink, not a fruit salad

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Slap the glass over.
>it sure is.
>bring me a real drink faggot.

>>8863147
11yro commentary

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Start having Hotline miami flashbacks and kill every russian in the bar.

"it's like San Francisco all over again"

>>8861512
>Someone wants muh cack.

>>8862554
>rasberry mojito
>monstrosity
Never been to a tropical area, huh?

>>8863350
I don't waste time in flyoverville.

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>>8862926
???
fight me bitch mint is delicious

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>>8861512
>I like fruit
>I like booze
>I fuckin love ginger
>It's free
>I'm not autistic and I'm secure in my masculinity

"Fuckin sweet, thanks man." And give a good tip.

>>8863421
this

>>8863432
Underrated post.

>>8861512
i cast magic missile

>>8863432
+1

shoot the place up. take free condoms

>"Awwww thank you!"
Then I drink it and probably get something to eat as well.

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>>8861512

>thanks!
>glug glug glug!
>wake up next day next to dumpster
>why does my booty hole hurt so much

>>8863472

Sup /tg

>>8863673
>why does my booty hole hurt so much

Someone hasn't been doing their stretching.

>>8861647
and you clearly suck dick

>>8861512
>Free
>Booze
>Red/pink and leafy is appealing
"Thanks!"

free booze is free booze
thanks barman

>>8861562

5 dollars is dick

>>8863147
He surrepticiously adds Visine to your 'real' drink.

Please tell me it's a cute girl who does this.

>>8865812

Nope, it's a bara bartender named Jack and he thinks you're looking really good right now. Maybe he mistook you for a soft twink.

"I only drink space beer."

>>8863421
only correct answer

Ask him if he's a top.

>>8861589
This.

I mumble a thank you while looking directly away from the bartender
If they ask me what I said I mumble quieter
If they ask me again I curl up on the seat and start crying until I get taken outside by the bouncer
I then shuffle into an alleyway and sit amonght the rest of the garbage crying until I get too cold and go home smelling like shit

>>8865841
>mistook
Nothing was mistaken here

>>8861512
Thank you!

Seriously, it's free booze. Don't be a cock suck.

>>8861512
you reply: "thank you" good manners cost nothing...

>>8861512
thanks uleh

>>8861573
No one said there was booze in it.

>>8863421
Preach brother!!

>>8865809
Dumbass. That's a fuckin myth

mojitos are disgusting but the raspberry may convert me

Thanks, could I have a Guinness too?
*Pass fruity drink off to a pretty lady

I'd wink at him and tell him to meet me behind the dumpster after his shift

>>8861512
Drink it, because I'm not too insecure about my masculinity to enjoy a fruity drink. Anyone that's a part of the "real men only drink hard liquors straight" crowd is just desperately worried that others will think less of them for enjoying things that society decides aren't manly.

ITS NOT FUCKING RASPBERRY

ITS BLACKBERRY.

Goddamn

>>8868620
Nope
https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/002590.htm

>>8869364

hahAA i'm not gay haHAa here u go pretty lady because i'm not gay HAhaa

>>8861512
"it better be, because I didn't order it"

and then I'd drink it

decline it
dont know whats been done to it

>>8863362
>tropical area
>flyover
what?

I trust my bartender; or did until I moved.

So, "Thanks man. What's on next?"

>>8861512
>contains alcohol
>free
>tastes good

"Thanks" and then drink it.

>>8862767
lamo.

Probably not the right thread but I've got a gallon of Bacardi in my freezer that I need to do something with, what's the best way to mix and drink without hating it? We mixed some with just coke and it was plain bad.

>>8870671
Drink it straight.

>>8870671
Bacardi plain brown rum is a great buzz, though the taste is lacking you should drink it straight. People that can keep alcohol around and not drink it baffle me. Unless it's spiced rum, which takes several years to drink per bottle because it's so fucking bad.

>>8863673
This almost happened to me. A bartender at my local dive was openly gay (dont care) and got convicted of many counts of rape for drugging dudes via a special bottle of strega he kept behind the bar. Dude kept giving me free shots because I was a regular then offered to smoke up in his car in the parking lot. I got fucking wrecked (I could feel myself getting too far gone) thanked him for his generosity and went on my way. I slept till like 5pm the next day. Way longer than my typical bender.

A week or two later the dude was arrested, now serving 20 years for rape of dudes using that special bottle.

Jokes on him, he didnt realize I was al/ck/ and could handle my shit. Thanks for the free drugs dude.

>>8870754
I wish someone would try me. There's no amount of any drug that can bring me anywhere near a knockout and I love free drugs. Even fucking scopolamine does nothing but make me smoke invisible cigarettes and stare at my computer.

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>>8870723
>>8870740
Drink this straight? And it's not brown at all

>>8869522
It doesn't give people the shits like most people believe. You put enough in there it can potentially kill someone. People are so fuckin stupid. You included. You don't fuckin poison people asshole

>>8870853
Cuba Libre

Thanks bae, what's your grindr?

thanks, can you whip me up an old fashipmed while i drink this

>>8870740
Spiced rums not bad desu! sailor jerry is ok and so is cruzan spiced rum, I will say its cheap for a reason though.

Drink it, obviously.

>>8868594
Mojito, by defintion, has alcohol in it.

>>8861512
>Next round's on me lad

>>8861512
>ginger

Wait a minute. Why would you put ginger in a mojito?

>mojitos are a pussy drink
Says the virgin beta while I sip on a freshly made mojito while my wife sucks my dick after I made 39 bucks an hour that day

>>8863704
I suck dick and still did not know what it was. What now bitch?

>>8873373
>makes wage instead of salary

wew lad

>>8870754
should have visited the court house while he was being dragged out and shouted.
> "Thanks for the free drugs faggot!"

>>8861512
Thank them and put in an extra $5 when I pay my tab. Happened often enough when I went out to bars, if I catch some of my favorites outside of work I treat them to a shot.

>>8873169
Have you ever had ginger syrup? That stuff is delicious.

>>8873778
>Doesn't get paid overtime like a cuck
t b h f a m

>>8862748
what if someone asks for a couple of ice cubes and you only put in one

>>8862596
Epic d00d. Super random.

>>8862724
Yes, because some people have dangerous or even fatal reactions to roofies. Also, the morons who do that to others don't always know how to calculate proper dosage and use way the fuck too much.

>>8874046
thanks for the chuckle

>>8863362
>Miami
>Flyover

Wake the fuck up

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"Thank you bartender Cory..."

>>8861512
>Oh shit, thanks man
Berry mojitos are fucking delightful.

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>>8870768
>Even fucking scopolamine does nothing but make me smoke invisible cigarettes and stare at my computer.
Knowing that I know this feel is a worse feel than the feel itself. Datura was a mistake.