>not owning a juicero Absolute plebians https://www.youtu

>>8834089
What the fuck did I just watch

>>8834089
That is the stupidest piece of single purpose garbage that I have ever seen

700 dollars for a wifi connected juicer that requires single serve packs that are 5 bucks a piece
Only a literal retard would ever think of buying this

>>8834089
i emailed the richest friend I had in college to see if she had one.

yup. this is a product for people who have seasonal furniture and house staff whose only job is to manage the other house staff.

>>8834524
Also it doesn't do anything

It doesn't do anything

You can just squeeze the bag

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>Not posting the best part
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-04-19/silicon-valley-s-400-juicer-may-be-feeling-the-squeeze

>>8834524

5 bucks a piece? holy shit why don't you just buy it from a juice shop at that point, probably would be fresher than this plastic bag shit

>>8834549
Nigger do you not understand that this is COLD PRESS juice?

Your hands are fuckin warm and shit. If you use anything other than the Juicero juice press system then you are LITERALLY ruining your juice.

>>8834549
i'd love for someone to cut open a bag before it is squeezed at all, then strain the contents and compare that side by side with a squeezed glass.

So what's the actual technology here? A mechanical press with WiFi?

>>8834656
No. The real technology is in that packaging. Just look at that sexy fucking box.

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>>8834089
>$400 (after a $300 price cut) for a juice bag squeezer (can't even juice fruits or vegetables)
>can hand-squeeze the bags because they're fucking bags
>DRM for juice

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coming from someone who owns a $400 juicer..


holy fucking shit

Can somebody please call me a newfag and tell me I fell for a joke video. I refuse to believe this is real

>>8835852
i bet it doesn't have wifi connectivity though

>>8835866
no, but it makes hummus like a boss

>>8834089
plebeians*

>>8834563
You spent all your money on one didn't you?

>>8834089
Silicon Valley needs to be nuked from orbit.

On that note, I guess smoothies and juices are all the rage now? Maybe I should try one someday. But really, this is for "busy" people with too much money who don't have the time to eat a fucking fruit everyday, right?

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>>8834524
https://youtu.be/stTzLmoStsU

what about this $500 tortilla pod machine?

>>8837258
>california accent that suddenly slips into spanish whenever she says tortilla
this hurt to watch

>Doug Evans

Hey, it's that activated almonds guy that spends 45 dollars a fuckin' -day- on his 'Day on a Plate'.

I prefer the Milky Bars and Just Screaming myself. So very many spiders!

>>8837258
If you have the dough, why not flatten it and cook it yourself?

How bout we just wait a few months for sales to decline, and then round up and torture and kill anyone who purchased one? How 'bout it /ck/? We could make a vast compendium of cannibalism memes out of their bodies. One person could do a Jack parody, a reviewbrah parody, we could put their eyes in a retro jell-o mold, authentic deep dish, trick Guy Fieri into eating human flesh, tendies, "beef" wellington, the possibilities are endless. /ck/ would be legendary. finally it would be our time. "food gore" threads would never be the same.

>>8838385
Bad goy.

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>>8835866
it looks like it has 2 ports for fucking though

https://arstechnica.com/business/2017/04/this-400-appliance-that-squeezes-juice-out-of-a-bag-appears-unnecessary/
cutting bag: 1:30
'juicer': 2:00

>>8834089
This isn't real, is it?

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>"juicer" with a subscription service
>keurig for tortillas

How about a $1,500 smart toaster oven full of glitches?

https://www.fastcodesign.com/3065667/this-1500-toaster-oven-is-everything-thats-wrong-with-silicon-valley-design

Its one thing if you buy fruit and then and juices it but fucking packs of juice filled with added sugar is not what i was looking forward too

>>8838507
The subscription based ideas presented in this thread are laughable. However, this is actually a legitimate idea.

I take it they didn't execute very well though.

>>8838351
Thats Pete Evans
>>8838458
It is the comany has recieved $120 million in investment

>>8834089

LOLS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lutHF5HhVA

>>8834089

People are saying that we aren't in a tech bubble.

I know it. You know it. We all know it.

>>8837258
>artisan

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Dr Oz loves it, Gwyneth Paltrow's site named it invention of the year in 2016, A-Trak is a fan, Oprah handed it out and Katy Perry enjoyed it at Coachella, why aren't you juicing with #Juicero?

>>8837277
That's 3rd gen mexicans for you

If you really want to fuck the investors over, you cut open the bag after having dejuiced it and then EAT the pulp! It wil be like ... like ... just eating the whole fruit! For free! Aaaahahahah!

>>8835836
No, see, the market won't buy it and it'll crash and burn, the investors are punished with loss for their bad move, the system works.

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>>8838782
>People wanted Star Trek but things are turning into Endtown or Wall-E levels of absurdity.

>>8837277
She actually spanishizes the word before tortilla as well, which makes it that much more cringy.

>>8837258
fudesh tortillas

>>8835915
yes, and i barely scraped by for this month's rent, but it was worth it to have healthy juice

>>8840047
>Dennis Reynolds working his system at age 60

>>8834663
That is a pretty damn nice box. Probably where all the R&D bucks went.

>>8838403
>"food gore" threads would never be the same.
kek

>>8837277
topkek

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>>8834557
>were surprised to learn
>Machine's function is to squeeze
>Surprised that people can squeeze with their hands
Quality company

>>8837258
>use our keurig cup plastic packaging, one PER TORTILLA
>it cuts down on food waste :^)
too bad it doesn't cut down on normal fucking waste
god this whole thing makes me who angry
who buys this shit